Jerejak Island revisited

If there is any conservation that aught to be looked into seriously on Jerejak it is the remnants of what used to be the livinjg quarters of the former emplyees of the prison system there.

These dillipidated buildings hidden back from the main path and almost engulfed by thick foliage may seem a sore eye to most but to those with an eye for the natural aesthetic beauty that is man made and nature in syncronicity will find this spot worth their time and money.
The Japanese society took great pride in the opreservation of such similar sites in Japan, such as old and broken down temples or farm huts with its natural surroundings, protecting such photogenetic sitse from man dire need to 'development'.




What can be done with this site is to create a walkway for an easy and safe excess for tourists or visitors alike. This path may include a sand path and stones or pebbles path for the theraputic meditation which alot of people seek in this day and age. Aesthetically and environmental friendly fencing.(bamboo), can be installed to keep people from wandering into the buildings and so forth. Provide all the pertinnet infos including the historical, flaura and fauna and the aesthetic values of the site at the entrance, this is very important as it should set the mood for the walk.

Or, offcourse you could bulldoze it all to the ground and build another SPA facility or a cafe. 'tepok dada tanya selera', it is all in who has the say off course afterall money talks, bullshit walks, if ther is money to be made by development why not. Who gives a hoot about preservation or heritage conservation of some old broken down buildings in the mosquito infested nowhere section of Pulau Jerejak.

Selling coal in Newcastle as the saying goes is what will be the outcome when you upgrade the Island environment and in the process destroying it eco systems and environment and replace it with what is available everywhere else like an added SPS or swimming pool etc. The asset of this island is its natural beauty and the government and all those with vested intrest should dwell into this matter with conservation and preservation in mind, at the end of the day Insha"Allah it will be what makes the money.

Old houses that have been left to nature to are like old bonsai or rock gardens in their sense of beauty. The scene in itself can evoke a sense of 'Aware" as the Japanese or Sabi and Wabi sense of the aesthetic. Nostalgic, the sense of impermanence in life,like viewing the autumn leaves or the fall of Sakura petals to the ground. Most of our children have or will never feel this is we keep getting rid of our natural landscapes.

The Malays are (were?) very sensitivie to the spiriutal context of nature just like the Japanese and most other Asian cultures, sites like these evokes more than mere natural beauties it preserves their sense of 'awesomeness in nature'. Spirits dewll in these kind of environments for them, and in our modern day society these are about the last sanctuaries left for these spirits to exist as man encroaches more and more into their domains.

Heritage preservation is not merely the preservation of old buildings made new but also that which is decadent through time bearing a wealth of historical as well as cultural investments. They preserve as testimonials towards the relationsghip between man an environment physically as well as spritually.

To Those who are artistically inlined these sites are a source of knowledge in their search for artistic expression. For nature lovers the flora and fauna surrounding the area is a gold mine.

Penang island itself is slowly but surely running out of such spaces due to development or privately owned thus depriving excess to the general public, it is imperative that such sites should be placed among the sites that we strive to conserve for the future generation.

Home is Where the Sea and Jungle Is...

On the first day of my return to Penang I took my children and one of their cousins to the latest Star Trek movie at Prangin Mall. This has always been our family family thing to do as we like zillions of others on the face of this planet like to go to the movies together. The same night I found myself not able to sleep a wink till morning, Masha'Allah! problem! So I thought to myself that I need to chill out or I will have a nervous breakdown or loose my cool. For the rest of the day I definitely will need to find a hole to crawl into and pass out. Where in Penang could I go to where I can find peace and quiet,

Pulau Jerejak!

So I threw a change of cloaths into my duffle bag and some art materials and drove to the Ferry Terminal where I used to work and boarded the ferry boat (sampan) and headed for the "Forgotten Isle". While the dawn was slowly creeping into the skies with dark grey clouds ready to burst with rain I took a walk along the beach on Jerejak Island, with Leekhai's camera slung over my shoulder. My intention was to have a cup of Nescafe at the Babariba Cafe where the locals hang out along the way but it was not yet open. So I kept on walking my meditation walk allowing myself to drift into the environment around me,centering.

