IN Fear of the Unknown.

What has been one of my concern with regard to understanding who i am is the 'fear issue', like what is fear? What makes a man in his right sense and stability of mind to put it mildly, shit in his pants/ What makes one's blood runs cold and the hair at the back of your neck stands up like porcupine quilts when the animal is disturbed? What stops us from taking any action even when doing it means that we are acting out of our convictions as humans like making a protest of one kind or another over an injustice done towards others as in the Gaza, Palestinian issues.Why do we keep quiet over the wanton disregard for human lives that is spreading all over the Muslim world or why are we afraid of the irregularities and exploitation of our own political system here in our own country and abroad? probably the answer lies in fear; we are really afraid of consequences and what will become of us if we are made to account for our standing.
Almost a week ago on my birthday that was on the 12th. of August i had a very close encounter with one form of fear that has left an indelible mark upon my mind and it happened while i was trying to fall asleep inside the hut out at the foot hills of Kampong Lintang, where the SRI LOVELY Organic farm is. I was alone and had fallen asleep for a few hours until about three in the morning when i was awaken by the sound of presumably fruits falling on top of my thatch roof as the hut is located right beneath a large 'Langsat Tree and it was fruiting. Failing to fall back to sleep i decided to sit in meditation and do some 'Zikhrullah' or chanting with some Quranic verses and sometimes talking to the Lord like he was there. It helps to keep my mind from wandering into useless topics otherwise. As I got into it I realized that the fruits falling on top of my roof had gotten louder and more 'aggressive', till it came to a point where it was no more sounds like fruit falling of the branches but like stones being pelted all around the hut.
I stopped my chanting and it stopped for a while and when i decided to continue the 'attack' resumed even more vehemently. I was by then perturbed and decided to take a more aggressive action myself by stepping out of the hut and check things out. It was not quite as dark outside as there was still a quarter moon hanging up in the almost clear sky and no wind to suggest why all the dropping of fruits more so than usual. I had my long bamboo stick in my hand just in case and as i stood there I thumbed the ground hard three times and declared out loud to no one in particular, "As the ground beneath my feet and the sky above my head bear witness, I fear none but Allah and He is the Lord of Power over the seen and unseen!" I felt like a fool after that standing out there in the dark but after a while i decided to take a walk just to prove to myself that i was not afraid of whatever it was that was trying to get me to jump into my car and take off. Then the whole area around the compound started to light up like it was on a full moon night and i felt elated for some odd reason. I had this similar experience a few time before in my life and so was not overwhelmed or even excited. I just bowed into the unknown and headed back into my hut.
Still not being able to fall asleep i sat and naturally started reciting the verses from the Quran which has now become a natural thing for me whenever i sit to meditate. As i did this, bang! a very loud stone-like impact hit the zinc part of the roof sending shivers up and down my spine and it gathered momentum and intensity lie the whole hut was being pelted by some Palestinian boys declaring and Intifadah on an Israeli tank. I was by then no more pissed but pissed off an so i decided to join in the fun and i sang my heart out one of the Beatles songs."Those were the days my friends, we thought they never end. We sing and dance forever and today.. hey hey.." I sang out loud, I shouted it out on top of my voice and my fears. I sang one song after another like i was in a Karaoke room singing to my friends and while doing this i noticed the silence outside, no a single fruit falling and not even a frog singing. I stopped after my third song and started to recite the verses again just to ensure myself that i was not going insane. Bang came a loud noise on the zinc and followed by a few more. So i i spoke out into the night, "Sorry, i said I will respect your position if you respect mine, no more Quranic verses or English songs if you will let me sleep in peace. I came to find peace and quiet, not to make enemies." I fell asleep soon after and it decided to rain outside which made sleep even more inviting as it helped me to forget what had just transpired.
“It never ceases to amaze me when God wants to take someone to the next level in their life and they let fear of the unknown rob them of tremendous blessings. I think there are two common problems with Christians- They are scared to death of being truly free and of God's overwhelming love.” 
― R. Alan Woods, The Journey Is the Destination: A Book of Quotes With 
I will never know of how much of what happened was all in my own head or if i really was 'attacked by some form of 'supernatural' entity, but i knew what fear was all about and for once i stood and faced my fear and did not back down so easily. I felt the reason for my being able to face my fear was because I was more or less detached from my experience or my fear factor; I stepped back and was witnessing my own reactions towards what was happening. I was able to claim my position over whatever that was trying to bring me to my knees, I became more aggressive than the aggressor, more weird than the weird event, I was beginning to even enjoy the incident rather than fear it. In some small way i discovered a part of my true nature; that which is a part of the higher order if not closer to the Divine in me. I had understood what it was to take refuge in the Lord and His Power in my hour of need.

“The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown” 
― H.P. Lovecraft, Supernatural Horror in Literature