Getting closer to the truth.

All these while I have been moaning and groaning over my lot all really for nothing as the very thing that i sought is right before me or more like right within me, staring back at me. The pains the pleasures, the dramas the episodes, the thirst and the denial of life is all part and parcel of this moment of seeing myself staring back at me; this is who i am or what i have thus far become, at least for now. The question now is where or what do i intend to do with what I have come to realize about my self, how far or how near do i want to explore this time and space now that i am in touch with my inner nature; create my own reality? I can sit and watch the grass grow or i can scale greater heights into the mysteries of the Universe and behold my Lord's Creation with greater clarity. I can hone my mind and body to such a degree that i can welcome death itself with Love and Right Understanding and not through fear and confusion. Perhaps in the end i can enter the void, (Fana' as in Islam) and merge at one with the Lord of Creation; InnaLillahi Wa'inna Lillahi Ra'jiun. From Him I came to Him I will return. 
Islam in my understanding is Monotheistic religion that professes the Unity of the One Creator and Lord of the Universe...Only The Lord Exist (Yang Maha Wujud), the rest including myself are ephemeral manifestations of His beingness. As soon as my purpose is served as soon the purpose of this existence itself is fulfilled all returns into Him. For as long as i cling on to this idea of I, me and mine I am still lost in duality and thus the cause of my suffering in this life. As long as i cling on to this physical and material realm i am anchored to the floor struggling to attain liberation from my own self created bondage. There are no walls, no cage no chains that is holding me down except my own blind ignorance of who I truly am.
I am no larger or smaller than the next guy, but I am slowly but surely awakening to realizing my own true being as i was created and meant to be; a vessel of the divine, a tool of the Master of All Creations, I am a servant and I serve His Divine Will. Loaded words, yes, but with full conviction as i am through with pussy footing on the matter of my very being who I am and what are my potentials and possibilities inherent within me. Insha'Allah by His Will I will manifest all that has been rightfully empowered within me and that has thus far laid hidden through my own blindness and ignorance. I may not cure the sick and the blind nor may i create wine out of water, but I am ready to take on the mantle of a Bodhisatva in this life and fulfill my vows to help awaken sentient beings through self realization and self healing. 
I call upon all my Gurus, Teachers and Mentors, my Friends and Loved Ones to bear witness that this soul has taken the vows and will walk the life of servitude towards all sentient beings  in the six realms, the ten directions, past present and future. In the name of the All Mighty Allah Subhana Huwata'ala, in all His Beautiful Names and Attributes, I take my refuge. Within this form I call my body is the 'Temple of the Living God', He is closer to me than the jugular vein in my neck . There is nothing that I perform that is not from His Bleesings and His Grace and he is Oft, Forgiving and Merciful, All Loving Lord of the Universe. 
Ameen!