A soon as there was enough light I started taking pictures utill it started to pour. I took shelter form the rain by creeping into a clump of trees by the beach where i found a tarp washed in from the sea and used it as my raincoat. I was most concern about the camera getting wet but I nmanaged to sit out the rain among rocks and floatsam from the sea while my mind began to settle into the here and now.

I decided to return when the rain ceased and on the way bakc stopped at the cafe and had my nescafe and mee goreng. The family running the place all knew me from the days of my employment with Jerejak resort and SPA. I felt at home and spent my morning answering questions as to how i was, where I have been to and how my family is and so on.

The morning walk along the rain drenched beach of Jerejak was just the cup of nescafe i needed to clear away the cobwebs in my head and get my self back on track into creativity. Sitting and chatting with the simple folks in the coffee shop was what the shaman ordered to anchor my soul from all the activities of the past few weeks in Dubai,. Welcome back to yet another reality.

I decided to stay at the resort for the day as I needed the sleep and the quiet and away from my so called responsibilites.

I needed to recuperate from yet another journey to find out, the journey to the Sea of Sand and blazing sun.

I needed to file away all the events and experiences I have had encountering my number one son 'the pilot' whom I have not seen for the past fifteen years. My second son from Switzerland who I found that I had a son when he was already seventeen.

I needed to needed to step back and take another closer look at my two younger children and what to do with them now that they are fnishing their secondary school and their fate with the residency issue, will they ever be accepted to become malaysian citizens or will they remain citizens of the US in name only.

This is what the Buddhist practicioners call taking a retreat. A retreat from the burdens of life, to catch a breath and be prepared to ride the next wave when it comes.

Dubai Final Entry Before Bye bye

Took a walk to the Mall of Emerates to se if I could buy something for my kids but found myself wandering around till me feet could take no more and all I got was an Art Book of the most famous Artist from the Emerates. The book is called The Colors of My Life and the Artist is Abdul Qader Al Rais. Born in Dubai in 1951 he was raised in Kuwait and was self taught as an artist. I stumbled upon his book while looking for something about Dubai to take with me but most of the books on the display stand did not apeal to my taste... too much commercialism and tacky trick shots for aesthetic taste. This will be a good companion for me to be with while on my flight home.

Almost an hour to go before i leave this building The Manafel Apartments where now there are now four murals of mine painted in four living rooms of four Emerates Airlines Pilots. Not bad for a short visit even if it means overstaying in the country with subconcious intention. But this time the Immigration department in Dubai next month in Malaysia, I am getting use to it.

What of Dubai? The Emerates Mall which I can see right tis minute from where i seat is what Dubai will one day become, one Huge Mega Mall of a City. You can everything and anything under the sun here at a price and the Maktoum foresaw this in his vision perhaps in preparation for the event that the State runs out of oil. The dust from the desert and the construction sites will soo settle down for Dubai, InSha'Allah, and when the wheel of economics rolls again globally, this city will be ready to play the Supermarket of the World. It is indeed a great vision and an even greater investment into the future for a country that depends on one source of income alone, petroleum. Will it succeed? Only time can tell and the stability of the region.

Bathtub Blues

Who or What is an Artist?

