A Heritage walk along Armenian Street Area.

At the Achenese Mosque on Armenian Street, one day taking my class for a walk around the culturally rich area of Rope Walk, Armenian Street and the Chulia street are of Georgetown, Penang.

This young lady has the makings of a good artist at least when it comes to executing her works, i dont know yet about how she would do in terms of her personality as an artist or weven her ability to express her feelings with regards to her works.

The Kapitan Kling Mosque is Georgetown's foremest historical landmark, this was whre the early Indian Muslims congregated when they arrived on the island and one of the leaders, known as Kapitan Kling, established the mosqueon the coenr of Chulia street and Pitt street. 

The Achehnese established themselves in this area too and the aceh mosque is yet another historical landmark signifying the different ethnic groups that had come to Georgetown.

There is Chinese temples in every corner of the city as Chinese believe in self promotion the more glaring the better to let the world know that they are there have been there and will alwys be there wherever there is.

There has been attempts to turn this building into a Malay Muslim historical Museum, but when I looked inside it was like it has been abandoend yet for the foruth time. It seem this old building that used to belong to a very wealthy Indian Muslim family is a politcal victim which still infest the Penang Heritage Trails.

The Ramadan Begins

They miracles do happen and it does sometimes even if to minor grievances like not being able to type directly on to my my blog entry page, probably my error and ignorance,but a moment ago i tried to load a picture from my files and decided not to use it. When I canceled it walla! I could write! The icon was blinking write! write! An so i am writing and keeping my fingers crossed that nothing else would happen to put an end to my blogging career which so far has earned not a single cent thanks to Google's "Adsense'. What a bunch of rip off artists, people who entice you with their expertise in helping you make money out of your honest work and then turn around and rip you off; Thank you AdSense and Google too.
Ye i am not in the best of moods and that has nothing to do with the fact that the fasting month starts today or the fact that i did not sell a single piece of artwork at the Armenian Street Art Fest, gave away a few I did. I reserve the right to grumble every now and then it is part and parcel of being a Bodhisattva especially one who is fasting in the month of Ramadan!.
My friends here ask me time and again why I do what i do, like going around at my own expense putting on demos for the public who often times enough are far from interested in art or creativity. Why do i not just disappear on one of my travels and enjoy doing art on the street like i used to when I was younger. I have always yearned to be elsewhere, moving from place to place, experiencing new episodes meeting new people, bu I am at a point in my life where i have come to fulfill my obligations to my children, at least my daughter and not that i am complaining about it because it Ia something that i enjoy doing it kept me going because i am caring for her, without, it would have been much more meaningless. my daughter has been the one anchor in my life, not solely because she is pretty or intelligent and knows how to carry herself, but also because she reminds me of her mother. If i had been footloose and fancy free like i had been for many years in the United States, by now I would be grovelling somewhere in the hell hole of a drug infested slump as I am very much prone to addiction of one kind or another, sex, booze, pot anything that can keep my mind from being infested by the day to day reality of existence.
This month of Ramadan will be yet another challenge to my ego, it will bring out the best and worse out on me as I will try to bear the pangs of hunger pains and thirst, the crave for a cigarette and to restrain from being attracted towards the opposite sex. It is insane how from my years of blogging alone I can tell that I have not changed much in essence, my vexations are still of the same nature more or less. fasting is a form of physical and mental torture and it is the antitheses of the ego dominated personality. Each and every man women and child should fast at the very least once to feel the squeeze that the ego feels in being exempted from indulgences of the physical as well as the mental nature. Why?! Oh well, God says so? or perhaps it is a good practice just in case one gets stricken by illness one would have a better understanding of one's body? or how about getting to know the nature of pain?
But let's see what the Ulama has to say;
When Islam introduced this matchless institution, it planted an ever-growing tree of infinite virtue and invaluable products. Here is an explanation of the spiritual meaning of the Islamic Fasting:

It teaches man the principle of sincere Love: because when he observes Fasting he does it out of deep love for God. And the man who loves God truly is a man who really knows what love is.
It equips man with a creative sense of hope and an optimistic outlook on life; because when he fasts he is hoping to please God and is seeking His Grace.
It imbues in man the genuine virtue of effective devotion, honest dedication and closeness to God; because when he fasts he does so for God and for His sake alone.
It cultivates in man a vigilant and sound conscience; because the fasting person keeps his fast in secret as well as in public. In fasting, especially, there is no mundane authority to check man's behavior or compel him to observe fasting. He keeps it to please God and satisfy his own conscience by being faithful in secret and in public. There is no better way to cultivate a sound conscience in man.
It indoctrinates man in patience and selflessness, as through fasting, he feels the pains of deprivation but he endures them patiently.
It is an effective lesson in applied moderation and willpower.
Fasting also provides man with a transparent soul, a clear mind and a light body.
It shows man a new way of wise savings and sound budgeting.
It enables man to master the art of Mature Adaptability. We can easily understand the point once we realize that fasting makes man change the entire course of his daily life.
It grounds man in discipline and healthy survival.
It originates in man the real spirit of social belonging, unity and brotherhood, of equality before God as well as before the law.
It is a Godly prescription for self-reassurance and self-control.

Thus on this first day of the fasting month I am feeling rather yeachy all over and my angina is back. It is not a new experience as i have fasted many years now since my return to Malaysia. I hardly fasted when I was living in the the US, sometimes I hardly knew it was the month of Ramadan. But then again I stopped being a Muslim when I left Malaysia for the US at the age of 25, it had nothing to do with the religion, I simply just dropped everything and left for the new country. my major concern back then was purely survival for me and my wife and child. Earlier on i had little to do with God or the Devil, but it was only later then i was in College in Green Bay, Wisconsin that I began to rediscover religion. Now i talk to God more than i talk to people especially at night when i set on my bed in between sleeps, I would call out to God to keep me company.; not because I am scared of death but simply because, He listens, I talk. So he said fast!, try it, do your best, see what gives. So I fast, and I am hungry thirsty and my stomach hurts and so does the middle of my chest and i feel cold, extra cold, and the first day is not even over yet.

