The Greater Jihad - The war Within.

When you listen to the ancient sound of the flute play in the wind with its tunes floating through the forest and valleys, don't you feel like you are Lord Krishna? With all the beautiful Gopis chasing after you and how you entertain them soothing their souls from the trappings of Mara the shadow. When asked the flute how it got to be so blessed that the Godhead blows His breath through its entire body and entertain this realm of Maya. The flute answered, "I am but a humble hollow reed and the Lord but blows his breath through me that He may entertain Himself while keeping an eye over existence itself." Life is a dance, a play, a performance with each and everyone of us has a role to play from our cradle to our grave, life is God's own masterpiece in His Creation, Life is God playing hide and seek with Himself, what else can God do being all by Himself; humanity is the Lord's killing fields and His garden of milk and honey, heaven and hell. Where I stand in the matter is that I am beginning to have a clear understanding of how far or how near I am to the truth, where what is real and what is unreal, what is eternal and what is with and ending, what is form and what is the formless in the true sense of the word understand is to my estimation. However,"The show must go on" as the lyric goes in one of Pink Floyd's songs,and for so long as I am breathing in and out this particular show will go on, in its own time and space; we each play our own roles and make a movie happen collectively.

More and more talks of the planet we are living in is sick and needs to be healed including it inhabitants especially humanity and more and like minded people are getting together the spiritual nature of this our spiritual growth sustainably alongside that of our material to have a strong check and balance over what is and what s not permissible in the code of humanity dictum. I feel we have to come completely out of our shell instead of just sneaking our necks out when it is safe out there; To pull our heads out of the sand and pay greater attention of what is going on around us, how we are self destructing ourselves along with the rest of this our home. We are self fulfilling creatures, mankind,we love the tragedy, we are proud of our history and make it into great movies.  we are a collective part of the whole scene, each doing our own thing, minding our own business and and we live or call it living our days out making a mark here and there and call it a legacy; tragedy is our most favorite and common theme that we as humans like to write about, brag about, sing about, tell our grandchildren about; where was I during the Second World War? or where was I on the day 13th.of May 1969? Where were you living during the COVID19 pandemic? 

The Prophet of Allah, (pbu), is said to have said that mankind has to fight two wars and this second war is his greater Jihad, the Jihad against your own Nafs or ego, your shadow, your darker nature your anger, your pain, your sorrows will all be used against you by your ego; the ego will not and cannot be removed quite as easily as it is an entity that I myself has created over the years or throughout my life. Th ego is who I think myself into being who I am, believing that I am this physical form and that this dual thinking mind is who I am;  Someone said once that to be a great artist or at anything for that matter a small amount of egocentric is needed. One who without an ego is one that is walking this earth in limbo, between heaven and hell, light and darkness, sky and earth, That there may be saints or even Prophets, the perfect man, AlInsan Kamil, is one in a few thousand years, perhaps in the next Yuga when the age of our evolution as a specie on this Planet or in this realm and dimension will take a turn for better or worse; we have to fall upon the spiritual teachings of the ages and find a common ground we all can stand on as a collective force in spirit. A very rare and purified diamond, a splinter of light that has been purified in hell's flames; an egoless man was the Buddha, Shakyamuni Gautama , the Historical Buddha; After countless eons legend has it that the  Buddha incarnated for the final round of experiencing life as a human being and find out the truth about the nature of life, death and rebirth; Why? This is the question that confronts the ego asks ultimately and will not cease to pursue for a truth that can explain where we stand as human beings on this Planet, or even if we deserve to be here after all the waste we have created in our wake...our human experience.

#lordkrishna,#buddhashakyamuni,#thegreaterjihad,#covid10

 

What is meditation in Action.

 The call to do some form of proper practice in meditation came to me one day in the print making studio at UWGB where the print making club members were busy polishing plate, keep watchful eyes on the acid bath, drawing fine likes on the copper plates.... I was standing bside an elderly member of the group a Mrs. Rossela Kelly, perhaps in her late sixties , we were both busy polishing our copper plates and she elbowed me and said out of the blue, Sam, I think it time for you to make a change!" Yes I believe so, Madame!" I replied without hesitation. My son, Dennis is being ordained a Zen Monk in New York and is planning on opening his own Center, why don't you go and join him." Two weeks or so later I was in Sausalito. San Francisco Bay Area helping Dennis to open his ZenYoga Center at Corte Madeira, Marin County, Ca. I can say that Dennis was my first Zen Instructor, friend and spiritual elder Brother. Despite what happened later in our relationship, I still hold him to be one of the best gift as a Guru, I could not ask for a better 'Nutcase', to crack my consciousness wide open when I needed it most. Dennis Junpo Kelly went on to become an abbot of his own Zen school, The Hollow Bones Zen. To me Dennis is one of those westerners worthy to wear the robes of a Rinzai Zen Master and teach the Way of Zen in the Rinzai Tradition.

Although for a very short time, I was initiated and became a member of the Zen community of the SF Bay Area by Dennis who coached me in the meditation as well as the 'Guirilla Yoga' techniques Ashtanga Yoga; Dennis was a student of B.K.S Iyengar. One can easily Google for more detailed information on this and will undoubtedly prove a useful knowledge. Dennis was at the time a very impressively built handsome man and commanded respect from all his peers. Having spent three years castrated at the San Quentin Federal Penitentary for drug related issues, upon his release chose the spiritual path which took him to India and Sri Lanka where he studied Yoga and meditation practices. He was a true self made man who took on life grabbing the bull by its horns and I was awed and inspired by his presence. 

One day while about to enter the Green Gulch Farm Zen Center Dennis turned to me and shouted out of the blue, "Bahari San! What is an imperturbable mind?" I was given my first Zen Koan to work with whether it was intentional or not and the question was imprinted into my consciousness till today. Whenever I thought of my first Zen Teacher these words comes into my mind and I would meditate on it as a subject to ponder upon and it has seen me through many a circumstances late in my life. Although we parted ways in the worse possible ways one can imagine, I still hold a high regard for my teacher and friend, who took me under his wings and set me on a course towards my own self liberation. He may not forgive me for what had transpired between us that involved his teacher, Eido Shimano Roshi, the only regret  I have is that I had lost a great opportunity to transcend my self deluded egocentric nature possibly if I had I stuck with Dennis in his quest to propagate Rinzai Zen in America...that is another story; but the Dharma works in mysterious ways too.

 It was at green Gulch Farm Zen Community that  was able to do my time as a Zen student for almost two years straight. It was there that I learned to sit and to listen, to heal and become in tune with others who had similar karmic debts like  did to work out. It was at Green Gulch that I discovered my unbounded Buddha Nature, my strength and weaknesses. It was here that I was able to pull myself out of the rut that I was in prior to my life in San Francisco; I owed the Zen community back then my life and forever am indebted to the Teachers and fellow students who I had the opportunity to work with. My gratitude goes out to my Teacher Paul Disco and Blanch Hartman, Ed Brown and several fellow brothers and sisters in the Zen community who were able to accept me despite the fact that I was incorrigible to begin with. Among these practitioners I learned about who I am and where my destiny lies; Gasho! 

"Meditation, if it is real, is an act of Love, of becoming Love, of the commitment to Be Love and to renounce the desire for Love and the objects upon which we project our Love and to make us proxies and substitutes for Love. We must accept no substitute...The first step in meditation is to become free from belief.

" - Sunyamurti Teaching @ Sat Yoga Ashram.

#greengulchzencommunity, #sunyamurtiteaching,#iyengaryoga,#rinzaizen,#satyogaashram, #meditation

  

    

Meditate on this...

