There are limits to what is needed to be shared in sharing. Exposing oneself is one thing but exposing the weaknesses of others in the process is not cool. There are limits to what is being heard or observed in our experience with others at the deepest level that can be discussed just to make a point in our perception that can be made public lest it incriminates the other in one way or another. Most of us walk around with crutches and blinders to help us move along this tedious journey we call life and it can be in any form from sheer obsessions to the flesh, the clinging on to blind piety or drugs, the ego in man needs a booster to stay alive, to stay in touch with what one calls his reality. The ego is never without its shadow, its dark nature, its lower self often mistaken for his subconsciousness and this darker nature is the cause of suffering. The cause of desires and needs, of hoarding and clinging on to, the ignorance and the blindness to faith; the dark side will keep emerging and placing itself as hurdle for ever effort made for a man to achieve total liberation from his thought manifested consciousness. The ego is the negative form of energy that permeates human consciousness when allowed to will manifest itself as a reality which the ego takes to seriously as its own manifestation; suffering is due to this ignorance of the unreal being taken for as real. Becoming aware is waking up to this mistake of not seeing the ego mind for what it is, it is a fake, a replica of what is real, the product of a dual thinking mind subjected to right and wrong, good and bad, up and down; the mental formations of opposites. In this state of consciousness there is a division between what is real and what is not, what the mind perceives to be genuine and authentic or what is being propped up by crutches that is employed to stay upright, to stay in touch with the real.
Those who make genuine effort to stay in touch with their divinity, the higher self, the, the God within, those who has awaken to what is Real drops the crutches and stand alone unchained and undivided by the dichotomy of what is out there and what is in here. Such individuals has become liberated from the shackles of blindness and ignorance and is closer to his divine nature and to his God. The effort of self cleansing, self purification, self sacrifice if and when arrived at its deepest of highest intensity places man before his Maker, he is but one step from becoming a Buddha or attaining his Buddha Nature, or becoming one with God upon giving up his worldly human nature, his ego. Many great minds of the past and present has testified that the death of the ego in man is the birth of the Buddha where the man is no more, the I is no more. It is also said that for so long as there is an I, there is suffering. To enter the gateless gate, to take the step across to the other shore, to become one with one's true nature, one's divine nature, to become Atman or Atma - Brahman, to become like God, one has to cease to exist as an entity or an individual. This is a tall order to to take too seriously for most but for those who have been treadling along on this spiritual path to find out, the truth seeker, the Sannyasin, the Sat Yogi, the Saints and Divine Beings and even the Angels, it is imperative that the journey has to be taken with purest of intention and genuine passion and diligences, the journey to enter the Gateless gate is one of self surrender, of complete submission to the will of the Higher Being, the Divine Self. It is not a journey for the faint hearted nor for those of weak constitution and it is a journey that spans many a lifetime, many an evolution towards the perfection of Wisdom transcending all duality and division in consciousness; right and wrong is just a sickness of the mind.
My trip to Kapas Island, unplanned and short as it may seem has awaken me to some parts of my body, mind and spirit that i had never before been aware of. Not all I discovered were positive but most pointed me towards the direction of getting to know myself with more clarity. 'Silence is Golden', is perhaps a worn out cliche but Silence Is Golden in the practice towards self realization. There is silence in between two breaths, a good place to start from. Seeking silence of space and time was one of my intentions in going to Kapas and it was with hope that i could find a quiet environment and conducive ambiance for my meditative practices which primarily is to silence my chattering mind or at least give it something new and different to ramble about. { found it and I did not as all that transpired around me was the silence which I sought if only i had been more perceptive and aware of what was happening I could have learned more, of myself. I found the joys and the sorrows, the freedom and the bondage that most of those I met were carrying within each and everyone especially me. If the mind could create a more adverse condition for any form of spiritual practice it created the best scenario for me to experience for three weeks; I could have stayed home watching NETFLIX all day long one series after another, or getting all upset and sad over what is going on in the Middle East particularly the Gaza Strip. I could be listening to Shuniamurti Satsangs from the Satyogi Institute in Costa Rica. Yeah I had choices and options, however it is in my nature to not be stuck in one dimension in life, one role, one circumstance or one episode, I need to experience the varieties in life in order to ascertain my Dharma position, I need to feel where I am coming from before I exit this scene permanently. I can only thus far find it in silence, non attachment, non identifying with the elements on the screen. I am the projector, I am the director and I am the script writer of who or what i am. This is my episode, this is my karmic dance and only in Silence do I feel this element of the Divine in my consciousness.
I talked to both my elder sisters in Terengganu and KL and both are facing pain and suffering in their old age of one form or another. The one in KL was on struggling to get to her room on an excruciating painful foot that had been festering due to her diabetes, the other had just returned from a long trip to the bank to get her card renewed and her phone had been scamped which does not allow her to call out, something like that. Yes, Silence is Golden and i could have not made the calls had they not being my siblings and had in the past taken good care of me. I cannot remain silent while around me life if falling apart for many and myself included, silence is golden when my heart is free.
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