The Armenian Street Art Fest.

It was not the best of times, this time around at Armenian street. First i was yelled at by the owner who owns a Batik design shop for placing my artworks infront of her shop blocking people from entering, which I found out later it did not. The owner is my close friend Hasnul's wife, she apologized and blamed it on her having a bad time getting started, yada!

The there was no easel as promised by the Museum staff so no mood for any life sketching as doing it on the table flat often gets me all screwed up in terms of proportions and so on.

The one consolation i go from the day was asking the Khat writer Ustaz to write on my works as a collaboration effort, I see a possibility of creating works together in the future.

The life of the party was the all Malay traditional band playing alongside a snob on a violin.

The MGTF staff found something to do to break the tedium of the day by playing 'sepak takraw'





 For lack of proper place to hang my works I stuck the across the street on the doors of an unoccupied office building and the framed ones were lined on the floor. Street Art!!

But as promised i deliver on my hands and knees just so the public is entertained. Not a piece sold even when I priced my works like peanuts, perhaps time to eevaluate my career or whatever is left of it timewise.

To top it all up,the CM whisked by accompanied by with not a glance towards what was happening underneath the tents while busy taking pictures with young girls and just as fast connered into an newly oppening Chinese store which had its door closed throughout the event untill he arrived.. Says much for "Being engaged" as he talked about at the luanching of the 'Artist Favorites Dinner at Citital! And the show must go on...





Catch Your breath, Bahari! You forgot it's Friday!

I will never know what will be the next event in my life until I sit and catch my breath. The next event happens as soon the mind subsides from its constant hankering, moaning and groaning, its incessant crave for guilt trips and foreboding feelings of loss and concerns.I had to sit in front of the main building of the museum to catch my breath and remind myself of where I am at at the moment. Practice as hard as i want to, mind still dominates the moment with episode after episode of events that had occurred a few moment ago and those that took place years ago, and those that will need to happen in the near future. I am participating at the Armenian Street Art Event in conjunction with the Penang Festival of Arts and Culture organized by my friend Joe Sidek as the director. Joe of the Little Penang Street Market a multi- talented personality making things happen for Georgetown, Penang.
I have joined this event last year and had a good time and this year i hope to be able to do more, it is a good environment to share my works; my contribution towards Joe's efforts for this Island of ours. The synergistic, collective energy of many artists and art lovers are involved in this yearly event and it is a good portal for transformation of the society as a whole
I have been ambivalent about participating in the beginning and still have some reserve, but i realize it is only my ego looking at life from a warped angle of a dual thinking mind which always ask for more like what is in it for me. Yes i admit time and again I that i have yet to be able to become self-less and my thinking mind is a slippery as the eel that i once painted in Japan for USD1000. The painting was 1 foot by 3 feet in size and was done with Japanese black on Washi paepr or hand made paper, mounted of three separate panels. I did it id less than two seconds  like drawing a straight line across all three panels. Then I dabbed an eye and flimsy fins by the head.
I took the finished work to my friend Reichiro San the Haiku Master and laundry man and had him wrote in Japanese characters,
"This eel when it came from and where forth it goes, who knows."
After the writing done I took the three panes to The Miyagee Museum of Arts and nailed them together with four pieces of  pine wood i found in the garbage bin. I displayed the piece later that evening at the Gobangai, Downton Sendai Art Gallery (Located right in front of the Sendai Shinkansen Station) This was my second solo exhibition at this gallery and the first show was a two man show alongside my friend from Argentina. Mr. Pimentta. The paintings were curated and appraised by a fellow Japanese Artist who came from Nagano Prefecture and he said that the piece done of the eel is worth 1000USD and I just told myself, "Whatever!".
It was the first piece sold when the show opened. A Japanese lady who happened to be a writer was challenged into buying it by my friend the Artist from Nagano and they never met before. I kept watching them conversing for a long time discussing the painting.Llater the lady came and handed me the cash right there and then.
Yes, the eel , where it come from and where forth it goes, who knows, this is my mind, slip sliding from one thought, one episode one event to another... I need to stop and catch my breath or i will be sucked into this thought overdrive time and again. Take a deep breath through your nose, hold for a second and let it out through you mouth, squeeze it out all the way and then let the breath take itself in through the nose, keep repeating this till your mind settles down. Simple enough, but do I do it? Well relatively more often than most as it has become my practice to be aware to do this or drift along into the busy highways or stuck in the traffic.
I am sorry Lord for missing this Friday's prayer at the mosque, I most probably missed the best of Khutbah that the Imam of the day had to offer. My bad! But I am with You in my consciousness even if it comes as a guilt trip, I am sorry, Astarghfirullah Al Gafur -ur- Rohim.

Devine revelations don't Come Easy.

