The Pain In Us.- Ganja- use and abuse.

 Why I need to smoke ganja, or marijuana, why or how I use ganja as my healing plant and refuse to be accused of as a drug abuser to anyone in my family or friends; I have used and abused ganja in my days. I am an addict to smoking, cigarettes and ganja. I used to be addicted to alcohol and women too and perhaps still am, but for old age and feeble mind. I was exposed to the ganja smoke since i was four years old where as children we used to hang around the adults who smoked ganja like the Rasta Man and they would blow the smoke into our faces hoping to drive us off; I grew up as a child with a daily dose of second hand ganja smoke from members of the Baharol Alam Football Club of Sungai Pinang. This was way back when the present6 club building has been upgraded three times since. I have always a very creative mind and perhaps no small thanks to ganja smoke. Off and on I smoked and while in the United States ganja had helped to keep me alive on many challenging times as much as it got me into shit happens situation. I am an addict and no justification about it but the truth as much as it hurts is much more healing than all the words of the wise ancient and modern man can tell. I admit to myself that I walk most of my life with crutches and crushes. I created karma as the Buddhist say, in order to destroy karma. This is my admission to myself and the rest of of humanity...I am no perfect man.

During one of the one on one talks with my Zen Teacher Paul Discoe, I told him about my addiction to ganja and all he said was," Smoking dope is like drinking tea try not to make it any stronger or weaker, relax and enjoy." I knew he was not encouraging me but I also knew that he was honest and truthful in accepting my weaknesses and that I will have to work it out, that was why I was there at Green Gulch Zen Center. One of the best place I ever got high was the time I spent as a student at Green Gulch Farm/Zen Community; most of my Dharma Brothers like to take evening walks right after Zazen. With the sun setting into the Pacific and the stars lighting up over Mt. Tamalpais, a slow walk up to Hope Cottage was always a gift for the soul. Yes a heightened feeling of euphoria envelops ones after a smoke, sometimes intense and destructive and sometimes a sense of peace and tranquility takes hold and you just stand back and become the observer or under more extreme circumstances, influenced by positive or negative environment and circumstances, one drift into a moment of clarity/distortion depending. Some uses Marijuana as an escape from pain and suffering, even if it was for the duration of the "High time.' Thus they create Karma in order to overcome karma, most of us move around with crutches of one form or another, we hide it well, most of us.

How does one step out of this vicious circle of using and abusing? I would like to get a little spiritual  whatever that mans, in answering the question even to myself, especially to myself. I believe for most of my life that I am an Eclectic, I pick and choose the best from the Best of life's experiences and the natural phenomena of the Universe,{The Nirmanakaya}, this realm of existence is an Illusion, Not Real, simply a temporary phase towards liberation; by the very fact that it is not permanent as nothing is, it is Unreal. I live this grand Illusion, I am trapped into this cycle of Life, Birth and Death -Rebirth. The vicious circle some calls it, where life is suffering, being born is suffering, growing old is suffering death and the fear of, is the ultimate suffering. Life is a Play, Lila or Layla as the Hindus would tell you, the Gods and Deities loves to play, it is a game where the soul is the pawn in the game. Allah or God call it by whatever Name, is , the Judge, the Jury and the Executioner at the end of the game, at least this is some believe. I stand close to this position of understanding my life thus far, I am still drifting along looking for answers for lack of getter things to do. Truth shall set you free it is said, the freedom from your mind that is addicted to the dual thinking mind, the mind that likes to see right and wrong good and bad, light and darkness; this is the Truth, the addiction to thinking is is a neurosis that everyman suffers from. Ganja helps me to slowdown my thought processes, my mental diarrhea, the chattering and analyzing, the discontent and fears, the far- out imaginations, dreams and fears; my mind is hectic when it comes to thinking. Meditation, Yoga and the rest of them are much better choices in the long run no doubt, but some are mentally weaker than others, not everyone is mentally much less spiritually equipped from birth to cope with this game we call life. 

