Rambling on...

“The stream of knowledge is heading toward a non-mechanical reality; the universe begins to look more like a great thought than like a great machine. Mind no longer appears to be an accidental intruder into the realm of matter, we ought rather hail it as the creator and governor of the realm of matter. Get over it, and accept the inarguable conclusion. The universe is immaterial-mental and spiritual.” – R.C. Henry, Professor of Physics and Astronomy at Johns Hopkins University , “The Mental Universe” ; Nature 436:29,2005)"

The day I decided to leave my immediate family sometime in 1970 while living and working in Kuala Terengganu, on the East Coast of he Malay Peninsular, was the day I felt I became a man. I felt like i had unburdened myself of a heavy load of family confine, and expectations, not playing by the rules and various other accusations upon my character which I must admit were mostly true. I was a stubborn, headstrong, easy to explode in anger and incorrigible in just about every worse ways. It was a blessing for all when I left my family and returned to Penang where I was born and raised as a child by my uncle who hyad adopted me since my birth. I felt free from all the heavy judgments being imposed upon me by family and friends alike and I felt like I grew wings and took to the skies. Hence began my life of inner and outer exploration inthe human consciousness, like what it is that makes me tick, what is it the allows me to be bullied or to be the bully, what is it about God or no God, what is it about love and sex! 

22 odd years of my life had passed when I arrived in Georgetown Penang sometime in 1971 and soon got a job with Hagemeyer Trading Company, an old Dutch owned firm for import and export of assorted goods from all over the world. I was hired as a prerequisite that the government had impost upon all private companies to do a fair practice of hiring and firing. I was among the two Malays hired as recommended by a friend from my village. The job threw me among the competitive business world of the Chinese where rivalries occurs as a matter of fact even among employees working for the same company. There were mistrust among all the departments which are all run by Chinese and I became a ping pong ball to be thrown around when the going gets tough. But I survived the ordeal for two years more or less until I met and married my wife who was from the United States on a student exchange program. Two months into our relationship and we had a child on the way and so we got married and started a whole new episode in my life as a father at the age of 25. I was a proud father of a beautiful son whose mother was a Westerner, which at the time was quite an special to say the least. 

Life was not easy for us being married and having a child but living in two different parts of the country where my wife had worked in Shah Alam  and I was employed in Georgetown, Penang. My son, Nazri J. Bahari was born at the Asunta Hospital in Shah Alam, Kuala Lumpur sometime in the morning of the 8th. of April and I was not there to be with both mother and child as the birth was premature. The due date was off by two weeks if I am not mistaken and so I was not prepared when I received the call that same morning from the hospital telling me that I was a father of a baby boy. I was working when I received the call and with a mixture of excitement and trepidation I make all haste to travel to KL that same morning. And so loaded with two suitcases full of baby's stuff which my wife had put together in preparation for the event, I set out on my journey for Asunta Hospital.

It just so happened that on the very same day it was a Memorial day for the Chinese to visit the graves of their ancestors and so there was a wgole lot of traveling happening all over the country and which meant that I was stuck with no transportation to get to my destination. The plane, the train, the taxis the buses were all fully booked except for one texi which would only take me up to the town of Ipoh which was half way to KL.I left Penang late in the afternoon and arrived Ipoh sometime in the evening. Left by the roadside in the rain with two suitcase I felt warm tears flowing down my face, I was scared as it was getting dark and all around me was quiet. I stood under  a street light for quite some tie until a car pulled up and asked me where I was headed.  The driver was an Indian gentleman who told me to get in and we set on our way to KL. He was not much of a talker which I was glad but he told me that I would have to put up with his cassette playing a prayer chant to Lord Ganesha which he plays every time he drove long distance he told me it kept him centered. I had no problem as I am used to listening to Hindu prayers as most of my friends at the time were Indians..

We arrived at the Hospital almost twelve hours later after I received the call announcing my son's arrival into this world and when I was led to my wife's room I saw her on the bed with tears popping out of her eyes and a big smile on her face on seeing me. In all my excitement I never even got to properly thank the gentleman who drove me there from out of the blue and till this day I feel a sense of gratitude whenever I see the image of Lord Ganesha, the savior of those in need while on the road and the protector of children, like Saint Christopher. Yes, I believe I was being watched over and assisted by the higher powers in my times of need and I strongly do. Albeit God or the Universe, or Allah or the Tao or the myriads o Chinese and Indian deities, I know and I feel like there is a helper watching over me, to assist me through my difficult times. The trade off is simply that I keep up with my spiritual practice no matter how little or significant it may be, that I do not forget who I truly am. Till this day I often find myself being aided in one way or another especially when I find myself on the verge of despair or giving up hope. 

I find the need for divine help in whatever form, to be more relevant today for us as a specie as we face an ever increasing hardship in our daily lives. Even if our spiritual understanding has lifted us to the highest level of a state of non-duality or absolute consciousness where nothing else really matters as all are a part and parcel of our divinity, at the level of our present realm of existence, I believe we are still interdependent upon each other in order that we may serve and be served if and when needed to be. To the awakened minds this life may be an illusion or even non-existent, but to a Bodhisattva this life is a field of servitude where helping others become free from suffering of any form is the Dharma practice. We call them angels, we call them friendly spirits, we call them deities and some we even call Gods, but by whatever name they are called, these are our spiritual guides and assistants, our Dharma friends and invisible playmates. They need us as much as we need them but it is up to us to be resonant to the inter- connection of this relationship. All I had left while standing in the drizzling rain under the street lamp with two suitcases full of baby stuff on that fateful twilight time in the town of Ipoh, was a prayer and it was answered.   