When you see an artist at your door kick his butt, get rid of him,
Tell him to get a job.
When your sons and daughters decide to take up art in school,
Take them out back and shoot them, put them out of their miseries.
Dont leave your wealth and hard earned fotunes to to the artist in your family,
He will only fritter it all away on senseless dreams.
Dont marry your sons and daughters to an artist,
He has little to offer but only his broken dreams and messed up soul.
The artist is the guy who lay submerged in the bathtub listening to his heart beat,
For lack of better things to do.
He is the guy who sits on the Zafu (cushion) for hours on end,
pretending that he is in touch with his Maker.
He is the guy who sheds his tears or stops his beating heart,
Upon watching, listening or seeing experiencing an act that uplifts the human spirit.
He is the guy who turns away in sorrow and shame when injustice is being committed,
And knowing that it is beyond his lot to do anything about it.
He is the guy whose thirst for knowledge knows no bounds of physical, cultural or spiritual,
No stone is left unturn nor muddy waters left untouched.
He is the guy who believes himself a seeker of truth,
Even when truth eludes him in this world of maya.
He is not a scientist or a doctor, an engineer or a fortune teller, a brick layer or a carpenter,
He is not a philosopher or a poet a fisherman or farmer, he is all of these and then some.
He is not a vision seekr or a dream maker,
Nor is he the guy who can paint the ceilings of the Sistine Chapel create the Waves of Nakagawa,
He is all of these, Insha'Allah, and his journey is only beginning.
His is a journey of self discovery, a vision quest towards discovering,
Who or What the hell is an artist.


That moves the human spirit

And this too will pass...

A Sufi tale by Idris Shah

The Sultan was depressed and not knowing what to do about his bouts of depression called upon his wise men to consult. None of these men could come with a solution to this predicament. They could not give the Sultan any advice as to how he could overcome his ups and down and find peace with himself. So off they went to look fortheone person they all agreed might have the answer, the ascetic Jallaludin.
They found the Jallaludin sitting under a palm tree where he had always been found loitering around doing nothing sometimes talking to himself or the small plants and insects around him. The wise men put the Sultan's predicament before him and asked if he could help to elivate the ruler's suffering. Jallaludin pondered upon this request and could not come up with an immediate answer but told the men to return in three days and he will provide them with a solution.
Three days went by and the wise men returned and appraoched Jallaludin at his usual hangout. Well what have you come up with o'wise one they asked. Jallaludin handed them a ring he had forged and told them what to do with it. The wise men returned to the palace and reported to the Sultan of what had transpired and handed him the ring with the instructions given by the ascetic sufi. Your highness they told the Sultan please wear this ring and whenever you feel most elated and joyous remove it and read the inscription written inside and whenever you feel most sad and depressed about something do the same.
The Sultan took the ring and put it on his finger not giving it a second thought. Sometime later while he was feeling very low and depressed the Sultan remebered the ring, took it off and read the inscription that Jallaludin had writtten...and this too will pass... it read. The Sultan felt a sense of relief from being reminded that nothing last forever, the good as well as the not so good.
Thus is the short story written by the great story teller Idris Shah more or less that i remember having read many years ago.

Today I discovered that i had overstayed in Dubai for more than twelve days and most probably have to pay the penalty fine of 100dirham a day and 200dm on the first day! Alhamdullilah! Allah knows best when to put an end to a good time and move on to the next episode. I was a little upset at myself for a while there for being so careless about small things like checking my passport for due dates and so forth but after looking into my heart and talking to my Maker I felt a whole lot better accepting what is as yet another blessing in disguise. I may have to pay up to 1500dirham in fine big deal considering the things i have been able to enjoy here with my two sons and the amount of work i have created and earning more than enough to cover the cost. Had i been too cautious most of what had transpired would not have been as relaxed and due to pressure for time.

The Naz would not have the same opinion most probably but hell what can I say I am going sixty and at my age i am entitled to making a few errors here and there my clock is ticking and who knows how or what is going to grab me sooner or latter. These last few weeks being with my son have made up for all those years i had missed him and the bonus, of missing his younger brother the son I never knew i had till he was seventeen years of age. Timo incidentally just called from Zurich Airport to tell me that he had arrived safely and now taking the train to where he lives.

Alhamdullilah! Alhamdullilah! Thank You Lord for these small favors You have granted me even as You know i hardly deserve any of it. I have transgressed my religion most of my life forgetting and even was even at times so arrogant and defiant towards You. Yet You have made things happen for me often enough that I have no way of expressing my feelings but to say thank You! I love You from the bottom of my heart and let this writing bear witness of this moment of my profess and those who read it will testify to this. Protect me from any more deviations from this moment of surrender, Lord for I do not feel like i have anymore energy to take the challenges. Allow my death in peace and in Thy service and allow no more temptations to delude my mind for it has bee returned to You. Protect me O'Lord from regressions and suppressions and oppressions of tis life even if it means having to yank my soul out of this body to prevent them, it too has been surrendered to You... Inna Lillah Wa' Inna Lillah... from You I have come to You I return. Like the masters before me, I crave not nor fear the fires of Hell or the comforts of Heaven, I too only crave to return to You, my Creator my Home, take me as one of them who has walked through the Siratalmustaqin to the other side and delivered into Your Being.