To step out of this vicious circle I need to let go of all preconditioned notions I have about what life is or how i come to be here or why. I have to stay focus on understanding, Right Understanding is the Buddha's first of the Eighth Fold Path towards self discovery, the road to self healing and liberation in the end from Samsara or suffering. Right Understanding of the True Nature of this realm of Existence, and finding what is your Dharma position as you manifest yourself in it. Someone taps your shoulder and whisper, "You are God!," what do you do? Before you can utter your answer he slaps you hard and brings you to the here and now, how would you react? This is the mind we have, capable of conjuring anything and every case scenario there ever is, was and yet to come. People become addicts in order to escape from the tedium of life at work, at home at temple or mosque; now the major addiction is to hand phones. Even natural sex has taken the back stage. Yes, mine I have narrowed down to a few and I am making every effort to live with it without too much browbeating and blaming much less justifying and I do not recommend to anyone to start smoking ganja for no reason unless you are cruising for a bruising. As my eldest son Nazri Bahari once wrote in his high school essay competition...addiction to drugs is, "The Pain in us."{The title of his essay.}

   

What is not intended can sometimes be the gift you are looking for. - 'The gentle Accident.' -=

 

I used this piece of canvas a pallet for my water color painting and after a while it turned out to become this piece of  water color painting which I highly doubt I can create such similar work. In the Zen art tradition this is what is known as a 'Gentle Accident'.  I am presently back working on my 100 feet long painting of the Penang, Georgetown area which I started sometime in 2008. The paper was given to me by the then Dean of Students for the Fine Arts Department at the University Science Malaysia, {USM}. Prof. Najib Dawa left his post to become the Director of the National Art Gallery in Kuala Lumpur. He told me that he got the paper from England and does not know what to do with it and so I was asked to paint on it whatever i wanted. For the past years I have had three solo exhibitions with the 100 feet long painting in Penang. It is never finished as I kept working on it whenever it moves me to do so. 

It is no easy task to fill up a three hundred feet by three feet long piece of paper and I know I am not doing justice to it given the time it has taken to come near to completion. However it has been shared by many art students and the general public and this is my intention in the beginning. My work is ongoing and it will be be completed when someone puts a price on it and it is no more mine. The theme isa to capture the essence of what was Georgetown then and what is becoming of it today. It is also to share the closely knitted the life of the people of multi-racial and religious group that dwells in this city. Georgetown is where I was born in 1949 seventy four years ago and I have seen the many changes that has taken place in and around the City. On the thirty first of August Malaysians will celebrate the National Day where the country was able to free itself from the British colonial rule without firing a bullet sometime in 1957. I was there along with thousands of the citizens of the City celebrating the declaration of Independence at the Padang Kota Lama field near where Fort Cornwallis is located.

I worked on the painting whenever and wherever I could over the years and this was my working at the Museum gallery Tuanku Fauziah a few years back. It is hard ob the lower back if you ask me but it is still one of my meditative form of practice.

The Convent Green Lane Girls School was asked to line up and hold up the painting on their school field one Independence Day a few years back.  The problem with the painting is how to install it in an exhibition.

I have the feeling that this painting will only be done when I am done for or when I take my step into the beyond and what will will happen to it will be up to my children. It is something i hope to leave behind for them as i have nothing much to leave as my legacy if not financial inheritance. It they can sell it, much power to them. As it is I have got my small gift in the form of the gentle accident that happened on the small canvass i had used as a pallet while working on it today.  

Alhamdullilah!

Thank You note to Spike, my Eldest Brother.

                                               The Marang River Mouth.