"How to Hear the Voice of God" by Susan Shumsky, DD, was introduced to me by my good friend Hasnul J. Saidon, former Director of the Museum Tuanku Fauziah - USM. It is pretty much strictly for those who have the inclination towards getting to know the spirit within, or in lay man's term getting to know who you truly are. It is the PhD. level of spiritual practice for those who look at life like a schooling , an experiment or as for the likes of me, a 'practice'. After her years of devotion towards spiritual awakening Susan Shumsky has arrived at the level of a teacher who can help many to walk through the gates of consciousness from the physical level into the Devine Prescence, within each and every living soul. It is not an easy course for those whose very nature is against the the Ways of the Spirit, but for those who have been on the road seeking for  diligently and intelligently answers to the questions of the spirit, the book is like a gift package towards tying up loose ends.
If God would talk to me what would he have to say to me? A question every man women and child will ask at the very least once in a lifetime and what would i have to say in return. If i am a non believer in God or religion then i would first have to ask who is talking to me in my head or in my heart? I might end up in the mental home if i keep hearing voices and cannot ascertain its source while at the same time wondering who is listening. Some have one voice too many to entertain in their minds and soon they cannot even distinguish one from another, usual these are diagnosed as schizoids, harmless in itself but a stigma to society at large because it is always awkward to see someone arguing with himself out in the open. For those who spend a good amount of their time looking within through all forms of meditation exercises, affirmations and chantings and Zikrs, it is paramount that they seek spiritual guides who have been there and done that. I have met many in my time men and women lost in limbo through not being aware of their spiritual and mental awareness resulting from their practices. There is always the dark side to everything and this is more so when you seek to understand your ego and your spirit; which is which.
I am writing now in the effort to understand myself and these teachers in the forms of books and the Internet are means towards which the Universe  or God, for lack of better words is communicating to me. I came upon these books and writers, firstly because i sought them out with my intentions and they surface like answers, sometimes out of the blue, something i would stumble upon and just when i was running out of means to sustain my practice, or when i am beginning to drift into unconsciousness or worse ,despair. I have watched this phenomena happening to me throughout my years of practicing and like most people, I too can pick up a book and turn to any page randomly and find an answer to my questions in one form or another, or at least a small reminder to what I have already know but forgotten.
We are never free from influences and possessions by other entities seen or unseen and especially when in deep meditation whereby we have emptied our minds, the chances of an 'invasion' into our being by external forces or energies is more prevailing and this we have to understand fully; how to protect ourselves from being hijacked. Usually we do not even realize that we are being overtaken by an uninvited guest until to late when the guest wants to become more than a guest and kick out the host. This is being warned in all religious practices no matter what religion. In her book Susan Shumsky helps many by sharing her knowledge through having been a student of the ancient Hindu Yogic practices as in her case leading on to Ttranscendental Meditation and later meeting her Christian Spiritual Teacher who led her into the present course of her teachings. "How to Hear the Voice of God", God speaks to us but we cannot hear His words, he shows us signs but we are too blinded by our daily lives that we do not see then, we cannot hear God's messages simply because we live in a very noisy neighborhood and our minds are too cluttered to discern that which God's voice from that which is noise. And we most probably will deny it is God's voice talking to us simply because we are too scared to admit the truth to ourselves much less to others. I have on many occasion called it 'The small voice in my head" whenever i related my past experiences that has to do with how and why i did what i did or acted as i did. But i have paid very close attention to these small voices especially during my deepest meditative state of mind -Samadhi? I would arrive like in an empty space and there is no a thing left to do or say or feel anymore and the first thing that would come to my mind is, Allah-Hu Akhbar!, La illa Ha' Illalah! (I am being a Muslim), would find this utterance as the key towards facing what lies beyond this state of silence ib Being. In essence i take refuge in God for Love and for Protection.
Last night or very early this morning whichever the case may be i sat outside under the extended zinc roofing of the restaurant where i live and it rained by the buckets. The sound was so loud as rain water hammered the zinc roof i was deafen and in that deafening state i found complete peace free of any thoughts and despite the wind gusting and rattling all that can be rattled I felt no fear or discomfort, I felt the presence of Being, I felt at Peace.
The words of my teacher came to my mind, "Walking itself is a miracle", the Rev. Thich Nath Hahn used to tall us, sitting there listening to the rain and feeling the wind gusting around me was a miracle as only God can make it happen and you have to be fully conscious at the moment to realize the fact that God is talking to you. Had I, like the rest of them seeking the comfort of the blankets slept through the rain, (as it is nice), i would not have felt the Presence of God. What good it did for me? It helped to cease all thoughts and I was free to Be.( My mind was running full time with all kinds of negative, defeating and worthless thoughts prior to this event until I said at one time, go ahead think all you want mind, I don't mind anymore.)

The Kampung 'Elders' came after the Bikers left.

The village elders came to perform a small 'Tahlil' or Doa' Selamat blessing the place among other things.

They also came for the great 'Meehoon Soup and Sup Tulang of bones soup prpared by Dins wife. It is worth a try if you are around the area.

An antique bicycle with the two Aizuan's painting in the back ground.

Pictures of a few Malay types houses found around the area.

The Bikers Dropped By.

I spent two weekends  at Balik Pulau the future to be Tapak Warisan or cultural ground with the intetntion of helping to promote the place. Sometime it felt like a loosing battle with no prospective in sight, then a bunch of Bikers dropped by  raising Hell and Dust, it was refreshing..



These guys were from the Northern region Motobike Clubs a group from Kedah and Sungai Petani and saveral other areas in the Northern States of Malaysia.



Shared my sketches with the head honchos who just took a brief break from their long rides.

I have no idea who these guys are but they seem cool like just a bunch of guys out doing their thing on a weekend.

My friend Din (Besi) who owns the place and wants to run it as a cultural center for the arts. He is a pretty down to earth humble man with great spritual inclination. Like the rest of us he too is looking for the break to make ends meet, but he has the passion for work and in making things happen. His enthusiam makes me want to be a part of this project.

I hope these gentlement would remember this place in the future and send more people our way, htose who are looking for a place to rest and share stories in arts and culture.

I hope the roar of these engines will help to awaken the sleepy neighborhood and that is what i felt about this place since I have been hanging out here. It seems the rest of society is out there somewhere or buried in their homes close to the Televisions to notice anything about what is going on right across the street from where they live. 

The sharing of thoughts and ideas may come as a boon from God knows where and sometimes pleasant surprises like this drop in visit helps to awaken the spirit and motivate the soul.



It is a rush to listen to the rev of the engines and makes you wanna join in the fun, but I am too old to handle the big bikes, mydays of motorcycling were over a long time ago when I realized that I was hell on wheels and could have done allot more damage to myself had i continued to ride one.



Friday Again!