 My trip to Alaska was accompanied by two worthwhile books to read along the way, one was called," at the Foothills of Georgia" or something like that by G.I.Gurdgief.  and the other was called the "Raja Yoga" by Swami Vivekananda. How I came by these is  another story,By this time I was steep into pursuing all there was to know about meditation, spirituality, religions and the inner workings of my being. I had just graduated from the University of Wisconsin at Gtreen Bay, (UWGB) and with no sense of what to do with myself on a whim decided to take a challenge to head out for Alaska on a one way ticket. I had by then been acquainted with the works of J. Krishnamurti and Alan Watts, the works of Philip Kapleau and Baba Ram Dass, I read Paramahamsa Yogananda and D.T. Suzuki and G.I. Gurdjief among others while working at the University library and so I was well on my way towards having some sense of what I was getting into as far as my spiritual quest was concern. Hence I made my meditation practice as the safety blanket that i carried around with me while embarking into the unknown territories of the West and  Alaska. By then, being in a state of meditation came naturally to me and I often drift away from the crowd to find a quiet spot to sit back and recoup. A small stream in the woods in Tenaway Valley in Cle Alum, Washington State, or a roadside rest area along the highway to Butte, Montana. I often found the peace and comfort within me after sitting quietly by myself and what was more important  was the ability to face all the trials and tribulations that laid before me on this arduous journey and as a matter of fact I often looked forward to what was in store for me instead of being afraid.

I was often asked if I was not scared of getting hurt or killed, being lost or too poor to keep myself alive while on my journey and my answer was always the same, I had given myself up to my Lord and whatever happen to me for better or worse was His doing and I accepting. The only fear I had was not fulfilling my unwritten destiny which often led me to go through life unplanned and often chaotic. My one big salvation was my faith was in the All Mighty to whom I had once in my teenage years out of sheer despair pointed my middle finger up at Him and screamed. F..k You! in the middle of night. It was after this sacrilegious act of defiance that I had let myself go and became short of demonic in my take on life. I knew back then that i was destined to roam the earth a sinner like, "The Wandering Jew". curse by Christ to live forever,never to taste death. When I left my home and country I felt like i was  self exiled, castrated from my own kind and vowed never to look back no matter the consequences and so I kept burning the bridges behind me and this exactly was my state of mind when I left Green Bay. Wisconsin for Sandpoint, Alaska and along with some cash I had managed to beg and scrounge around were the two books that I had on me: I was in my early thirties.

Being on the road, living life from the fringe, I finally began to realize was my meditation practice; I was like a suniasin a sadhu, a mendicant monk travelling from one point to another simply because it was what i had to do in order to stay sane if not attain to some form of spirituality for my wounded soul. The only difference being I set upon a journey on the dark side of my nature, I was an angry man most of my young adult life that had cost me my marriage and ending up loosing my only son back when. I took my anger upon all that I come into contact with, I began to start healing myself through all the different spiritual techniques that would help to become aware of who I truly am. For better or worse I'm waking up from the unreal into the lightness of the real. The anger and sorrow I felt all these years are what created the image that I came to believe of who I am suppose to be. Bit by bit , breath by breath I will keep on peeling away the layers of veils that is around me untill I find the source from where it all began; what greater challenge is there to give oneself while in this human form?

Meditate on This...  

#meditation # G.I.Gurdjief # sandpointalaska #greenbaywisconsin #yoganandaswami #alanwatts #d.t.suzuki

Let's get serious on meditation...part one.

     It takes sometime for the chattering mind to become silent, however it is not impossible and imperative that one be able to silence the incessantly busy mind before the actual or proper state of meditation can happen. This is purely my personal view from my own practice of Zazen or sitting meditation in the Soto Zen tradition of the Zen Patriarch  Dogen Zenji.

Dōgen Zenji, also known as Dōgen Kigen, Eihei Dōgen, Kōso Jōyō Daishi, or Busshō Dentō Kokushi, was a Japanese Buddhist priest, writer, poet, philosopher, and founder of the Sōtō school of Zen in Japan. Wikipedia

Although it is almost impossible to rid the mind of its habitual tendency to chatter, ramble and indulge it all manner of mental formation, it is of utmost importance that one find the space where the mind is silent and be able to observe whatever arise from this quiet space. it is like trying to fall asleep but not wanting to drop off into the sleep state instead to awaken to the fully awaken state of consciousness. What does one hope to achieve from this simple practice is relative to each individual and their own personal understanding. I personally have sought to find the peace and tranquility from my ever so busy and often negative and destructive  egoic mind. I suffer from having an egotistical mental state that has been the cause of many of my faults and failures in life. I also seek to find ways and means to have a good handle on my anger and my fear issues, my low self esteem and my lack of faith in the Divinity of my own being.

My introduction to meditation happened when I was fourteen when my father who was formerly a Buddhist from Sri Lanka before he married my mother and was converted to Islam, saw me sitting in a Yoga posture and told me to study Yoga and practice meditating. I took his advice and sat facing the South China Sea every chance I had staring at the horizon from the beach of the East Coast state of Terengganu. Later at the age of sixteen I joined the Malay martial arts of Silat Seni Gayung and was further encouraged to develop my sense of 'inner engineering' to develop a spiritual capacity for getting in touch with spirit guides that the art features. The art of ''Menurun" or "Peturun', was a form of spiritual trance that one gets into and be possessed by spirit guides or what we used to call spiritual buddies in the martial art. It was inadvertently a part of the martial arts practice to be able to bring the mind into a focus or quiet state to allow for the inner or subconscious being to manifest itself in every moves made while in combat.  In its purest form this state of mindless consciousness was developed and practiced by the Japanese Samurai warrior when using the Katana.

As a teenager growing up along the East Coast I was also very much into free diving in and around the islands off the coast collecting exotic sea shells a a hobby. Diving under water for a long period of time without using any Scuba equipment can be an awakening experience as one becomes lost in time and the mind forget that it was not breathing due to being attracted by the beauty of the corals and exotic fishes one can be lost in what divers called oxygen narcosis, or something to that effect. Although it is not as serious when free diving but one can still feel the change in ones state of mind like becoming intoxicated or high underwater. While in this state I found the mind the mind to be very quiet and deeply focused upon what was around me which was one of the reasons I loved free diving. I wouls tempt fate by hovering like an eagle just above a coral bed and lost myself in time just watching the corals and fishes around me. This was how I felt about beeing in a deep meditative state of consciousness where time and space is lost and only a state of being is present.

Yet later on in my life when I moved to Green Bay, Wisconsin and was exposed to the Wisconsin winter my state of consciousness took a new heightened state as the stark whiteness and the silence of the snow covered landscape posited my mind on deep freeze. Meditating in the cold snow covered landscape or sitting before a warm fireplace during the winter months took my meditation practice to a higher or deeper level as by now I found the literature and studies done on meditation from the University library at UWGB. The sense of awesomeness, of pure silence and stark whiteness and freezing cold that chills your bones of the winter landscape of Wisconsin was like being in a state of hibernation of body and mind. Sometimes I can be found sitting on a rock facing Lake Michigan stretching like a white field into the horizon where it was hard to tell where the sky meets the earth. Sometimes you can find me sitting at my window of the old farm house on Humboldt Road gazing at the stretch of corn field as far as the yes can see like a sea of undulating endless green in summer. When the colors of autumn leaves comes along I would find myself absorbed, mesmerized by the sea of colors that stretches from one end to the other as I stood viewing the fall leaves from the top of the Ski Ramp at Iron Mountain , Michigan, where my landlord, Leon P. Lodl and I would make a trip every weekend to work on an old church he had bought and was converting it to a ski lodge.

#zazenmeditation,#greenbaywisconsin,#uwgb,#ironmountainmichigan,#southchinasea,#dogenzenji

to be contd.

  

The Buddha goes Live .

   As the Lunar calendar of the Chinese New Year approaches I feel like my time has arrived to tear myself through the China house and shatter this illusion called 'My life' as the final act of defiance as an Ox born; I am going live on You Tube to tell my story. Yes I am evolving from my sketch book journals to my Blogging and now to videos exposing the lives and times of the Cheeseburger Buddha; the stubborn old fool who refuses to give up and fade away quietly into the night. No Sir, this bull of an ox has still got some steam left to kick up a storm among those whose minds are open and genuine enough to share the journey of one who has lived life according to his own rhythm and blues. The journey of self discovery, a journey set about since 1978 when I first decided to keep an ongoing journal/sketch book upon making a trip to England. My first journal after all these years is still with me to remind of my resolution to keep an ongoing journal of my life as an artist, a father, a husband, and the rest.

