Do I believe in Miracles? I know miracles are attracted to me.

 Am I a Magnet to miracles? Do miracles happen to me all the time? Do I need miracles to happen all the time in my life? Do I even deserve to have miracles happen to me when all I  have been is but a repentant sinner, a wrongdoer, a charlatan at the best!; And, I am not even good at it! I am sitting in my towel munching wasabi-coated nuts while making this post, should I go and take a warm shower? It helps to loosen the aches and pains, I will all in good time. I wish to dwell a little upon 'Miracles' in my life. I have to admit right off the bat that I have lived a miraculous life and am eternally grateful to my Creator, my Divine Source, my Supreme Soul, Allah aza wa jalla! Only He manifests miracles in my existence and only His will manifests miracles. I am but a receiver of His gifts and yes I live a very miraculous life thanks to little and large miracles that have transpired in my life I am here making this miracle happen, this sharing of a journey of one seeker to another, one brother to another, one sister to another to keep an ongoing 'in touch' with the Universe Collective Consciousness, kind of movement going among the awakened and aware, let's create a miracle! Let us dream big and create a sanctuary for the displaced children of the war and conflict worldwide, calling it Noah's Ark of Lost Souls. We have the means and the ways all we need is the 'Will Power " to take it into our hands and create, make manifest our intention, let it be known that Miracles do Happen! And we can make it happen as ordained to us by our Maker, mine and yours no matter the color He comes in. 

                                 The Daruma Doll, Why did Bodhi Dharma come to the East?

In human history, we have never needed miracles more than we do today.  We are sitting at the edge of a precipice looking at a Nuclear Disaster about to be unleashed before us. The miracle is that most of us are cool and calm about it, like it all is as it is meant to be and there is so little that we can do, our planet is slowly but surely crumbling before our eyes and we are at a loss. What can I do? I am willing to take on a Mega Miracle Project somewhere on the East Coast of Terengganu, will you join my train, my  DC Freedom Train. So ask yourselves can you help make miracles happen in your lifetime! How far are you willing to let your mind imagine in the manifesting of this imagination this "dream," All I ask is at least nudge me in the right direction whenever you see me drifting here and there, help me set the course. To get even a response from my readers at this moment is a miracle for me, who would really care, much less lend a hand in easing the way. I have to ask. I am telling you of my Desire my dream, my miracle that is happening. Asking is part of the 'ritual', the dance of the movement, one has to ask, what do I need? Not what I want but what I need. What do I need to make a miracle happen from scratch? I have no bank account to my name and I have no pension or any source of income right at the moment so how do I wish to build an institution for Displaced Children? Indeed, let's pray for a Miracle! Better yet let us collectively create one. If we all embrace the law that we are potentially magnets for miracles then collectively we form a pretty powerful magnetic force that could shift the very foundation of this planet itself. However that is not our original intention, our intention is to set up my studio and gallery first as a base camp. 

                                                        The Doll within, the doll.

The journey of a thousand miles begins here, and now I am on my way to enter the Gateless gate and explore what lies beyond. I would love to hear what others have to say about my already fulfilled intention, my already realized vision of setting up an Art Studio cum Gallery and later metamorphosing into an institute for Displaced Children. We will even ask Elon Musk if he would chip in for the cause. If worse has happened, why not dream big? I say, "If you want to smell good, call Elon!" At the end of the day, as the old saying goes, 'Money talks and Bulllshit walks!"Where money is concerned no man has more than Elon! If I keep on knocking on his door he just might answer and unleash a wrath of wealth on my project! I can imagine as far-out a story as I want to because it is all the story that makes sense to me right now. I would ensure all the children are trained in AI and the latest technology has to offer. These will be the vanguard of the future generation of survivors who will lead humanity out of the mud hole we find ourselves in today. This message will never get to his ear but I trust the Universe will get in touch with Him sooner than later; it is done! Am I crying for the moon? No, I am not! What I am asking the Universe, God, Allah a.w.j., is short of a Supreme Miracle to happen simply because that is what I desire and what I intend to happen. Help me if you can but stand not in my way if you choose not to. 

                                                 Wrapped within the is what is the without.

Someday, they will make a movie out of all these. Yes, there are so many stories within stories in this long and tedious Blog that not turning it into an epic saga would be tantamount to sacrilege. This is the path of the Cheeseburger Buddha, where the East melted into the West and the West twisted and turned into the East within and without. This is where it all boils down to the epic story of a journey of faith and self-discovery, a journey of never-ending stories. This story began in the mangrove swamp where one evening a pair of twins were born and one was only expected; I was the second. In the darkness where there was no electricity my Auntie who was also a midwife delivered a twin when she had just had a son of her own a week earlier. Now that was a miracle! Often later in my life reminded me that I could have drowned in my mother's blood has she had not realized that there was another one waiting to come out, she had thought my mother was hemorrhaging. To spare my parents the grief of having an extra mouth to feed, I was given up for adoption by my mother's younger brother; my Uncle. Henceforth began my childhood life being raised estranged from my immediate family, especially my twin brother. The rest is written in the Blog in more detail all in the effort to get the story right.  