 Of persistence and and passionate love for an idea that culminates into a movie all in the span of a lifetime, this is the DC and Marvel comics greatness. In the 60s the name Stan Lee and Rip Kirby were only known to the few who could afford a comic book subscription every month and my eldest brother was one of those. Being a English Teacher at the high school that and my twin brother attended in our teen age years, my eldest brother thought that one of the best ways to get children to read is through comic books and for us and the rest of the family it worked. My twin and I graduated rom comics to novels and my brother Razali or better know as Spike among his friends and collogue or Cikgu Razali Abd. Mutalib, for the more normal kampung folks and  his students. Spike was the disciplinary teacher at Sultan Sulaiman Secondary School,  located in Kuala Terengganu adjacent to the Istana Tengku Badariah which sits along the Batu Buruk Road in front and the South China Sea behind as one heads towards town. Sekolah Sultan Sulaiman or better known as SS among the students nationwide. SS was The School along the East Coast in those days perhaps still is. We had among the best teachers in the country, teachers who had just returned from England after spending their training in London Brimsford Lodge or at  Kirby Teachers training College started their teaching career at SS. Among them was Names like the late Artist. Redza Piyadasa,Christoppher Lai, Mr. Andrew Heng , Mr. Anthony Thomas and Yeo Jin Leng... were among the faculty members at the school. This was my Brother, Spike's gift for me as part of the tools for me to face the future without forcing it on my or my brother, we took to reading like fish take to water. There was time while in High School I was also tutoring the grandchildren of the Sultan at the palace in English.

It is an incredible and amazing thing to be able to watch the and become a part of the evolution of the X-Men or the Spider Man from their inception in the first issue till today where at local theaters yet another Marvel comic character is being debut and it is another hit "The Blue Beetle." The Blue Beetle has evolved from Dan Garret, to Ted Kord and presently Jaime Reyes as the main character. The original comic was started in the 1940s and till today. The amazing part of the story is how an art so simple as comic making can today become a great entertainment if not one hell of a money maker? How many minds have been involved in the long processes over the years in order to have such an end product so captivating in the entertainment industry. This is what I believe to be the product of a Creative Collective Consciousness through time. Triggered by one or two creative geniuses the whole comic to movie industry has morphed into the most sophisticated form of Art in the history of Art. On the individual level the master piece was conceived by the man who first laid down the idea on paper to etch out an image from his own consciousness and imagination...a "Superman" was born. And through the mastery of  creativity and technique the one became two where words and stories are added turning out series of continuous issues to entertain the hungry minds. 

My gratitude to my eldest Brother, on this morning while i am typing out the post and the whole family owes you a weight of gratitude for your strength in holding the family together despite all odds on a teacher's salary.  I fully acknowledge all your sacrifices made on my behalf in the course of my teenage years into becoming an adult, Thanks for the comics and the suitcases full of heavy reading from Play Boy to the Odissi of Homer. from Alistair MacLaine to Robert Ludlam, you name it we read it, Chesapeake, Hawaii, Taipan; you fed my imagination when it was needed with the right wands and tools to face the life that I have faced thus far; Thank you. My brother, you have done very well by your family, I am proud in more than one ways of having such a gentle giant as my eldest. Thank you for allowing me to grow into who I am even when sometimes it was not an easy thing for you to do. I appreciate to this very moment in time which is 6am. Saturday morning the fact that I was in your care for a while in my life for which I will never forget; Thank you.

I realize you would never read this my brother, but it is my intention to remind myself that I owe a debt of gratitude to someone in the past. I might never be able to repay this debt in this lifetime but I hope that I and my family am eternally grateful for being there when you were needed. 

It is time to unveil the perception of ignorance.

                                                             "The Red Chair"

A storm is picking up outside my home and there will be some damages done it looks like that kind of a storm, hope not. Then again Cello Hauser is playing the Theme from -The Gladiators on the big screen and i am sitting here doing nothing. Body aches here and there from overuse or abuse and lack of use as in physical workouts and so fort as J. Krishnamurti would have said, 'and so forth..." Don't sweat the small matters and remember all matters are Matters. One has to cover all grounds of one's being at any time any given moment and every situation one is presented with, past present of future does nor exist except in time and time does not exist if there is no mind to perceive such concepts. this my mind justifying, clarifying making sense out of non-sense of this my so called life, thus far in space and time; just runed 74 this 12th. of August and found out last night that i am beginning to loose my hair. I have a ball spot spreading itself outwards to cover most of my skull making me loose my hair.