Telling it as it is with no holds barred except whne what i reveal might incriminate myself or harm others in any way, I will be as honest as I possibly can to share the truth of what it has been like and what it was all meant to be; my life, the quest to realize who I truly am beyond name and form. To share my strength and weaknesses, pleasures and sorrows, my spiritual growth and my decadence of spirit; how far or how near am I towards my self liberation from the cycle of life and death and rebirth as the Buddha had revealed. This has been a journey of self healing. a journey of unveiling of the broken or splintered spirit since the day I was born, an unwanted child given up for adoption and raised for twelve years of my child hood as a Buddhist in a Muslim household and community. This is my story, a story of pain and anger, shame and guilt growing up living on the periphery of life for fear of being abused and ridiculed; how I became a demon in my early years, I grew in to an adult life a very angry entity with a very low self esteem and destructive nature.

Try as hard as I could I still have problem discarding my deep rooted karmic past, my anger and psycho-emotional baggage have become so much a apart of me that I sometimes thought of ending my life prematurely which I attempted on two separate occasions in the past. These are my stories to be unveiled as they arise or if and when they arise accordingly as this is how my mind function or so I have observed over the years. I also realize that these episodes and dramas of my past experiences will continue on to haunt me until I can uproot them completely through self revelation or in short an open confession not before a priest or a psychiatrist but before humanity itself.

Having been converted to Islam at the age of twelve when I was returned to my parents to be raised as such on the the East Coast state of Terengganu, I accepted God as Allah and when I call out to Him in my darkest hours I always call out Ya Allah, Ya Rab, and my only prayer to Him is and has always been Astarghfirrullah al GhafurruRahim. I only sk for His mercy and Forgiveness as I know fully well what a sinner i have been throughout my life. However having been raised a Buddhist for twelve of my childhood years has an impact upon my faith and practice throughout my life and this have been one critical aspect of my lifelong journey, an issue I have been trying to bring to a conciliation and conclusion. 

Thus as stubborn as my nature is I shall keep on plodding towards understanding the whole nature of my existence or what makes me who I am. I put no blame upon others no matter what the circumstances mat be nor do I apologize for what I have committed as this is my journey and mine alone towards the seat of the Lord of Power to Whom I will answer all my transgressions as I present my final analysis, a final portfolio of this journey. But for the Love and grace of my Lord I would have definitely ended in an insane asylum or ended my own life prematurely for I had on any occasions stood on the precipice and stared into the emptiness before me with  a sense of loneliness and despair, often my journals and writings has been there as reminders for me of why I am who I am, my purpose if not responsibility of being on this life's highway.

"Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them.

Delusions are inexhaustible, I vow to end them.

The Dharma Gates are boundless, I vow to enter them.

The Buddha's Way is unsurpassed I vow attain it."

Insha'Allah.

Fear - a poem by Khalil Gibran

It is said that before entering the sea
a river trembles with fear.

She looks back at the path she has traveled,
from the peaks of the mountains,
the long winding road crossing forests and villages.

And in front of her,
she sees an ocean so vast,
that to enter
there seems nothing more than to disappear forever.

But there is no other way.
The river can not go back.

Nobody can go back.
To go back is impossible in existence.

The river needs to take the risk
of entering the ocean
because only then will fear disappear,
because that’s where the river will know
it’s not about disappearing into the ocean,
but of becoming the ocean.

 

Of Love

Love, perfect, complete and unconditional Love for the Self, for all sentient beings, for the Planet and the Cosmos Itself; is a tough act to follow that only a divine nature or God is capable of. This is the original goal and this is the journey of a 'broken soul' seeking to heal itself and become whole again and one with its creator, Insha'Allah, God willing. Nothing else matters as all else is just the background of my existence, all else is just food and fodder for the growth and replenishment of being in the here and now. The body, the mind, time and space are all the props stage for the self expression of this soul while on this plane of existence, this plane that is a self created illusion, an ephemeral stage of being, of impermanence and of life and decadence. LOVE is the only Truth that can ferry me across to the distant shore and consciousness and compassion are the paddles that drives the boat forward. Where would I be without Love.

I look forward to this Year of the Ox with greater determination to complete my journey of self discovery and redemption, to bring to an amicable ending of the Journey of the Cheeseburger Buddha. I have trodden, crawled on my hand and knees, I have tasted the best the worst that life has to offer for this 70 odd years and now I am reborn into the next phase of cleaning up my past and grow further into my future with a greater sense of awareness and inherent joy for myself and the rest of the Universe; it is time to give back that which I have been given, this sense of awakening; Beings are numberless, I vow to awaken with them. The first of the Bodhisattva Vows is still burning in my heart, the will and desire to help others through whatever means I am capable of and become the ferryman that leads others in need towards the other shore. I serve my Lord through servitude towards my fellow creatures through Loving Kindness.  

"A human being is part of the whole. called by us the 'Universe'         , a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts aan feelings as something separated from the rest. a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature and its beauty. Nobody is able to achieve this completely, but the striving to such attainment is in itself is a part of liberation, a foundation for inner security."                                                                                                 A. Einstein.

As I have often enough mentioned in my entire Blog, my intention has been to clean up or erase my thoughts of past memories of all the transgressions I have committed, the stains of my errors that has chained me to this realm of existence. There is no more sense in looking back for justification except in acceptance of what has already been and learning to break free from the tentacles of these errors committed through ignorance. I have done my spring cleaning and house keeping as best I could and by exposing these errors and weaknesses I hope to free myself from their karmic consequences. It is a journey of self confession with the hope that it would help to heal this splintered soul through acceptance, right understanding and awakening to what is the real from the unreal. It is a journey of inner purification uprooting deep rooted karma committed from beginning of time. It has been and still is a terribly lonely and tedious journey of self introspection, a journey towards self liberation. It took me over seventy years to learn how to truly love my self, to trust and love others and to offer my spirit in the servitude to God.

" If you want unconditional love, become a dog." - SadhGuru.

                                                 

My 2 cents worth on the New Administration in the USA.

Another President comes into power to sit in the White House's Oval Office and lead the country into the future that is full of uncertainties and tribulations like no other President before him has ever inherited this Seat of ultimate Power in history; can he do it? He can if he does not brush his vice president aside from making decisions for she is the potential thinker and decision maker behind the throne; she has the potential to become the problem solver for the President. However if ego has its way and the President allows his to stand in the way of common sense and true form of justice to uplift the people's spirit that is at present at its lowest ebb, then this administration is going to sink into a sinkhole just like the one before. The new President has to drop politics and embrace social and humanistic recovery like a mother and not a Patriarch who insists upon wars and force to overcome simple domestic turmoils; this President has to listen more so than let his personal thoughts be heard; he has to listen to the heartbeat of the Nation and not the politicians. Howevr it is the fact that a woman has been chosen as the Vice President and a one who is of colored heritage is definitely a key factor in the run of the Biden administration; my two cents worth.

So much for the US Presidential inauguration comment for now, had to do it simply cause i owe it to myself having lived there for 31 years of my life. It was the Nixon and Gerald Ford years when I was there if I am not mistaken, remembered the Watergate and President Ford take over way back when. Like everyone else I love America while at the same time hate it for all the wrong decisions made by the administrations though the years especially thse that had led to a few major wars around the world. Even before I emigrated from Malaysia to the state of Wisconsin sometime in 1974 I was already in love with the country because of President John E Kennedy through his worldwide program of the Peace Corp Volunteers and I had a few secondary school teachers as result who came from the US to teach at my school and one was an Art teacher from Iowa who inspired me. Yes, America was a home away from home and was almost a permanent home for me had I not decided that settling down permanently in the country was a meaningless experience for one who aspired to become a 'Globe Trotter', artist, I needed to return to my starting point and be able to look back and reflect, to compare and evaluate my life as an artist; how far or how near have I arrived at accomplishing my goals of no goal. 