                                   Leave it up to the Japanese to create such exquisite beauty

 

Where to Begin to tell a Story of how Great a Life can Be!

 There have been many affirmations that I have adhered to in the course of my journey toward self-discovery, self-awareness, and so forth. They came from words spoken to me by my teachers and friends, by my mother and father, and the one that I had held the longest and practiced with faith and diligence is the one that I had found in the book called "The Masterkey," an inspirational book about life and how to navigate through it by Frank Haarnel and this was when I first left Malaysia with my wife and son. It became my Bible and from this affirmation, I now am beginning to feel the fruition of its merits. It is a fine feeling of lightness when your breath becomes synchronized with what is within and without. It is the feeling of complete alignment with the rest of Humanity and the Universe. I feel like a fool who just woke up to find himself a bigger fool. This is the paradox, this is the mirror, this is the gateless gate! This is where it all happens and other is nothing that needs to be done other than accept and surrender. The lines that were written are as follows...

I Am Whole! Complete and Perfect,                                                                                                                Strong and Powerful, Loving and Compassionate,                                                                                            Harmonious and Happy: I can do what I will to do!                                                                                          InshaAllah! God Willing.!

The Master Key System is a personal development book by Charles F. Haanel that was originally published as a 24-week correspondence course in 1912, and then in book form in 1916.^[1] The ideas it describes and explains come mostly from New Thought philosophy. It was one of the main sources of inspiration for Rhonda Byrne's film and book The Secret (2006).

This affirmation has been with me since I arrived in the United States with my wife and son in 1973-4. Unknowingly, it has kept me alive through thick and thin. A few weeks ago, while Listening to a Neville Goddard video on a similar subject, I noticed that the first affirmation he quoted was exactly this same affirmation, almost word for word. I sent chills down my spine in the middle of the night sitting outside of my apartment enjoying the cool quiet night, I felt a shockwave of energy fly through me. I have found my 'Master key!" My gratefulness towards my Lord and Creator for having this momentary realization is paramount, Alhambullilah! Thank You, Lord! I see it now Your gift is impeccable in timing and placement. I am thankful even for this instant of being able to express my inner feelings as I am presently doing is short of a miracle and again Alhamdullilah, Thank You, Lord! It took years of persistence and stubbornness for me to be awakened by the moment I heard the affirmation being mentioned on Neville Goddard's Podcast. I have been saying it, but not fully absorbed into what I was saying, so it takes time to mature; I lack faith in who I am/was. I was destined to take the walk on the wild side, the road less traveled, and the never-ending story of how I have come to be who I am.               "I am Whole, Complete, and Perfect!" hang on to that one line, one Koan, one Mantra,                                in your belly and find out what it means in truth! Until you discover the truth it will keep your belly warm with the burning sensation like you hold a fireball in your belly and it threatens to explode unless you find the key to release its pressure. And the key is at your fingertip, has always been and you knew it not. You were not aware of your own hidden potential, with all the possibilities presented before you what will you do with it? What is my original intention? 

In the video, Neville instead of saying, "I can do what I want to do," said" I can be who I want to Be', which I like better and will adopt in my future practice. I will accept my lines better to be constantly corrected by this new program for checking my writing. Soon if I keep it up I will lose my own train of thought, not mean to be ungrateful but sometimes Self - independence matters. These lines were memorized and repeated in my mind until I became synchronized with its energy and essence, it hit me like thunder rumbling into the distance. I am The Universe! I am the eternal and formless consciousness of Being and am manifesting my existential nature in this human form; I am Who I am. I say this with utter commitment and faith that I stand by it as my 'Dharma Position.' The ground of  Primordial Being upon which I stand for each and every commitment I make henceforth. 

There are many other affirmations I picked up as I grew older and I began sewing them together like a tapestry of stories and songs, I became addicted to acquiring knowledge and seeking wisdom, I became obsessed even, and through these moments of ignorance, I lost my way every so often finding myself on the other side of light/goodness. In its earlier stages, my actions were automatically drawn by the desire to have, to acquire to possess all for the sake of feeling safe and protected. I played it safe so to speak, I was not immersed totally in my commitment but merely was still window shopping for answers. Now it is different, I am doing what I want to do, Being who I want to Be and it all comes down to simply Being Who I am at this moment in space and time...Where Do I Begin???

              

What is is the result of what was and what has been; Experience Life.

