Life was allot more simpler and relaxed when I was not paying to much attention to my faith and belief, to what lies in the hereafter and how far or how near I am to God. However living in th proximity of two mosques and one of thye largest Chinese cemetery has caused my mind to become preoccupied with loads of issues and religious doubts and questions. The Internet is also a major contributor towards this ramblings in my mind especially when my Face Book page is being loade with all kinds of religious issues pros and cons, rights and wrongs and heaven and hell. It is like I am witnessing a cruel God bound and determined to justify His wrath over all those who choose to take the journey of self discovery, the road less traveled, the path of no path the way of no way in order to understand the truth of what religion is all about. I feel like a drifter who knows not where or when to drop my anchor and call the station my home for I am still drifting across the ocean of life wondering.
More and more I see suffering manifesting like cancerous boils all over the world in the form of wars and famine, broken homes and destitution, souls lost to corruption and degeneration and I feel a sense of helplessness and foreboding for my fellow mankind. We are it seems bound and determined o head for self destruction as we are fueled by our own sense of greed, hate and ignorance. I feel dreaded by the desecration we have wrought upon our environment laying to waste vast tracks of forests and generating chaotic climate changes with unprecedented natural disasters all over the planet. It is as though I am dying as parts of me begin to give way to the onslaught of decadence and chaos. It is imperative that my mind needs to divest itself from all these negative influences that is making an impact upon my well being. Hence I keep asking the same old questions that has haunted me, who am I and how do I fit into all these and how do I liberate myself from it all without becoming overly drastic or dramatic like committing suicide to end it all.
One of the questions is what went wrong with the state of humanity to have led to this level of decadence that we are facing today, like why is the world seem so messed up at all levels. The answer as one spiritual teacher explained is the falling apart of the law that governs human nature primarily. Mankind has cast aside the very principles that helps to govern the right and wrong actions of us all, it has been the voice of conscience within us, guiding us through the rough terrains and deep gullies of our paths so that we do not fall along the way due to our own ignorance. Today at every levels of our human interactions we have flaunt the laws with impunity and disdain, we are oblivious to its cause and effects and we cater to our lawlessness to serve our egocentric insatiable desires at the expense of others. The first law of Moses, "Thou shalt not kill.," has become practically obsolete in our modern day existence as thousand upon thousands are being killed daily in the form of one violence or another and the price of a human life is that of the price of a bullet. Yes it is doom and gloom a picture that I perceive this scenario we are in as a specie that is endowed with a free thinking mind unlike the rest of other creatures that walk the earth and yet we are the harbinger of death and destruction to it.
Over the past seventy years I have seen and experienced the best of times and the worse and till this date I am still wondering if it is all predestined or simply life playing out its allotted span of time for me as an individual. It is said by the ancient as well as the modern day wise men that we as consciousness help to shape and manifest our existence on this planet, we create it and destroy it at our own choices. The Universe is an extension of who we truly are for who understand the very nature of our being, we are the creators and we are the preservers and destroyers of this our home and our existence, individually or collectively, consciously or unconsciously, with awareness or unaware. The Lord created man in His image as most religious text expound but He allowed us the free will to be and act as we please while we are on this plane of existence; we are on loan for an experiment that The Lord has set in motion for whatever reason He may have. To have faith is to trust in the Lord's agenda for humanity and to play my role to the best of my ability in fulfilling it. I feel it to my responsibility to come to a true understanding of this spiriutual principle that has been written in the Book of Life or better known as the 'Loh mahfuz,' in the teachings of Islam. My role is to make it happen whatever it is that I am here to fulfill as a believer. I have declared it often enough and will here say it again the I have complete faith in the Lord's Way and with this in mind I will continue to pursue the right path of understanding in who or what part I am to play in this life; simply put, what is the purpose of my life?
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