Where am I sitting in this Red Chair? With a Dan Brown novel on my lap and the minimal color scheme to go with, Earnest Hemmingway would have nodded his approval and Steinbeck would have done so too, out of mutual Love for the creative spirit of Humanity. We aspire towards something or someone or some goals and dreams. This inspiration to live well and die well comes from our inner self the self that is watching and learning and adapting and assimilating and making it who we are or as part of it ; we  are at the very least of effort is slightly aware of something is not right with the world and humanity's future is at stake to be consume by Greed and Hatred and not to mention Ignorance. These three illnesses that is suffered by man throughout hi existence. Knowledge is Power in this modern era, "money talks and bullshit walks,"; it will be take a major shift to steer the human collective consciousness into becoming singly focused upon Peace and the Healing of ourselves and the Planet. No matter your faith or belief, no matter your religio9n or preferences in philosophies and ideologies you live by,; money talks and bullshit still walks. 

Most of us are blinded by material wealth and comfort as opposed to the mor frugal life of compassion giving and sharing instead of keeping and hoarding. I can only eat one plate of rice at a time and no matter how much I I want to eat the best of meals everyday I will still end up killing myself from one excuse or another. All in all it is my stand that eat just enough and sleep well enough while doing what you love the most about life make it the last of your 'bucket wish' before you kick the bucket. Who am I ? What am I talking about? How far or how near am I to discovering my true being in one form o another or does it even matter. It is of utmost importance, the essence of man's existence itself, his consciousness, learn to understand how your mind works, like why do you think or how and what. Who is the 'Thinker?" Who thinks? Does the thought defines the thinker or the other way round? I am a addicted thinker like most friends I knew. Sometimes it is so stupid and embarrassing to watch the mind is capable of thinking in one day. The mind has a more vindictive nature then one that is kind and comforting. The mind likes to create stories of its own the more negative and destructive the story the more it feels successful having upset or perhaps create a balance between the positive and the negative in our mental expressions. Towards and understanding of the workings of the human mind is the very food man should be chewing on instead of trying to climb over one another's back to get to the top. Man is already at the very top of the food chain in the animal kingdom and there is no more storage rooms up there beyond the roof. We have become the cancerous cells that will slowly eat out of us from within. Only the most ignorant and blind cannot figure out the truth about the way we as a specie is headed and woes be unto our children and theirs. What can we do? 

The answer to what can be done about the situation and circumstances we are in today is in the question itself, what can we do, it is what have been doing is the problem that have led us here, to where we stand at the edge of space and waiting for the free fall to happen. Know Thyself! The mondo that holds the key to to the answer we are looking for in our own ways, is this in what have we been doing to ourselves, our planet our homes and families what have been doing to our fabric of society with uncertainties that most have hard time to contemplate, what is looking at the bigger and wider picture, the scenario is not very assuring for all of us, we are sick and refuse to admit it to ourselves and pick on the most ancient bullshit of all, that is WAR! Mass suicide and complete annihilation of the specie along with all other innocent species... and the Creator says "Ooops!" and man loves to tell his stories as how and when did it happened and why? I am beginning to see my Blogging is as a matter of fact has a sense of direction like it is taking me onwards telling myself stories while I am getting old. Eat well, sleep well and let all things go... is my moto. If you got a headache take a Panadol! Don't let your mind take you on a drift too far away from what is the real. Try to keep remaining on your board while surfing through some of the biggest wave of you life and survive to take another one, and the next. 

       

                                                         

Hanging out with the Boys at Batu Ferringi

 

A Bistro by the sea at Batu Ferringi as the sun was setting. Hanging out with two Australians and a Dutch man with his son. Ben Rongen, Rob House, Hans and his son Luka, not sure if the spelling is right. Rob is visiting Ben from Bali his last location and he is a surfer who travels around with two surfboards, his favorite hobby. Hans runs the Boutique Chalet on Pulau Kapas located on the East Coast off the Marang district area. Hans is taking his son who is visiting him from Holland on his school break for a good time in Penang.

 

You get some beautiful sunsets here although not quite today. I used to visit this beach in my younger days with my girl friend back then. There was no seaside cafe or bars back then and the beach was relative empty not these days as it has become one of t6he tourist hot spots.