And Rambling On...

 " The devil is n the details they say,

A book this size has allot of devils, any one of which will bite you if you don't watch..." - Acknowledgement to the novel, " A Game of Thrones" or 'A Song of Ice and Fire' by George R.R. Martin.

"Daenerys Stormborn, daughter of dragons, bride of dragons, mother of dragons...don't you see me..?" The first of the four novel series  came to an end as Daenerys stood in the flames of her husband, the Great Khal Drogo's funeral pyre and later surviving to step out reborn and untouched accompanied by three baby dragons, as the Dragon Queen. I finished reading the novel a few days ago and after having seen the whole series twice back to back, the does justice to the Movie and the movie does a great deal of justice in manifesting the Book. I cannot tell whether having seen the series and then reading the book was better or vice versa. A Game of Thrones is no doubt in my mind rank alongside Lord of the Rings, Narnia, Harry Potter and such similar genre of fictions today. At my age I am blessed to have been present while all these great fictions becomes alive on the cinema screen and the fact that I love to read is more than a blessing. Now I have to wait for my son Karim to place an order for the next one. The novel was bought for him to read but I don't think it is ever going to happen not during this pandemic at least.

As have been warned I will not go into too much details of how I feel about the story as a whole, too many devils, however I will share a little about the power of reading. Reading like art or a dance, is a powerful mode of meditation as it capture your mind into taking a trip of fantasy or otherwise as your interest might choose. For as long as the story runs and your mind is stuck with it you are focused and your mind is not as scattered as it would normally be as when you are simply drifting. The more absorbed you find yourself immersed in the story the more focused is your mind and then you start to identify with a character or two from the tales and this takes your mind to a whole different level of that of visualizations, or taking on an identity that was created by someone else of someone else. To become lost finally into the story as though it was your own story will finally make you realize what the power of reading can do to you; It triggers your imagination and your power to visualize and promotes your creativity; you become one with the illusion created for your entertainment, you become attach with the story, it becomes a reality for you and when you wake up from this created reality you find yourself drifting with no anchor to latch on to and this is your life, my life. Life is an illusion and we live in a world of Maya, the unreal manifested world a product of the collective mind of collective dreams and visions, of collective fears and sorrows, we exist in the realm of a fabricated consciousness. When they say we exist within a matrix, it is not far from the truth, the only way the human consciousness has been able to evolve is towards a collective whole in body mind and spirit and this may not happen in the most ideal way but it will happen one way or another; mankind will evolve into a single entity, the unity of one, the power of One, the single celled amoeba or we will become God.

If 'the devils were to be found in the details,' a story will have no end, 70 odd years is a drop in the bucket where tales are being kept in the human consciousness. What happened today and yesterday and what will happen or is yet to happen it is all contained in the story and can be just another boring episode or a life altering event, it does not matter, it is still a part of the whole story. The question is how willing are you to dive deep into your bucket and draw out the ancient twisted karma of your evolving existence and air them out to be dissolve into the void once and for all. The only way to remove the devils from your system is to send a virus much more potent that can wipe them out of the system. The details are what holds together the whole story if the story is to be real or truthful, genuine and sincere, so the devils has a role to play in any given tale that is told. This is perhaps why most people loves to hear the details of an event or a story as it is the details that devilish acts are found and makes for amore exciting if not intriguing and captivating read. When you are hooked to a story, you live that narative and the more convincing it is for you the more real it becomes; it becomes your reality.

I would like to remind myself sometime the fact that wehn I say 'you' in my writing I alkso mean me, I am addressing myself, it is a converstation I am having with myself, perhaps my mental self, my mind and I; who am I? Beyond the thinker and the story teller, beyond the writer and the artist, the father and the brother...who am I? My stories are one of my path towards self liberation, towards staying wide awake at every mile of my journey from cradle to my grave, my stories helps me to map out my journey towards self understanding and awareness of who I truly Am in the scheme of things in this realm of my existence.; to see the real from the unreal. to transcend beyond fear and ignorance and to become enlightened from the suffering of my existence and while at the same time leave behind some stories on the details of how I got to be here in this moment in time, of the COVID lock down era, with not much to do but tell my stories as it comes to my mind.

If you are reading this then I am telling you my stories and I hope i can keep you  entertained for while, see if we can swap stories about ourselves. Who we are and where we were or where we want to be, how far or how near are we to where it is we want to be. Most importantly, whoever or wherever we want to be, we need to have a good sense of humor about it. Cannot take it too seriously and inflate your ego along the way, a story has to be told straight from the heart where the 'thinker' is not present. When the thinking mind is present the story telling becomes less potent for lack of better words, you cannot think of a story to tell a story' story telling simply happens and it keeps on happening fo as long as you allow your mind to proceed in doing what it loves to do; telling stories. Who is 'the thinker?' You ask. Call him your shadow, your ego or the other side of the moon, you. that is the thinker. He is the choreographer and the producer, why he is the director of this series, he is who you think you are, He,the thinker is your general manager who is wheeling and dealing for you so as to make life more bearable and eventful than it normally would. But the thinker is of the past as thoughts is of the past, thoughts are memories, experiences, dreams and imagination, thoughts are conditioned by time and the thinker is limited by time; it takes time to think. We all carry him around with us, the thinker and perhaps until we come fully understand the significance of having your shadow as your companion I feel it is best to hang on to it as a back up plan. Just learning how it works is a small step towards self realization.

