In Search of Fear - Who, Why, What am I afraid of?

                        I was Gandalf the Brown and with my walking stick I explored the wild.

 Overcome Fear with Faith. Replace Fear with Faith. 

Fear is one of the most avoided taboo subject that we  rarely talk about or avoid looking into too closely. At the personal I in the past have confronted what is fear in me and most I have written in the Blog before, however I would like to share further what is fear to me and how i have managed it so far. For me the number one issue I have is Anger and not Fear. Fear however is fear, it is what it is and can be scary sometimes when one is confronted with challenges that is beyond one's capacity to handle, challenges where fear overtakes logic and reason, where fear becomes a threat more than it really is. What is most common fear most people have is fear of the unknown, the unseen, the monster in the closet, this is instant fear that sends the adrenalin skyrocketing in all directions, where panic takes hold and all hell breaks loose; this type of fear can be detrimental to the health if not fatality. May Allah protect me from the test of fear. I take refuge in all the Buddhas, Bodhisattvas, past present and future from the threat of fear from my darker nature. May i overcome my fears with thorough understanding and compassion towards the cause of my fear and accept and embrace it with faith and surrender; I am my fear. 

                                                      Empangang Muda - The Muda Dam

Sometime in 2012 I decided to take a trip across the country in my mini car I called 'The Kancil', together we ended up in a Kampung in Sik, Kedah. The journey was turned into my quest to understand fear and has been fully written in this Blog, you can search using these names including SRI LOVELY. I stayed for two months at this remote abandoned village at the foothills of Belantik, Sik Kedah. It is called kampung Lintang and here for two months I tested myself for the measure of my fear tolerance, when do I turn tail from fear. Boy did I have some nasty experiences that words do not do justice to in telling. On looking back i realize how dumb it was to take such stupid risks for no good reason. But on the other hand I did it and I did it consciously hoping to encounter the worse of the worse in the dark of the night in the middle of nowhere with no one around; I took on the challenge and gained the respect of the local community of Belantik.   

I was very impressed by the lack of fear that my friend Adi, owner of this hut at the very end of the road before it runs into the forest. Adi built this hut by himself and lived alone. If he could do it, I told myself I can do it come what may. They spotted a tiger cub prowling around the place a week before I got there, that was not the scariest for me, what I feared was the unseen, ghosts and demons, angry ones and simply being nasty ones. Fear can keep one from being over confident or arrogant while in the wild, fear can be overcome through respect and understanding especially within oneself.