I, am No More...

The Last Pow Wow with Timo

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

Rudyard Kipling

It is 4am. and Timo is working on my next project painting a scene of a Golf Course in Atlanta, the thirteenth green they say, which was requested by Traverse, the guy who now owns my Fall mountain scene mural on his living room wall downstairs. Tomorrow he leaves for Switzerland after having stayed here for a week or so and hanging out with his dad and older brother who he never met before. We sat out on the the balcony the pasrt hour or so having a father and son talk which mostly amounted to my telling him my cock and bull stories of my past and my philosophy in life. After having exhausted myself from playing the all knowing wise old man, Lukman giving his son advice on life, Timo told me to read the poem above by Kipling cause he said thats for you, dad. He got it off the internet for me to read it and hey what can you say, kids these days, you will never figure out what they know or dont can you? A twenty three year old today is a far cry from a 23 year old of my years and I say this with a little pride for my son, indeed a chip of the old block!

Eleanor (El) left for New York in the middle of the night and The Naz left for Hong Kong around five this morning and it is almost noon and i just said my farewell to Timo who is on his way back to Switzerland, my kids are scattered all over the world again! It is said that if you cling on to what you love they will leave you but if you allow them the freedom to fly away from you they return. If life for me seem simple and cozy it is just an illusion and an optimistic one at that painted just so I could feel some sense of triumph, the fact that my present wife is vegetating and possibly dieing somewhere in an Illinois nursing home is vivid on my mind and the fact that the Malaysian Government is still treating my two children there like they are pariahs that dont belong after ten years of growing up in the country which I call home is still a thorn in my side and that has always been all these while that no man can share the pain except me. These are perhaps Allah's final cut for me in this life despite all the good graces i have received I am still carrying this Albatroses tied around my neck lest i forget of whaT CAN OR CANNOT GO WRONG! (capitals accidentally typed in!).

Alhamdullilah! Thank you Lord for thy infinite compassion is laying these obstacles along the path to test my patience and endurance and still not doubt Thy infinite Mercy. The more i find blocks and obstructions in my path the more I appreciate the beauty in my believe in the Infitnite Creator, sounds downright corny? You will have to walk in my shoes for i am the man who used to point my middle finger up at the sky when I was young, ever so pissed off at the world and looking for someone or something to lay the blames on,(as accused ealier by an anonimous Malay in my blog who also called me a Malay without identity). It took a long time and alot of eye openers to awaken me from my dellusions and most of it I cannot even write about for shame or redicule, but now as I am about to turn sixty my awareness is gradually emerging from the dark paths that I had treaded and the dim light is beginning to enlighten my experiences.

My children from three different mothers have been a source of beaken for me as I worry of their life and what lies in store for them into the future. The last few weeks living with my eldest has been yet another whack upon my conciousness as to how buried i have become into the kingdom of doom and gloom that i forgot what it is to have simple fun, what it is to be angry and to cry it out, to feel weak and helpless and yet to respected and loved without conditions. I love all my children and Insha'Allah if one or two more pops up in the email to tell me hey Dad, remember when you were here and there and you metup with so and so? Well Hellooo, I am your daughter!, No, I dont want anything from you just to get to know my father. And I would say Alright! Welcome to the Bahari Clan!

Dragon Flies

The mural of dragon flies was done in one os the apartments on the 42nd.? floor of the Millenium Tower in downtown Dubai.

It was not too invovlved of a painting and did not take too long to complete as the owners wanted just dragon flies and nothing more all over their walls.

