Yes I have been burning the midnight oil most of the time too, thinking, reflecting, arguing, giving up, letting go: most of the time I have stood away from the Blog the mind has kept me busy while I keep feeding it the cause to, everything has been a vicious circle of karmic proportion and only being me can comprehend the magnitude of this self realization...I am No More!
In the silence of the mind, the pause in between two thoughts, in that short lightning span of time see for who you truly are in this scheme of life. If you're on stage what are you? What is your role, Where do you fit in all these ...how do you see what is real and what is not, do you take the position that nothing really matters! Silly? I often thought so myself, crazy even! But I enjoy putting down my thoughts, rambling away what it has stored back there somewhere, the untold stories, this is what the Blogging means to me. I am able to share what little experience i have had for over 74 years evolving into the person who is typing this post and you reading it, this is the connection we all seek and need to find if humanity is to unite in defense of itself. I would be rambling on more than I need to if I to paint a picture of the State of the World and Humanity today it would never end. I hope my sharing my thoughts and experiences in some way touches your heart like a sound of emptiness touching your tip of your ear, I am happy. Writing has become fun for me and ever since I have been Blogging Typing the key board has become a challenge to not miss to many stops and commas and to make sure that the grammar is okay, it is readable and understandable, I am Happy. My fingers has not any better with age but they still dance to the the sound of the flute from the Music channel and my eyes enjoy the green light from the latest keyboard in the market, so says Karim, my son. "Yes Dad, that's an expensive keyboard, don't you dare pour fish curry over it." I am beginning to appreciate my son's style of living better now, he spends good money over things he enjoys most as he is a hermit living in a nut shell of what the internet has to offer, how is Liverpool doing? :
I once had an epiphany or a mini Satori if you like and like was whispering in my head, "God wants you to be Happy and share Happiness with others." I did not fell off the roof or slipped on my ass about it but it made me smile and with tears almost popping out of my eyes. It was just as I was struggling with my soul, my mind and my body and giving up at the futility of it all, God spoke to me. It all seem so down to earth and simple and all I was doing was tossing and turning shit over nothing. Allah, is merciful, loving and Compassionate, pick your choice and cling to it till fire turn to ash. Even a I am putting this on paper, I am still have, second thoughts, doubts and delusional; I am not my ego! I will do as I will and I will keep on digging and exposing the truth from the false till the day I give up this physical form. I will fall but I will keep on rising, I will walk tall and speak less and listen more and I strive with my utmost courage to attain the awakened mind. Whatever that is...I am still attach to my need for sleep and dream as a break from the so called reality as it is in the external realm, out there! I highly doubt that i can liberate my self from this way seeking mind, this mind that is clings to the past and hoping for the future, I have yet to even dare take the game to the next level of accepting the Divine and casting off the Mundane into emptiness the void where we dump a;; our outdated spare parts and engine blocks, where we store out memories and experiences which we have out grew in time. I am really am ambivalent with regard to giving up my present state of mind simply because I am still cautiously test the spiritual waters of how far or near I can go or am allowed to, like how much shall I keep revealing of myself in this post, how deep and blatant am I willing to expose myself? I am exposing nothing that is not of me and thus it is my choice, the freedom to give and take is mine in this case.
Many are saying the Ego must be put to death before the Divine can be met with. The Ego stands at the gate blocking your way from entering the Gateless gate and step into the unknown where the ego becomes lost in a silent pause, no thoughts, no images, give up thinking and step into the emptiness of being, that space where is called your Dharma Position, that platform from which you stand and address the rest of the universe. It is amoral virtue too establish your own Dharma position in order they you know who and where or what is projecting itself in any given moment in time. This my Primordial Ground, the ground of Beingness, by the laws that govern the Universe I stand my position as such! This, my, Center of Being, my undivided consciousness; my Ego. I admit that knowing with a good understanding of the Teachings of the Buddha and the Rishis and Sages, Masters and Gurus, I am still wallowing in a deep mud pool of ignorance where spirituality and enlightenment, Heaven and hell, I am still in the dark where I make my Dharma Position when I out of my cave and meeting another soul.; hey! This is who I am! Who are You?
I keep reminding myself that I am the master of my Thoughts and Consciousness and I have been doing this ever since I was offered to read a book called 'The Master key," at the age of 25. It changed my life oh well made a dent in my young stubborn head, I kept running it in my head like a Mantra, I am the master of my thoughts and consciousness, my dreams and imaginations and then one day the question of all questions arises out of nowhere; Who am I? How does the tragic accident the took place at the bottom of the Ocean, how do I feel about the implosion of the Titanic Submersible which happened a few days ago and is in the news right now. Or how do I feel about the Palestinians being put to the bullets by Israelis Regime, what can I say? It is as it should be? It is all playing it out as the cause towards the downfall or destruction of yet another specie called the Homo sapiens. I am very concerned about the slow but steady process of self destruction of the planet as we know it to be simply by us not being around anymore to witness its recovery, this is evolution, the cycle of high and lows, life and death and the Dance of Shiva and the blow of the Trumpets in the skies, Yes on the Darker side of things I must admit that I am far from free of this realm as much as I wish to. Just like the rest of you I am here and dancing along...Be here Now! I can hear Ram Dass shouting, and The Power of Now, its significance trancendence power as Eckhart Tolle expounded and Alan Watts, 'This Is It!' Are you still following me?
When on a spiritual journey as I believe I am guilty of, most of my life, one can expect small miracles to happen out of the blue and in nowhere places, accept these as your bonuses with a quiet smile and praise be to the Lord! Give your thanks immediately before you turn the miracle into your own magic, be thankful, Alhamdullilah! I like to milk my thinking mind into expressing itself as much as it wants to and this is what it is doing; the mind is on and expression mode. The lower back pain is screaming for attention, the problem of sitting too long. So I thought why not see what gives first the mind or the lower back for me to quit this posting. As i said, mind loves to tell tales and makes up stories and often than not they all end in a melodramatic scenario of pain and sorrow, this why the Buddha said life is a pain in the lower back. Not exactly in those words but close, He meant to say that Life is Suffering, look at it anyway you suffer for as long as you happily in the realm of pain and suffering you are fine. But life is also Impermanence where all things in life comes to an end or changes, transform from one state to the next, nothing remains except that you call "I." That which you identify yourself with, the who you are as you understand yourself to be. How near or far are you from The Pearly Gates? How well you have understood what is Sunyata the Essence of the Buddha's Teachings,
Oh Shariputra, 'Forms does not differ from Emptiness,
Emptiness does not differ from Form,
Form is Emptiness, Emptiness if form. ....The Heart Sutra.
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