Embracing both Light and Dark I walk the middle path a path that that is neither extreme nor too leisurely, not too tight nor too loose, at least i tryas best I could and not often succeeding in my efforts. Sometimes in moments like this I take deep breath and exhale and remind myself of who I am and who the thinker is and where we stand while in ur Dharma position before Gods and Man alike. I am not the mid nor am I the body, this the ancient has already worked it out and the question they left you with is to find out for yourself your true divine nature or are you willing to be reborn again as a toad. A bit extreme! I know and this is when I turn my senses to "Ecstatic India A Spiritual Journey" on You Tube. This is where East meets West in the Spiritual/ Techno music to stimulate my mind from the devilishness of drifting into details, a change of course, or perception of stepping out of the groove or the rut. I tell myself often to just,Stop! Keep Silence! Freeze! Whenever i remember I would pull my hand brakes and freeze the motion of my vehicle that I often find was drifting  and getting me nowhere. Followed by a few long deep breaths and I am back on the track that I prefer to be an at this moment in time, being ith you as I make this posting.

For the first time in a long time I stood facing the morning sun like i normally do every morning, for the first time I felt how truly grateful that I have been bathed in solar rays and that my very survival depends on it continuing to be present. I felt grateful that on top of supplying vitamin D to my body I am also being showered deep within my heart with the heat of pure energy, I felt the healing process and am eternally grateful to my source of energy the Shams or the Sun, I was born in August and the sun is my solar extension. It has always been my practice to kep my physical form get soaked in the sunshine at least once a day especially in the morning while doing your Chi Gung or TaiChi, your walking meditation or Yoga stretches, just say stop! STOP! and immediately simply step back and notice what happens, holding on to this state of being motionless in words, thoughts and deed what do you find? I have no vision of how Allah or God would look like and really do not even want to entertain it, but for me the times when I attain to this level of silence in my consciousness and before i start to drift off from this state of almost blissfulness, Allah comes to my mind and I would remind myself by reciting Astarghfirrullah or May the Lord forgive me, I remind myself not to fall into the trappings of my ego or my nafs, I am a Muslim and my faith is in the One and only ONE! Then I am no more, only the Divine Presence manifest itself within and without these moments that words only gets in the way in trying to describe.

  

 

  

Rambling on...

"Sometimes Faith will make you look stupid until it starts to rain!" This morning I received two messages one from my young brother Jerry Sule, the Plunbmer of Green Bay, Wisconsin and the other was from an elder brother who was once the Scout Troop Captain of my secondary school which was the Sultan Sulaiman Secondary, School in Kuala Terengganu. He was and still is a Malay and Malaysian Icon singer from his school days where together with a few friends they formed the first Rock Group in the State and his name is Adnan Othman and chances are if you ask any Malay old timers and new ones alike, who this guy is, they would tell you. Adnan likes to send me 'Doa's or Muslim prayers and this morning for the first time it occurred to me to really pray word for words as it was sent and feel it in my heart and this is how I should send my prayers, where all is covered as should be covered. Yes, Sometimes Faith will make you look stupid until it starts to rain...I do not know who quoted this but it posted on facebook first time look at it this morning. With a little bit of faith you might still be able to move that mountain the stands before you.

Jerry Sule was about sixteen or seventeen when I first hung out at his home down in the basement along with two other brothers John and Joe, their parents and sister lives upstairs. Their dad was a computer salesman selling for IBM and this was in the 70s-early 80s in Green Bay, Wisconsin; the Packers Country. The City of Green Bay are the proud owners of their own ball team and Vincent Lombardi and Bart Starr were the icons that were a part of everyone''s consciousness when football times comes around. Jerry Sule when he was about seventeen took a trip with me driving an old Chevy Impala from Green Bay, all the way south to the Southern tip of New Mexico. It was in winter and we left Green Bay with a trunk full f canned food and a two man tent and the idea was to drive all the way south to New Mexico and   into the Arizona and then cut back into Colorado and back to Green Bay, Wisconsin. And now Jerry in his early fifties with a few grand children. We keep in touch over the years through the Messenger and Face Book and chat over who has done what and where in the politics of the US. Jerry is very into politics and sometime it is hard to keep up with his thoughts and ideas. The recent events following the Presidential Election was a nightmare; Jerry is a diehard Republican and worships Donald Trump and Joey his elder brother is a staunch Democrat; I have to keep myself from getting stuck in the middle when there's chats going on between the brothers.