 If I were to start a fundraiser, I would need to set up a proper procedure and justify my actions. As it involves money, and I believe loads of it would be pouring in from all over the world, I will need all the help I can get to set up a proper management committee to run the fiscal side of my venture. Namely, me! My daughter, perhaps,, Ben Ronjen, and maybe Joan Cheong Ronjen. When I look at it as an idea, I feel like it is much too large an idea for me to undertake at my age, that is not a good assumption to make and in the past, it has been my self-defeatist attitude like this that stops me short of claiming my place in fulfilling my dreams. I am in no hurry to get there as within me I am already there, my wishes and desires are being fully rewarded sometimes in no small ways. I have great faith in the fact that I am one of the chosen ones to carry out the Will of My Lord. I am the manifestation of His Compassion and Mercy and His Loving Grace, I am That I am. I am here after a long and tedious journey of this life for the past 75 years and now am claiming my final desire to be made a reality. I am looking for my fellow travelers, seekers, healers, and Bodhisattvas to come to my aid in making this dream a reality in the shortest of time and the most miraculous fashion; I am asking you to make it happen! The House of Hope, perhaps this is a good name for the facility. Reminds me of Hope Cottage on top of the hill at Green Gulch Farm built by the owner and Rancher Mr. Wheelwright for his wife. When you sit at Hope Cottage you will be facing the whole Grreen Gulch Valley leading to the Pacific Ocean ending at Muir Beach. I spent almost two years of my life as a Zen-practicing student at the Green Dragon Zen Community.

 

          This young lady from Nova Scotia, Canada raised nine boys and adopted me to be number ten.                She asked me to name my daughter after her name Estelle, Marissa Estelle Bahari.

A friend who was like a brother to me at the Zen Temple once warned me to keep a good reputation, or it would come back to bite me. I failed to take his advice and at the end of the day I was ceremoniously kicked out of the Zen Community for being a 'Disrupter'. Yes, my past if I were to dwell on it is full of stories,  some good some too bitter to swallow. I have dwelled upon my past very thoroughly ever since I started keeping my journals and posting this Blog. I stopped beating myself over the head for all the errors I had committed it does no good except keep me in a loop of negative emotions. Today I reemphasize my standing, my Dharma position as who I perceive myself to be bereft of all the past baggage and free from any mental clingings, I declare myself fully surrendered to the will of my Maker, my Lord, Allah s.w.t. There is not a breath I take that is not of His manifestation of the life in me. I am His humble servant bidding His desire. I am His witness. I have walked the spiritual path for most of my life as I was exposed to all manner of religious contempt and persecution due to my religious upbringing. I was born Muslim as both my parents were converted to Islam and then I was immediately given up for adoption by my uncle who raised me as a Buddhist for the first twelve years of my life. Read it in more detail somewhere in my Blog. It has been one of my favorite narratives whenever I justify myself.

           My close friend and Zen Instructor Ed Brown, like me, was also removed from the San Francisco             Zen Community. I wonder if he is still singing, 'Rudy toot toot to the Moon.'

Indeed I write repetitiously to keep reminding myself to stay the moment and accept being who I am it is my therapeutic way of assuming my ultimate Dharma Position while on this plane of existence and I am enjoying it very much; it is almost like talking to God and listening to Him. Knowing He is present at every breath I take and every move I make, La haula wala kuata illa billa aliul azim. I surrender my heart and soul unto His command as I take my next step towards my final destiny. I am but a manifestation of my higher self in His Image; for I was created in His Image. With this sense of elatedness in me I intend to fulfill a dream I have been fostering to manifest it into a reality before I move on to the other shore and leave all these behind me. This will be my answer to the Calls of Gaza and all the other conflict-ridden nations. My first intention is to set up my own Studio, a simple Malay-type house close to the Beach that will be renovated into an exquisite studio gallery where I can create and teach art and entertain friends. From then on the intention/plan is to expand the whole idea into an institution like an art school but not quite, more like a home for "Displaced Children" from local as well as foreign kids. Old man Lao Tzu said, "The journey of a thousand Li (miles) begins with the first step," Will you walk with me?

We had many good friends while living in San Francisco, I wonder what becomes of David and Diane.

Will you become part of my Dream?

 Looking ahead, I feel much in tune with the man I had envisioned myself growing into in my elderly age. I feel the energy within me driving my physical body with a very subtle force at every task I undertake, every action I take,, and the balance of rest and motion that happens now more than usual. Sometimes it is daunting if not scary that I am seeing myself moving with so much ease and as though the Universe itself is keeping my routes open and my path enlightened. I am still sidetracked every now and then, drifting from one roadside attraction to another, I find that I am more and more aware of these moments in my mind and I can delete these negative thoughts and limiting assumptions or at least brush them aside, I feel more focused in my daily commitments, the routine I have created for me to perform on the daily basis, like cooking and cleaning, laundry and such; I have been a single father for the last 10 years and I am the father and the mother to my two children. I always believe that I teach best by my own performances and that means teaching by example. Now I feel very close to both Karim and Marissa, I am more confident to leave them for a while to fulfill my vision of having my own Art Studio and Gallery somewhere along the East Coast. In my entire career as an artist, I have never owned my own personal studio or gallery mostly because I move around too much. The same with owning a house, I doubt that I will or can afford one even if I want to, but, who knows, things are happening like small miracles, weird synchronicities, and I feel it is that time when I put my foot down and establish my own space. InshaAllah! 