Hence the dip came,  in the form of a chest pain, excruciating angina like chest pain , LIKE A RAILROAD SPIKE IS BEING RUN THROUGH YOU FROM BACK TO FRONT!. Lasting almost two days now; this is the low after having a brief high on nothing-ness the previous day...and this too will pass? Hope so. I sure hat to learn that I got cancer of one kind or another which i suspect I suspect i do, but never been to the doctor so can't tell for sure or worry for sure. No reason to live too long anymore the truth be told but cannot take my own life willingly either so why not a terminal something for the affect of cause; he died of,,,
Nope i am not suicidal or have any death wish before my allotted time but i have no desire for a prolonged life either,. I realized this as I sat in the fisherman's pondok facing the sea with heavy rain and winds lashing from all around me. I have had this feeling many times before but today it was more real and the feeling was one of just letting it be and letting go of this Being. I felt the futility of living till i cannot walk anymore or coughing and hacking to the curses of others around me, I am completely turned off by the mockery of religions and the suffering inflicted upon my fellow man by powers that be. Thank God it is Friday!
The Imam rambled on about 'Tawakal' or complete faith in Allah, they all do this on every Friday, at least they start off with it, a constant reminder that we need to have faith in the Lord. I have mine slowly but surely evolving over the years from whence i was a spiritually ignorant to what I am today a wannabe born again Muslim; not easy as it seems.
Faith alone is not enough for one to be on the path closer to Allah, one needs complete surrender and wisdom and one needs to have the will to act accordingly despite all the sermons and the threats of hell, especially when you still have a guy standing/sitting next to you trying his best to prove that he is closer to God than you will ever be in the mosque. It never fails, there will be an overly pious jerk ranting out the verses of the Quran throwing you off from focusing on your own prayer. There goes your Friday prayer out of the window simply because you cannot dismiss the idiot next to you with a pious. ego. But that's normal in the mosque anywhere in the world; I dress better, I smell better with all the Attar oil and i can read better and louder and I have the very look of the prophet himself (Pbu), with my long white beard. And please do not expect me to smile at you when we salam, (shake hands ) each other, it is not my style the idiot seems to say when you look into his eyes to see if there is any genuine life in there before you leave.
The Imam today was exemplary in his sermon, he was clear and did not need to read from the text but came off directly without a hitch, he was good..He was young and he had energy. All in all it was a good Friday Prayer at the Masjid Jamek in Sungai Pinang this Friday. God was there in the beginning untill the guy started to throw his beads and a thick Quran in front of him as though he was about to embark upon a long spiritual journey which caught my mental imagerys of strangling him., and God was no more, the rest of the service was just details.
So up and down, up and down we go through this so called life trying our damnedest to be rational, willing to take punches and go with the flow. And God is still watching me, watching over me, that is the best assurance i have found throughout my life I have felt His presence but I never did pay too much attention to what good it does as i am always floating up and down like a cork being buffeted in the wind and rain in a sea that is more cloudy than the haze a day or two ago. Yes the rain has eased off the haze problem but it has also created a new one and this not many seems to recognize till it is too late; acid rain., more dangerous to life forms than haze itself. But hey , we count our blessing, cannot go around worrying over things that we cannot do much about can we?; exactly what the mind loves to do, think! think and more to think about, what a happy life it is when there is so much one can think about all day long, Life is one damn thing after another, as Winston Churchill once uttered.
continued.
Last night I was at the Lam Wa EE Hospital, private hospital that ask for your insurance policy number and all payment details first, then attend to your  why you were there, like in the United States. My cousin's older brother in his seventies was admitted. All of us agreed that all he is suffering from is being neglected by his children and most importantly missing his grand children, a common cause of many premature deaths among men who whose wife has passed away before him, loneliness. Sadly still are for those who made no effort to stay connected to friends and relatives as is more and more the case today. Anyway it was what he said to me as he was being wheeled through the hallway was this is life, one day you are well the next you are sick!  I was stumped by what he uttered to me with this big grin on his face. I said to him that there is two kinds of illnesses in this life, the one that comes looking for you and the then there is  the one you go looking for. Which are you suffering from? I said it out loud enough for the brother, the son in law, the hospital guy pushing the wheelchair and the nurse walking ahead leading the procession. I did not know where it came from but it was there and i said to a sick man older than me perhaps things left unsaid. What triggered in me was the fact that we live in denial, i do, most of us do. The uglier the drama the deeper the denial and don't mind getting sick on account of it, terminal illnesses even; illnesses we go looking for.
My stabbing pain from front through the back, I dealt with and is now gone, I completely believe in self healing, through Yogic means and through my surrendering to the will of my Creator, if is time to go, it is time to go; in the meantime stop hassling me with aches and pains, sickness and illnesses, I would rather dedicate this time towards serving my Lord by serving His creation. I will try my best to do my bit and hopefully my bit will grow into a passion and my passion will manifest into what is the reality of Being.

\

Listening to 'TOTO"(Live in Amsterdam)

