A Message to the young ones.

 It has been almost a week now that my cousin sister and I called her Piah, has passed away, she was one of those relatives that I am very close to and will miss her presence even though we see each other every once in a while due to circumstances. I was at her funeral and threw some earth into her grave as a gesture of my farewell at the end of her burial proceedings. She had succumbed to her abdominal cancer which was ironic for one who loves to cook and enjoys eating. What came to my mind while at the funeral was how my nieces and nephews has an attitude problem when it comes to respecting their elders. I am not talking about her children but in genral as I have many of my own and many with their own children. I have been keeping this observation not wanting to make it an issue myself but as it is my intention to untangle the tangles in my own personal life, it is imperative that I take on this issue once and for all. My brothers and sisters all have their own children, my nephews and nieces and some of the have their own children making these my grandchildren. As I get older I began to notice how distanced these children are from me as though I do not exist, much less to be concerned with.

 Not a call nor a message on face book or any form of communication whatsoever over the year so much so that if we were to pass each other on the road we would not know who or how we are related to one another. I am not expecting any warm and cordial attention from them just a simple hello now and then would suffice. Perhaps the elders today have much to be blamed for the manner in which the younger generation has little or no respect for them or their status in life. Perhaps it is the shades of what is to come where the family unit in concern; call it family distancing.

For myself having been living in the same house with my two adult children I have come to realize that Love alone does not cover the whole spectrum of bringing up your kids, the love has to be accompanied by respect and appreciation. Recognizing their abilities and accomplishments their success and failures and serving them needs without having to be asked is crucial in creating a strong bond in the parent child relationship. Not imposing my own will, albeit religious or spiritual thoughts and ideals, is also a part of the process and most of all getting to know and understand who they are or having grown into and encouraging them in every step forward they take is a very important awareness to not take it for granted. When dealing with my children as they become adults I assume them to be treated more as my trusted friends than my kids. If they cop an attitude then i learn what it is that is not going right or I would simply retreat into my cave usually meditating or reading my novels and if they are successful in any small ways I let them know that I am aware and am proud of their accomplishment. If they insist that I should watch Liverpool play at 3am. I make an effort to enjoy the game or watch Game of Thrones for the second round for that matter.  Their opinions matters more than my own on things that pertain to daily living like keeping medical appointments and grocery shopping. I am beginning to feel like I am entering a phase of playing a reverse role in our relationship; the father becomes the child. I never claim to be a good father but I do my best to make amends where amends are needed and carry my responsibility with sincere determination as a father

There is no sure fired way to deal with your children especially when they have become full flesh adults themselves and circumstances has made it such that you are not able to leave them and be on your own like you used to. However i have a strong believe in teaching by example I do what I feel is right by me and if by chance they like it good if not well you go your way I mine and thus there is no coerce or forcefulness in getting across my message to them. One of the reasons why I keep making my postings in this Blog, right or wrong it is up for debate and nothing is etched in stone. The crux of the matter is to share my thoughts and actions as best i can before I make my final entry in this Blog of life itself; start a new Blog in the afterlife.