I know and am saddened by the fact that somewhere in the Gaza Strip children are facing death day in and day out and realistically I feel helpless and in despair. However, I will do what I can for the children in the kampong where I will raise my studio and gallery. I am more than qualified to do what I aspire to, and it is a most productive endeavor for one who will soon leave the scene; I would love to leave a legacy no matter small or insignificant that has a positive impact on one or two children. The studio will be where I will wrap up my journey as an artist. Whatever form that will take is yet to be revealed to me and I am in no hurry to get back into making artwork. It would be a bucket dream to be able to set up a Printmaking Shop. It will start with small attainable tasks like looking for the perfect site where it is located near the sea and the main road. Abandoned homes that might be rented and renovated with a little help from my friends and family. I know it will cause a lot of concern from my brothers and sisters, this I will have to resolve in time, to convince them that I will not burden them in any way. They each have their own pots to stir and I will avoid getting them involved unless they volunteer the help. 

Hence the Fundraising Drive that I am setting in motion that I hope will manifest some cash flow for me to survive while running around looking for the location of my future Art Studio and Gallery. So I ask all those who read this post and are touched by the plea I am making to make a contribution towards this Fund drive, to help me accomplish my desire to bring this journey to a positive and productive end. In time I will have my daughter set up the process for this fundraising. My children will be making sure that I am well provided in the meantime as they have been doing for the past eight years. and in extreme cases, there are two more living abroad that would not let this old man get knocked around too much. It is my assumption that help will materialize from somewhere and the most unlikely sources. This I have come to accept as a fact. I am confident in what I am doing and never felt more so than I am now and I feel indeed like I have already succeeded, it is in my imagination to achieve this goal. 

Pipe dream or not, I have smoked the pipe and I am hooked on moving forward into the next dimension, into a higher more increased dimension of my existence before it all comes to pieces. I have always been accused of being a dreamer by my teachers and elders as I was maturing at my age. I had great teachers as I was growing up and it is in their name and honor that I spend this moment making this claim to myself at 4:30am. while listening to my son snoring on the sofa behind me. He passed out after a long battle of hacking and killing the God of War video game. It helps to be reminded that another soul is breathing in the room, it means I am alive. So what?! So I am just here to troll, whatever that means, simply because I have insomnia and make believe that I am programmed to wake up at around three in the morning and make my entries into this lengthy Blog; it has become an obsession, a habit, a routine and I spend my early mornings telling stories, personal stories, friendships and soul mates, gurus and teachers and all the rest of them. Mind and memories, the past that clings to this future to this moment, without memories our minds would go insane or so we think. We assume we know. We hide behind the truth even when it is being yelled out so loud in our heads, still, we hide our heads buried in the sand. How can I be responsible for the atrocities being committed in Gaza and the rest of the war-torn countries! I would like to create a facility where I can provide a comfortable space for giving the Children from these countries a retreat. A Rehabilitation School for Displaced Children.

The Last Resort will be like a foster home for refugees or displaced children, where they will be cared for by professionals who have time and compassion to offer in the service of humanity instead of asking, "Oh, but what can I do?" I would call my establishment the 'Last Resort'. This is the name Ben and I came out with after taking a walk on the wild side one day. Letting our imagination run free we came upon the idea of me moving to the East Coast and setting up my Art Studio there where he can make regular visits with our friends and my children too with their friends now that she has her own Diving license. My daughter is all out with the idea of my moving to the East Coast and she is setting up the fundraiser for my cause. Karim my son is a whole different story, one cannot predict his mind but I am sure that he will always be there for me in his own way. The Naz, "I will see what I can do!" will be his response and Timo is aiming at going to Japan with a broken neck, literally. So I know I got the support of my children one way or another. 

I have nephews and nieces all over this country. I know I can count on their support and promotion of my intentions in the best way they can, as my journey dreams, and aspirations are not solely mine. If there is an answer to what I can do for the Displaced children of war-torn countries, albeit Palestine, Syria, Sudan, or the rest of them, I would open a Sanctuary for them like a school for the healing process of traumatized children. It is a tall order for the stubborn man with an imagination and a desire to fulfill. Can I make it happen? Of course, it has already, the words are written on the walls and soon the right ears and hearts will listen and act accordingly out of compassion. In answer to the question, of how can I make a difference in helping to ease the burden of pain and suffering of displaced children around the world, I hereby lay my ultimate intention; will you help me make it happen. Now that you have heard the details of the story will you walk with me I'm counting every soul that reads this and asks the same question to nudge me in the right direction to make things happen.

