Never have i been more thorough in my preperation for a trip and never have i had so many doubts over the smallest of causses and issues that i am beginning to feel like at my age now i am begining to feel less confident. I even purchased a traveller's insurance just in case and settled for two luggage bags instead of all the art stuff that i had planned to bring with me. But I think it is the jitters having not traveled for a long time since my last trip and the fact that I am leaving my two children behind.
Got my currency changed for 4mil, worth of Indonesian Rupiah which I hope can see me through the three weeks that I will be spending in Indonesia. Travelling in the past was a cinge compared to today now that i look back upon those years of my travels all over the globe from airport to airport, from busses to busses from campsite to campsite. I have covered some mileage in my lifetime living abroad and often i would take off at the drop of a hat with the least of preparations and often with no hope of return. But today I am concern to the point of paranoia making travel less attractive than it used to be but it is undrstandable so i told myself given the fact that I have more to be responsible for these days. I am no more foot loose and fancy free and living in Malaysia is not livng in the US where most people would encourage and even support one's desire to see the world, here everything boils down to what gives you the right to be who you are. Why can't you be like everyone else, why do you have to be different, why can't you settle down and stay put like the rest of us and let us look after you, lay down your ground rules and tell you when to live and how to die; after all are we not your kith and keen?
Having left my home and family for the past twenty four odd years had cause many ambivalance between me and my family, some relatives and even friends. It was a fault to many and not an accomplishment in their eyes. Had i came home rich and famous it might have mad a difference but having returned and fallen into a rut had made matters worse and had given those who had axes to grind a chance to take a good kick at the prodigal son's return. I am not bitter about the whole thing just plain sad. It has been a long time since i gave up giving any thoughts to what others think about me but upon returning here I could not avoid taking the flack thrown at me for whatever reason and much of the time i have to grit my teeth and play the fool and accept the consequences. Thus planning has become a priority in my agenda so that i am not su
bjected to being accused of self centeredness and whatever else that goes with.
Got my currency changed for 4mil, worth of Indonesian Rupiah which I hope can see me through the three weeks that I will be spending in Indonesia. Travelling in the past was a cinge compared to today now that i look back upon those years of my travels all over the globe from airport to airport, from busses to busses from campsite to campsite. I have covered some mileage in my lifetime living abroad and often i would take off at the drop of a hat with the least of preparations and often with no hope of return. But today I am concern to the point of paranoia making travel less attractive than it used to be but it is undrstandable so i told myself given the fact that I have more to be responsible for these days. I am no more foot loose and fancy free and living in Malaysia is not livng in the US where most people would encourage and even support one's desire to see the world, here everything boils down to what gives you the right to be who you are. Why can't you be like everyone else, why do you have to be different, why can't you settle down and stay put like the rest of us and let us look after you, lay down your ground rules and tell you when to live and how to die; after all are we not your kith and keen?
Having left my home and family for the past twenty four odd years had cause many ambivalance between me and my family, some relatives and even friends. It was a fault to many and not an accomplishment in their eyes. Had i came home rich and famous it might have mad a difference but having returned and fallen into a rut had made matters worse and had given those who had axes to grind a chance to take a good kick at the prodigal son's return. I am not bitter about the whole thing just plain sad. It has been a long time since i gave up giving any thoughts to what others think about me but upon returning here I could not avoid taking the flack thrown at me for whatever reason and much of the time i have to grit my teeth and play the fool and accept the consequences. Thus planning has become a priority in my agenda so that i am not su
bjected to being accused of self centeredness and whatever else that goes with.
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