To wake up one morning and entertain two messages from two different characters in you life from two diverse location of east and west and to react to their postings spontaneously takes some mental juggling. It is if you care to indulge yourself in your relationship to others especially those closest to you, then you have the morning cut out for you. You just logged yourself into your computer and telling your stories while posting this Blog. This is how the mind functions when it has found its routine or habit that is most comfortable and safe it wants to indulge. As happens so often surely but slowly it will start to fall asleep while making this happen. The mind gets tired too, just like me, the mind has its limitations and can be brought to be still in silence through dedicate practice and mastery over the mental issues. Stories are told in order for the mind to keep on rambling and  the effort is to keep the ramble with a positive and creative vibe and output that hopefully will be of benefit to those who share in reading this. As for the writer himself it is a matter of justifying my existence in this realm of the Nirmanakaya of Shakyamuni Buddha, the Historical Buddha,; it is yet another Brick in the Wall...which this too shall pass. #greenay #wisconsin #packerscountry #newmexico #arizona

 

Still rambling...

  The life of Jetsun Milarepa is not unlike that of Miyamoto Musahshi, the historically considered to be the greatest samurai swordsman in all of Japan, Where Milarepa had Marpa for his teacher, Miyamoto had Takuan the priest as his.Miyamoto when in his younger days was a rouge of a swords fighter who was hot headed and had killed many due to his rambunctious character both as a youth and as a swordsman. The name Takezo kun struck terror and disgust among the local villagers as he was considered a killer, out of control, beyond reach, over the edge, kind of kid who lost it. Milarepa on the other hand used black magic to wipe out almost an entire wedding party held by his adopted parents his uncle who rbbed him of all and everything and driven his mother and him out of their home eventually, or something like that and this pissed Milarepa off badly. Revenge was in the form of magic, black magic and Milarepa found and practiced this art and upon mastering it called down death upon those who attended the wedding at his former home by his uncle and his family. It was aid that all hell broke loose and the roof came down upon the entire congregation and for this Milarepa had to found himself trapped in a karmic delusion of the worst kind; guilt.

The detail to Miyamoto Musashi's life story is still one of the most popular and well studied character of a warrior poet and artist who found redemption through selfless act as a master swordsman. Musashi was caught and tide up and hung from a big tree for a few days with no food or water. Came rain or shine Musashi hung there like a rag doll. Thus began the education of Miyamoto Musashi at the hands of Zen Master Takuan Osho. Milarepa was not punished as severely as Musashi was at least not immediately, Milarepa was tortured from the day he was accepted as a disciple of Marpa till the day he attained self liberation. Marpa was unmerciful in his effort to heal Milarepa and liberate his mind from being strangled by a sense guilt. Miyamoto Musashi too was put through similar rigorous spiritual exercizes and mental discipline by the monk Takuan Osho,  For more accurate details, if it interests you to enjoy more of these historical characters you may google it or go on You Tube; what a Miracle!

They are stories I picked up along the way throughout my life, at some point I took a great love and interest in the Japanese culture and history especially in the life of the Samurai warriors and theri code of Bushido and their Zen practice in the art of the Swordsman. I have a very high regard for the form and etiquette displayed by the master samurais especially when in audience facing their Lord. This to me is the most clearly manifested Zen practice while in daily life; Zen or meditation in Action. Even though it was just in movies like the series called "The Blind Swordsman" or The last Samurai, or as depicted in many Kurosawa's movies, the Samurai carry with him an air of deadly elegance. A man determined in his action that acts spontaneously  without any single thought in mind for his life was on line. To strike down an opponent without remorse or regret, nor out of anger or maliciousness, is the way of the Sword. As spoken in the Bhagavad Gita, there is no doing or a doer, there is just spontaneous action and similarly to die from a battle means that there is none who is stricken nor one who fell. The warrior's Way was a very noble path that belongs to the Shakya Clan of the Buddha's time and the Historical Buddha was said to be a great warrior himself when he was still a prince living is his father's palace.  

The Way I speak of is what I perceive as a practice a form of Yoga of the mind and body that a person has adopted to be his Way. His way of expression, of caring of sharing of giving of being in a wrath while existing on this plane of existence which the Buddhist cal the Nirmanakaya of Sahkyamuni Buddha. This is the realm of forms and emptiness coexisting, the realm of maya of illusions and of suffering. The Nirmanakaya is also the doorway towards the freedom from this cycle of Life, Death and Rebirth. It is n this human form that one can easily attain to liberation or the state of complete absorption into peace and tranquility. It is through this human form that one stands a great chance of crossing over onto the shore across from where you are, where life is suffering. The Way I understand is,  'No Way' and every which Way that works for each and everyone of us riding on this same train or sinking in the same boat; we are all looking for the Way! Bottom line iti is all about the Way of Survival, the Way to keep your head or mind above matter and water; it is the Middle Way.

Miyamoto Musashi left a legacy that to this day it has been well read and followed by many across the globe, it is called the Book of Five Rings. This is the book of Way of the Warrior, similar to the Art of War by the Chinese master Sun Tzu, The works manifests Musashi's awakened mind after all the years of his journey in seeking a Way for himself. It is a book of a warrior's strategy in facing the challenges in life of while in the heat of the battle and when off. For a warrior it will always be walking the rope or on thin ice and it is paramount that one be in a constant meditative state to sense the dangers from all around you at once, in a battle there is no room to second guess. I know this from my own experience while I was in the martial arts school and later went on to become an instructor when I was in my teenage years. One of the beauty I found in putting on a performance in public was that martial art was a dance movement that follows the similar rhythm of a dance steps, especially like doing the tango.