It rained a little last night but not enough to wipe out the haze and today the skies are cloudy with a promise of more rain but still waiting to see. I have been working with water color on my 100 feet long painting which I started since 2008 and is still in the process of transforming into a full fledged painting from basic sketching format. it has become the one painting that I use as my meditative piece which helps to ground my mind to what is the present moment and lessen the stuff of life that has been encroaching in to my consciousness lately. I am enjoying the work as it happens as it begins to surprise me with so much unexpected new discoveries and improvements.
Art is my food  for the soul needless to say but it is, I helps and has been helping me find my center, my 'Dharma position in my life, that from which I express my Being. While working on my pieces i am able to stay focus and effortlessly flow through time ans space with expressions direct from within. No doubt there will always be intrusions and vexations that the ego would try to impose on my sanctity of being in this state of creativity, but i find it a whole easier now to revert back to being in the here and Now and thanks to having read and practiced  from great teachers past and present. I do not feel  easily misled by thoughts and unconsciousness like I used to. Yes it takes a long time to heal the splintered soul and it is far from an easy road to take but now as i am starting to feel its fruits ripening and falling to the ground I am more settled and the act creativiity comes a whole lot more fluidly.
I am thankful indeed, Alhamdullilah, shukur bagi Allah, thank you Lord, Arigato Gozaimasu' O Kami Sama, Om Sahnti Om! for giving these few blessed moments of calm and tranqulity especially when I sit outside my home among tables and chairs of the restaurant in the wee early morning hours when hardly any traffic passes by to disrupt my consciousness. I talked to my Lord! After such a long spell of crying out for help and solace, i am finally hearing God in my heart telling me to chill, that all is well as well can be for me and for the Universe. The haze, the murders the robberies the unexpected deaths of loved ones and the state of suffering in the war torn countiries in the Middle east and elsewhere on earth, the starvation and the destitution of countries in Africa. the floods and bruening that is claiming untold lives and destruction; it is all part and parcel of my existence and i accept it all willingly.
Yes i am far from 'cured', but i am on the road to recovery, I am approaching my own final cut into the unknown, my leap of faith into that which is beyond my thoughts and imagination and i celebrate this feeling with all those who read this blog. yes  as my friend Jason would remind me, and this too will pass no doubt. But in the meantime i will reap the harvest of this Grace with as much positive as well creative expression that I can share with the world as i can, (am most probaly missing an important appointment somewhere- says the ego), but hey like my son Karim found out, Shit happens! Karim found out that he missed his important exam by one day and thus has to wait another year to take it again! All he had to say on Face Book was . "Shit happens!" Way to go boy! You have learned a littlebit of your Dad's Ways. Live and learn, learn the easy and smart way or the hard and painful way, but learn you must from all your errors and foulups. Rebound, get up and try even harder with greater effortlessness and the will to accomplish the unaccomplishable, reach out for that which is far beyond your grasp but remember even if you fail to attain your goals at least you tried, you gave it all you got and never once looked back with regret.
All is vain, all is impermanent all is fleeting and evernescent, life itself is a total illusion where the external manifestation are concern and if you do not understand this it is ok for it is not somehting one learn but what one discovers through Being. Being is something that humanity has lost, most of us exist in space and time like zombies succumbing to the fate and follies of so called life's incessant vexations and dramas. If we can take that step to leave the vicious cxircle of this stagnant state of unconsciousness we each and everyone of us might just be able to heal ourselves and help to heal the world; We are the caretakers, we are the visgerent, we are the guardians of this dimesion of existance as elected by Allah in His Good Book the AlQuran Nur Karim. So let us be one and act like it, if not we are no better than the creatures of the earth and the seas and the skies, seen and unseen, or worse.
We are here primarily to celebrate life, it is our destiny to make a heaven out of this place we call home, but instead we are the cause of suffering, untold suffering of our fellow creatures and if sentient beings on this planet other tha humans could express their minds we mankind would be in the deepest hell at present. We are no better than parasites eating away at our host not because we are hungery but because we have become insatiable gluttons. We have fallen into the deepest of slumber which is awaiting the nightmare to wake up to and wake up to it we will as is already happening all over this planet. We worship the three gods of Greed, Hate and Ignorance and we are buliding ornate and exquisite temples and mosques, churches and synagogues to worship them in and we call these the House 0f God! O'Man! Will we ever awaken from this deep slumber before it is the end of our days.

Have you ever listened to'TOTO'?! (Live in Amsterdam). This entry was written listeing tot he concert on the earphones, so do not think I am into such a serious mind trip no Sir, I am into 'Toto' at this moment in time and so should you. Life is short even if you feel at times time drags along day to day. No Sir, Time waits for no one and the sooner we learn this simple wisdom the better we are off to be. You make time time do not make you.

 "Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action comes, stop thinking and go in."
Death is nothing, but to live defeated and inglorious is to die daily.”

- Bonaparte

It's a Hazy Dazy Afternoon.

"Last week, environmental non- profit group Greenpeace said commercial plantations control half of the land where the biggest fires are burning, and much of it is on deep peat, which is off limits under the moratorium. Forest campaigner Bustar Maitar at Greenpeace in Indonesia says it becomes like "petrol in the forest", and can burn for weeks."


"Some of the biggest companies operating in Indonesia - Wilmar International, Sinar Mas Group and Asia Pacific Resources International - are based in Singapore or Malaysia. All have issued statements saying they abide by strict no-burn policies, although Wilmar has reportedly told Singapore media that it "cannot prevent local practices of slash-and-burn for agricultural and other purposes".

"But the barb-trading over the haze, an annual annoyance that often strains relations between Singapore and Indonesia, overlooks one of the major causes of the burning - corruption."


And so the finger pointing and cry foul over the worsening haze situation has begun and like the haze itself it will lead on to accusations and worse unnecessary insults between people whose job description actually amounts to taking care of the situation as it is. Now the Indons have accused its neighbors of blowing the issue of haze globally to discredit Indonesia. Hard to see how this can be stopped in this day and age when anyone in the Congo can learn about the haze problem here so long as he or she has excess to Internet. Then there are those making demands for this and that to be done in order to punish the culprits who are responsible for the open burning that is the cause of the this haze and how long would this take? With the cross border laws still not in place properly with regard to this type of natural or man made disasters, taking legal action is the last thing that should be on the minds of law makers, the focus is on how to put out the fires.
As i said earlier this will take collective effort and lending a helping hand towards thy neighbor will be of more benefit than pointing your fingers at him. And the 'accused', will have to lower its defensive stance and pride by allowing for easy excess towards any offer for collective effort to rectify the situation by all means and this to be done with no more delay.
Three or four helicopters flying water bombing over thousand of acres of pit fire areas is a drop in the bucket, what is needed is a massive assault by humans resources as well as equipments that can combat this kind of fire. Gotong Royong or collective effort on a global scale if not a regional scale is impending.There is no excuse for not taking immediate pro-active measures to date and depending on the Indonesian government effort alone is not an option, this is a global disaster affecting lives in three or four countries with millions of people subjected to a dangerous level of health hazard. Shit happens! But we can rectify the situation and minimize its effect by taking on the challenge collectively, this cannot be emphasize enough.

“The government is deploying two Bolco helicopters and one Colibri helicopter to contain hotspots in Riau. The efforts through land have been ineffective,” he said.

“To be honest, I think Riau was quite slow in anticipating this from the beginning. But there’s no need to play the blame game. Let’s just [work] to overcome the haze and fires immediately,” he said.
                                                                                   Indonesian President Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono
                                                                                     25th June 2013.

