Rambling of the past and prestent.

I was once called in by the Principal of The Methodist Boys Secondary School where Karim, my son attended. he was a difficult student needless to say, no better than his dad at his age. Anyway there we were in the Principal's office along with Karim's class teacher and his counselling  teacher, the Principal, a tall Chinese gentleman and myself. He had a long cane across his table and he was grilling me about my responsibilities I had towards my children. It came to a point where he mentioned that if i cannot afford to live in Georgetown I should move out to where it is much cheaper to live, like across the channel, out of the Island, this was how my mind read him and I blew up. Thank God I did not grab the cane and used it on him, I was tempted, but then I thought how it would look like to my children and so I talked to him.

I told him to get off his high horse and he had no right to tell me how to and where to live my life. That I was born here not too far from the school and that my Grand Uncle, we called him Martin Sia, was the caretaker of the school for most of his life and died at the school worker's quarters. That my grand Father had left a legacy in the form murals covering the walls of the Mahinderama, Buddhist Temple across the street not too far from the school. I told him that I had lived and raised my children in the UNited States and Japan and the rest of the story. He and the two ladies were stumped and that was taht. Karim made it through without killing himself or trapped into bad habits other than most probably smoke a cigarette with his buddies after school.  He had just lost his mother ...the rest is his-story, as they say. Karim now I am proud to say becoming a very good salesman in the phone industry. 

The incident jarred my mind to slow down and awaken to some simple truth life and living in the city, the real deal, the naked truth about reality, this was it; I had to reevaluate myself . come up with a strategy for survival for the three of us, including my daughter, and her's is another story. I watched and helped my tow children find themselves as best i could, I trusted them to do what they feel is right and only if they have doubts do I get to help them. What was most important was that I was always there if and when they needed me. Just as i had longtime accepted life as an experiment, theirs are part of this experiment. I watched i observe and I take action if and when I have to, in order to help ease their growth. I was never a good provider for my children after their mother's departure from the country back  to the United States; she was diagnosed suffering fro Rapid Dementia a more serious from of Alzheimer's disease. To dwell back on these memory lanes is one of my mind's favorite pastime is and the theme never changes and the outcome is supposed to reveal a lesson, a revelation you might say. 

And I would quote one of my favourite quotes from the Old Boy, Lao Tzu,
"A man who justifies,
Does not convince,
Not even to himself."

This another thing the mind enjoys oing, justifying its own existence through experiences of every moment in time and space of the past and the present, the mind has yet to be to project itself into the future although it may happen in dreams while sleeping, not really proven but,a possibility as the human brain is a "pandora box" that if and when opened it has to be done one step at a time, with geat patience and strong moral and physical fibre. When proper aligned and balanced in all elements and energy matter, the human brain unleashed can wrought havoc in the psyche; most goes insane, living most of their lives talking to themselves or sitting and staring at the wall. Giving it a name we call it Zazen or Sitting Meditation. Off course there are other forms of healing practices that cna help one in the times of need, like listening to TED talk or to Satsang   on You Tube. Take up Yoga is what i fully recommend for those who are looking for the way out of this trap we call life. Use the Internet to help you make your choices and  try to adopt a practice that you feel will be most healing for you. It does not have to be a Sufi school or dervish dances, it does not have to be any system, create your own, but make sure it is for what it is, healing.