Then ego got involved and all discipline and commitment down the hatch and martial arts became just another memory in the cause of my life story. Suffice to say that I hold many fond memories of positive and negative events that happened while I was in my martial arts years. I might have written about this earlier can't remember, too many posts over the years and it has become like a broken down record repeating itself while stuck in a rut and cannot move on. But the man said,"The Show must go on!"   .    

 

   

 

And Rambling on in the meantime...

 " No matter how beautiful a song may be, 

It is only a tune to those who do not understand its meaning."

Jetsun Milarepa was a Tibetan Saint who spent his a good many years of his adult life meditating in the numerous caves in the Himalayas; to me he was a Bodhisattva of the personification of Action and Practice, The Bodhisattva Samantha Bhadra, Bodhisattva Maha Satva. In the pantheon of Boddhitsatvas there are three I could be mistaken, sometimes I feel like there are four in all if one includes the Maetreya Bodhisattva. Anyway, there's Manjushri Bodhisattva and then there is Avalokisteshvara Bhodisatva Lord Manjushri is said to be the personification of the Infinite Wisdom, He who knows it all, He who is impeccable in wisdom. Samathabadra Bodhisattva is the personification of Infinite Love and Compassion, She who offers help to all suffering beings who calls out to her, She of a thousand arms to serve humanity out of Pure Compassion, they call Her The Goddess Kuan Yin in China and Kanon in Japan. Milarepa I believe was an incarnation of The Bhodisatva Samantha Bhadra, He who works His butt off in order to serve humanity, He is the Hatha Yogi, He is the workaholic  who helps through work and discipline of strong Practice Mind of Complete Focus and Discriminating Mind in action.He is the Master Printer, the Master Carpenter, the Master Fisherman,,,or Fisher of Men.

These are nore or less of what  understood of the who and the what of the Bodhisattvas in the Northern Budhhist traditions. I am most assured that I am not even close in my knowledge and understanding on the subject but I did do a whole lot of reading of rare Buddhist text while I was practicing at the Tassajara Zen Mountain Center, located somewhere in the wilderness of the Carmel Valley, Big Sur area of Southern California. This is said to be be the best natural hot springs in the area. At night I would spend hours in the library where I found some rare and beautiful works of the Tibetan Buddhism, I was more than fascinated to say the least I was spiritually ecstatic and I submerged myself into Vajrayana Buddhism and this was where I met Jetsun Milarepa and His Teaher Marpa. For those interested in such stories it is today at your fingertip, just google it or browse You Tube and you will get to know this crazy hermit who is a very influencial and revered character in the Tibetan school of Buddhism.

The Song of Milarepa, The trials and tribulation of a mountain hermit, His was an extraordinary life of suffering. redemption and liberation. My knowledge of this Guru of the Ascetics is no more than what I read or viewed on You Tube, however his life story kept me in captivation ever since I first heard the name Milarepa. Why am I writing about this Tbetan Master at this time and age in my life, why not for lack of better thoughts the mind have in store like if you have to think why not think of something worthy to be shared by another; this is another manifestation of the Social Distancing Syndrome. The human mind will be going through a warp drive sooner than later; we will suffer from too much thinking, some a whole lot more than others as we live through this age of information, age of knowing, age of mental perceptions through forms and symbols that we are being bombarded from every form of media at our disposal, our mind is on the course towards self destruction. It sounds doom and gloom, it does not have to be if we learn how to 'Remove the Thinker', as they say. 

Sometime when I feel overly inundated by my monkey and its incessant thoughts, I remember to pray to my Lord and as a Muslim, I would recite Astasghfirullah hil Azim, forgive me O my Lord, You the Oft Forgiving and Most Merciful...AllahU Akhbar! And soon I am back in my own home, my heart, my soul, my Spirit... thoughts are fleeting dreams that I have accumulated like dust while walking these paths towards Your Majesty. I realize how corny it may sound to some, but it is the truth to me as I realize my own sanity depends on accepting this  as my reality in my spiritual quest. Oh by the way while writing this I am listening of my all time favorites, Pink Floyd, Wish You Were Here in its original. Many stories could be told of this album, the times and places and people who happen to share these Pink Floyd moments, only they would know what it would feel like to listen to lyrics and make the connections in your own life...So Welcome, welcome to  the Machine!!! 

I was watching a video and this young man with long white hair was giving a sermon all dressed up for the show and he was saying things like why God prohibit from the eating of the fruit of knowledge, a question I too have asked in the past. My take on this matter is to look what has happened to us as a specie and where we are headed for; too much information sucks! And as The Pink would say, The Show Must Go On...are you still with me or have we parted ways for more titillating and mischievous thoughts instead? I am rambling just rambling away my thoughts of the past present and future whichever makes it to the screen as the story of my life goes and keeps on going till the next thought rises and takes control of the narrative.  

#jetsunmilarepa #pinkfloyd #tibetanbuddhism #treeofknowledge #wishyouwerehere #socialdistancingsyndrome

 

Will Malaysia survive COVID19-21?