I spent the afternoon with my son the Naz, was done by night fall. The owners Chris and Amy loved their dragon flies and I am happy that I have two more happy and satisfied customers.

The Dunes Bashing

Allahu Akhbar! God is indeed great was the feeling felt when I stood outside in the heat and the sea of sand around me. Imagining beneath all the sand is oil the wealth of the nation, I now have a better understanding of what Ibni Arabi meant when he uttered that "the God you worship is beneath my feet, he was not only refering to the pot of gold coins they years later found buried in the sand at the spot where he stood but he might as well be referring to the oild which would be discovered hundreds of years later. The Muslims of his time executed Arabi for his blasphemous remark however today they would have elected him the President,

At last I am really in the desert! My son Timo and I took a trip with the 'Arabian Nights' Tour group which involved a drive thought the desert in the 'Modern day Camels', the Land Cruiser. The Naz insisted that we do this trip and we were glad we did it as it was an experience like no other for anyone who has never been in the desert of the Middle East before.

The drive itself was as harrowing an experience in driving as one could imagine as we slipped and slided through the sand up and down the dunes at the mercy of our driver and owner of the company, Amir. He drove single handedly like he was going to the super market while talking to his buddy on the cellphone, while i was holding on to the seat for my dear life half expecting the car to roll over.

Driving in the sand was like driving in the snow except that sand has better grip than snow. The drivers would deflate the tyres to a certain pressure before they take the drive as this would stabalize the car better.

It was quite a sight to see a convoy of Land Cruisers racing through the Dunes loaded with frightened tourists and at the mercy of a sadistic Emarati drivers. We arrived at our destination late in th evening to be greeted by a bunch of camels racing after their owners in a pickup truck. It was an added bonus for us to be able to be up close with these awesome creatures, this is their country.

Towards the night we were offered various entertainment including a belly dancing performance and a great BBQ cookout ala Dubai.

Like their counterparts everywhere in the world the tour operators, the BBQ pit men, the guy at the souvenir stand, the hip long haired young stud who has crossed the cultural barriers from being a Desert Beduin to a cool western kick ass punk, all had an attitude towards tourists like us. We are the idiots who are there to be taken care off with all curtersies and respect due, we paid for it but that is as far as it goes. Going the extra mile is for the boss or the owner and bending backwards to bew extra friendly would be too much to ask for and this is as I said, common everywhere in the world of resorts and other hospitality industries. I am talking from experience of having been involved in a few as an employee.

It was also great to meet up with the locals especially Amir out driver and host who was a vast source of information with regards to the local culture and history and the who is who and owns what in Dubai. According to Amir almost 70 percent of the locals in Dubai can trace their ancestery back to Southern Iran. Like in most countries, the drop outs of society those who cant make it in life for lack of education or simply poor can join the army and get a good steady income. Another common topic of conversation in and around Dubai is the price tag of acquiring 'cool' number plates for one's car. The lesser the digits the more expansive off course and the Royal family has their own set of numbers allocated like in most other countries where who is who means alot more than who knows what. The plates can be bought at auctions and the price can be as high as thousands of dollars for the three digits. If I had my way I would get the longest and most difficult number to read on my vehicle just in case I have to outrun the law, my adversaries or my in laws. Only a fool would want his vehicle easily recognized on a public road or in the parking lot where an unhappy customer can walk alongside it with a key in his hand and bad intentions or revenge in his mind. Ahh what we would do in the name of the all mighty ego!!

According to Amir, our host camels have a strong sense of 'revenge' when they are being consistantly abused. Not unlike the elephants I thought to myself.The animal was known to have killed its master after being abused for a long period of time. There are many names given to camels in the Arabic language which coincides with their growing up where each stage from an infant to adulthood they are known by different names. They would eat anything including plastic wrappers and thus are kept away from garbage dumps.

Having henna painted on your skin is another of the freebies that is offered at the camp.

