I am raking leaves to clean my mind.

It has been almost three weeks that I have been working out here at the Sri Lovely Organic Farm and it is time to evaluate my progress thus far. Primarily I keep the place clean by mostly raking the leaves off the thatch roofs of the huts or chalets. It evokes memories of my time at Green Gulch Farm in Marin County, California. It like doing my Zen Practice all over again, only this time it is in the Muslim tradition. The captain has been a good teacher and has a very good leadership model, a man who has the wisdom and knowledge to lead men through the storm, a man with a vision and passion to get what he wants for the greater good. He is also a very sensitive individual whose spiritual practice although relaxed is still with much depth of understanding. I am blessed to have met and able to work with him. At one time he said this is the meeting of great minds, our encounter with one another.
The place itself being located over two kilometers into the interior from the main road takes a great deal of getting used to especially driving back at night after making my visit to the Cyber Cafe. The road leads into the rubber plantation and eventually almost to the foothills and the Kancil thank goodness is holding it all together. Thoughts of breaking down along the way late at night haunts me but on seeing that most of the locals ride back and forth on their motorcycles in the dark makes me feel like a chicken. The farm area itself is one of the most tranquil and peaceful environment situated in a small valley in between a small fast flowing river and a low hill and rice fields and fish ponds surrounds the living compound. At night stars lit up the skies, something I have not seen in a along time living in Penang.
I am no more the only resident on the farm at nights as I have an Indonesian couple to keep me company. They are sort of on loan from MARDI the government agricultural agency to help out while they wait for their work permit applications being processed. I had many long conversations with the husband who is originally from Bandung and like most Indonesians I know he likes to talk about everything under the sun, I learned to listen patiently. He told me of the places he had worked at which are no more different from where we are now. He was surprised to learn that I have traveled quite extensively in his country and have agood understanding of his cultural history. This morning he came by some large mushrooms and he told me that his Nepalese friend at the former site where he was told him they were edible so we had fried mushrooms for dinner.
As to be expected after being here for sometime now all my thoughts and reservations are surfacing posing questions as to my intentions, like why am I here? What do I hope to find? Am I making any difference in the lives of these people by my being here? Should I be thinking of moving along or should ride this to the end wherever that may be. If I decide to leave, continue on to my next destination, of which I have no idea where as yet, would it mean I am walking away from a more difficult situation to something more comfortable? Again what am I looking for? Am I the guy looking for his lost ox while riding it? Or have I really found what it is that I am looking for and only now am looking on how to put it to constructive and creative use hopefully for the benefit of others.  My way of saying thank you Lord for the bounties You have blessed my with, my family, relatives and friends who have supported me in my taking these roads less traveled. Living my life as i choose to and failing in my commitment towards fulfilling my obligations to others who I am obligated to in one way or another.
The Captain this evening taught me a lesson in being independent and he made his point by asking me to eventually lift both my feet off the ground which was impossible without without a support or a crutch. He pointed out to me the value of being free to do as one please when there is no one or nothing to lean on.This is his approach towards running the organic farm, to become independent as a food supplier and thus ensuring that no one can take away what we produce without paying for its value. The  organic rice grown here has been awarded as the best top grade organic rice produced by the Malaysian Argricultural Ministery. Intitutions of higher studies related with agriculture send their students to do their practicals here ans I am sure not just because of the facility alone but the manner in which the work is done,
I was a guest speaker at the second annual general meeting of the cooperation that runs the farming and most are from the nearby villages who depends of rubber tapping as their main source of income. out of the fifty odd barely half had turned up and the main speakers all failed to make themselves available for the occasion raising the question of what is priority in government bureaucracy. If leaders shows little interest in what transpires in the community the fate of the whole becomes a jeopardy.
But life must go on and for those of us who venture away from home to become a witness to such events it is not wise to pass any judgement on either side for the truth of the matter will only reveal itself in time and time is patience, for patience alone can stand against any form of defeat or despair. The captain has invested over 60000 of his own personal money in keeping this farming community afloat. He believes in his dream and he intends to make it happen. I have to believe in mine, mine is one long ambiguous dream and often enough it takea someone like the captain to help me see my ways through God or through work.