Prospects and possibilities

Went to the USM printing studio with the instructor who runs the satudio and dicussed the chances of my using the studio while at the same time be able to student teach in return. Not a bad idea to get something going on in the printing medium to add to my upcoming show as printmaking has always been my thing since the University of Wisconsin days, I fell in love with the medium. What better time coulkd this happen now that I am a lttle free with alot of time on my hand and not knowing what to do and what with the show coming up eventhough it still is two month from now.
I stopped by the Penang State Gallery to say hello to the Curator friend and was aked to apply for a time slot for my show next year so that o dont miss out and I did. I decided to do a show in April next year if it is possible but the time has no significance for me except that it gives me plenty ewnough time to get ready after the USM show.
Why the sudden need for shows? I know I can ill afford to create any new pieces much less hold a solo exhibition on a grand scale such as at the State Gallery or even the USM Muzeum Gallery! Well why not? What else is there to do other than not get depressed and keep looking for something just to stay afloat for the kids and I. Hell most of my life I have been avoiding making my artistic talents pay for me, I lack the self confidence in the fact that I can live solely as an artist and not have to depend on any other income to support my family. I have swallowed my pride, pandered my self esteem and dihumanized myself ever so often simply because I have never had any confidence as an artist and so it is time to put my foot down and take the bull be the horns, do or die I will get my act together and give the artworld the best that money can buy, I will become the best there is and there ever was. Geeze its great to be able to dream still at my age. Let them frown and let them laugh, who gives a shoot anymore I have done more than most in this alotted time in my life most of it cannot be valued in dollars and cents and hey the game is not over yet and as a matter of fact it is just beginning!