God gave me a canvas and told me to pain my life as I see fit and at the end of my days He will take a look and tell me what he thinks of my Art of Living, as an artist. How i have spent my years and what have I accomplished that i can be proud of or had I wasted my life living a life of mediocrity, being led by the nose along with everyone else like sheep headed for the slaughter house. I took God's offer as a challenge and spun my own series of episodes that had led me to live my life far beyond my means and expectation, living in three different parts of the world and tasting the diverse cultural existence that not too many from my village could have tasted. Had I accepted the offer for me to bacome a US citizen back when I would have settle down somewhere in the country and become just another Tom, Dick and Harry with the same story of living the American Dream of a 9 to 5 life and of hot dog and apple pie, nothing wrong but simply not my cup of tea. I hope and pray that America will rise to greater heights under this new administration and that as promised by the new President, a whole lot of healing and unity shall prevail for the sake of the Nation. It would be a shame for a beautiful country to sink any deeper than she already has becasue of poor administration.   

   

 

 

COVID19 - when enough is enough.

 

During this challenging days of the COVID19 era, I must say I am more fortunate than most in finding my routine t face the day to day preoccupation of my daily presence. I am grateful for the blessings I have been showered with, the small miracles that things happen as I would hope them to with the most of ease, with minor vexations to face. I gave up all hope of improving myself if not better understand who I truly and how or what my purpose is in livng this life for the past 70 odd years, In truth I am beginning to see that my life's intention has been materializing little by little and I am closer and closer towards knowing my true nature. I hope and pray that this is not yet just another illuson i am creating for myself and even if it is, I pray from deep in my heart and my souls that I do catch a glimpse of the truth that i seek; that I do know my Lord up close and personal for me Allah, (God), is the only truth there is and worth sacrificing my life for in the effort to fully realize this in my mind, body and soul. I will use the word God as I write instead of Allah for self revealing reasons and not out of any other belief otherwise. 

Today I learned of the hardships that many are facing in their daily lives during this pandemic from one of my nephews. How those who own businesses are closing up shop and how things are getting more expensive to afford inorder to run a business. Everyone at all levels are facing a crunch and the poor and needy are the front-liners of this pandemic victims. The virus itself does not do as much damage as the attempt at finding the proper system of containment of the pandemic itself. The power that be in this country has practically thrown down the towel in the handling of the crisis while the nation is facing a political and economic turmoil. It is like hitting the panic button before the need to with snap decisions being made based on political expediences rather than facing  the real threat with complete awareness and transparency ; accepting the fact that we need to act with complete determination towards what we as a nation are facing. There is no other factors especially not the political bickering between unsatisfied political parties, we as a nation whose lives and livelihood are at stake will have to wake up sooner than later to the dire reality that we are up against; we are living in a sick global society.

The fortunate and the well to do, at least materially speaking, will most assuredly shake their heads and frown at just another some what bleak look at where we are at as a humanity, but the poor and down trodden, those who barely makes ends meet have begun to buckle under the unprecedented stress the state we are in presently and this I am speaking of globally. To say we are on the brink f extinction is not too far fetched most observers of the fate of humanity would reluctantly agree as we as a specie is no doubt set on a course of a monumental collision with our own egocentric nature; the "Tower" is about to collapse from too much top heavy. We have been building an inverted pyramid unlike our predecessors; ours are build upon a foundation or Greed, Hate and Ignorance, while supporting an illusory dream world for the benefit of the few. Our world is way off balance and is gradually toppling over despite all the efforts to prop it up by artificial means. We as a specie endowed with capacity to think has abused our God given trait and allowed our personal ego to run the show for self gratification and we call it, survival of the fittest. Enough is never enough, violence has become the mode of problem solving while ignorance as bliss is the norm.

Where do we turn to in these times of great challenges? As is said, behind every dark cloud is a silver lining or there is a light at the end of the tunnel  We can hope and pray that there is. However hoping an prayers is not enough to cut through this conundrum we are in, we need to venture into deeper levles of our consciousness and bring out the best in us collectively; we have to unchan ourselves from this bondage of feeling that we are defeated or helpless. We have to seek that wisdom lost in dealing with our inner self in how to cope and turn around what is negative into positive, turn this catastrophe into a victory for the soul of humanity Lesson are being put forth for us to redeem ourselve from our errors and amendments are to be made to rectify our mistakes and know that God is on our side. We have to realize the truth behind the veils of falsehood and delusions created to dismember us, we have to forge that unity to be able to stand and say enough is enough.     

  

My two cents worth on how to clean up our mess.- you can start by doig your own dishes.

We are living in a country run by Marshal Law and a failed government that has taken the easy way out by laying it all down into the hands of the King and the soldiers. The economy is slip sliding into an economic meltdown and the people are definitely not happy to say the least. The state of emergency declared by the King under the advice of the ruling government is not going t help much towards making things any better, worse perhaps, better no. The call for national lock down due to the pandemic is like putting a plug to a pressure cooker about to explode due to overheating from within. A valve is what is needed to release the built up pressure, however the valve that was implemented for this purpose is non-functional and thus we can be looking forward to a major blowout if things keeps on heading in this same direction; there is only so much a pressure cooker can take.

There is no sense in moaning and groaning if one cannot offer any form of insight or creative suggestions towards providing a solution to help ease the pressure. Hence my two cents worth; firstly we as a nation have to act collectively in a clean up operation; we have to put our house in order, massive housekeeping project has to be carried out and no excuses not to do so. In any major construction industry the slogan, Safety First is displayed at the most crucial points at the site. Most contractors would look upon it with disdain as it cost them time and money where Safety is concern, however, many lives and would be fatal accidents were avoided due to Safety regulations and a sense of collective mutual respect was achieved in the same process. I am talking from over ten years of working experience in the field of work safety; it is not a matter of just making sure no one gets hurt or the environment is not harmed, it is strong psychological glue that can bond people together as a collective whole.; Safety is a state of Mind, your and mine, together we can make it happen.

House Keeping is the first step to any Safety Rule for only through a good housekeeping practice can the overall function of any construction site will run smoothly. Good housekeeping is like  walking into a Wall Mart or a Safeway shopping mall where all is in order and easily excess-able in plain sight with plenty of room for excess and egress; this is what a country has to have implemented as part of its infra structure. Housekeeping simply put will clean up every nook and cranny, underneath the bed and the carpets, no secrets and no hidden agendas is not exposed into the ight and dispose off; a good housekeeping will clean and clear up the air and we can breath better.

We are not only living in an environmental deplorable state but we are also living in a massive denial mental mode while trapped in a warped spiritual and religious conundrum; our house needs to be fumigated and vacuumed and mopped from top to bottom. What is so drastic about cleaning up your closets, making your own bed and cleaning your toilets and your bedrooms and your yard and your neighborhood and your city and your country? The journey of a thousand Lis begins where the heart is; think locally and act globally and all that stuff. You are not breaking any laws nor are you sitting at home like a pigeon moaning and groaning your fate. You are living in a cell due to all the restrictions and constrictions, and then there is the Military, the Police and the Civil Defense and especially 'RELA'! all are unleashed to make life extra miserable for us; what have we got to loose? Lets grab a broom and garbage bags and start our mission our first step towards self reliance and the future of our country. If you catch my drift, good, if you think this is a joke well, I'll let you settle comfortably numb in your own state of self serving state of delusion while they fumigate your home and your whole neighborhood with toxic fumes of God knows what in order to protect you and your children from any other pandemic than the COVID19.         

How does Music affect your consciousness?

