"St. Saint Isaac the Syrian once said, "Humility collects the Soul into a single point, by the power of Silence. A truly humble man has no desire to be known or admired by others but wishes to plunge from himself into himself. To become nothing. As if he had never been born. When he is completely hidden to himself in himself, He is completely with God. - Humility of the Soul, St. Isaac the Syrian. "
This is the essence of what i truly understand myself of my search for my spiritual awakening, a lifelong journey of ignorance and naivete for the Light of infinite wisdom and bliss in the presence of my Lord. At the moment, at 4:45 AM, I had just woke up from a dream, another of my 'journey dream'. A dream of getting to a destination but fraught with all kinds of 'weird' experiences and a pleasant ending which got me to continue writing this Blog entry. I had arrived at a point of giving up on making any more entries after my last entry which was of the visit to the Mahindarama Buddhist Temple which was like arriving at last back to where it all began as far as my spiritual journey is concern, however this dream I had woke me up to the fact that my journey is far rom over.
In my dream I was headed for a gathering of my relatives a sort of simple get together somewhere and again I found myself broken away rom my family and traveling alone towards this destination. I found myself along a path where it was all muddy and the people I met were all men from an ethnic group of Muslim Indians and Bangladesh origin. They were all it seems all preparing for the prayer making their ablution along the path wet and muddy path from taps lined up along the path. I was almost naked for some reason and found rags and used cloths which I reluctantly used to cover myself and was encouraged to take my ablution. Later on further down the road I found myself sitting in what seemed like a lecture hall along with these 'Taliban ' looking men and turning around behind me i found my eldest brother sitting behind me with a big smile on his face as though happy to see me there among the devoted Muslims. I woke up with a feeling of being accepted by my Muslim brothers and the gathering I had anticipated that of one of a picnic get together was not the case, it was a gathering of a spiritual brotherhood.
This was a very lucid dream where every sense of me was being put to task especially my ego as I felt the disgust at putting on a worn out shirt given to me along the way to cover myself and the feeling I had of the people around me who were as I explained 'lower' class than I assumed myself to be, they were mostly laborers and of migrant types in origin. It is sad that I forgot most of the details to this dream lucid as it was, but needless to say I was moved by it as it carried a strong message as to where i am headed in my spiritual journey; simply put it is time for me to seriously consider praying five times a day. The peace and bliss that i am looking for as i approach the end of my life is in bowing like everyone else towards the east in the presence of the All Mighty Allah,aza wa jala. Until then I will not find the completion to my final destination while on this road towards redemption. This is where i have to sacrifice my ego in the final stage, to accept that I am nothing until I prostrate myself before my Maker with absolute humility and surrender. I may have been raised a Buddhist but I was born a Muslim to my my Muslim parents and this I will honor to the day I enter the grave as Allah {SWT} bear witness on this morning. Even if i may not arrive at the destination I had assumed set forth for me, I will arrive at the destination my spirit has laid out before me. Insha'Allah.
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