I am running a Fundraising for my Cause.

 I was hanging out at the beach today with my friend Ben, our mutual friend Eugene, who came from KL, and his friend Aamar, both Ruby Players. I met Eugene about three years ago when Ben and I made a trip to Pulau Kapas in his Volvo. I have the details of our trip posted somewhere in the Blog, with pictures and all. Out of the blue, I had a call from Ben this morning, and told me he was picking me up to go and meet Eugen at his Hotel in Tanjung Bungah. Why not? It would be nice to get out of the house, a change of pace, a change of phase. While waiting for Eugene we swam in the pool and and later swam in the sea. Has been a long time for me and I missed the salt water running down my throat and my nasal passages cleaning my sinuses. Ben unfortunately got stung by a jellyfish on his leg. Eugene stayed at the Rainbow Paradise Resort, next to the Flamingo Hotel, it is a beautiful seaside resort well landscaped with a sizeable swimming pool not too far from the beach. Sitting by the beach one gets to see Gunung Jerai directly across the bay. A few weeks ago Ben, his friend Bob from Medan, and I had stayed the night at the resort on top of the mountain. To the Malays, Gunung Jerai is considered a Mystical Mountain where Malay warriors would go to meditate and commune with the unknown. I found the vegetation at the mountaintop to be out of this world almost mythical. 

                                                               I Have a Dream

My intention is to have my first Art Studio somewhere along the coast of Terengganu, where I can easily access the sea and Pulau Kapas. It would be somewhere along the Marang and Jambu Bongkok/ Dungun area. My friend Ben Ronjen had lived at Jambu Bongkok for 6 years when he was working at the Wan Li Shipwreck off the coast of Pulau Tangul. The idea I have is to start with the least expensive Malay house and start from there. The Art Studio will evolve into an art school for local kids and an open studio policy will be introduced to have professional artists visit and exchange ideas and philosophy, I envision the facility will in time turn into an art institution. I also see the possibility of running workshops for adults from all walks of life, those looking for a retreat from the humdrum of city life.  This is the gist of my vision and imagination and I am pursuing the course that is leading me toward accomplishing this vision. I have meditated on it, contemplated and visualized the outcome, and feel confident that I have already materialized the outcome and it is only a matter of time before it will manifest in its final form. I trust that the All Mighty has sanctioned my goal and am closely being guided by the Universe in every move I make or do not. I am beginning to feel like am being led towards the right direction to be aligned with my desire fulfilled. I am now beginning to sound like Mr. Neville Goddard after having listened to his lectures just about every morning day and night. I am beginning to feel like I am a devotee of yet another religion having more intense faith and the knowledge of Power and Abundance. Thank YOU! Mr. Goddard for your awe-inspiring lessons on the true nature of my being.

                                        I have grown my beard as a token of respect for my age.

For those reading this and have any chance to spare towards my accomplishing my task I would greatly appreciate the support no matter how. I am calling for help from the Universe to make a miracle happen in the shortest of time and in the best possible way. Your help and involvement in fulfilling my dream and vision would make the story even more sure. I am asking the Universe to help me make it happen, you are my Universe answering my call. I stop having doubts and let my intentions be known widely to avoid future contentions, like how did got there, all that money! Where does it come from! He must be dealing! So I am asking for your help to nudge me in the right direction if nothing else. I am still on the road to find out. I invite you to become involved in this venture and who knows that in the end that's where we will meet in person. However, all I ask is that if you cannot be of help please do not become a barrier too, do not stand in my way toward achieving my goals and fulfilling my desire. So again I ask in all good faith to the Collective Spirit of my fellow travelers to pray for the success of my final journey. I have set the ball rolling and there is no turning back. Let us see how far it will take to get there from now on although in my mind I have already successfully implemented my desire at least in my heart and mind.

                                         I had embraced my Divine Nature at a very early age.

  

lETTING gO AND SURRENDERING - OF pAIN AND pLEASURE.

Photoshots have replaced pen and ink  I am writing to recap my path, my journey from the day I was born till now to keep reminding myself of who I am, where I have been, and what I have done for the past 75-odd years. This was the commitment made when I decided to keep an ongoing journal sometime in 1978 when on a college trip I traveled to England. Today with the Internet, Blogging has replaced journal sketchbooks, Photos have replaced pen and ink drawings, and proper printed writing has replaced random scribbles and smudges. I stopped collecting stickers and dated and used bus tickets, dried pressed flowers and Airline Boarding Passes stuck to to remind me of what I did and where and when. I am getting too old to collect memorabilia like I used to. However, my commitment to keeping this ongoing story will continue with as sincere and genuine feelings as when the story started a long time ago sometime in 1978, in England. 