 There is a rhythm to life just as there is a rhythm to the movement of the cosmos and the flow of water down the river from the mountain tops to the sea. There is a rhythm to the human physical and mental state that to most is imperceptible while to others is like a boy  in the hood walking down his street with a boombox on his shoulder.. It is imperative that one has to imbued into one's consciousness an orchestra or a Bob Marley and the Wailers tune, that one might find the rhythm of one's flow in life. The rhythm by which you move your physical body as well as your inner energy and your mental state in synchronicity is vital towards the groove  of your physical, mental and spiritual equilibrium,A balance neither too far to the left or right, too high or too low, too wide or too narrow and so forth; the middle way is this way. In order to keep the vital energy flowing and the body and mind rejuvenated the inner rhythm has to be kept in motion and this can be in the form of resonance or rhythmic sound; OMMMM! or the Star Wars Theme of John Willams, theme from  Hans Zimmer's The  Last Samurai  Sound in the right frequency and orchestrated to perfection  when introduced to the brain can act as a source of rhythm that stimulates your cells in the brain and the rest of the physical body. Just as a repetitious movement like whirling in a circle as performed by the dervish can awaken our inner rhythm and allow for the free flow of pure energy throughout the physical as well as the spiritual consciousness.

Without any sense of a rhythm one function in a herky jerky kind of motion, stumbling back and forth with every step you take and every decision you make.A movie without its proper soundtrack is not complete.There is a lack of spontaneity that is present in motions moved without a sense of rhythm, the mind is often lost in its chaotic random rise and fall of unconnected thoughts. Musicians are often in deep state of meditative trance when performing their music as thoughts are not necessary and often and impediment to the smooth flow of their performances. Dancers are often lost in fluid motion allowing their bodies to flow with the vibrations of the sound of music or the tapping of a drum alone. The repetitious rhythm of a tune when listened can transport one into an alternate state of being from the one one is trapped become stagnated in, just a any form of drug would. Its hypnotic effect on the mental state will trigger a change that opens up new and uncharted states of consciousness if one is open to it. "Sahale - Djinn a 'Techno music form produced by Cafe DeAnatolia Ethno World on You Tube is a 6 hour long continuous music is one such transforming vibe that if listened for an extended period of time, The 3 hour long extended version of the Last of the Mohicans is another tune found on You Tube that can create trance-like state of consciousness; or rather a less thought infested mind.

As it is no small matter when trying to empty the mind it is not however impossible and there many ways of getting the mind to become less hectic and chaotic among which off course a meditative state of consciousness is the most preferable if not reliable. However the effects of sound-waves is no small matter when it comes to working with the mind if not the entire physical system where cells are present as cells i strongly believe enjoys the vibration of good music like the hoola girls swaying to the rhythm of the ukulele and native drums, so does the human cells resonates to external good vibes. Imagine it to be like a field of oats or rice swaying in the wind  giving it a sense of  collective spirit or consciousness. Classical Indian music of Ravi Shankar or meditative chants like those performed by the Tibetan monks, or a Gregorian Monastic chant, can evoke a sense of collective consciousness in the mind as well as bringing it to a quiet settled state.of silence and tranquility. We have it within our means to attain these states through employing the technologies available to us and yet most of us do not take advantage of these conveniences, like the You Tube and so forth. 

 

A Belated New Year's Resolution.

 One of my 'New Year's Resolution', as I always mad several each passing year in the past is that  would die and be reborn; I want to be a born again. A born again what? I want to be born again as who I was when I was five or six years of age living as  did in the fifties growing up as child among the mangrove swamp at Kampung Selut, Sungai Pinang. I was born alongside my twin brother sometime in August of 1949, we were born among the mud skippers and century crabs the murai taik and ketam selut, the wild and shrply hutan deruju, a nasty looking bush that looks like the English thistles, the rpickly plants that they hang around doors during Christmas, we were born in a village where the high tide would reach three to four inches just below th surface of the house floors. This is where I would like to be be reborn; #96-H Sungai Pinang Road, Penang.

I would like to die from this physical and be reborn living along with my mother and father, Aunties and Uncles, siblings and cousins; Rumah Nenek or grandma's house., it was called. I would like to be able again to take a swim in the high tides among my chidhood friends every chance i got, catch watter snakes and shoot at unfornuate birds and every creature that was unfortunate enough to become a target with my catapult. Look for Siput  Lokan buried in the mud beneath the Hutan Deruju while getting ierced mercilessly by the the thorns. I would like to fall asleep everynight to the rythm of the old grandfather's clock, tick! tock! tll the the whole village and its denizens false silent. I would like to the shrill call of Burung Murai or magpies and bulbuls, the call of the roosters and throughout the kampung announcing yet another morning to rise and play! Waking up to discover surprises, what the night's high had left behind while I was asleep, a dead duck a torn up doll or a Japanese rubber slipper with a broken strap, the flotsam would often included human waste that was being lifted from the open toilets around the village and delivered to your doorsteps. Yes, I would like to die and be reawaken bakc into my childhood years growing up ni a mangrove swamp. 

My second resolution is to sleep and enjoy my dreams as I wish them to be, now a cowboy in thw Wild West now Tarzan or the Apes in the heart of the African forest, now Morgan the Pirate then Robin Hood, I used to look forward to sleeping at night becaue i had the ability to become the Hero and Director of my own dreams. No mountains too high nor rivers too wide and I could fly, I could fly like the birds that see around when I play around the village. The nights were always dark all around us outside the 'Atap' house buit six feet up in the air mounted on stilts, we had no electricity in my childhood years and the smell of kerosene lamps filled the air as we slept. I could be who I wanted to be in my dreams and for me as a child I learned much from my dreams; I was free to create as much as I wished, whaever roles I chose to enjoy and nightmares were very rare.

These are my two New Year's resolution and silly as it may sound, I could not think of a better desire for a resoluton to make. The rest are minor ones like I will donate my body to the Medical Research Institute for their use upon my death. This I wish to do if feasible in honor of my mother's memory in her struggles against Tuber Culosis spending 9 years of her life at the Lady Templar's General Hospital as case study for TB. For nine years as a lab rat, my mother devoted her time to sewing mostly of teddy bears and rabbits to be donated to the orphans' homes during Christmas. During those nine years we hardly saw her as in those days traveling from Penang to Kuala Lumpur was an undertaking that requires some of money and we could barely imagine as kids. All I can remember was the day we sent her off a the train station in Butterworth, I think it was the first time I saw my first train, what a thrill despite sending my sick mother off to spend 9 years of her life being cut and open in her chest. In her later years my mother carried her scars around with pride as only her smile would betray otherwise every time our eyes met.I could never reach out and hug my mother nor she me and for this I wish to remember her by donating this physical body towards medical research (if it is still acceptable when the time comes.)

Yes, that's about it my New Year's Resolution of this year 2021. I realize that most of it are just wishful thinking, but lets see how much of it will manifest in the course of time. I have lived through some of the most exciting and eventful years in the history of this planet on looking back seventy years from the time my twin brother and I appeared right in the middle of the mangrove swamp known as Kampung Selut, Sungai Pinang, Pulau Pinang. 

  

  

 

 

Farwell 2020 and Happy 2021 and a New Beginning.

 As the 'Vision 2020' passes by most Malaysians are running around in a limbo of uncertainty wondering what lies in store up ahead for everyone. The promise of a wonderful Visionary feat to be achieved by the nation as foresaw by the former long standing Prime Minister, has turned into a political, economic and social blunder with the blessings of COVID-19 pandemic as the icing for the cake. For most the year 2020 will remain the lowest point on the graph that we have recorded as far as how well we are doing. Many are trying hard to be convinced that there is a silver lining in all these, that we are being brought to a slow down shift from the fifth and fourth gear to a third or second gear in our pursuit of our so called happiness. The fast pace, quick fix, get drive through routine of our everyday life is being brought to almost a grinding halt by the pandemic and we are forced most of us to re-evaluate our systems, make adjustments to our mode of operation, become more acquainted with our family and friends and learn to stop taking these people for granted. 2020 has left most of us vulnerably alone removed from the very comfort zones we have been creating for ourselves; like I feel most safe when I am at work.

