I, Am No More!

So, how does one say detached from all these day to day episodes played upon your screen of consciousness? The Plane shot out of the sky by some mad men who wishes to be heard, a siege of horrendous proportion at the cost Innocent lives just to gain a few more miles of territory, the ever increasing amount of traffic passing by my window, the mosques that are three quarter empty most of the time or the usage of a word ,yes can or no cannot; Allah is exclusive for Muslim Malays only. The ever increasing cases of haze and the incessant burning of virgin forests, the exploitation of foreign workers and the abuses of children, the infanticide that is increasing in numbers among unwed mothers... the list can go on  of the woes that this mind is subjected to; how does one remain detached from it all?
I went to the movie last night with my son his cousin and two of their friends, i can safely bet that i was the oldest in the whole theater but i had fun watching Guardians of the Galaxy  If nothing else i enjoyed being lifted momentarily from my bed of so called reality into realm of science fiction on a grand sale of imagination. I might have mentioned before that my oldest brother who was then a teacher at the secondary school or high school I attended was into subscribing to MARVELS comicsin the early 70s and he had the originals of the first issues of most of the characters like The Flash, Fantastic Four, X-Men, Iron Man,The Incredible Hulk, The green Lantern ,among others and my twin including my elder sister were the beneficiary and I had the privileged of reading these after he did. So any movie out of MARVELS will always be a thrill for me, to simply watch the unfolding of an Art piece from its first inception till today on the big screen with the latest in cinematographic genius.  This is the culmination of Collective Art at its best. Movies like Captain America, and Spiderman, X-Men and so on may not be for the old men like me but they make me feel young and fortunate to be there to enjoy it at my age and seeing Stan Lee in person every now and then puts the cream on it.
Yes it is an escape from the so called reality as some would say, that i am escaping from being in the here and now and working out how to pay for my loans and making sure that my daughter's needs are met with now that she has gone back to school, all i can say is the alternative could have been worse, i could be masturbating my frustrations out in the loneliness of my room, or i could be wasting my time away watching silly videos of J.Krishnamurti or Mooji or the likes of Alan Watts or George Galloway and the Pastor McConnell and his Islamophobic diatribes from the pulpit of an Irish Church. Yes my mind is addicted to these and will instantly grab on to the slightest distraction big or small and cling on to it till a series has been made for further viewing. Anyway the kids needed someone to drive them there and back so why not.
All along I have been watching my mind on how it gets sucked into making comments and giving excuses and making up stories about the most insignificant event or the most ordinary guy or the firs thing that the eyes sees, it is like a sponge ans it multiplies and exaggerates more than what is into time consuming thoughts and images until it fizzles out into nothingness to be replaced by a new episode. Sometimes the mindfulness watching practice of Vipassana meditation will help to lessen this but not all of the time as the mind has 'a mind or its own' and will make sure that practice is forgotten. Sometimes a good deep and long breathing exercises helps but it helps to change the channels most of the time. Rarely does it helps to displace the thought movements once and for all. I feel only a rude awakening will do this like the stick on the back when one is falling asleep while sitting in meditation inside the Zendo of a Zen Buddhist monastery. Every now and then one gets kicked in the teeth or a slap on the face or the loss of ones Ipad. These events can sometimes help to make the drastic change happen from one state of mind into another not necessarily for the good, but it helps to make the change permanent.