Hans I find is a very energetic business man who has lived in Malaysia for the past fifteen years and ending up running his own hotel on one off the most visited islands in the East Coast in the South China Sea. He exudes an air of confidence and has an almost childlike demeanor about him.

Ben my brother is always there to keep the party alive with his charm and wits. 

Rob is another surfboard wanderer on the look out for the next best place to surf which presently he found in and around Bali in Indonesia. Rob has a long piece of metal rod running down his leg from his hip area and walks with a limp, he has problem bending his leg but he surfs!

Suck in the belly time with Ben with overly decorated Bar behind us. What els can you want when you have good friends and enough time to spend with even if it is just for the moment.

Nothing like coloring up the place with rainbow to cheer it up, good food and pleasant ambience.

A Visit to an amazing Gallery of Mikk Towers -Wood Carver and Laser artist.

 

Today I made the acquaintance of yet another very creative and productive artist who originated from England and has bee living in Penang for the last 15 years married to a Chinese lady. Mikk Towers is one highly imaginative character who spends seven days a week pursing around in his studio carving wood, making extraordinary images using laser beams among other things. Mikk also is a magician who has us entertained with his few parlor tricks with cards and strings.  A gentleman, polite and soft spoken I enjoyed listening to his non-stop expose of his works almost like a kid showing off his toys that has kept him from being lonely and bored at his age{my perception}.

My brother Ben and Rob listening to Mikk why he is a most fortunate man being an artist and where he is at living in Tanjung Bungah on the Northern side of Penang Island where one finds most ex pats living out their old age. 'Penang my second home,' has become my first home for most and they add to the variety of people living on this island sharing their ways, ideas and talents with the locals. Mikk has started teaching local students with his art and crafts and will be holding an exhibition soon in town where Ben has his shop at Hin Bus Depot. 

A pair of his weird sculpture pieces, 'Father and Son,' shows Mikk's humuros spirit when creating his pieces utilizing materials found in nature and giving life to what is inert. Most of his wood works he said are inspired by things found in the ocean while others are taken from images found on the Internet.

These wood sculptures were mesmerizing in the intricate detailed designs the result of 'laser sculpture.' What is original is Mikk's creative imagination in taking what is thousand of years old seashell and giving it life and form. 

Mikk was educated in England mastering in Fine Arts and has taught in several countries after like Thailand and Singapore before he found his wife and decided to make Penang his final home. he is happy as can be or so it seems, but I had the feeling that he needs to hang out with the boys more than hide in his studio from his wife.

 

Rob, visiting from Australia holding 'the staff of the Pharoah,' a wood sculpture with a serpent head of a heeded cobra that looked lifelike. Rob is visiting Ben and and has a metal rod stuck into his leg from hip way down pass his knee and so he has problem bending his knee but he is an advert surfer and lives for nothing else at present but to find the best surfing areas around the globe.  

Mikk and Sam making the connection. It is to me a privilege to make acquaintance with minds that are ever alive and creative at their later age. People who have earned the rites of passage 

                                                   

                           Hear Ye! Hear Ye! You are the Universe expressing Itself or something like that!

Ramblings of a wearied mind.

 Let's Ramble! What to ramble on? The last few days, the last few years? the moment of now in the present moment? It's all a matter of time, time to ramble after all the chores have been settled and there is more or less not much left to accomplish in the material world  or the spiritual that the mind would not indulge in if allowed to. The human mind, the favorite topic  among the old and ancient and the modern and upcoming wanna-bees spiritual as well as philosophical seekers ever since man could think or used words to describe himself, the "Humind" as I short cut the word at one time in the past, is the the Rosetta Stone that unravels the mysteries of the Universe. With complete understanding of the 'humind, man is exposed to the vast storage of what is out there and what is within. Although the wise men has kept pointing out the fact that the 'I' is not the mind nor the body, these two humind faculties are the basic tools and instruments of the spiritual journey, they are the means by which the universe or the spirit, pick your choice, like God or the Divine, expresses 'That' which is Is. Depending upon what school or religion one practice or have faith and understanding in the mind and body is not who one is in the final analysis, they are your physical and mental forms of your manifestations and exp0ressions, they eventually will not collapse and fall apart with age and time. However while in this what the Buddhist term Nirmankaya or the phenomenal realm of existence, the humind and body like the auto vehicles that we own to move around or the glasses we wear to help with our poor eyesight, they are and should be cared for in order to achieve maximum functionality.