2020 also provided a reprieve for the well being of Nature and the environment as travel restrictions and various other systems were put on lock down by the COVID-19 pandemic. The environment was givev a breath of fresh air as most of the airlines had to ground their flights due to the lack of users and this has has been proven by studies allowed for significant recovery of the ozone depletion phenomena in the atmosphere. As mass gatherings like weddings and demonstrations of any kind is being put on hold due to the pandemic, there is a significant cut backs in the production of waste materials such as plastic bags and mineral water bottles. The restrictions of human movement and activities by the pandemic may have a slight impact in the resurrection of the well being in Nature as in some small ways the lack of human presence in the wild has allowed for animals to roam freely without being disturbed by man. 

2020 saw a surge in the arts where artists and creativity are concern. As the 'Stay Home', policy was being implemented more people are being drawn towards looking into and developing the artistic possibilities as one of the ways to while away the time. Although theaters and plays productions were put on hold, inadvertently it also gave the these production and promoters a brief period of re accessing their status and making for better presentation as there was less pressure to do so in a timely manner; people are allowed to think better, plan better open to all possibilities when time is not of the essence. The COVID19 Pandemic for whatever it is worth, has brought humanity to a gradual awakening towards the values of human relationship in time and space. I say gradual simply because man will never learn, it would  take a much more drastic incident for him to be jerked back into the dire reality that he and his kind has got the world into as his Greed, Hate and Ignorance are deep rooted karma and his desire insatiable.

On a personal level, 2020 was a year of degeneration of the spirit and emotional roller coaster. It was more sadness than gladness to simply put. It has been a year of wishing I was somewhere else doing what I love doing rather than being in the environment that I have placed myself into. My reason for staying where I am with my two children was to bring them together under one roof and in making sure that they remain in touch with one another on a deeper elvel as brother and sister. It was also to pull my son out of the hole that he was slwoly digging himself into at the place where he was renting prior to moving in with us. This I have partially succeeded, I believe, but the toll it takes to achieve this I know is in my health; I am not happy. I feel I carry with me more than I need to and it costing me more than I bargain for; I need to change for my own personal well being if not my mental and physical health I need to move out of this environment; ironically I need to move out of this false comfort zone. At least this has been how I have felt throughout the year 2020 and I am not saying that I am right, however, in my journey of self discovery I felt time and again that I am not one who can settle down in one place too long and the COVID pandemic has heightened this fact into a reality; I feel trapped.

   

 

   

Is all these Maya?-Unreal?

  Why is living this material, physical life considered as unreal or an illusion orin the Sanskrit view is called Maya? Most of us would consider even the very idea itself is an illusion,perhaps a grand- illusion. However for thousand of years since man learned to think and analyze about the nature of our existence, this concept has been held as to be the truth by many major religions and spiritual teachings; what you behold in this physical realm is not real. It is, most have agreed to as mental formations, collective as well as individual; thoughts manifesting into forms and consciousness.Just as a sculptor would create a  sculpture out of a pieceof marble through his imagination and creative technique, so is the rest of forms that we see before us in and around ourselves are created through our collective imaginations, positively or otherwise; we created this Universe that we live in as they say. Far fetched? Perhaps. but for age man the inquisitive animal has dwell on this subject with deep consideration from every angles and aspect albeit scientifically or religiously. The enquirers into this phenomena have been relentless in the pursuit for a thorough understanding into the matter and those who stood in defence against this concept are no less as staunch in their stand.

So is this world of ours, this so called realm of existence real or is it just a pigment of our collective imagination? It is a question that we each have to come to our own personal conclusion just as the question, does God exist. At least for those of us who who have doubts and are not easily and blindly led by the faith and belief of the masses. We each and everyone of us have to seek and discover the truth to this enigma. The human mind is a tool that is not easily pacify by unproven concepts or realities, it is by its very nature a tool that dissects, investigates, until a right understanding is achieved and when this happens it is called enlightenment, minor or major depending upon the nature of this achievement. Eurika! Now i understand why birds can fly! Yes, this perhaps is a minor enlightenment, a state of what the Zen Buddhist call -Satori; I like calling inini-miracles. It happens to all of us at anytime of our lives and most of the time it goes unnoticed. Most of us take for granted that things just happens and no need to look any further just accept and move on, however some stop to think, to contemplate to ponder over the hows and the when and the why and these are the seekers, the ones that look witihin more so than without for answers. They are the ones that tries to connect the dots and complete the puzzle, they are often considered the radicals, the problematic ones by society at large as they find themselves at odds with what society has to offer them as answers.   

Science has been proving that matter is a flux of energy and subatomic particles being gathered together by gravitational pull and thus it is in reality the material objects including life forms are is essence made up of atomic particles. The theory of evolution further led us to beleive that man has evolved from the same single cell that all life forms originated from each evolving accordingly to its environment, and the adaptation towards the survival of the species. Against this principle, religions has doubted that the origin of man was from the lineage of the primates and man especially was introduced into the physical environment at a latter stage by the act of God. To doubt this is very serious offence in most major religions especially the mono theistic religions of the Judeo-Christian and Islamic faith. I have yet to come across any source of the Hindu and Buddhist stand on this issue; how was man created with the form that he possesses. Perhaps now that I have raised the question the answer will one day materialize in some form of scriptures n the Vedic tradition. In the Far Eastern countries like China, Japan and Korea among others there is no mention of how man evolved as a specie and it is almost as though t is an accepted fact that man simply appeared on earth as he is since the beginning. I will keep an open mind toward whatever will arise with regard to this knowledge and understanding. To me it is a crucial part of the puzzle that needs to be revealed for my own self discovery or the answer to my question of...Who or what am I?

Is this world we live in real? Is our temperary existence real? We have been given some time to find out and the journey to find out the answer lies within us for how we perceiive the world depends entirely on how we perceive ourselves. To perceive ourselves we have to journey inwards discovering the very nature of our genetic and spiritual nature; that which calls itself I. For eery lesson learned every discovery made, we unshackle ourselves from the conditioning of the external forms and we remove the veils that stand between us of what is unreal revealing the real. This we have to act upon and not merely acknowledge as a perception, we have to realize the truth behind all the falsehood and remove the darkness of ignorance by replacing it with the light of our inherent wisdom. Man is endowed with intelligence and if the theory of evolution is to be a criteria, human intelligence should by now become transcendental if not divine. In Islam it is said man has been placed upon this earth to be the caretaker and our intelligence is the tool that we are given in order that we may fulfill our designated task. However looking at where we are at and tha dire fate of the planet, it would be ironic that the reverse is true. Man has become worse than his fellow creatures destroying the very thing he has been assigned to care for. 

Self realization is the key to our very survival and to fully understand an accept the fact we are the specie that is at the very top of the food chain and at the same time the worse of the lot is answer to our predicament. We need to come to grip with the reality that we are responsible not only to ourselves but to the whole wellbeing of existence and in rder to realize this we have work to do. We have to educate or uneducate ourselves from the conditioning that we have been led into fro childhood, to realize that we live live on a borrowed time and that we share the smae fate as the rest of our fellow creatures. What we do with this our allotted time is decisive in ensuring that the God given intelligence and wisdom that we have does not go to waste or worse being put to negative actions. We have to earn  the right to become the caretaker or caregiver as the case may be and by our very nature help to heal and propagate wellness where suffering persist. If we are not able to do so, at the very least we are to resist from becoming the cause for suffering to others. By acknowledging that this life is impermanent and so is everything in it we must propagate the yer for the permanence that will help to keep this existence of ours free from excessive pain and suffering; this is the real.

       

Patience.

