Come what come, happen what happen...Me and my Shadow.

                                    It's a Bloody strange world we're living in master Jack!

All that is needed is for the sound system not to function on the PC and i am thrown into a loop, my anger starts to raise its head and I am sitting here wondering if this cycle would ever end, this mini grievances would not pull me down. I am even trying to write about it like it helps. Perhaps it is what is needed at the moment or i can go lie down and listen to Quran recited on my Tablet. But it should not be that on account of my son telling me he is too busy to fix the sound I am thrown out of my track, no not going to happen, I am through with falling victim to my ego not being able to handle minor irritations without getting all bunched up inside. No Sir, I am going to keep on writing as thought this is the last moment of my discredit existence. Hoe weak can one be after seventy odd years still not able to say fuck it! Don't need it! I am sick and tired of listening to the Rape on Gaza and how terribly insane and corrupted the American Government has become, and why the war in Ukraine must come to and end and how many are facing death in the Sudan and Yemen comes winter. So I cannot listen, what am I missing? Sometimes I listen so much to what is being fed into the Media on the Internet, I am beginning to miss listening to me thinking to myself. At the same time I put so much faith into what is sold out there that I have no faith in myself. I am lost and drifting every moment I am faced with a challenge, sometimes so simple and irrelevant, and it triggers in me the negative energy that sends all sense of creativity and fun and excitement into the closet and it is war! I know it makes little sense but how else does one makes sense out of every non-sense, make what is unreal into the real? Only by expression can one expose these minor irritations, the petty tyrants that think they have you under their thump, or so it seems as nothing, at the end of the day is real, nothing that is transience is real, and we are existing in a holographic manifestations of our own collective minds and this has been confirmed by the ancient religions and modern science and i personally do not need any confirmation other than I already have tasted and experienced and still in the process perhaps till the day I die.

There is no way that i can totally become free from my incessant thinking, the monkey mind will not allow it and there is  a battle raging out there that is causing so much stir in the Universe and among the Chelatases within; mu mind refuses to make believe that all is good with the world and with myself. No, for so log as i am breathing in and out I am bound to be seeking ways and means to bring my mind to a silence, to be detached from the influences of what is out there to what is within and one of the ways I have set myself in practice is writing it all down as it happens; thanks to Blogger and the Internet i am able to keep this on for as long I have the computer to play with. The many hour I have spent on writing this Blog entries is how long I have been able to detach myself from making too many mistakes and making poor choices or crying over spilled milk and feeling a victim of all circumstances. My self affirmation practice includes; I Am Whole. Perfect and Complete, Strong and Powerful, Loving and Compassionate, Harmonious and happy! and I can Do What i Will to Do. Kun Faya Kun! InshaAllah. How I wish that I can attain to that level of becoming who I truly am; like Al Insan Kamil or the Perfect Man.

                                                     Nothing like a plateful of Lambchops!

One can only dream of becoming free from all these so called mental formations in the physical realm, this realm of Maya, or illusion where nothing is Real and everything seems real. One pick and choose, make the choices for what is positive and detach from the negative, trying to practice being good and rejecting the not so good. I am a conditioned being and this conditioning has been with me since I was in my mother's womb sharing the space with my twin brother who till this day we can never see eye to eye. Can you imagine my story? Can you see what i had to face throughout my life from the moment i was given up for adoption while my parents kept my twin? Perhaps I am looking for someone or something to lay the blame on; am I? I was raised a Buddhist while the rest of my family and relatives were Muslims all living under the same roof. What i see today is that i survived, I have crawled my way out of the conditioning as best i could and live to write about it! It's all about me and my shadow, shadow of the past present and future.

                                               When you're free from your minor hang-ups