Sadhguru's Book - DEATH - An Inside Story. - Part One.

 This morning I woke up at three and sat for awhile and saw before me myself standing and facing away into an evening sky or perhaps morning and as i stood there my body started to disintegrate as though blown apart by the wind from head on downwards to my feet. It was a pleasant experience feeling as though I was loosing myself from into nothingness. Not knowing what to do I decided to chant the cosmic sound of OM  and felt my body gather energy from the pit of my belly and slowly rose up my spine locking itself at every points of my chakras until it reaches my head area. I never felt more in tune with my physical form as i did and my mind was just watching the whole phenomena happening, like I was simply an observer watching every movement of my physical form. Then the thought of Sadhguru's book on Death came to my mind and felt at ease like what I have read so far of his teaching had come to expression. I have dwelled on the subject of death for a very long time and had written somewhere in this Blog my thoughts and experiences on the matter almost to a point of obsession at one time and had to give up. Perhaps I was exposed to its negative effect more so than the positive and it was leading me towards a sense of depression and more confused than I was already. 

I had experienced quite a number of deaths in the past of others and the most vivid was the death of my uncle, the man who had adopted me at birth and raised me for twelve years of my childhood life. It was sometime in 1990-91 when i had taken vacation and returned to Malaysia for a short visit. It was almost dark in the evening and I was having dinner at an auntie's house where I had put up and a stranger came to the door and told me that my uncle had passed away and his body was placed at the back of his van and that is should go and take care of it. I took a ride with stranger on his motor bike to the site a bout a quarter of a mile to the junction of Gelugor and Brown Gardens in Penang where we were. There i found the van parked by the roadside and on looking inside found my uncle's deceased body laying on the floor at the back of the van. I had not driven in Malaysia for many years since living in the United States and especially not a van. However I had no choice as there was no one around to ask for help and so I drove the van to his house and upon arrival carried his body into the house. Together with my auntie we undressed him getting rid of his pants that was soaked with his feces and the stench was overwhelming. Together we cleaned him up as best we could and started calling my relatives to inform them of the tragedy.

My uncle had a massive stroke while driving home and I later learned that the had parked the van along the road and stepped out tearing his his shirt open before falling to the ground where a few passer by had picked him up and laid him in the van. By then it was dark and the stranger who knew who my uncle's residence had informed my auntie and she told him to get a hold of me as there was no adults in the house.  Perhaps it was meant to be that I happen to be around when it all happened and that it was meant to be to be that I was the one to take the responsibility of taking care of the man who had raised me in his final hour. My uncle had married late in his life and had eight children and all of them were still too young to comprehend much less took care of the whole situation and so it was meant to be. He was buried the next day laid to rest alongside my grandfather and grand mother. I had to return to the United States soon after with a very heavy heart wondering what was to become of his family. The stench of his dead body remained with me for a long time even after i got to America. The man had raised me as a Buddhist while the rest of my family and relatives were Muslim and he himself converted to Islam when he married my auntie at the age of forty. His life was an enigma in many ways having spent two years as a Buddhist monk in Sri Lanka or Ceylon as it was known before and as the saying goes the devil is in the details and what a phenomenal detail it was for me to unravel. From this experience I had a good lesson about Karma and its consequences; was he punished by God, {Allah} or the Buddha? One thing for sure he was a very heavy smoker and I remember his brand of cigarettes called the Rough Rider, was perhaps the cause of his stroke. Regardless, I loved the man and his demise was tragic for me.