My spiritual companion, the Guardian that sits and watch my every move like a tigress watching over me protecting me against seen and unseen dangers when I 'Sit.' 

 

 Our teeth decays and our bones looses their strength with age and just about everything that we have considered to be a part of who we are will in time perish and returned to dust and what remains is yet to be fully comprehend and agreed upon by those who dwell in these matters through out the ages. We die, what happens next? Is there a next and if there is what next? An atheist or a die hard scientist will settle for the total obliteration of one's existence where what once was is returned back not just to dust but into sub-atomic particles to float around in the vast space of the universe; recycled. The Judaic, Christian and Islam gives man a choice, Heaven or Hell as an afterlife depending how well one had lived according to the 'Good Book'. The Hindu Tradition of Vedanta or non duality expounds the fact that we are One with the All pervading Brahman, {God or Divinity}, depending upon our levels of understanding how far or near we have evolved throughout our existence not only in this life but in the myriads of past lives to who we are today, through the process of Incarnations. Buddhism although an offshoot of Hinduism denies any any existence of a 'Self' as a final analysis, there is no 'I'. As the Historical Buddha, Gautama in his final breath uttered, "I am no more." This to most non-Buddhist is a nihilistic/ atheistic view of life which most humind cannot process much less accept. Buddhist is not much different to Taoism in perspective where God or Divinity does not play a pivotal role in the final say. When asked if he believes in God, C.G. Jung replied, "It does not hurt God if I do or don't." The Buddha is said to have said when asked similar  issue that," God has no problem in this life but you do." In essence you deal with your life the best you can no matter what happens and so long as you think there is an 'I', you will suffer.

Words! How does one explain the mysteries of mysteries, the secret of secrets through the use of words in no matter what language we use. A brilliant writer could take us to the edge but still can never take us beyond, to take that leap of faith and most of us take the easy way out by surrendering to fate or destiny or simply damn if I care. Blessed is the blind and the ignorant for they have less to screw around with when it comes to the question of what is life or who am I? Hopelessly the humind that seeks for an answer to these questions will spend an entire life drown in frustrations and despair before they come close to any form of peace, enlightenment or awakening. Sadly most I talk to do not have any idea of the rough journey they are on much less how to ease the burden they carry with them.    

 

Happy 74th. Birthday Bahari!

 The Buddha's sermon on the Vulture Peak is considered as the most memorable sermon that had given. Here the Buddha held up the Udumbara flower in his hand and kept silence not uttering a word for the length of the sermon. One man grasped the significance oi this sermon and Maha Kasyapa became the next in the line of the lineage of Buddha's teachings. He had understood what the Buddha had meant by His strange act of not saying a word for the whole time of His presence to give His teaching. This was the first direct transmission beyond words, it was the transmission of mind to mind. Hence in meditation one sits to attain this state of silence of the mind whereby any teaching or consciousness that is to be experience happens as if out of the blue, out of the primordial source, out of the original Buddha Mind. The mind and body is refined to accept any revelation form the higher state of being or from God, the Source or the Buddha. Achieving the one pointedness of the mind is crucial and is the aim of meditation if there is such a thing as an aim in meditation. Our human mind is governed by the ego and thus we have to make every effort to bring the ego to submit to achieving this silence which the ego will not allow to happen as it spells the end of ego. Surrendering to God is the one means of achieving the silence as meditation progress, this surrendering or letting go frees the mind from being governed by the ego mind. It also acts a buffer towards warding off negative and demonic thoughts possessing our mind lead us into darkness away from light. Lost in the dark is not a good place to be, it is tantamount to being in the hell realm as the Buddhist would call it, a self created realm of  pain and suffering a suffering due to the blindness of ignorance of the spiritual self. 