Right at this moment we can all sit and pray that rain comes or the fires would abate on its own; learn to accept and move on as best we could. It is up to the powers that be to step up and make the necessary appeals and delivery of help from all those that have means to do so, countries like Australia,  New Zealand and not to mention Singapore and Malaysia can and should provide assistance to Indonesia in combating this issue; and again, the culprits will foot the bill when they are brought to justice.
I am wearing out myself on this subject and I think I have moan and groan enough over the matter. As a concern citizen of this planet I have voiced my thoughts and feelings and whether they are worth pondering upon is another matter.
At the moment my blog is experiencing an error which simply means i cannot upload this piece; I wonder why.
And then again, this too will pass...

And what can the UN do?

What the United Nations organization can do about the problem of the Haze that is blanketing almost the entire western coastal areas from Singapore to Penang and possibly beyond is to create a task force to combat fire. This task force will operate with the best of tools and equipments available from all concerned countries and the cost will be borne by all the entities that are found guilty of this phenomena by the international court of Justice. This is worse than a military invasion, for it affects everyone and everything; not to mention human sanity itself; putting it in a nutshell.
The time for action is Now! The time for prosecution will follow or we are all doomed to dragging out tails behind our backs while life becomes more and more hazardous. The number one cause of suffering is physical pain, illnesses, from tooth ache to a major shift in the respiratory department; pain is a sin, someone once said, pain from any form of external affects will cause a major disruption among humans if not physically, mentally or even spiritually; it challenges our sanity to survive. The haze that is clouding our skies and penetrating our homes is causing a major shift in the collective human consciousness in this entire region or millions of lives living in ain due to one health reason or another; the greatest cause of anxiety is watching helplessly as everything around you is covered with smoke.You cannot give up smoking.
Not everyone has the privilege living in an air conditioned environment!! Look out your window and you will feel the heat and the people sweating just getting form one spot to another; we have to wake up to reality sooner than reality waking us up. If we pussyfoot and drag along this issue without active measures, we all of us living unfortunately below the shadows of Lake Toba across from the Straits of Sumatra will have to bear the discomfort of living with that choked up feeling.
The UN will need to create an emergency response unit like a fire fighting unit to combat wild fires all over the globe which will happen more and more frequently as time moves on. Blame it on global warming. Instead of giving lips service in the form of ultimatums, the UN will enforce action spontaneously to tackle the problem and only later will the lips service comes; even the United States cannot handle all its wild fires and it has one of the most well trained forest fire jumpers in the world. Fire spells destruction, period. Man cannot stand by and allow this to happen and keep on happening without acting, and the collective conscious screams for action not liturgies and lame excuses. What did they do when the oilfields of Iraq went up in flames, they sent in the experts to put it out, vested interest maybe but the job got done and the planet was saved from one of the worse air pollution catastrophe.

Marty admitted that the government had not ratified the ASEAN trans-boundary haze pollution treaty, which was signed some 12 years ago. He said it was still undergoing a legislative process at the House of Representatives.
This is only the beginning of the stumbling blocks that can crop up every step of the way towards immediate actions. The UN must act Now! Not after moe damage is done while waiting for more crap to appear n the way of action.

The Malaysian Government and the Singapore governments can spearhead the initial actions being affected by the haze, send all available manpower and technical assistance to affected areas and Indonesian will be under the direct order by the UN to allow for such aids the proceed with the Indonesian government full cooperation. Look at it as a very good opportunity to study and provide training for the personnel's, the chopper pilots the Fire Bombers and the host of other tools and equipments that will used to combat the hazards. Everyone wins and the cost will come form those executed for having anything to do with the cause of the fires.

“The approach must be one of collaboration and partnership, not one of apportioning blame here and there. Let’s focus on putting the fires out,” Marty told a press conference."
                                                              Marty Natalegawa, Indonesioan Foreign Mnister

Hopefully this offer for cooperation will be taken advantage of and not wasted through poor political expediencies. The door has been opened and before something said or done pisses off the Indonesian Government, we would wish we had been more conscious and less rigid in our protocols. Like the Minister said, lets take care of the fires first, then we can talk. This should be a green light for the UN to move into action through the governments of Malaysia and Singapore and the Philippines if the so desire to take part as it would be a good training ground for fire fighters and mergency response teams working together from around the globe., all paid for. Shit has hit the fence and not for the first time and this will continue into the future untill drastic changes are made; we have to awaken! Wake up!

"If the balance between male and female energies had not been destroyed on our planet, the ego's growth would have been greatly curtailed. We would not have declared war on nature, we would not be so completely alienated from our Being."
                                                     Eckhart Tolle. - A New Earth.
 And  it seems like Acceptance is our only choice for now. Like the Jinns we will enjoy the smoke or at least get used to it! We may even get high without the need to smoke, who knows what kind of vegetation is getting burned up over there. Do we care?!

It is SAD, so Sad - The Haze!

My friend and fellow artist, considered as one of the pioneers of Malaysian Art, a man who does not mince his words nor accept authority without blindly and one who had lived his life as he chose to, Has passed away.
Alfatihah! Inna lillahhi, wa'inna lillahhi Raujiuu! From Him you came to Him you Return. My friend Ismail Hashim has been taken from this realm by a bad accident the detail's of which I do not know and neither do I wish to, as he was immediately laid to rest the same night which meant that hes was seriously injured. Muslims bury those seriously injured as soon as possible especially when the bleeding cannot be stopped. Must be allot of Hadiths written on this matter. Good bye my friend, your photos will be a sweet reminder of your presence with us, in you we have lost another great creative mind and spirit.
Who is Ismail Hashim? read my blog on him a few months ago, got his pictures even. He was at one time the Dean of the Faculty of Arts at University Sains Malaysia. He was a very good and dedicated art teacher and he made allot of contributions towards what Being an Artist is among fellow artists here. He was comical, sometimes cynical, always cheerful when conversed with, and most of all he was a storage of wisdom, of this and of the after. He was enlightened.