The delicious dinner consisted of rice and dal curry with beans. Chicken kebeb on sticks and BBQ minced beef. Also included were the typical Middle Eastern food like the felafel and homus dip. Everyone were stuffed by the time we left the place and not before we had a taste of the shisha or water pipe while more stories were told of the th life in the desert.

My 5th Mural

Proud owner of "The Fall" standing before the painting in his living room. Awesome! was his immediate remark and looks like I am really standing with the mountains behind me after he looked at the picture from the camera. Not bad if i may say so myself and it was fun doing it tooo!!

After words got around that there is a Malaysian Artist running around the building and painting on the walls in the living rooms at the Al Manazel, I was again commisioned to do yet another wall on the 4th floor. The owner another Emerate Pilot wants something form his home scene in the US. He is from Colorado and wanted a fall scene of mountains and lakes.


I got some help this time from my son Timo who seem to have the talent for it and enjoyed painting just like his dad. He seemd confident at it as i sat and watched and came up with a well drawn mountain range much as u had expected if I had done it myself only i was a little slowere because of getting sore in my arms and back.

The Naz is now the 'manager' making sure his dad got enough works lined up for the future, and quite good at it too. If it all works out I might have something going here for my Art as a source of lucrative income. Although I charge the works relatively very cheap I can still make it a go once i break into the Dubai art scene. It is a matter of time and connections or advertisement through word of mouth.

Again I raise my heart towrds my Maker and in all humility say Alhamdullilah!! Thank you Ya Karim, Lord for Your bounty comes from sources that I never dreamed of as always, InSha'Allah!.

My Son arrived the other day, he came to the world..

If anyone spots this kid running around in the airport terminal do tell him his dad is looking for him.

My Swiss boy arrives today and i am both anxious and excited wondering what he looks like. What a life Bahari! Look what you have got yourself into. Dont even have any idea what your son looks like and he is 23 already!

Well chill out Dude! Everyone makes mistakes only some makes em bigger than others.

So, what do you do when you have an adult kid on your hand? Just put him to work, nothing heals the soul better than pure ordinary work.

When The Buddha Kicks back and relax

Who's the the lucky man? The naz decided to take Eli and i for a Thai dinner at the Madinat whre you have to take a boat to get to the restaurant. I wondered if they ever had guests falling over and having to be rescued out of the waters before they got to the place, what with all the drinking and so on.

The best deep fried shrimp wrapped in noodles was something out of this world and the rest was history. When you pay a price for the evening you expect the best and no less and the services at the Pat Thai Restaurant at the Jumeirah Madinat lived up to its standard in all respect, like four thumbs up for good food and dining.

Yep it is hard to digest that this is a scene from Dubai. One would think that i was in Bangkok or Chengmai. I got to watch out for those long nails!

But this is what the maktoum must have in mind when he decided that Dubai serves nothing but the best even if it is from foreign cultures. Most of the employees except for the chefs were Philipinos I found out but they were as equally charming and one could never tell the difference if they were Thais or not.

Oh what a life it is! Not too long ago I had to give up my lodging because I could not pay the rent in Penang. I was forced to beg and borrow from friends and relatives just to make sure my daughter had some money for her school needs and dumped my son Karim with his auntie and marissa with yet another, but.. hey such is the Buddha once said such Is. I am the elegant beggar a man with nothing to show for as so called successful men goes but I glad that I am able to enjoy life every once in a while and this makes it twice if not ten times more relishing than if I had been wealthy myself.

If all these are illusions then so be it as this ttoo will pass...but in the meantime, this Buddha is going to soak it all in with gusto! Three cheers for the needy and for the rich for it is all relative and a matter of being able to go with the flow and ride the waves of success and defeat without drowning in the process.

A Taste of culture

One of the sources of income in the Dubai Emerates region was pearl diving. Most of the pearl divers lived along the coast and were also fishermen when not diving for pearls. The local used to live a simple life with most of their homes built out of tatched reeds and strips of wood barks. most are double rooms with a varandah set oustside for guests to sit and shoot the breeze. I am at the "Creek" visiting the cultural exposition center for the benifit of visitors to have a taste of what was Dubai like not too long ago.