Today I celebrate my 74th. Birthday feeling like my life has passed the three quarters of a century mark in the history of time; what have I to show for it? Where have I been and what have I done to to commemorate this 74 years of existence. I have always considered myself the fortunate few whose life have been filled with a vast array of experiences having traveled and lived in many parts of the world and cultures and indulged in numerous facets of life experiences both good and the not so so good, touched and was touched by many great minds, teachers and friends and I have brought into this life four children who are now adults and living their lives the best they can. I leave behind a legacy of being a spiritual seeker in my own right, having taken on life in my own ways through the best of times and the

 

worst. My journey of self discovery is not unlike the Divine Comedy of Dante; I have tasted hell and heaven in this one life and lived to talk about it. I am not proud of my life but I am satisfied that 'I did it my way,' as the song goes. My way has never been always the best of ways and I walked the path knowingly that I have came close to 'selling my soul to the devil.' through ignorance in the form of anger and dissolution; I have lived the hedonistic, debouched and dissipated life more often than I can remember. However I am still alive and by the Grace of my Lord I have been given the bonus of a long life in order to make up for all my transgressions and tribulations, asking for forgiveness and acceptance of whatever retribution that may lay in store for the likes of me. I absolutely lay my fate in His hands as the oft forgiving and Merciful God and there is nothing that transpires within or without in the course of my life that is not of His design.

Today, the 12th. of August is an election day for six States in Malaysia and I just did my part having voted early this morning  The country is going through another major change in government and the people are left with making the choices of who or what to vote for; at present Malaysian politics sucks! Doing what is right is to vote and voting for the right party that you deem to be the lesser of two evils for me is how I cast my vote.  This is a rich and beautiful country and deserves better management than it is presently being accorded to. There is division and rifts that seems to get wider and more negative as more and more of those in power or vying for more control resort to race and religion ad a tool for political gains; this is a reflection of what happens when the ego is in charge rather than humanity. And so on we go to the next levels of decadence and deceptions while the country sink deeper into debts and dilapidation. Am I proud to be a Malaysian? I will always be, however at my age I am worried for the future of the children, those who will inherit this never ending bumpy rides that the country is being subjected to by those in power to ruin her.   

                                                                               

This morning while chatting with one of the Indian sweepers for the apartment complex I asked him what is the significances of having the white powder smeared across his forehead. He told me that it is a form reminder of the impermanence of life, that when we die and our body is being cremated all that is left is the ash. The ash used he told me is actually made from cow dung and is imported from India. The picture above  of the dilapidated shack falling apart in the mud reminds me of this same sense of impermanence. For the past few years i have been taking this same picture just to keep reminding myself of this end to all things including myself.

It is not an easy effort to build houses on the water and in the mud and the pillars are often rotted or eaten by barnacles if not sheathed with a fiber glass tubing. These are the few homes and storage houses for the fishermen who ply the sea for a living. I have been coming to this jetty for over fifteen years now finding some solace from the rhythm of the day to day life of living in the city. Flying proudly in the skyline are the Country and State flags.

Against the skyline of tall apartment buildings fishing boats lay stuck in the mud at low tide and the boardwalk stretches towards the highway that runs filling the air with the constant roar of traffic. This part of the seashore is actually reclaimed land including the freeway and most of those now living in the low cost apartments were once people living along the shoreline and most were fishermen by trade. 

I load these pictures to share what it is like in my life, one of those places that i have spent my time to escape from the monotony of living in an apartment where most tenants keep to themselves and barely say hello in the elevators until I take a jab at them with some off the wall greeting or comment. I have been reminded that relationships with others is a very crucial aspect of life and being congenial is an art when living in a multi-racial society. 