Driving to the University along the TanSri Lim Chong Eu Expressway, or what formerly called the Jelutong Freeway, I felt the impact of the Jerebu - Haze hit me; I cannot see my favorite Bridge!. I felt very sad deep within me sad of the fact that so much lives of insects and animals, birds and even fish must have been lost. If only the creatures could say one word collectively in protest of this wanton killingswhat would it be? F..ck!! Most of us forget that we are not the only thinking habitants dwelling on this planet; off course the hard core, jaded non- believer is exceptional. But those of us who grew up among spirits and guardians, jinns and demons, we who are unfortunate enough to have been exposed to weird stuff on growing up in a swamp. What is happening to their homes ;the forest. We have become so callous in our pursuit of wealth and so called happiness we pollute the air to the extent that it consumes other countries. We are the diggers of our own graves, that is an accepted fact of our life, but we have no right to infringe our desire for more upon those that exist alongside us and whose very existence we feed on in one form or another. We are destroying the very thing we depend on in our food, medicine and spiritual well being.We have become the deadliest parasite on earth! Everyone of us must be made to watch the movie 'Avatar" at least once in our lifetime.

Attended the Artist Favorite 2 dinner on Frdiay evening at Cititel Hotel and met up with most o my fellow artist Chinese and Malays. The Chief Minister Mr. Lim Guan Eng made a very inspiring speech about the virtues of having a strong art community in Penang. He stated three factors as his line of approach towards moving the State forward and that being  a) Engagement  b) Letting Go  c) Sharing. A little bit of Chan or Zen approach which was a pleasant surprise coming from a Chief Minister; what has he been drinking?
The most pleasanr surprise of the evening was the entertainment which was presented by a Malay group from Selangor called "Dendang Anak." All the guys were longhaired with a red bandana tied to tied around their heads and they wore red and gold 'Sampins' and they looked fammiliar, too fammiliar! I found out that two of the musicians was from Terengganu, nd one was the son of Raja Kamarul Baharin now a full fledged Senator from Terenggnau Sybas!; Raja Baharin and I grew up together in the Palace Grounds og Istana Badariah playing cowbys and Indians. He is a great architect who designed the Masjid Terapong and the Museum Negeri in Terengganu. He has always been a down to earth humble giant of a man. I look forward to see him in action in the Malaysian Parliament!
The other musician i practically watched him grw up in front of me from a mixed up kid into a married man whose drifted from one thing to another and now found his calling. Effendi was like my little brother as so was hs brother in law, Izsm, who own the No.19 Restaurant in the Batu Burok Food square along the Beach area in Kuala terenggnau. What a small world as they say and what a pleasant surprise to be entertained by the very band that had started from sitting on the sidewalk and jamming to now a proffesional well sought after band of traditional Malay Group; their sound and lyrics are out of this world enough to bring tears to your eyes. One other pleasent surpirse for me that evening was receiving a winning numbe which earned me a hamper basket! Wow and my brother Lee Khai presented it to me on the stage what a bonus! And Simon Tan dragged me up front to dance to the band playing traditional Malay songs so I 'Joget!

The Dentist!

Got my teeth looked into and probed and scraped, drilled and filled by a beautiful young dentist who is about to have her baby in August. She happens to be the daughter of  my original dentist, but seeing that her father is off playing golf (not true), I had the pleasure of being tortured by the daughter. When was your last dental check up Mr. Bahari? Oh maybe it was in 2008? Cannot remember exactly sorry. This was off course followed by a load of nagging from the lovely doctor who treated me more like she would her father telling me to better care for my teeth even if or especially when I am at my age. Thank you doctor, I will take better care of my teeth as of now. Your next appointment is in six months, don't forget to come in please. When I see my friends who has few rotten teeth left in their mouth I feel fortunate for having mostly intact and the fact that i can still chew my food from the toughest chunk of meat to young green mangoes, I give my thanks to my Lord.
MInor aches and pains are starting to creep into my physical form, joints, muscles even pains in the bones like I am having arthritis here and there. These are part of my ageing process just being tired more often than before while doing my work, chest pains are a little worrying but i work on healing myself through being in tune with what and where the problem is; I meditate on my aches and pains by breathing new life into the area. Re-charge, Re -vitalize, Re-new, Re - rejuvenate, I would send in commands such as these to all my physical form, , the atoms and molecules, the four elements of earth, wind, fire and water and my organs the heart, the  pancreas, the liver and the rest. I command all these to heal through alignment with the whole. This achieved throughout the meditation by breathing in and out or Pranayama Yoga. I have been doing this for as long as i can remember and today I feel fortunate to have been enlightened into these practices.

" I am whole, perfect, strong and powerful, loving compassionate, harmonious and happy.
I can do what I, will to do; So help me God, (Insha'Allah)..'; My personal daily mantra."

If and when every cell in my body and my brain can be tuned in to conform with this 'auto-suggestion' I feel self healing can happen from within. The physical genetically make up of the human form needs to be informed, taught and persuaded about the reality of its own physical attributes; the fact every nerves and cells, bones and muscles have a role to perform to the best of its ability, nothing is randomly left to its own devices, all is a part of the whole. Being aware and conscious of my body has allowed me to become more sensitive towards the changes that occurs within me whether I am about to get sick in my tummy or I am about to have a heart attack.

I am the Master of my thoughts and consciousness, not the other way round.
I am the master of my Body, Speech and Mind,
I am the master of my circumstances and environment,
I am the master of my own personal destiny.
I am the captain of my vessel, Insha'Allah.

I adopted these lines, (with some additions) from a book I was given while travelling in Alaska, it was a book called, "Raja Yoga" or Yoga of the Mind. I repeat these lines almost daily upon waking up and before laying down to sleep, usually after having sat in meditation and contemplation for half an hour or so. If you ask me what is more valuable than learning about your physical body i would have to say,  learning all you can about how the mind works. And if you ask me what is more valuable than learning about how the mind works I would say learning about who you truly are, (in relation tot he Whole).. The rest of life or the act of living are simply details.