 As the COVID days drift along and as life gets flipped upside down like turning the earth in your garden for a new growth, I keep a wary look upon how things are faring for those who are trying to stay afloat, to stay alive and not give way to despair; I wish there's things within my power to make a difference for you my loved ones. But miracles are as rare as the rising of the sun in the west or the cats growing horns and God is taking a vacation r so it seems. More and more prayers and words of wisdom are being posted on Face Book to keep the despondent anchored to their sanity and not lose their hopes. Words, mostly empty words plagiarized from ancient texts and long dead philosophers and saints being rehashed to awakened a dying spirit, perhaps it does work on some, but as a whole humanity is becoming disenchanted and the only thing that is keeping the spirits high is the Euro-2021 soccer matches. There aught to be a Soccer God that we can all worship during times like these and yes there already are deities like Cristiano Ronaldo, Mo Salah, the "Egyptian King,' of the Liverpool Team, and a few others. When Ronaldo removed the can of Coke soda from his press conference table it cost the soda company Billions in loss of revenue, now that is what demigods do.

No matter how we look at it, it is not a good prospect for those whose livelihood is self sustained. The small grocery shops, the roadside coffe shops the food stalls and the rest of such similar self operated small businesses are disappearing one by one at least here in my hometown and many of these owners are my friends. Where will it all lead to, it is anybody's guess and rest assured it will not be a positive end. What is happening all over the country is a sense of uncertainty, of no proper understanding or cohesion from which the general public can abide by. The fault sad to say lies in the political state of that the government of today is experiencing. There is practically no sense of leadership in the government and decisions are being made haphazardly without proper deliberation as in the parliament where pros and cons are being debated before a decision is being made. The King has declared a state of emergency for the nation as advice by the prime minister and this thus far has solve nothing if not exacerbates the condition even further. Marshal laws means the parliamentary system is being put on hold and this means there is no check and balances over the decisions being made and the laws being passed, the people are at the mercy of the powers that be. Much can be said on this matter, however suffice to say that saying the wrong things about the state we are in today can land one into unwanted predicament.

The pandemic itself to me is less of a problem than the manner in which the nation is being led to face it and perhaps this is a common factor in most developing countries where the political system s as fragile and and incompetent as ours is. In the meantime the peoples' suffering grows day to day as they run out of their hard earned resources and their future is bleak. No doubt we are all facing a common enemy and there is no sides that can be blamed as the virus knows no caste, color or creed and anyone and everyone is potentially susceptible to be sick. Most, if not all of the population are aware and are taking all the precautions needed to avoid being infected, however the lack of proper leadership and commitment by the authorities and agencies in carrying out mass emergency responses especially in the health and environmental issues throughout the county is much to be desired. The vaccine program that is being instituted is lacks any sense as it is not properly thought out on who is to receive it. I believe the younger and working generation should be given the priority to et vaccinated than the elderly for instance as common sense would dictate that these people are more mobile and come into contact with more people in their daily routine than the elderly. The older people should be made to stay home and avoid unnecessary travel instead of being given priority to receive vaccination over the younger generation.

In this country as in  most like it, the elder of the society cling on to their status at work and most out of fear of loosing their steady income and worry over their uncertain pension funds being available when they retire, are depriving the young of their job as well as experience opportunity. As such most decision made are catered towards self preservation of the older generation while the younger generation will have to wait their turn which might never come in time and most are forced to take on jobs that they were not qualified or trained to do while in colleges and universities. Most end up flipping burgers on the roadside or selling bundle cloths to stay afloat. The young are being marginalized due to the lack of opportunity to take on what they were educated and trained to do whic is reflective of those who occupy the seats in the government or the parliament. If you watch he parliament in session you will notice that ther is hardly a young face among the so called law makers and as such most thoughts and ideas remain archaic and bias towards keeping the status quo of those past their retirement age. Perhaps this is why the vaccination priority caters towards getting the elderly done first. 

     

  

It is not that I hate Hospitals and doctors...

 My legs are swelling! Out of the blue my left leg began swelling  almost a week ago, no pain just swelling. A new perspective to pain and suffering? The physical body giving up in one form or another as part of the wear and tear of the years? Off course it is a sign of an imbalance of of one element or another that is causing this latest phenomena in my physical body on this plane of existence; too much salt consumption most probably, love that soy sauce. I did kept my appointment for my first vaccine which fell on the 14th. and that ended up in a bad way as by the time I made it to the vaccine table they discovered that my blood pressure was way too high and I had to be bed ridden just to bring it down. Instead of getting vaccinated there I was on my back in a room with three beds and a blood pressure kit attached to my arm. This happened after I had to walk half a city block up and down stair and ramps for more than ten minutes and a few rest stops after being dropped off at the wrong entrance to the sports complex where the vaccine venue was being held. At the cost of over forty Malaysian Ringgit for the cost of the Grab to get me there and back I was still unable to get vaccinated, instead I got a letter to take to a physician at the General Hospital for a check up on my condition.    