I can say i cannot be carrying the weight of the world's suffering on my back or join any and every merry making that comes my way just so i can waste my time away from what it is that is worth my living for, I should spend more time sketching or painting or i could be writing away in my Blog just so there is something to read the next day for my readers. But it is by virtue of the Bodhisatva vows, and here i go again justifying my actions through Buddhist practice, that i make this commitments to be in the moment form time to time from episode to episode from breath to breath no matter how banal or insignificant it may be, I am one hundred percent present in the moment even as i am here and now. The first of the Bodhisatva vow is, Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them! So here I am in the middle of it all where two planes have gone down from the skies and all hell will break loose if the different races and religious groups does not learn to be tolerant towards one another. Here i am where the city streets are littered with open burning with the City council's blessings to honor the Hungry Ghosts or whatever while at the same time complaining about the haze and its health effects; it makes little sense but it is as it is. The more your mind is awakened it is said the more it is receptive to the external realm or phenomena. The awakened is a highly sensitive mind that is capable of making connections and rationalizations, creating images and making up stories, the awakened mind is like the sponge that soaks up whatever liquid that comes in it way.
It is because of this that the second vow comes into play, that being; Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them. It is the primary motive of any practice in pacifying the dual thinking mind is to bring it into silence; cease all thoughts or failing which to bring to a minimal of activity. When you meditate long and often enough you will start to realize that yuo are not what your mind has thought you out to be, thoughts are mental illusions which has no hold on you the thinker. With skillful means you will learn how to detach from your thoughts and in time learn to become simply a witness to what arises in your mind as just one illusion after another. being able to identify this rising and falling of thoughts, recognizing what makes them appear and disappear, or how long or how short a duration they took, you will come to have a clear understanding of how you can think all you want and yet remain detached from them. Until comes a time you see them as strangers trying to gain excess into your consciousness and be a part of who you think you are. Thus you are just a by product of a thought process governed by the limiting principles of time and space, of past and present of here or there, in or out, you are trapped in a dual thinking process of black and white, right and wrong; you are never free to be who you truly are, that which is you before your parents conceive of you, your '"Unborn Buddha Nature".To be able to come to a realization of this state of complete enlightenment for even as long as the flash of a lightening is worth a lifetime of experience. To be able to penetrate into the mystery of Being in complete awareness of this totality of what is called life is the goal of every Being in the six realm and the ten directions, this is Liberation, this is Nirvana. The Bodhisatva who has awakened to this state of existence becomes a Buddha and he is no more. His perceived 'self' has merged into the Emptiness of Being, he is gone beyond the concept of the word gone.
However as the vow of the Bodhisatva also includes the complete awakening of all beings along with you,  this will only happen when there is no more voice in the Universe that cries in sorrow or pain, for so long as there is one you are still bound by your vows to liberate this being from its suffering. Hence it is imperative that you make it your practice to fully understand what 'Suffering is.' Not all that seemingly are suffering is truly suffering, for as the Buddha declared, "Suffering Is, None who suffers, Nirvana Is , none who attains it." In this the Bodhisatva is committed to untangle all the mysteries of the laws of Karma and the how to enter the myriads of 'Phenomena' or Dharma Gates; the grist of life, every form of experiences and every confrontation, every challenge and every tests, every thought manifested and un-manifested. 'The Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them." There is no escape from day to day activities, vexations or otherwise no matter how tedious or insignificant they may be, for as long as they have manifested within the range of your consciousness and the mind has attached itself to it, you have to work it out with skillful means of an enlightened mind. You have to come to right understanding of the nature of impermanence of every phenomena as they arise and remain detached through practicing Bare Attention, not adding nor rejecting what is but merely acknowledging of their appearance, how long they stay and how they disappear from your consciousness.
As one progress towards complete understanding of the nature of being the 'Unborn Buddha nature', that which is the essence of who you are you will inadvertently help along those beings who are ready to see through you the path that leads them into liberation and enlightenment ; Free from the shackles of ignorance.Free from the Cyclic existence of Birth, Death and Rebirth. You can say I am through with this game of so called life, I, am no more! When the I is no more what is left is that which Is, I am that, I Am. God is One and only one. When I am no  more, God Is. I believe that in Islam the Sufi calls it arriving at the state called 'Fana'' or non-existent, in order that one becomes one or returns to Allah.
"Inna Lillahi Wa'innalillahi Ra'jiun,"
From Thee i have come to Thee i return.