The journey never ends, I have come to accept, that there is no escape from the path, the wheel are set on the tracks and there is only one direction to head and that is the next moment, the next breath, the next thought, one step at a time I am walking towards acceptance and surrender, towards Love and Submission of my whole being unto Him, Lord of the Universe, Lord of Creation, Lord of Power,  Lorde of Mercy and Compassion, The One, Allah  Aza W Jallaa! (a.w.j). I have a confession to make. I am no more! My past is buried and I am whole, complete, and perfect! There is no more pain or pleasure, no more clinging or rejection, no more Love or hate! I am free from this dual-thinking mind of Right and wrong,  Light and Darkness! I am free to be as I am, with no hope or expectation for there is nothing to hope for. Pain comes and goes just as pleasure replaces pain is here and no more. For as long as I identify with my physical and emotional self, Pain is pain and Pleasure is pleasure. Suffering Is, None who suffers. When I am no more, suffering ceases to be. I have come to accept this simple truth today as a lesson in my understanding of the process of healing body and mind. As Neville Goddard keeps repeating, it is the process of keeping in alignment with the Whole of the UNiverse.  

The Power of Imagination is Awesome! It manifests this Universe, your universe, my universe, and our collective consciousness of The Whole, Complete, and Perfect Universe. It is the power of my imagination that has brought me here, and it so happens that I started recording this truth in this ongoing journal for my own understanding of who I truly am. Am I this form and mental formation? Am I a manifestation of consciousness in alignment with my true nature, that which was before my parents conceived me to be? If so, who am I? or What am I? I asked this of three young adults, Two Germans and a Chinese from Mainland China who stopped by Ben's Shipwreck Store at the  COED when they were about to leave and they shook their heads laughing. I told them a brief image of who I am, about my children and who they have become, and yada! yada! I had fun entertaining them with my stories. Earlier a young lady from Minnesota Miss Devra was surprised to find an old fart who had lived as her next-door neighbor in Green Bay, Wisconsin for eight years of my life. I told about how I survived eight years of my life in Green Bay and the Wisconsin winter. She stood up for the Vikings when I told her that I was a Green Bay Packers fan and how beautiful the fall can be especially in the Wisconsin Dells area of the Wolf River. Talking to her brought back memories.

     A young man from Singapore who impressed me with his good manners and friendliness

I rarely see young Malays interested in talking to Ben about Shipwrecks and Broken pieces.

                     I took this picture because of the contrast between Ben's colors and his customers.

                                           Sato san's Watercolor Exhibition at Hin Bus (COEX)

Its Thaipusam Time!

 

Most of them asked if I was ok when I posted my 'Divine' image on FaceBook, and how perceptions vary with how you look. Keeping my facial hair in full bloom was my latest experiment to see if I would cut it as a Rishi or a Yogi and what better place and time to put on my display than at the Thaipusam when all the Hindus gather in town for the annual Kavadi day. 

Accompanied by my daughter, I took a long, relaxing walk from home to the location. Working out my legs was good, as I have been sitting too much at the computer. My daughter met a few of her friends along the way in the picture she stands in the middle.

 

As always, the Indian Ladies mesmerized me with their radiant-colored Saris and beautiful smiles when I asked to snap a picture. 

"Thaipusam or Thaipoosam (Tamil: Taippūcam, IPA: [t̪əjppuːsəm]) is a Tamil Hindu festival celebrated on the first full moon day of the Tamil month of Thai coinciding with Pusam star. The festival signifies that Lord Murugan is a Siddha and an enlightened being. On this auspicious day, he transcended from his physical form, a concept known as Mukthi in Hinduism. He dedicated his life to serving humanity and left behind a wealth of wisdom for society.

The festival includes ritualistic practices of Kavadi Aattam, a ceremonial act of sacrifice carrying a physical burden as a means of balancing a spiritual debt. Worshipers often carry a pot of cow milk as an offering and also do mortification of the flesh by piercing the skin, tongue or cheeks with vel skewers. Devotees prepare for the rituals by keeping clean, doing regular prayers, following a vegetarian diet and fasting while remaining celibate.

Thaipusam is observed by Tamils in India, Sri Lanka, Southeast Asia notably in Malaysia, Singapore, and Indonesia. It is also observed by other countries with significant Tamil diaspora like Fiji, Mauritius, Seychelles, South Africa, Canada, the Caribbean countries including Trinidad and Tobago and Guyana, and in countries with significant Indian migrants like the United States. It is a public holiday in Mauritius, select states in Malaysia and in the Indian state of Tamil Nadu"  -  Wikipedia

All in all, it was just fun for everyone, and people need this these days when all you hear is the threats of war and environmental degradation. Accompanied by loud music live and from humongous speakers, one was uplifted in spirit to join the merriment. No matter what faith you hold to be true, it is imperative that you enjoy the faith of others and that they enjoy yours. This is living in harmony in a multi-cultural nation like Malaysia. 

