Funerals are not for the dead, they are for the living.

"The Fault in our Stars" a film directed by Josh Boone is about a young couple both dying of cancer and Karim, my son, upon returning from his work at Gala House decided to wake me up after midnight and watch this movie while eating some fried MAGGI. How would he know that i am on the track about death in my blog entries, another coincidence? However, be as it may, it has set my mind on a new tangent on the matter, a new twist from a whole new perspective, from those facing death from terminal illnesses. How does it feels to know that you are dying? How does one deals with acceptance and not be freaked out of one's mind as the time gets closer and the prospect of taking that one step beyond is just about a few steps away? Meditate? Pray? Go Bungee jumping or step off the Penang Bridge at low tide/

“If you were going to die soon and had only one phone call you could make who would you call and what would you say? 
And why are you waiting?” 
― Stephen Levine

We all deal with the impending knowledge that we are dying in our own ways however those who know that their days are numbered are more sensitive to the matter and have better insights into how or where the mind can take one as the time draws near; it is through these people that we can learn how our mind will handle death when  it is our time.

"The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.” 
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross

As death is as unpredictable as the flight of the humming bird, it is for us to try our best to stay within its circumference of consciousness such that we are not caught unaware of our own demise if and when it happens. If by chance and heavens forbids that we were to endure a lengthy illness with an assurance that we would be dead in the not too distant future from a terminal case of cancer or whatever then it is imperative that we set our minds prepared for the worse by making sure that we exit this life with not too much of a defeat, or moaning and groaning, but say our farewell with pride and dignity. If by chance that our demise be swift as in an accident or a heart attack, then lets us try to be in control still of our whatever remaining faculties to ensure that we at least have a sense of the fact that we are dead or dying and not freak out into insanity. This is what the Bardo Todol is all about, The Tibetan Book of the Dead is a guide for those who had just died, to accompany them into the after life journey that the soul is believed to embark upon as soon as it separates from the physical self. For the Muslims, one is advised to recite the verses from the Quran or maintain a ZikrulLah. remembering Allah and only He. It is believe that the souls still hovers around perhaps confused or shocked from the traumatic experience of the separation from this physical realm but it is still none the less conscious of its presence among the living. By listening to the members of the family and friends reading from the verses of the Quran it is hoped that this will help the soul to remember who he or she has been in life and the connection to Allah and thus taking refuge in His Infinite Mercy
Scientists will tell you that the human brain is unfathomable as to its capacity of how much information it can contain in one moment and how much more so in one lifetime and this information is stored in the brain somewhere like a dam or a vault. It is said that we humans only utilize a fraction of this information at any given moment and the smartest among us, barely 10 percent or the whole content. The brain in its miraculous functions is able to contain most of the information and allow for the 'need to know basis only'. Information overload can result in mental breakdown, simple as that. Sometimes we watch a mentally disturbed person busy carrying out a conversation by himself as though there is a whole bunch of guys around him he is entertaining; his mind is on warped drive.What keeps in check these traffic of information from outpouring itself out into the open. Many answers to this from the scientists and psychologist who makes this their life long studies most of which i am not in any position to discuss but suffice to say there are explanations rational or otherwise; there is a part of the brain function that controls the valves to the dam so long as our brain is healthy and functioning accordingly. However in the moments of our impending death, everything changes drastically as the brain is no more functioning as it is supposed to as there is nothing there to check the flow of information from braking loose out or as the saying goes when the Dam breaks loose.
Hence this is where your being present in the moment matters most. Your consciousness of who you are and your relationship to the mind created realities as well as your understanding of what is transpiring in the moment of your death state is crucial. If you had not been in touch with the consciousness of who you are, or awaken to your true nature, you will  find it harder to remain calm and collect when the dam of full consciousness breaks loose; there is no one there to witness this and in its place is fear and chaos. If you had been raised with a spiritual belief system of one form or another you might find comfort in referring the moment towards your spiritual practice such as resorting to meditative state of consciousness or resorting to Divine Intervention or Grace and you take refuge in that. What do you take this refuge from? Fear; fear of the unknown. Confusion, of not having any idea of what is happening to you, of loosing your senses and of feeling like the floor has opened beneath your feet and you are dropping into oblivion...Emptiness.

"The experience we call death occurs when the body completes its natural process of shutting down, and when the spirit completes its natural process of reconciling and finishing. These two processes need to happen in a way appropriate and unique to the values, beliefs, and lifestyle of the dying person." - Hospice.

The process of death itself most probably is not too frightening as one would be too preoccupied with the event itself than to have time to be afraid. the fear is most probably the moment before the process sets in and the moment after the whole process has completed itself and that when one's consciousness relates to one that one is dead and ask, now what? To a Muslim, now means to the period spent in the grave itself. perhaps and i say perhaps simple because n man women or child has ever returned to relate to us exactly what it feels like being trapped in a very confined space in absolute darkness and your mind still somewhat active with the lingering presence of consciousness. Na'Uzubillah! heavens forbid and may the Buddhas indeed be merciful and intervene in moments like these, that one skips this phase of death with as little consciousness as possible. One of my recurring horror movie experience is a Voodoo type movie and a man hexed by a Voodoo priest woke up in his  buried coffin and had a time struggling to get out. But as the Muslim says WallahuAllam, God only knows. You do good you reap good, you do bad you suffer; bottom line. The Buddhist like the Hindus cremate their dead and so a whole separate theses covers their stories; but ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

“[T]hose who insist they've got their 'shit together' are usually standing in it at the time. (16)” 
― Stephen Levine, A Year to Live: How to Live This Year as If It Were Your Last

The rambling on this subject will cont.