Yesterday evening I was at my nephew's {Husein} house attending the the departure of his mother in law, my sister in law from this realm. She was married to my second eldest brother. My brother whom we called Jaya had passed away a fears ago and was buried at almost exactly where she was later buried at the Dato' Kramat Muslim cometary. She was laid to rest just after the Maghrib prayer which was performed at the Masjid Hashim Yahaya located adjacent to the burial ground. The spot where she was buried is where my Grand Mother and Grand Father were laid to rest many years ago and later followed by my auntie Ma'Cak or better known among the Sungai Pinang Jelutung area as Mak Timah Bidan and even later by my Uncle, Hamid bin Talib or once known as Paul Nanda s/o Paul Mariano. Yes I try to swallow the whole name, all its implications where society is concern. the man who raised me as a child till I was twelve as a Bugghist. The Dato'Ktamat MUslim cemetary is much over populated as more came and stacked on top of them, all family relatives who kicked the bucket and joined the the trip one step beyond into the unknown. I feel my age whenever I visit this site and I had just visited the same spot not too long ago when my Cousin brother Mohamad Kalam was buried right on the same spot. Perhaps me too will be sharing the same bed among all my family and relatives.
In dealing with the physical death I am fortunate to have been exposed to quite a few in my lifetime. The impermanence of life,an interesting if not intriguing phenomena that one day i will have to pass through. My body washed and cleaned and wrapped up in white with cotton balls sticking up my nose and a cloth tied around my head to shut my mouth, I talked too much in life or maybe ate too much too, now no more. Then laid to rest with family and friends gather to read the Ya Sin, Fatihaha or the Surah Al-Ikhlas as a farewell gift to the dear departed. What if that was me? I still feel the same today but I was not moved too much by the fact of death and dying or what lay after, I learn to live my life better while in the plane. No experience can move one more than watch sand being thrown all over you while you lay all tied up in white, all your pride, all your ego, all that you think are of value to you is being buried with you, the one who you think who you were is No More. I listen to the Ustaz reminding the deceased what to expect immediately after death, the Alam Barzzakh, where you will met by two angels Mukar and Nangkir?, who will question you like you are a the airport entering another country only this is whole lot more heavier and here is where your soul is at stake. The first question is Ma Rab -u-Ka? Who is your God! Who do you worship or have your faith in or sought help from in times of chaos? What was Religion? What was your Holy Book...Who was your Porphet, your Kiblat or where do you face when you stand and perform your prayers. I listened to this litany asking myself, will I remember the answers when my time come or would I turn shitless like everyone else from the shock of dying and being removed from the reality that i thought I knew to one of...and all I can say to myself is , it's all in His hands, I have faith in my Lord or in my Higher Self if not my Intelligence to deal when and if the situation arise.
I like being among those who stand around the grave while the men shovel and pull sand down to cover the coffin as fast as possible it being night already because here I get to see my relatives and friends who have a common relationship with the deceased. On a micro level I maintain a relationship with my nephews and nieces on my second eldest brother side. Most had grown right before my eyes from school girls to having children, they were all there. Folks related to my sister in law came all the way from Kuala Terengganu to pay their respect to their sister, aunty, and so forth, some I recognized and I say while pointing a finger them, "Here's looking at you kid!" Uncle Baba! Pok Cik!, Mamu! Lame dok keleh PokCik! Ape kabor? Still alive?! I enjoy entertaining the children whenever i get the chance to, or tease the unmarried young one with a loud "Gengor kate mu nok kawin, betul?" Hey, I hear you are getting married soon!" often forgetting that I was at a funeral, As I approach the gathering of people I would give my salam while shaking their hands with a big smile on my face; breaks the ice. By proper salute or salam you tear down the wall or rip the veil off from what is not real and reveal the real, looking at it from a more spiritual level. Peace be unto you, I miss no one there friends family or total stranger, I look them in the eyes and smile, Salam! At funerals people look mostly bored, like lets get this thing over with, what's the delay!, I watched and listened and learned of who is who and what or where they have been and where they are now; the update of my society.
So farewell Kak Mah! {Fatimah}, From Him you came, to him you return.
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