What Can I Do? - I Am only Human.

 Brain neuroplasticity - 432 Hz,  -2, This is what is running in the background of my mind, my brain, my neurons, and my Consciousness; I could be listening to worse and it is indeed very soothing and relaxing, try it! YouTube -'Relaxed Mind'. Why am I sharing this with you? It is my way of setting the stage for a dialogue between us even if you are a non-entity sitting in the depths of the cave somewhere in Tibet. if you by chance and misfortune to be reading this then it is indeed between us. I am sharing my thoughts and consciousness as the day progresses it is my way of keeping in touch with myself, like being fully conscious at every moment of how my time is spent, just another practice among all other practices. In Muslim Malay culture and tradition it is known as 'Amalan'. Practice, Yoga, first comes to mind, Prayer, Meditation, Contemplation, Zikrullah! or  Quranic chants, The Dance of the Dervish and of Lord Narayana, the Cosmic Dancer, these are a few of the practices that are available throughout humanity; one has to only desire to know, the need to understand the inner workings of our human Consciousness is paramount in our Spiritual endeavor as human being; our brain and thinking faculty was not gifted to us because we are apes. I am who I am. Not just any ordinary Bishop or King, I Am my Father's Son! I Am That I AM! La haula wala kuataillabilla Ainliu Azim! I AM THE ESSENCE THAT IS AND NOTHING MOVES WITHOUT MY AWARENESS! This is indeed a tough act to follow much less to take up as a serious practice, however, it is not an option for me. My road, my path, my journey has led me here and here is where it is at for me as a whole and complete manifestation of who I am, I am That I am.

                                          One of my first attempts at woodcut printing with 'Allah' in the center.

I will not doubt nor will I hesitate to take on the responsibility of my claim and for whatever it is worth I will keep on sharing my thoughts and feelings at the human level to help guide those whose journeys are on the same trajectory as mine. I am the fruit of seeds that were sewn in the past by Divine minds, Gurus, and Teachers, I am manifesting the sum total of what has accumulated in my own Consciousness. I am willing and ready to let go of my past, there is no more attachment to shame or guilt, to limitations and validations from the external; I am free! Tonight, the Chinese are paying their respect to the 'Sky Deity' so there will be fireworks till late at night. I have my earphones on listening to the Brain Neuroplasticity 432Hz. Video, soothing and calming my inner state with the rattling of fireworks from all around as the distant background making it a perfect environment for meditative contemplation or chilling out; against all odds. Reading a novel or watching a movie is out of the question, for tonight the skies are littered with fireworks and the sound is deafening, I imagine what it must be like for the Palestinians day in and day out. I feel blessed and protected by the Mercy of my Lord from having to go through such a similar experience, especially as a child. 

Yes, they are fucking around with the fate of a Nation taking evil for good and good for evil. Blinded by Greed Hate and Delusion, they are driven into a self-destruction spiral. There is no end or so it seems when it comes to man's exploitation of his fellow man; we feed upon each other like cannibalistic cancer viruses feeding their host, Only man is the animal that hates for sheer hate and love for no apparent reason. It is due to the lack of positive creativity in the collective consciousness of humanity as a whole that destruction and decadence take form or manifest, as they say, "Shit happens!." Whether at the personal or national level, when you step too far to the right or the left you will drift from your center, the point where you are. Humanity is drifting toward the dark side of chaos and total annihilation and it seems like there is no respite from this tangent we find ourselves in. With Trump and Netanyahu running the show who needs Dajal?! These are elected leaders bound and determined to gamble human lives to fulfill egotistical satisfaction. It is almost a diabolical predicament that mankind is being driven into by world leaders today, those who spread chaos and discord, and those who sit back frozen to their lack of courage to intervene despite the fact they see the murderous intentions being carried out against humanity.

                                      My water color done at Kinkasan Island, in Japan.

When you have had too much and enough is never enough, what do you do with yourself? You look to how to get rid of what you have no use for or so they say. It is when you have more than enough and know not what else to do that it all ends up becoming a waste and humans are one of the most wasteful species that walks the earth. The heap of nonrecyclable plastic is filling up the rivers and oceans and the groundwater is as polluted as sewage in most parts of the world where heavy population persist. The environment is slowly being eroded by natural as well as man-made disasters like there is no tomorrow. Nature has been reaped and pillaged for decades to benefit the few who have the means to exploit it while the rest of us sit on our hands helpless. The climate is going haywire while scientists try to gain control over how nature works. Floods and fires wrought havoc while nations keep their armaments building up for impending wars; oh, when will we ever learn! Little do we notice that the worst form of pollution is the one that we manifest within ourselves. Our imbalanced mental status is conditioned by our upbringing and external infestation leaving us lost and drifting as though sleepwalking has become detached from what is real and attached to what is a self-manufactured illusion/delusion. The worst-case scenario I can imagine for humanity is when I watch a 'Zombie' movie, The Walking Dead! It creates a painful sense of despair in my heart.

