What to do?

My friend David Carlson has done it, I think he fixed my blog entry problem and he is all the way ther in Esenada somewhere in Baha, Mexico? I miss David, he is one of those guys i had wish i could grow old with and perhaps kick the bucket while getting stoned on some lonely beach somewhere or a monastery, but...shit happens, life is change and changes makes things a little more complicated and so David is in wherever he is and i am here stuck dealing with my own head day to day wondering what went wrong or could i have done any different or is this the 'Summit of my mystique mountain,' the end of my adventures the end of my road.



My Buddy David and Dianne

 I met David while i was living at the Green Gulch Zen Centre, out in Sausalito, Marin Countty, California where we did several practice periods together while indulging in various un-Zenlike activities on the side like eating mushrooms that were not meant for cooking and smoking weeds that came from Humboldt County, Hawaii, Colombia and Mexico, for health and spiritual purposes. I doubt that at this age David gives a hoot that i am exposing ourselves of our good old days when we had not much in ownership and a whole lot of hot airs and smoking guns that got us into hot soups in more than one ways with the females of the Zen community. Never did i ever felt more freedom in my life than when i was sitting and facing the wall in the Zendo, (meditation hall) at Green Gulch. I had a some of the best friends a man could ever ask for in such similar circumstances, and these guys were masters in the former lives doing what they did albeit as computer programmers or stock brokers, or just plain old drifters remnants of the old Hippie days.
David always held my respect, he had the ability to calm and comfort and often enough pulled me out of many of my trials and tribulations with life; he was an older brother i never had, he persuaded me into the right path without making it an effort. We spent many days together exploring the Muir Beach, Tamalpais hills and valleys, sometimes on moonlit nights and we later explored the Golden Gate Park areas in San Francisco like our own backyard while raising our children in the vicinity. I met my late wife Nancy through meeting David who was then living in the same house at 191, Haight Street along with some of the most uniquely weird people among whom included an acupuncturist or two, a masseurs, a lesbian or two and an English lady who was an illegal alien (who David later married to make her legal), a Jewish Jack of all trades (now own probably half of San Fran) among others. On looking back 191 Haight Street was a real nut house and we did hold many head spinning meetings that would make a shrink visit looks petty. It was here that i met Nancy, living among a mixed lot made up of Yuppies and Bums.

Above were two of my brothers whose life touched mine while i was living at the'Gulch'. Jim Abrams and 'The Rev.Terry Sutton. Jim was a part Cherokee Indian (baldy) while Terry was from Lincoln, Nebraska. The boy they were handling is my son Karim.

The green Gulch trails leading into the Tamalpais hills eventually or towards the Marin Headlands in another direction. Most people would have to pay a good amount to afford to spend a few days here as a retreat, I lived in this place for nearly two years and had one of the best periods of my life. Thanks to my brothers in robes, David C. David L, Jim B and Terry S., not to mention Peter R. and a few others.

Special mention should be made when it comes to friends at the monastery, Ed Brown, what a man! My teacher and friend who talked me through many an identity crisis I use to have while practicing Zen.