Part two of the Trip to KL.

After our visit to the hospital where Zowie's grand daughter was warded for high fever, we set about looking for the house of my cousin's grand daughter engagement ceremony was being held and after yelling instructions on how to get there from Mama Chon from the back seat we got there and spend the afternoon eating and drinking till the late afternoon. I sat and in between reading a novel i brought along called "The Map of Time" by Felix J. Palmer, I listened to more conversations going around me from people i hardly know. I realized more and more that my attention towards what was going on around has become less and less important and I found myself buried in the book or in my breath while the externals dropped off into noises.My eyes roam every now and then checking out the shapes and sizes of the women present and when i caught myself over doing it i return to my book to avoid being sucked into imaginations. My old habit has not left me despite all my efforts, I am still caressing and stroking their bodies in my head imagining how they would feel like. In moments like these i would just give up trying to hold back my lust and desires through all that i have learned in my years of denying myself the act of making love to women through my imagination.
Still lingering old karma hard to eradicate from the imaginative mind but the realization of the foolishness is getting more and more prevalent and the desire to put an end to this nasty habit is always present. What can i say, its my bad.
Jamaliah or Jamie as she is popularly known is the largest and the oldest of the three girls including Mama Chon and Zawiah or Zowie and they have a youngest brother who is pretty much all on his own due to wife and sisters issues never quite settled. Jamie brought with her her new house mate who i learned is going for the divorce court the next day.Oh what a life we live in if it is not one thing it is another and everyone has got their own load of crap to carry in one form or another.This is the moral of this lengthy entry, it is not to capture a boring three days trip driving here and there and visiting the dead, the sick and the getting engaged and getting divorced and last but not least visiting my elderly in Sitiawan, near Lumut, Perak. in the form of my cousin Yahaya and his wife  Yahaya or Pa' Ya as he is known is the 'Pilot of Lumut", the man who took me on board the Russian vessel which he piloted out of Lumut not too long ago an experience that I have entered  in my blog a month ago. I notice that most of men of his age and mine ends up going to the mosque more frequent than ever, more for the company they keep than to really do worship. This is part and parcel of the retirement plan of most Malays and perhaps most of humanity.
The three days of making pit stops at sevaral  homes of relatives and friends was the gist of life among my relatives here, doing my part of "being there for them in times of need, if only my presence alone could be of servitude.It was never comfortable to drive some one else's car but the Waja was comfortable for the journey especially when it was a scorcher outside. I have been with those who have just passed away wit dignity and pride to haves his body laying on the floor with ants paying their respects to it. I did hnot have the heart to approach the body for reasons i cannot till today rationalize about. I have always in the past approached and sometimes kissed the forehead of the deceased body good bye, and i felt the coldness of death on my lips, but this was the first time it seems i just sat there and meditated while praying in my heart the verses i have come to live with for the moment I learned them by heart in my childhood. The Al Fatiahah, followed by the Kolhu Allah and followed by 21 of the Selawat Nabi and then donate theses towards the departed reminding him ofto use these as his guide towards the light of Allah. That is all we do at this moments , is to help the other to remeber his or her practice , belief and faith in life to cross over. This is the journey towards the Lord of Power as according to Sheikh Muhyideen Ibn Arabi as i understood his teachings to consist of..
My phenomenal or the physical perception of it all was allowing the mind to be itself, the ego to become involved into sucked into drawn into all these mini and major dramas of humanity. How fragile we are, how fragile I am. I who have nothing! to speak of materially. In this day and age I am a homeless and a vagabond who lives day to day fulfilling my needs by servitude, a commodity that is of no consequence in the business world today. People like me are the watchers, the seekers and they who live life on the outside, the periphery looking into that which is called life in the normal sense of the word. Who or how many among them have ever heard of The great Sheikh, Ibn Arabi or Sheikh Kadir, (thank you Mr. Mokhtar Holland for the translations,) or the Imam Al Ghazali through the eyes of a corrupted Malaysian, drinker, drug addict, and womaniser with loads of Karmic burdens on his back while quoting Mooji and Papaji and guys with names like Maharishih this and Rajah that, and getting all wrapped up into Alan Watts's version of Zen Buddhism and Ram Dass journey through LSD to attain enlightenment. Who is this guy? Who the hell am I?
Even before the body was washed the men sitting out side drinking coffee were discussing his plots of lands left in Malacca, my mind said this is it, I need to sleep in the car tonight.
These were moment when I take a retreat from situations by less being there in the physical but more in the spiritual level, not attachment nor judgement, non involvement presence., listen to Eckhhart Tolle, or Krishnamurti on these subjects of the mind, it is worth your very existence in you could come anywhere close to manifesting their thoughts, these have been my guides in the spiritual mapping of my mind; what I belief and all my doubts. Life is suffering and in suffering there is none who suffers only suffering is, none who suffers and if one still hankers upon suffering, then  suffer without bitterness in your heart; this is Compassion.. The Bodhisatva of Compassion is said to be Avalokiteshvara, or the Goddes Kuan Yin to the Ancient Chinese and Kanon to the Japanese Buddhism and now who knows what he or she is called in the West. The Bodhisatva is depicted manifesting as a thousand armed deity and in each hand a tool to perform each and every causes of suffering in the world of this Nirmanakaya Loka. or the World of forms that Shakyamuni Buddha came into for His last action as a Bodhisatve, to set humanity free from Greed, Hate and Ignorance; to attain to an awakening and liberation from this round of life death and rebirth.
The lady who was getting engaged and the lady who had to face the Shariah court for divorce the next day both phenomenas occuring before me, what can i say?
Such Is! Such I!



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