Ahh! Mono-Prints!!

For the past two days I Have been spending my time in the Printmaking studio at the University Sains Arts Faculty. On the first day I spent a few houyrs cleaning up the studio to make it presentable as a printmaking studio and later that evening after getting used to the tools and press available I pulled off ten prints oe mono-type. It was a great feeling to be able to lay my hands on the printing press and having the whole studio to myself. So far i have twelve pieces worth considering for my upcoming show and I hope to be able to produce at least fifty by the time I am through so that I can have a whole set of prints to complement my sketches for the exhibition.
The stretching of my larger canvasses is still put on hold by the guy who dos the job for the museum, his excuses being that he was loaded with work but does not seem too much in a hurry whenever I met him. I guesse if i can afford to slide him a few bucks it might help to speed up the process but as it is i am again walking on thin ice where money is concern. I am trying hard not to think too much on how to come up with my next rent or car payment on top of seeing through tis major art show in two months time but i cannot help feeling apprehensive about the whole predicament I am in. It would be a sin to throw in the towel and call it quits and even if i give in what would i do? All these years I have always did something else to pay my way through life rather than depend on my art maybe it is time to take the challenge and accept the fact that I have to give it all I've got and stop worrying about making it or not financially. I remeber my good friend George Berberis of San Jose, California, used to ell me that i would not make it on anything else in life but my talent if only i had the confidence enough. I also remember my friend and Tanto (Practice teacher) at the Zen Center in San Francisco who told me to stop my worries about money and being able to pay for my lodging and so on, he said that if i worry than everyone else worry too and they start asking questions. These are things that rubbles in my mind day in day out or my life and there seems to be no end to it, yet i have made it so far by hook or by crook I have I have survived to be 58 and though with not much to account for, I have still my good health and my Art.
My days are getting shorter and my options are running low, I have much yet to resolve where my children is concern especially where they will end up at the end of the day, here in Malaysia as Malaysians or back to the US as American citizens. I keep telling them to be ready to take the challenge for the inevitability of what could or would happen to them when shit hits the fence and I believe they are getting the hang of it with their future hanging in a balance of uncertainity. My wife, I have about forgotten about her and her sad fate. I try to replay our most beautiful moments in life and tried to find out where i wnet wrong, like perhaps we should not have come to this country and just stayed in Japan or even returned to the US when we could. But all that is tossed and gone, ifs and ands were pots and pans, should have, could have would have what good does it all bring me except more headaches and no solace.
At the end of the day let me do my printmaking while I still can and it nothing else it helps me to stay focus on my journey and meet my goals as an artist in Quest of The Universality.
I AM WHOLE,PERFECT, STRONG AND POWERFUL,
LOVING, COMPASSIONATE, HARMONIOUS AND HAPPY!!
I CAN DO WHAT I WILL TO DO,
InshaALLAH!!