The Road to Find out...

" It had become clear to me that I had no hope of the bliss of the world to come save through a God- fearing life and the withdrawal of myself from vain desire. It was clear to me too that the key to all this was to sever the attachment of the heart to worldly things by leaving the mansion of deception and returning to that of eternity, and to advance towards God most high with all earnestness."
                   Abu hamid al-Ghazali, al Munqidh, p.98 Eng. trans by Watt.
                   'The Faith"

Like the Buddha several thousand years before him, al-Ghazali acknowledges the problem of ' vain desire''; this is the second principle of the Four Noble Truth of the Buddha. That suffering is caused by desire. This realization is what frees man from the chains of this material realm where nothing is permanent and all is but fleeting mirages, clouds in and empty skies. In Zen practices the mind is being put into very close scrutiny by not entertaining its prescience, by not validating or giving it added values or judging it for better or worse; the is no desire for attachment or detachment from it, the mind is our source of desire; thoughts and consciousness happens endlessly every second of our daily life but we are unconscious to realize this and thus become influenced by them unconsciously, they become a part of our dreams. In Zen practice we sat and watch the mind with bare attention. When the mental activities of the mind subsides from our consciousness we find the peace in between the 'gap' that allows for one to catch a glimpse of the truth or one's original nature.
Why is this understanding so crucial to me? It is the culmination of my years of study, it is like graduating from one level to the next in spiritual sense; knowing a little more. Detachment from the material world is not denial or negating what is, but acknowledging what it is not. It took me many years of my life to arrive at this simple fact of life through two diversely different teachers of faith each tried to awaken the sleeping multitude of their times from the darkness of ignorance and unconsciousness; the Buddha and the Prophet of Allah (PBUH).
Hence the crux of the matter is for one to read! Iqrar!, learn, come to understand the deeper meanings of your life, that which is hidden from you through neglect and unconsciousness; veiled from that which is the original you, that which is the Atman, the Ruh, the Soul, the Center of the Universe; "That which is a Universe far greater exist within you, and you think you are small and insignificant," The Prophet's nephew Saidina Ali (RAAH), was said to have said this and Ali is the Key to Knowledge said the Prophet (PBUH) while He himself is the Archive. Read! Elkhart Tolle or Jedu Krishnamurti, read Huxley or The Dalai Lama, read the Holy Books, see how similar they all are. They preach and lead to one final destiny, that of Peace among all mankind, to promote for less suffering and more happiness among humanity such that the world can take a rest from the rock n roll it has been subjected to by man.

I spent many a sleepless years in trying to make sense out of this non sense that we call life as we think it to be. Sometimes I feel like I am a man possessed and obsessed with my own mind, my thoughts and perceptions almost on a day to day basis sometimes even to episodes by episodes. I watch myself or my mind replaying and reliving moments in order to make it right, to learn from what transpired no matter how subtle or insignificant the even might be. The more significant the event the more insistent it would be for discussions in the head until a possible explanation or justification is arrived at then the episode would retreat into the back ground to be replace by another topic, episode. I believe this is pretty much how most of us walk through this life looking at it from inside through multiple lenses and in a state of unconsciousness. Many years ago I while I was going through a painful process of divorce I was saved by someone who pointed me to further my education. I have related this story in my earlier blog so I stop short. Nothing is resolved in the thinking mind it is all filed away into the memory bank to be excessed at will. Sometimes information would materialize on their own when you least expect and oops! More ramblings, more discussions, arguments, judgements and conciliation's... a never ending story.
This has been my His-Story, the way I found my home base, my platform my Dharma position my place in the sun my sanctuary, living among my relatives and friends who has come to accept me as I am; I feel free to continue my research into life even  as I no more feel the need to do so. I will keep on blogging for so long as no one stops me and for so long as I still make sense. lt is my way of letting go of all that has been cluttering up my mind, the years of accumulation of knowledge and experiences, good and bad habits, the years of living life here in the East and the West and having to make desperate decisions often times; this is all that I am sharing with my readers if it makes for interesting reading. As I have often said it is s journey of one man's self discovery albeit in a roundabout way through the side and back doors of religions, I have embark into the realm of spirituality where I will keep on walking into the unknown where the mind is no more. I will find my way through with complete awareness unveiled from ignorance and unconsciousness. I refuse to be led by the nose towards my hole in the ground or like a cattle to the slaughterhouse. I wish to die of my self before I am physically dead.
That which I call my self is still that which my mind had thought it out to be, i cannot shake it loose from my sense of perception; it is who I am a thought created image of a man who thinks he is not really who he thinks he is.
Yes it is a long long road indeed, one that will see no end until the Fat Lady sings the Blues and all cards are being laid on the table, while your past, present and future are exposed before you in a flash and you are no more, what do you say then? See i was right, you were wrong, now see what happens...oops! Will the mind continue on even beyond the grave in the same manner as it is now or will we grow wings and fly into heaven like lobotomized angels? Will the two Angels meeting us in the grave be such terrible creatures whose purpose is to scare the living daylights out of an already insanely insanely scared shit -less mind or would they be gentle and merciful to look upon that fear will leave us alone? Who knows what happens when you die what lies in the afterlife but when i do not even understand my life in this present state how could i ever understand the afterlife as promised in the Holy Scriptures?
So this has been the journey to find out. It is the gravy train which i took to ride through this life making it as much a test and a study of mine of what it is all about and in the process spell it all out for all to share on the Internet. My thoughts are never mine, they are echos on great minds way, way before me and many who have attained to Buddhahood even in my lifetime. The great Muslims I have come to study, the Sufis and th Walis of Allah, my teachers and spiritual guides both in Islam and Buddhism, I dedicate my journey to All who assisted me while on this journey.