If you ask me what i think of my life today....

 I Am The Power! I am the Master of my Thoughts and Imaginations. I am the Master of my Body, speech and Mind. I am the master of my circumstances and  my environment, I am the master of my Destiny. I am the captain of my own ship, and i can do what i will to do, InshaAllah, so help me God; I Am the Power. I am the temple of the Living Spirit, The Lord of Souls and i Am That I am. If I die tonight, let it be witnessed that i am aware of all that is being shared with me by these great minds such as Neville Goddard, Sadhguru Jagjid, The Dalaim Lama or Shunyamurit, or the Voices for the Chosen Ones Videos, I am entertaining myself with what it takes to become a Complete Human Being, Al Insan Kamil or a Real Sinless Soul. It is almost a dream to even consider myself having found the discipline to pursue this course of action while on the next phase of my journey. No such thing as perfection, it is agreed by most, and Beauty lies in the eyes of the Beholder. So, what exactly am i doing here? The small voice within ask to no one in particular and got thousands of answers on YouTube and Tik Tok and the rest of it. Only the answers are too much wrapped in self serving copy and paste speeches that sounds pretty much like my mind rambling on over things that i have already rambled on in many of my posts earlier. 

 I used to listen to Alice Cooper, Red Hot ChilliPepper, Aerosmith, Aillie Nelson, Sade, ...Live! It was at the The Shoreline Amphitheater near San Francisco, I used to sell Temporary Tattoos for my friend Josh, like the tattoo on his arm of the snake. Happy year of the Wood Snake.  

I am entertaining my mind with every possibilities and no rocks left untouched when it comes to forging ahead my next intention on what i hope to venture into and what I do hope to achieve at this juncture in my life. This is what happens when doubts arise and cast a cloudy image of what might or could happen if I make the wrong choices. So I can keep going on entertaining this negative line of perception or i can shift to< "{ Am The Power!" I am Whole,  Complete and Perfect...I can do What I will to Do. This is the Jihad of the Soul, a war fought between man and his nafs, his ego, his darker nature. I have been playing this scenario for quite sometime now and it is beginning wear out, it is time to make the Hijrah, the Move, Relocation, Retreat from what is to what is yet to become,  Hit the Road Jack! So long as I am breathing in and out I have karma to play with and this is another law that most of us are not willing to accept and deal with along with the rest of the mess.

                                      I sat beside my Brother for two weeks till the day he died. Being an artist has its advantages especially when there is a need to be present yet detached. May Allah spare me this death, it is too painful to even watched. 
 

"Doubt is the Great Dissolver of Dreams. The Moment you allow doubt to creep in you Dilute the Power of your Words, You cannot talk to the Universe with one foot in faith and the other in fear." ... Neville Goddard.

My intention of sharing every thought and action past, present and intended is to share my journey, the path I have chosen and how I have navigated through with the choices i was given to play with. I reminded of practicing Silence in every aspect of my expression and manifestations, my intentions and and dreams; I am guilty of this inability to remain in complete silence for too long. I am addicted to over thinking, like most of my fellow humans. A weakness I am habituated with from childhood. It reminded me of my Chinese math high school teacher, Mr. Adrew Heng, I had asked him  for me to be excused from the math class and he agreed but he later took me for a walk and said, "You are very young, you have to stop thinking like an old man." I was sixteen and what he said back then just brushed off the top of my head but it remained plastered to the door of my subconscious refrigerator. Even as a Child i was nudged to become confronted with the question of personal growth like an adult. For example i was raised a Buddhist for 12 years of my life, I also have a twin brother raised a Muslim for the same number of years and later we were brought together as teenagers in a predominantly Muslim State and attending the same Secondary School with our eldest brother as the school disciplinary teacher. The devil is still in the details turn it to which page you like, the story revolves around the same old tales  It is not my intention to keep on digging deeper into the compost pile, but sometimes the vapors just rises to the surface and spreading the smell of decay throughout my senses. I smelt death and decay within me.

           I cut the Tanks and they cleaned it. It was the messiest most hazardous Job i ever did.

H&H Ship and Environmental Services, I was in charge of the Underground Tank Cutting and Disposal Operation. I practically helped to design the facility and assisted in writing down the Health and Safety Regulations for the purpose of Underground Tanks Disposal for the Company. I did it for the Love of 'The Boys" who stood by me in The Yard and they made it Happen. 

"All my ancient twisted Karrma, from beginningless, Greed, Hate and Delusions, I now fully Avow!"

" I've seen Fire I've seen rain! I've seen lonely times that i could not find a friend, But i always know that i will see you again, that i will see you one more time again..." -