 Simplicity is not just about making life sipmle but also simplifying all there is to know and care about in life as I face all the odds that life has to offer and taking it as they say, easy. Life's complexity is all a manufacture of the mind that from day one of my existence has practically ran the show for my every experience. Sometimes life seems too complex and complicated too uddled and perplexing to handle and it seems like there is no way out and no end to this and I turned to NETFLIX and enjoy a series, However by stepping back and removing myself from the attachment to what was being presented before me I manage to slow down the loco-motion and make sense out of all the non sense that seems to occupy my(monkey) mind. Just as the mathematician brings it all down to the simplest formula a very complex mathematical theoretical equation, I try to sieve through my thoughts one at a time anddetach form their influences. What would be left would simply be the most recent if not demanding thought that needed to be addressed. This is best achieved through sitting meditation especially upon waking up early in the morning.  

I cannot emphasize enough on how important it is to sit and contemplate, ponder and reflect upon hoe one's mind functions even to the point of an obsession. Knowing the workings of the mind and understanding its pros and cons, like how it affects your daily moods is crucial towards self understanding; it is the antidote to depression and insanity. The mind is a good servant but a bad master, I have kept reminding myself, it can be put to use for you or it can abuse you worse than drugs; it's a necessary evil. Knowledge about the workings of the mind is not enough, the mind needs to be understood on the deepest level of understanding and in the end be cut off or discard totally from human consciousness. This is a tall order but it is not impossible to attain as ptoven by the great spiritual masters of the past. Whether in the Yogic tradition or the Zen, in the Sufi or the agnostic traditions of the great theistic religions of the world, the mind is considered a hinderence towards enlightenment; it is merely a tool to be honed and use and kept away when not in need.

Yes, ndeed like a broken rcord I will keep on repeating this 'Mantra' to myself that I am not the mind, nor am I the body. These are my tools of expression, my vehicle for transportation,while I am in this form of existence.Hence every now and then when I find myself in absolute silence devoid of any thought formations, I am able to askmyself ,Who Am I? Who is asking? In moments like these I can almost feel the voice of my Lord whispering within me; Patience, be patient, become a patient there is a whole lot of healing to be done yet, a whole lot of Karmic purification to be made. Patience! Ya Sabur, The Patient, is one of the Beautiful names of my Lord if not the final among His ninety nine attributes. Patience is an immovable virtue that protects and heals against all mental delusions, patience nullifies anger and various other strong emotional attacks to your heart, your soul. Sitting meditation is a practice of Patience.    

How to Slence the dual thinking mind.

Physical exercise of any kind is another form of keeping the dual thinking mind or the monkey mind as Sunryu Suzuki Roshi calls it, from wandering here and there. Whether you jog, do Tai Chi or Hatha Yoga, whether you dance or swim as your routine of exercises, if you do it consistently, you keep the mind occupied for a period of time. The more involved or vigorous the exercise the more you are able to still the mind. A 100 meters sprinter stops his or her mind from thinking absolutely,  he/she is frozen in the present moment focused absolutely on the run ahead. The sound of the starting gun triggers a spurt of energy unleashing the whole body nto action without a moment of thought, the runner seizes to exist,only running happens. The same happens in just about every sports activity whe performed with complete attention and determination; mind body and spirit merge to become one. In the art of Bushido, the Japanese for of martial art, the Samurai warrior trained to become one with his Katana or samurai blade. There seizes to be the man wielding the blade making the strike, there is only striking. The same is true with Zen and the Art of  Archer; man, bow and arrow and the target becomes one.

Yoga means to yoke or gather together or harness all the energies of the body mind and spirit together through some for of practice, whether it is through breath control as in Prana Yoga or physical exercizes as in hatha yoga or mind control as in Raja Yoga. In proper execution of each exercise breathing becomes the main focus, only through proper breathing can a perfect form be achieved in all activities. Hence in Zen practice, breathing is the key note to every action taken especially in Zazen or sitting meditation. Through right breathing the body mind and spirit states becomes aligned and a pure sense of peace and presence is achieved when this happens.When this is achieved in performing one's prayers, one becomes one with God; ther is no you and no God only prayer happens: form and emptiness becomes one, no worshiper and none that is worshiped.

Hence the silence of the mind through any form of practice when achieved effortlessly unites the mundane with the sublime which also happens when one witnesses a glorious sunset or a beautiful flower. In this pure sense of witnessing the thinking mind ceases to exist only te presence of the beauty is experienced n all its glory. The moment thought emerges to describe or even express this beauty, the experience is gone; this is the essence of desire, the desire to own, to cling on to, to prolong the experience, how often we say, "What a beautiful sunset, I wish I have my camera."

#sunsyusuzuki #taichi #yoga #hathayoga #rajayoga #zazen #bushido

Looking for the way out from mental formations.

And so I have often asked myself at the end of the day, how do I fit it all in, how do i finish this jigsaw puzzle of my life, how do I bring to a conclusion as to what is the truth or reality that governs this realm of my existence. iN SHORT HOW DO i MAKE SENSE OUT OF ALL THESE NON SENSE! ( accidental typo error seems apropos). All these years of accumulating and digesting knowledge from every possible sources are but mere grist for the mill, compost to feed the soil, the worms and the vegetables that feeds me. Past experiences from childhood to adulthood keeps popping up their heads reminding me of the time that was, but in truth has nothing more to offer in terms of my spiritual growth and development but just memories some of which are best left forgotten, buried for good in the primordial ground of my being as they have played their role and have become nothing more than an irrelevant baggage that weighs me down. It is again time for a good housekeeping, spring cleaning, lawn mowing project for the body, mind and the spirit. Easier said than done no doubt but it has been one of those practices that have carried with me this catharsis of the soul every now and then, especially when the septic tanks runs full and threatens to over flow. 

Much has yet to be learned and much has yet to be rid of and yes this is the ego voicing out, out of ignorance and wrong perceptions of what is the real and the truth;  that there is no mind nor is there any attainment towards being liberated from it. It is all a mental construct  the matrix of the mental state of consciousness conditioned by the illusory external manifestations or phenomena, the unreal. Running in circles is what it is all about, while packing the same old baggage looking for answers that are not there to begin with; a mental masturbation. In the mean time suffering persist within and without, it seems there is no end to it in sight. Why? How? When? If not now when? if not here where? Will there ever be eternal peace and tranquility while in this realm of existence? How deep rooted is my karma, how bad a sinner am I that I am haunted by so much discord, anxiety and fear? Or is it all just my conscience working overtime as I get older and approaching the hole in the ground? This is what being hauted by a Mayavic mind feels like, no matter how great a tstate the yogurt smoothy you hold in your hand you still feel like tere is something not right with your life. This is the monkey mind that rides your every moment in sleep and wakefulness no matter how comfortable your bed or how beautiful your partner or the day be; getting rid of this rascal is a prime directive for all those who seek sanity in life.

Acceptance and the feeling of gratefulness are all that I can come up with in facing this predicament; It is the healing potion that the ancient has handed down for man when dealing with a bad situation. I feel that it is a very potent advice and have been putting it to practice for some time now. Accepting a situation no matter how dire  it may seem makes it loose its bitterness, like adding sugar to black coffee. By acceptance I feel myself still in control and not the other way round, I make the choice of how to face the situation and not surrender to what is fated. Accceptance also gives me a chance to  step back and take a closer look at what is taking place, how I have allowed for it to happen and how it affects me and ultimately what can I do about it to change the scenario. Being thankful or grateful for the experience is again my choice of not allowing the event to take the upper hand in my life. No matter how negative the experience may be there is a lesson to be learned and I am thankful for this. Insread of giving in to my weaknesses of the past mistakes, poor judgments and so forth, I am able to turn the negative into a positive outcome. A Muslim will utter Alhamdullilah especially when he suffers from any tribulation, giving thanks to the All Mighty for the chalenge He has placed before him to deal with. In Islam, God is a Tester and everything that man faces in the course of his life is a test of his faith and wisdom in dealing with them. 

I made this observation as I am writing this post and it was not that i thought about it beforehand to come up with the answer, the answer has been in my heart all along just waiting to be be expressed. 