 

                                                                 My 'Drip' painting.

"All things are contained in the human imagination; it is the Law."

The question is, how genuine and how real is your imagination? How creative and productive is it? How passionate and how much feeling do you invest into this imagination and how does it help to heal yourself and free you from the bonds of ignorance and suffering? To imagine Universal Peace to happen it will take a tremendous amount of effort that often only Saints and Prophets inherit and by Divine blessings and for me a common man I have much to do in the form of housekeeping before I can claim for myself the right to judge others for what is happening in and around my world. It is the law too that what is external is but a mirror of what is within and as such I am not completely pure of state to attain the level of a 'Spiritual Healer' or make any significant impact upon my external realm, however, it is my desire to do so and that is to serve to the best of my ability in making God's Creation a complete and perfect Beauty.

 

 

 

Sitting at the edge of Time.

 I watched a slither of a moon accompanied by a bright star slowly disappeared behind Penang Hill into the darkness. I watched fireworks accompanied by thunderous cracks that shattered all the peacefulness of the environment with blazing colored lights bursting brightly for a second and dies into the same darkness of the night skies. This is the third day of the Chinese New Year after all and Penang is predominantly Chinese and so as to be expected there is festivities in the air still. I was listening to Neville Goddard on my handphone while sitting outside, It was a deep talk on empowerment, "I can do what i will todo," I can do anything, The eleven weaknesses to let go off in order to become master of one's consciousness itself or something like that starting with doubts, separation, comparison, and so forth. I fully understood as I was listening and felt almost absorbed into the teachings but I was still not able to let go of the baggage i still carry. My mind still would wonder off every now and then despite the depth of which I was into the lecture; human mind indeed has a mind of its own. As long as it took for the crescent moon and her companion bright star to disappear behind the hill,  my consciousness was held by the darkness of the landscape before me, nothing last forever as light turns to darkness so, darkness turns to light at the break of dawn. Life flows on like a river down to the sea, there is no turning back except by transformation...Change, letting go of the past and adopting the future. Mental transformation, letting go of old and insignificant thoughts and ideas, letting go of stories and outmoded dreams and imaginations. Taking a hold of the genuine state of Supreme Consciousness, Supreme Being, Supreme Soul and living my life from this 'Dharma Position.' 

 I keep talking to myself of this ,"Dharma Position,' something I read and was impressed with the concept of this Buddhist Principle. It was one of the Sutras of the Buddha's teachings, something I read when i was hibernating at the Tassajara Zen Mountain Center, located in the Big Sur off Carmel Valley in Southern California, one winter night. I felt it to be very solid where human expression is concern, like the declaration of I Am That I Am. When I address someone i am presenting myself as a whole, sum total of my entire state of consciousness, this is who I am and this is where i take my stand in addressing you at this moment. I am the Complete and perfect Divine expression manifesting from within my Supreme Consciousness and making my self known as who I truly am. I am not just an ordinary being drifting through this dimension like dust in the wind, I am a reality in itself, I am Eternal and Immeasurable, I was never born nor will I die when this physical form disintegrate and return to its original components. I will journey on into other forms and dimensions as I see fit, transmigration is a part of my nature in order to evolve into my higher nature as I already am manifesting. I am Complete and Perfect, Strong and Powerful, Loving and Compassionate, harmonious and Happy. I can do what i will todo; InshaAllah! This is not something I am repeating after listening to uplifting podcast or some fantastic motivational videos, this comes from the heart as it has always been there ever since I was born. Sometimes I fail to acknowledge or recognize the presence of this my Original Buddha Nature and dare to declare my true Dharma Position  whenever I express myself or manifest my imaginations. I am fully aware of who I am in every moment of my existence even if at times I find myself doubting and drifting from my center loosing the Dharma footing ending up making errors and mistakes that demands attention. When this happens I meditate, I listen to the Blues or some Country and Western to remove myself from getting too serious about what i pay attention. This is where NETFLIX and MAX channel comes in handy and not mention YouTube and Facebook. They all play a role in my overall coverage of who I am. What matters is they are all take in a good balance neither too seriously nor too lax; The Middle Way.   

                                        Meditation can happen anywhere and at anytime.

When sitting in Nature and vast open skies with hills and lakes, this is the best place to be in order to observe your inner being, the movements of your thoughts and consciousness and being is tune with the Universe. There is nothing out there one soon realizes and that everything is the manifestation of what is within; you are creating your own environment, your own space, your own manifestation of an imaginative mind. It is the Year of the Snake according to the Chinese Lunar calendar and the snake's main attribute is Wisdom followed by Change, as in letting go, moving on leaving behind and I look forward to this year as the year i fulfill all my dreams and desires accordingly. I am a Chosen One, I Am That I am. InshaAllah.