Morning has broken...

 

I have just lost one of the closest relative I had to COVID19 and the same man had lost his wife, my cousin sister to cancer a month earlier whose funeral I attended despite the COVID - Lock Down. I was on the phone twice talking to my cousin Majid who was hospitalized not too far from where I live but was not able to visit him due to the COVID -SOP. He passed away sometime early in the morning yesterday and I found out about it sometime at noon when I received a call from my sister to inform me of the sad news. My sister lives in Terengganu, on the East Coast and she found out from one of my cousins here who most probably forgot to call me. Small details which i am trying to not t cloud my mind with as I have learned to live with these games of the ego with those who you have to live and respect with. The devil again is in the details, ( I am beginning to like this phrase,)and no matter how I look at it, it hurts to be slighted especially over a significant event such as a death of a loved one. Anyway, its water under the bridge now and as they say, live and learn. I will miss both my cousin and his wife as they were the closest to me especially his wife who grew up under the same roof when we were young. This post is in loving memory of the dear departed and may they rest in peace.

The external phenomena has a direct impact upon my state of mind especially if the event is negative and more so if the event hurts my ego. Yes it is not easy to just dismiss being slighted by those that you hold in high regard and respect, it is like being shoved into a corner by someone who is out to play the lead as it had happened with my eldest brother while growing up as a teenager and now by my eldest of cousins who everyone looks to as being the elder in the family and relatives. If truth be told  have had my doubts about his intentions which is not all that genuinely sincere much less pure, but out of respect and perhaps my own sanity I have bowed and allowed to be led for the sake of my own children whose welfare is intertwine with the rest of their relatives, like it or not. Ironically my two children has grown up avoiding their relatives and cousins too for some odd reasons. It is not spoken of, but I can feel that they do not feel kindred-ship with their cousins as they do with their regular friends. Perhaps it is only me who has been trying to weld the connection between them for my own needs.

Thus one has a good example of how an ego-mind can take a spin on any given episode or event in our everyday life and turn into a cancer case. How an insignificant oversight by someone can give one a migraine while stirring up negative projections like there is a conspiracy going on to hurt one's pride or belittle one's status and it keeps on festering until something new and more traumatic erupts to take its place and the mind latch on to that. This attachment to external stimuli, events and even images is what keeps the mind ever so busy distracted and filled with discord. It is a tough practice to keep a close watch upon the mental reactions one has towards all that transpires in one's life no matter how small or insignificant, however it is imperative that this is done as best one can so as to minimize the influences as well as distractions that they can cause to the mind. Mindfulness and awareness practice is common in the Hinayana school of Buddhism where alongside sitting meditation, there is mindfulness walking meditation and meditation while doing the household chores or working in the garden. These practices helps to keep the mind less distracted and more in the present where the psycho-emotional reaction towards any negative stimuli from the external is less prone to become infectious.

Upon waking up in the morning and entering the kitchen to find a pile of dirty dishes scattered all over the counter can start your day on a wrong footing least to say. However here I find is where mindfulness practice begins. I can moan and groan, curse and swear and still have to do the clean up or I could sing a Cat Steven's song and get into mindfulness practice by transcending the negative emotions and be thankful that there are chores that needs to be done. Especially in these days of the pandemic, I got time on my hand and having a routine to work with is a blessing in disguise. Get the water boiling while doiing the dishes and when the thought of why your adult kids do not know how to rinse their dirty plates before throwing them on the counter with leftovers still in them, just look at them and smile, the dirty dishes as well as your children and ask yourself will they ever learn? Perhaps if they watch you do it often enough, perhaps never till someone or some colleagues or roommates, yell some sense into their consciousness. Any which way, they are too old to listen to what I have to say anymore, and so I sing, 'Morning has Broken," by Yousof Islam or formerly known as Cat Stevens.