The Art of Living.

A God given talent is what I have inherited from my grandfather and my father, both hailed from Sri Lanka and found their ways to this country through their gif ts . My grandfather was an artist and my father was a goldsmith and both has left their legacy in the forms of their creative abilities, My grandfather left  Mural paintings that covers the entire walls of the Mahindrama Buddhist Temple, one of the oldest Hinayana Buddhist temples in Penang, while my father left a one foot tall solid gold statue of Lord Subramaniam that is yearly being carried to and fro form one temple to another of the day of the Tahipusam as part of the ritual. When my family moved to the state of Terengganu he created many pieces of jewelries for thh Sultan of Terengganu. However these talents are not what they are remembered for by their children and grand children, they are remembered for being alcoholics and frowned upon by the God fearing Muslim pro genies; they are remembered in shame.

As I turn seventy, I too realize that my life has been just like theirs were and there are times that I feel like I am carrying on their legacy in terms of my abilities and lifestyle so much so that I had often wished that I had been a successful businessman or a mechanic rather than call myself an artist. From my childhood days I had been recognized as having a talent to draw and paint in my primary school and later  as a teenager and moving to the East Coast Art became a problem I had to content with as my mother deemed it a waste of time and most probably it reminded her of both my grandfather and father's traits. There is no sense in looking back too closely, however suffice to say that I did not enjoy growing up as a teenager until I decided to become a rebel and went about my own ways rather than be stuck with the norm; I was an angry young man who took it out on the world around me to satisfy my egotistic tendencies. I detested being pitted against my twin brother and having to live under the yoke of an eldest brother who was also my school disciplinary teacher. My face has been slapped so many times by so many people, who loved me so to speak that I have lost count.

No life was not all that bad especially after I decided that enough was enough and took to the road living mostly estranged from my immediate family; I discovered the dark side of the path and embraced it. I do not blame anyone for the way life has been for me and as a matter of fact accepts it as a blessing in disguise form I became more resilient and  diverted my anger towards becoming a survivor. For over ten years I did not have anything to do with Art until I moved to a place called West Allies in Wisconsin when I was twenty eight years of age. It was there I I decided to past my time painting again after working for more than three years as a meat cutter or boner in one of the packing house in downtown Milwaukee. Later I took up Art more seriously when I became a university student in Green Bay, Wisconsin and it was during this time that I was able to explore my potential as an artist. It was also in my years as an art student that I started to embark upon my journey of self discovery; Who am I?

I kept an on going journal of my works and thoughts wherever i went and to date have managed to salvage more than fifty sketch books dating back to 1978 which I started when i traveled to England on a study program. I was able to travel to many countries doing my studies before I graduated through a pioneer program called the University without Walls, a program initiated by the University of Madison, Wisc. At the moment I am writing this post the azan from the State Mosque came on with the special Hari Raya Haji call to prayer and it is ironic that here I sit relating my past that has a whole lot to do with my faith and belief that has yet to be reconciled even as I celebrate my birthday tomorrow, the day after the opening of my Solo Exhibition today.
“The spiritual confusion of the human world is indeed expressed in its religions. Religions have distorted the emotion of sincerity or piety: thus followers never have the opportunity to correctly reach the exquisite reality of spiritual truth.” ~The Book of Changes and the Unchanging Truth

Yes I envy those who are very close to God     especially they who can perform the haj to Mecca two or three times in their lifetime for I seriously doubt that i will ever be invited to the Holy Land. Yes i fear of the consequences of my life's actions, my faith and those of my children in the afterlife but I will remain the seeker that I am of the truth that I hold to be yet revealed unto me even if it is too late in my life. I would rather discover the truth for myself than follow blindly what is preached by the religions of the world; I will remain a rebel. It is said the "And the Truth shall set you free," in the teachings of Jesus. I have accepted life itself as a piece of Art, I live my life as an artist; I call it, The Art of Living.

For All the faithful I wish Salam Eidil Adha in Malay Selamat Hari Raya Haji.