Yesterday my daughter and I decided to go to the hospital and do my medical check up, to follow up on what I was required to do, however after afew rounds of driving looking for a parking space we had to five up as the car was smoking more than usual. I told my daughter that i did not want to be accused of 'smogging' the hospital area. My car has a major engine problem and by right is way past its retirement date, it is with anxiety and embarrassment that i drive these past few months. On the way home I tried to explain to my daughter how I felt about my general physical condition. I told her that I am fine as far as my high blood pressure and whatever ailments that I am facing as I know how i can control so as not to become critical. However most of the time it is when I am forced to act out of the ordinary and against my will that my ailment reacts and becomes critical. I tried to point out to her the situation we were in, like trying to find a a parking space and the walking all the way to the doctor's office and waiting and then putting up with the insults and accusations by the physicians and more waiting for the medications and why? Just to get myself some pills that would settle my high blood condition to a normal level and that if I am not told that got some new problems like why my legs are swelling. The same with going for my vaccine, if it is up to me I do not want to be vaccinated, I do not have a full confidence in its efficacy or that it would solve the problem, however I am forced to by the powers that be and obligated to my children to do so. 

Some would say I am turning into a stubborn old man, others may look at it as an irresponsible behavior of not taking care of myself or that i hate to go to the doctors. They are all most probably right, but I am not one who takes these matters lightly as it concerns my well being as a whole, for sure I have done a whole lot of discerning over these issues and I do not come to my conclusions lightly. At my age which in two months would be 73 years old, I feel I can tell when and what I need and if given a choice I can fare better without too much pushing one way or another from those who care for my well being; I fully trust in myself to care for myself. One of my criteria in making any form of conclusion is to reflect upon those who have lived their lives before me, like my father and uncles and relatives and friends of ages close to my own today; what were they like when they were in their sixties, seventies or eighties. They all died of one cause or another no doubt and I will too however I feel like I have kept myself well within the comfort zone not suffering any crippling ailment like a massive stroke that would cause a paralysis of some kind, but at 73 anything is possible and this I accept. I cannot fight the inevitable but I can maintain what I have and keep my physical and mental health steady as she goes. 

What is more crucial for me is the fact that I can still be lucid in my thinking process and even productive in sharing my god given talents if and when needed. It is my intention that I keep this ongoing journal of mine which is now in the form of a Blog alive and share whatever it is that is happening in my life to become a reflection for those who stumble upon this Blog. I hope that this Blog will be my legacy to leave behind if not for my own children it would be for others' and that it would touch their lives in some small way that would help them to find their way through the trials and tribulations of life that they face. Especially in these days of the pandemic and global uncertainty, of wars and economic failures, of fears and famine; I hope my boring and tedious Blogging would provide some measure of comfort.  

All it takes is Love...Unconditional Love.

 As the intensity of the COVID19 pandemic fluctuates from one moment to another and general Lock Downs are being imposed throughout the country one begin to see the how affected the population is from lack of sense of direction and uncertainties. The private sectors especially those who carry out small businesses are beginning to feel the dire and critical state of their very survival. Small retailers, grocery shops, coffee shops, small restaurants and roadside stalls, barber and beauty salons, are among the most affected small businesses and most are folding up their operations. The Pandemic is getting to become more serious and the population is beginning to feel the pressure and anxiety materially, psychologically and spiritually. Some calls it a wake up call for humanity as a whole while others are still figuring out who to point their fingers at while others yet are becoming much more richer and powerful through the exploitation of the whole situation mankind is facing.

While humanity faces the threat of a serious pandemic the major so called world leaders are rapping up their agendas in saber rattling and phallic shaking against one another vying for dominance. Headlines like, "Russia fortifies Central Asia military clout before US Afghan exit," or " Indonesia looks to triple submarine fleet after China incursions," or "US flags 'serious concerns' over Cambodia's China-backed navy base." These are among the headlines of the Japanese media Nikkei Asia as advertised on Face Book of late. For every story behind the headline of this nature, if indeed true, one can only imagine how much is being spent by the various parties in the name of their security interest alone and these are just the tip of the ice burg where world hegemony is concern. Some I get the feeling that while humanity is facing its killer virus there is greater concern that lurks behind the scene in the form of annihilation of the planet itself in the making as major world leaders are out to prove who can piss the farthest. As I have often maintained, human lives are in this day and age valued at the price of a bullet or even less as in today's arsenal of war just about every major dogs of war owns a weapon of mass destruction of one kind or another. You and I,we are just pawns in the game of non existent thrones, a game where there will not be a winner and losers takes all. 

Bleak as it may seem, we have to live life as it is our destiny to be born in this day and age, to become witnesses to the follies of our own making and to make the best of whatever is salvageable of this planet we call home so our children and theirs will inherit something worthwhile to live for. There is not sure way solution at least anymore as most of humanity are locked down in one form of pandemic or another albeit viruses or economic, religious or technological, yes everything has taken the form of a pandemic in our age. If there be a cure out of this our predicament it would be a miracle or great proportion manifested out of our simplest nature, a nature inherent in all of us and that is, Unconditional Love. Yes, it sounds naive and archaic to the contemporary ears as the word Love itself like most words of its nature are today becoming rare and if used is mostly in its distorted forms. Love, Compassion, Care, Empathy and so forth are words rarely in circulation these days in any given language on the planet except in the language of the indigenous people scattered here and there in their native country. We as a human specie have forgotten our inherent nature of being the caretaker of this planet we call home and we have morphed into a very self centered, self serving and egocentric entity not unlike a cancerous virus out for self destruction.