Oppenheimer - The Movie

 

Jokingly I said to my son Open-hammer to my son on our way to see the movie Oppenheimer Oppenheimer, he corrected me thinking I had problem pronouncing the German name. The Creator of Doom, the Lord of Destruction and Procreation, The Dancing Nataraja; most of humanity cringe at this name especially those who lived in Hiroshima and Nagasaki, Oppenheimer, the Movie. I fell asleep a few minutes of it and my daughter had to elbow me, I was most probably starting to snore. I enjoyed the rest of the movie and marveled at how much transformation of the actors/characters takes place in the making of the movie. My son holds Christopher Nolan high up there among the Hollywood contemporary directors which includes Michael Bay, Christopher Nolan, James Cameron, Ridley Scott and a few others. Our connection, my son and I is mostly through Movies and the Liverpool Fan Club. I had no interest in soccer before my son persuaded me into watching his favorite team; Liverpool. Now I practically know the whole team members like latest news Virgil Van Dyke is made Team captain and Trent Alexander Arnold the number two. Now I am hooked on Liverpool Soccer games wondering who they play next. Not a bad way of bonding between father and son. Karim is to me an enigma, I worry about his future but it is too late to make a whole lot of difference as he is past that point in life where it is not easy to make him change for the better, at least the way I perceive what it should be. So I join what I cannot afford any change to in a character and the best i can do is to live my life as best i can with the hope that he will emulate the good in me and drop the worse. When two bombs were dropped upon Hiroshima and Nagasaki it changed the course of WW2 but it did not last as WW3 is looming with Japan playing a significant role in the making. Oppenheimer was instrumental in the creation of the Atom Bomb, but he carried the burden of gu9lt to his grave for the death of thousands innocent souls wile the United States cheered for its success. Today the Atom Bomb era is history replaced by the Nuclear Bomb of which many countries claim to have in their arsenal 0f war.

My son of late has been "The God of War," A tough mortal warrior swinging his battle axe running with his young son towards, I still have no idea yet, a highly sophisticated created video game that is his latest adventure on the screen. We all live our dreams in one form or another and when we get too involved it becomes an addiction/meditation for the game demands very high attention and concentration. A technological route to Nirvana and in this case the killing of Gods and demons alike. Facing the 50" TV screen and with both feet up on the couch my son faces his demons. He is a highly intelligent kid if i may say so myself and more towards being an introvert, does excellent at his job and well liked by others, so far so good. He is 31-32 and refuse to have any discussion about settling down and he told me that every time i mention he would add another year, I gave up. I figured a young man who knows and really know Oppenheimer through the Internet can't be too bad; celibacy has its gifts if one knows how to harness it. 

Mankind is hell bent upon self destruction and there seem to be no hope for a peaceful future on this planet and the Nature in all its beauty and glory has become the impending collateral damage. Of late food has become the next target for mass strangulation as India has banded the export of rice from the country and with Russia holding a strangle hold on Ukraine's export of grains to the rest of the world, humanity is faced with a wake up call with regard to food shortages. Most of mankind today will continue to live day to day moaning and groaning about the rising cost of food in denial of what it is that is causing this predicament we are in; that we are victims of our own sense of Greed, Hate and Delusion or Ignorance, the three ailments that the Buddha had pointed out in His teachings. It becomes more critical as in his ingenuity man is in the process of creating artificial intelligence, like a God he is creating an entity in his image. Science today is in the process of becoming Dr. Frankenstein whose ultimate goal is to become like God is his ability to create that of life itself. The few involved in this projects of AI is bound and determined to prove to one another that they are ahead and will one day be the creator of the most advanced neo human specie that is devoid of any form of egocentric and humane feelings; compassion will become an alien word in the future when Ai becomes a part and parcel of the collective consciousness with no holds barred in times of war; this is the prophecy of "The Terminator," the movie series being realized. As it is, Drones are becoming a weapon of choice for the war mongers where so called precision killing is the key factor towards justifying the mode of eliminating the enemy forces anywhere in the world. From a small room deep in the bunker a man can deliver devastating blow to a whole village anywhere without any conscience or regret for his action as he was merely obeying orders from his superiors. Oppenheimer's Atom Bomb has now become obsolete in the arsenals of modern warfare.