To Each His Own...

It is pouring cats and dogs outside here in Belantik ans i am  still feeling the feverish cold with runny nose sore throat and the achy feeling all over but got here to the cyber cafe to get some real work done,hee hee. Very early this morning woke up at the crack of dawn and decided to give my physical m manifestation a challenge like,so you feel like having a bead cold eh? Well lets have a chilly cold bath from the river and really give us s cause to brag about where colds are concern! After that i felt great for abit and decided in the early misty morning to take  long walk up into the hills further than i have had been before and it was invigorating to say the least. The air was chilly and filled with sound of the gibbons or mawas screaming from way high above the forest trees n the distant and birds off all kinds far and near; no traffic, no horns honking ,no ambulance siren, no pots and pans being thrown bout below my window like where i was in Penang. My mind does not give up though, still hankering over minor details as to how my kids are faring out by themselves and what is my eldest boy doing with his married life and the one in the Swiss Alps, what was he up to at the moment.
I decide to count my breath while i walked very slowly taking my time step by step and if this failed to bring my mind into the present moment i resorted to the Zikr. or hymns  from the Koran counting my beads.

I wish i could load some pictures as i write as they I am sure makes it more real than just trying to visualize from writing alone as the Malaysian forest is awesome sometimes especially early in the morning when it is waking up. I could almost feel my mind giving way to the quiet and peaceful morning as i felt my stepping back from the thinking mode and became an observer of all that was passing through my mind most of which were egotistical in nature and origin. What if, what could have, what should have , what will why, why not, which as always ends up to the who am I? I also realized that the feverish feeling was more of a help as it makes me more aware of my physical state of being and how it influenced my emotions over the past few months. I was feeling lethargic and eating like a hog whatever that came my way which was not hard to do in Penang, the Food capital of the World, while living right at a restaurant did not help either as there was tons of left overs at the end of the day to choose from. I know i should not complain and no i am not, but i also know when I am going down hill with a beer belly while not drinking any beer and spending my days hugging the computer or struggling to do a painting just to fill up my time. No sir, it was time to change and with or without money I was determined to make this retreat into the forest refuge and commune with nature and the unseen.