As I have eexpressed in the past time and again, I write it alldown not to advice others but to remind myself of who I am and what my strength and weaknesses are so that i can keep facilitating the healing process towards understanding my own mind, to use it rather than let it abuse me. Even if i feel I have touched the peak of the mystique mountain in my practice, I now i am still now totally free from my negative mental formations. 

There is no sure fired way to keep the mind in complete silence, however there are simple ways one can bring the mind to a gradual slowdown and become more stable. These are no Yogic gymnastics nor some mysterious exotic practice but simple day to day routine activities. Work is a sure means towards getting the mind to stay somewhat focus unto one subject or attention. The more deeply into what we do we submerge our mind the more settled it becomes not scattered into the four directions like wild horses dragging a chariot into four different directions. The Japanese Zen Practice has a period of morning work schedule for more or less house keeping. Here the idea is not so much as to do sweep or mop the floor, clean the altar or rake the garden, it is to mindfully observe the mind while working with the idea that it is the mind that is being cleansed. It is not surprising to find mirror like polished wooden floors and sitting platforms in the Zendo, or meditation hall, in old temples all over Japan  this being the result of years if not hundreds of years of doing "Houskeeping" Practice.  

"We sweep dust to remove our worldly desires. We scrub dirt to free ourselves of attachments. We live simply and take time to contemplate the self, mindfully living each moment. It’s not just monks who need to live this way. Everyone in today’s busy world needs to do it." ..Shoukei Matsumoto.

 This Mindfulness practice applies to all our daily activities whether we are cooking or carpentering, gardening or simply running a corporate organization,; Housekeeping comes first, purify and quiet your mind.

  

Trapped within Time and Space.

 

 Lost in time and space, is the theme of this an several others of the same style and technique, part of a series, The foot and palm prints are from afive year old girl who is now about 12-13 years of age. I can call this works lost in time and space for that matter. My artworks has always been created to capture the moment of what or where I was while executing them. Just as my journals and sketches and as now my bogging were meant to do, it is an effort o document each and every moment of my words thoughts and deed as closely and frequently as I possibly could. It was a thought promoted by J.Krishnamurti in one of his works that struck me as an impossibility, however now that I look back at it over the years, watching the mind, how it functions daily if not moment to moment is not impossible at all. One of the ways I realized is the fact that I have kept an on going journal in the form of writing, sketching, picture taking and various other methods that comes to mind that i can closely watch how my mind functions. 

Throughout this Blogging I have been documenting my journey in life as much and as thoroughly as i can recollect and after all these years and after some 2300 postings, one would think that i have gotten somewhere, learned something about my self or at least how my mind works. Not really, to accept the truth, far from it; I am still at a lost and in the dark as to who or what I truly am other than what i think of who I am or according what others think of who I am.I find myself time and again running in circles like ring around the rossies, and repeating the same old story or lyrics on a broken record. No the mind is a mystery that is beyond my normal and conditioned perception to grasp and grapple with; the mind is as slippery and can be as vicious as a rattle snake if not understood. The mind on the other hand is capable of creating the Universe and all that is within and without if fully understood; the Mind is just a word with no meaning or a Word that means God.

 Space and time are concepts almost all modern day thinking minds albeit scientists or otherwise are in agreement to this fact, however the question is how does man utilize this realization to fulfill his aspirations,dreams and vision about his life? How does he free himself from the conditioning of being in the state governed by the laws of time and space concepts; how does he free himself from this Maya. Not that he has to or must do so for any particular reason, but for the sake of his personal growth out of this conditioned and limiting state of existence he should at the very least try to have a handle on this phenomena. Man is trapped in Space and Time of his own  construction and consciously or unconsciously he has been struggling to be liberated from the concept, if not physically, spiritually. 

 

Is there or is there not - God?

 Yesterday evening I listened to a J.Krishnamurti talk on You Tube that someone had posted on Face Book on a group page called The Rascals Picnic. The video talk was about if God exist and if he, Krishnamurti believes in God. The talk was held in Madras, India sometime in 1981-82, before a predominantly Hindu audience, which in itself to me must have been a dangerous effort for anyone to take on whether he believes or does not in the existence of a Creator, Lord of the Universe, Omnipresent, Omniscience, Eternal and so forth. Primarily K questioned his audience on who created who, did we create God or God created us. In India itself it is said that there are more than 300000 Gods or more so who created all these Gods to whom the Hindus devote with the shower of money and rituals. "Believe has no place where truth is concern," this is the key to what I derived from this talk. And as the Buddha is said to have uttered to His Cousin Ananda just before His death, "Unto yourself alone have faith for liberation from this existence." This is the essence of what K's message was to his Hindu audience and is to me.

Not in Scriptures or in books, not from the words of the Guru or the Saints and Prophets, not even from the teachings of Gautama the Buddha Himself must one place one's 'faith', but in one's own complete Awareness or Being of who You are. Herein lies the paradox, in order to attain to the sense of Complete Awareness or Being, one has to discover a thorough and complete understanding of who you are and this can only be achieved through understanding the teachings of Guru and Saints, Books and scriptures and that of the teachings of Gautama the Buddha; there is no short cut to discovering the Truth unless one is a Buddha by birth already and even for this to happen, one would have to have evolved for eons from one life to another before finally achieving the final liberation and becoming a Buddha. So is there a God, One in Whose Image you are created and and by Whose Will you are manifesting your life here on earth? Is there a God that is Merciful and Compassionate,  Loving and yet Wrathful if crossed? Is there a God whose punishment and reward is Heaven and Hell in the afterlife, Is there a God who created men unequal and allow for decadence and death and the suffering of His creatures to become rampant just to make His point and yet tells man that "The Truth Shall Set You Free."Is there a God who declares Himself a jealous God? If there is, then I am in deep divine shit.

For God to exist, I have to exist as a witness, otherwise there is no validity to the question if or if not- God exist. It is an age old riddle of the chicken and the egg, which comes first, or who created who? Blasphemous to even think of such thoughts for a Muslim or any of the Judaic, Christian and Islamic faith and having faith is the key to being a good or devoted religious person. The gates to heaven itself are hinged upon faith and devotion to hold them up for without these two virtues religion has no hold upon humanity. Fear is the key that opens the gate for it is out of fear that man succumbs to faith and devotion, the fear of living and dying and the fear of suffering during both. If man has no knowledge or any inherent sense of fear in him, God would not exist, not heaven nor hell would hold any meaning to him. It is through fear no matter how deep or strong the denial may be, that man bows his head and worship God. Very few worship God out of love and devotion and fewer yet of those who were force to have faith out of fear for thier lives through wars and conquests, those that embrace a religion out of necessity. Then again this is all my own take and God knows I have been wrong on a great many occasions where the subject of faith is concern; and yes there is definitely fear in me too, the fear of dying in ignorance.

At one point in his talk, Krishnamurti declared that he did not believe in a God or that God exists; it does not hurt God that one man declares himself so, nor does it gives comfort to God if another declares his devotion. There is no right or wrong, good or bad, this or that where God is concern is there? God is existence itself and  non existent- emptiness, void simultaneously. We may be created in God's image but God is not created and has no image; man has to cease creating God in his image. As the Buddha's teaching implied, God has no issues to take care of but man suffers from the day he was born till the day they bury him. If man needs to have great faith and devotion to uphold to he should devote them to himself; the one who is placed upon the face of the earth to endure pain and suffering regardless his status in life. Hence to discover ne's true nature is more important that to question the existence of God, for man has to cease to exist before God can be. The Buddha final words before attaining to His 'Pari-Nirvana' was said to be, " I'm No More!" The Buddha may not have uttered, "Only God is," but this is for me to figure out for myself, through the right understanding my own Buddha Nature, Who Am I?.

"The Kingdom of Heaven is within you,

whosoever shall nkow himself, shall find it."

Egyptian Book of the Dead.

#jkrishnamurti,# egyptianbookofhe dead