My late wife loved Japan

We could not have found a better place for our Children to attend the Kindergarten than at Mukaiyama Yochien in Sendai. The three years my two children spent in the Kindergarten at Mukaiyama ran by the Kimura family was the best that could have happened for them in their education.  Both picked up Japanese like they were born into it.

With the Kimura family in Sendai- Japan could have been our home , but i was looking far into the future for my small family which was perhaps my error at the time. I feared for the children's religious as well as cultural upbringing; I had a hard time learning Japaneses and thus was not in tune with the rest of my family.. Although we made many good family friends in Sendai i was having a tough time belonging. 

The family with Masaharu Tsubaki, Lecturer, Transllater and Marathon runner. Masaharu Tsubaki san was one of those who came by every once or twice a week when he came to teach in Sendai at the Prep College or Kawaijyuku where my late wife was also a teacher. He was a man full of zest for life and translate into Japanese from books and magazines like the National Geographic and Forbes  and such.

Her students has always adored her wherever she taught. One thing about Nancy, she was well loved by one and all she came into contact with whether in the United States or in Japan, however i cannot say so for when she lived in Malaysia, I suppose it was more than a cultural shock for her living in the Malay community on the East Coast.. In this aspect I must admit that i have been instrumental in her demise which came fast and in a weird fashion.

It is being said that i did a poor job at taking care of my family and I suppose when i look back and realize that I have nothing to show for or leave behind for my children in terms of material comforts it might be construed to be so. However given the fact that i had transported my whole family from one country to another and placed them in the best of possible environment for their growth and education, I must admit the i have to stop taking this bull crap that my adversaries in life has been shoveling down my throat to make me feel small and an insignificant looser.
It may seem a trivial in the past living among your own family and friends here in Malaysia your so called home and watching how they climb one on top of another in order to feel important, be considered successful by others while throwing scraps and abuses at those they were suppose to aid and love as they became more affluent. I witnessed  till this day how the very children raised in the so called well balanced and religiously sound homes  treat their elders with contempt and irrelevance because they were taught to do so by their very well respected and religious parents. I have many of these so called nephews and nieces all over the country. Doctors and lawyers, designers and engineers, whose successes in life has not reflect their grasp on their sense of humanity much less love and respect and compassion towards those who could use their generosity. My children too will join this rank and file of the self -serving, self- glorifying   catering to their self interests and turning their faces away from those who have lifted them on to their pedestals; it is inevitable in this day and age of a dog-eat dog world; as the former Tun Dr. Mahathir once wrote..."The Malays easily forgets."
I promised my late wife that i would care for my two children by her as best i could and now both of them are past twenty one but still studying and hence still in need of my care if not financially at the very least psycho- emotionally, social and religious well being, in some circumstances as they embark upon adulthood. My son Karim still has problems picking up after himself and leaves his room much less to be desired knowing that every now and then his auntie or uncle would take a survey of his room in his absence. There is no cure for such laziness and lack of care except for me to walk away from the whole scene and deprive him of my presence as the cleaning lady and the bitching mother. My daughter who has just turned twenty one is pretty much off on her own, making ends meet and learning the ropes on being a survivor..I wish I could do better for her but ...such is! I have to stop looking West as my other two elder children are either building a grand palace to call a home or wallowing in self pity over things unaccomplished and the last thing on their minds is the sorry sod of a father who cannot afford to make any significant contribution towards their well being in the present moment in time.
I hope and pray that all my children will find their own sources of  fame if not fortune when I am dead and gone and be able to say they too did it in their own ways and I hope and pray that they will not look back with accusations as to how I have not fulfilled my obligations as a father that had led to their failures. I hope and pray that they will find comfort and courage among their fellow siblings wherever they may be in times of need knowing that there will always be a brother or a sister for them who will not judge them but be there for them simply because they are a Bahari. Heavens forbid that they become like me and my siblings estranged and removed from any true love and understanding. iT IS A SHORT SPAN WE SPEND IN THIS LIFE; I HOPE WE CAN MAKE IT THE BEST SHORT TERM. (in capitals by accident!).