It is a futile effort to be screaming at the mountain day in day out without doing damage to oneself and accomplishing nothing but try one must no matter how futile the effort, if only one soul listens and decides to take on the action of spreading positive vibes and constructive resonance in and about their community, it is worth the effort. It is like swimming up the river, against the current and keeping one's nose above water lest we drown, but swim we must for the fate of the river itself lay in our hands. The awareness that needs to be raised throughout the land is a must for as many to be awaken as possible in order to make a difference in forging our future and that of the planet and it takes hard work especially of the 'inner engineering," as Sat Guru, the self proclaimed Hindu Mystique would call it. Humanity is drifting and we are so far removed from our spiritual or as the Buddhist call it Dharma Position that we have become adrift in the ocean of Samsara or suffering with no anchor nor any rudder to guide us by. Blinded by science and technology, intellect and politics, we have practically lost our original humane nature of Love, Compassion and Devotion; we are governed by our Greed,, Hate and Ignorance; we call it the will to survive.

"We have been infected with this idea that love is an emotion only felt between two people. But love is universal. an energy, a contagious force, a gift. To save a worm from the hot sun is to love, to smile at a stranger is to love. To be grateful, to be, to be hopeful, to be brave, to be forgiving, to be proud, is to Love." - A.R. Lucas.

#unconditionallove, #arlucas,#nikkeiasia,#innerengineering

 

 

"I said that it would be so and it be so!

 " You did not come here to be the vibrational version.

You came here to be the manifested versions.

You came to enjoy your life, You came to feel the progress,.

"To be the Realizer, The Liver, The Seer, The Hearer, The Smeller, The Toucher..."

Abraham Hicks - The Laws of Attraction.

I stumbled upon the video, GET READY, Things will Happen as Soon as Today.upon waking up from my nap which as usual followed by a short sitting meditation before stepping off my bed. I was not feeling positive and as a matter of fact was regressing into a sense of despair and giving up. Feeling that I am not getting anywhere with myself in my practice and so forth. In short I was in a "Fuck it!" and " The hell with it. It ain't happening and I am just kidding myself." Then I sat at the computer and browsed You Tube and saw what looked like an interesting video with David Icke entitled, "It's Beginning t Happen Everywhere." My mind told me that I have not seen too many David Icke videos lately and this looked a good place to start. The video with david was ok but the following above video with Abraham Hicks caught my attention and I played it over three times. Talk about being in the same vibration frequency, the message carried through like an echo from the distant past when I read the same message somewhere forgotten and now it has resurfaced at this moment in time to pick me back up and perhaps deliver me from this sense of hopelessness and despair.

No I do not have to make up stories not anymore, it happens and when it does I try to share it as it is. The Laws of Attraction, The Laws of Abundance and the rest of it is not something new to me as I have been exposed in the past to these principles from one source or another. The Laws of Attraction perhaps has come into manifestation for meat this moment as a reminder of what it is that I am on the journey to find out and perhaps a reminder not to give up before its frution for i have come a very long way in my adult life having gone through numerous varieties of experiences positive and negative; I just needed the little push or lift from yet another dimension of my subconscious; a forgotten principle still at work within me. Yes, I strongly believe in the fact that whatever the mind has conceived in the past to be true it will manifest itself into the future when the time is ripe and there is a need for it to be made apparent. 

"Believes are just thoughts you keep thinking,. They don't have any basis in reality other than that you are creating reality from the believes that you hold..."

Perhaps my being impatient is the cause of my regression into giving up my practice or perhaps my expectation of something to happen out of the ordinary to deliver me from this mundane routine of the COVID pandemic existence of in-house arrest. However i did feel the uselessness and the sense of hopelessness the past few days and then again perhaps it has to do with my decision to give up cigarette smoking, well at least for now. I mention this only to remind myself that sometimes things happen for obvious reasons that we tend to overlook like giving up smoking can lead  to depression. The is a part of the equation that i just now realized as to why i felt a sense of regression and despair hitting me. A major aspect of meditation practice is enhance awareness of one's daily routine and habits, like everything is blown out larger than it really is. Episodes and events, simple matters and ordinary stuff becomes more exaggerated made to seem more relevant that they really are. Another aspect of meditative practice that is often overlooked is the fact that negative events and phenomena holds a more dominant grip upon the consciousness than positive ones.

I realize too that one of my problems having these regressions is the fact that i easily forget who I am. I often woke up with aches and pains perhaps synonymous with old age and this immediately transform into a negative mental condition. Hence why i like to sit in meditation for a while before i make my move off the bed. This shoet period of sitting would help to unwind the night's tangles from my consciousness. By proper breathing and which leads to the realignment of the physical body I would often dispel most of the nagging aches and pains in my joints and especially in the center of my chest. I would usually continue with some stretching movements after i have felt the settling down f my entire body and this helps to renew and rejuvenate myself loosening up most of my knotted muscles the result of sleep. All in all the key to waking up with a positive state of mind is to focus on one's breathing which will release most of the tied up, knotted and tangled muscles in the entire body thus allowing for a free uninterrupted flow of the energy or Chi throughout the body.    

" I said that would be so, and it be so." 

"Kun faya Kun."

#abrahamhicks, #lawsofattraction.