Thursday, August 22, 2019

I am who I Choose to Become.

 I have been contemplating my next course of action that would help towards fulfilling my life's journey, where or what can I do in order that I can find better understanding of simply who I am and I feel like I am about ready to embark upon this journey to find out. Self discovery has always been my main focus in life and it doing so I have learned many valuable lessons it has taught me for better or worse. I found myself making mistakes with bad choices and simply being stupid, I have also found myself capable of achieving my goals if and when Is et my mind to it, but I have many more roads to travel and allot more discipline to overcome my weaknesses. It is said that there is no rest for the wicked,(sinner), and to have a clear vision of myself I have to keep polishing the mirror. Ignorance is a deep rooted karmic entity that gives rise to many a stumbling block towards the attainment of complete awareness but these blocks can only be removed through a journey of awakening; through action. 

I have done a whole of soul searching through the understanding of religions but it has been less than satisfactory in providing me with the answers that seek. I know now more than ever before that I am not a religious man, however i hold all religions to be of the highest esteem for man in dealing with his psychic and spiritual well being if not his sanity itself. I believe that there is a Higher state of consciousness that dictates and manipulate my choices so as to make sure that I do not overstep myself and allowing my small mind or ego to tkae reign of my actions. To this I remain a servant never a master and one can call It by whatever name one chooses, Allah, God, Jehovah, the Tao or Adi Buddha etc. These are the archetypes  that my ancestors have lived by and are not as easily discarded even if I find myself attaining enlightenment for without them I am nothing but a hollow reed through which the wind blows in and out. Hence, I have devoted a great amount of my time in thoroughly understandingtheir significance in my life.

As I look forward towards my journey into the unknown, stepping away from where I am at this present moment, I also see that throughout my life I have been a traveler, not just physically but spiritually as well. I am no different than Gautama who set out as a mendicant monk in search of liberation from this life of Maya. I know that for every step i take outwardly I am taking ten inwardly all depending on if i stay widely awake or sleep walking. I have chosen this course of action in my life and although I have had my doubts in the past as to how genuine this course is, at seventy I am beginning to catch a glimpse of that light at the end of the tunnel. I am beginning to understand that there is a higher purpose to what i do or what I think an how it affects me as well as others in my life. I am beginning to see the greater meaning to my life as a man, a father, as an artist and a friend; I have something worthwhile to share more so than just an art exhibition or writing comments on fb about things that might be of help to my friend if and when they read. 

" I am not what happened to me but what I choose to become."
C.G. Jung. (Poet of the Mind.)

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