More Justifications.

I feel I have been spilling away as though I am a Rishi or Roshi or something, I am not, i am merely reflecting what goes through my mind and based upon my past experiences and my love of study in the Spiritual side of life has made me susceptible towards becoming just another parrot repeating what others have said and said it well. The question is what i have learned about who I am or what am I? According to all these ancient teachings and religions, I am this or that relative to what I believe in myself. If i am a Muslim I look at life from the perspective of one who believes in the Oneness of God, if I am Christian my faith and belief is in the Christ, The Father, If i am a Buddhst my faith will be in understanding the Buddhadharma, if I am a Hindu, well I can pick my choices as there as many one can attribute one's faith in.
I am entertaining my mind and watching and learning all the time about how my mind functions,(even when I take a crap). Perhaps i have an over imaginative mind with its creative tendencies to destroy what it creates given the chance to do so, its called, anger. The flip side of creativity is destructiveness and they both coexist in one's inner being; I like to keep an eye the fluctuations between the two positive and negative state so that the highs and the lows stay in good balance. Like in the Yin and Yang cosmic symbol's principle suggests, when there is too much fun, shit happens! When there is too much shit, fun (things) happens. I agree, it is very poor use of the Cosmic Symbol as an imagery, sounds good though!
My original intention has always been 'Self discovery' using the common term for it. I believe I have what the Buddhists would call .deep rooted karmas, those past negative actions that were significantly heave in nature, whether psychological, emotional or spiritual; I am a splintered soul. I seek to become whole, to know who I am and what is the meaning to my existence. Through the years of my semi- insane lifestyle, I made small progress towards seeing what is for what it is not. I became more and more absorbed into being an observer, a chronicler of life, one who looks in from the fringe of life; I felt like i have at one point in my life 'stepped out of my preconceived self into my present self, but still a thought created self
Is mind created self that is me typing this down or is it yet another observer watching from further behind making the move to record what transpires as the mind expresses itself, is this me? Is this who I am? When someone ask me casually , hey what's up Sam? I would mumble o myself like, just waiting to die..." It came quite  naturally out of me but not is a serious note. What i would mean in those days was I need to move on, change, Hijrah, evolve of die: I chose evolution. Sometime back in my blog I must have told the time and experience I had in Central City Colorado maybe in 1979-80. This was where i had a vivid dream about being an 'Ecclectic." I woke up and wrote down the word spelling it a close as i could to how it sounded in the my dream. Later on reading a rare, "Book of Secrets" (which was published only 87 copies in all) I discovered the meaning of Eclecticism.: I am an eclectic. I pick and chose the best in all possibilities negative or positive and boils it all down to what has it got to offer that is worth keeping.
Having lived for 21 years  of my life in the United States, I went round the bend where my thoughts and consciousness were laid bare from who i was before and what I became after.I think more like an American than a Malaysian, I have made my life a study instead of living it, I am experimenting with my life like Mr. Ghandi. I take it back, not true really, as i lived my life like an American too and that, not too many Malaysians can sing about as most went overseas to study, I was there to live life to the fullest...and Yes, I did it My way>>.
Yes, at times I do write a whole lot of nonsense, but the non sense too is a part and parcel of who I think I am. It is only in the silence in between the previous state to the next is where I am at, that is the space that paused to think what to say next, that silence is where it all originates from and the fingers jsut keeps on typing. I am not a Guru or even a wise man, but I am one who seeks to become who he truly is, what is my Buddha nature? What am I before my parents conceived of me? These are not my personal questions but the questions asked by those of the past, Great Rishis and Roshis, the Mahatmas and Saints, the sheikhs and Maulanas and is still being asked by the likes of me.
We are all ships passing in the night, seeking shelter from the storms, when we meet let us rejoice and celebrate each other's triumphs and success in having survived what life has to offer and if and when we can afford to let us return to life what we have taken from it in the form of servitude: I am Ram Dass, I am the servant of God. This is why I do art, entertain children with my art and teach a thing or two through my being an Artist. Some enjoy my stories, some my artworks and I enjoy along with them.

Peeking through the Veil.

I pre-wrote this while sitting in front of the Museum under the tent while it drizzled outside in the parking lot.

The more we try to stop our minds from excessive thinking the aggressively thoughts will manifest in our minds, perhaps because in our efforts to slow down thinking we are also creating 'Gaps' or spaces for more thoughts to rush in and fill it up. Soon we lose track of reality as it is in the here and now, we stray into unconscious delusions state of being, like sleep walking or better yet the Zombies. creating more vexations as we go along. The world becomes a miserable place when just about the whole planet is overrun by humanoid Zombies preying upon one another to sustain life.
The mind cannot be stopped but it can be silenced by gradual practice of any form of Meditation or martial Arts, Painting, Poetry, Bonzai collecting, or even Rock collecting; the mind can be slowed down to a halt by being in the space and time of the here and now; being the flower or the sunset, being the buttefly or the sparrow, being the sounds that permeates everything and the wind that sooth your worried mind. This is acceptance through 'skillfull means' and understanding of the nature of the 'Dual thinking mind."
For there to be a Peak, there has to be a valley.
For there to be sorrow there is much happiness to seek for,
For there to be darkness let there be light!
CB2.

Journeying into the unknown landscapes of the mind is like walking in the valley of death, there is no-thingness, there is only the state of being in the moment in timelessness and what lies further down the road is a matter for no concern, (Krishnamutrit's secret applies itself well here- I don't mind what happens..) It is not a matter of denial but one of admitting to an enlightening insight about who he was and living by it to become a great teacher of the human nature. But his path and so is Eckhart Tolle's contemporay philosophical thinking are no an easy path to follow as they evolved into who the were through living the experience day by day observing the mind and its mental activities.
Baba Ram Dass, (Prof. Richard Alpert) wrote a whole book on the subject of, "Be Here NOw" and it was more than a national best Seller as more Hippies lived by it like their Instant karmic Bible. Eckhart Tolle wrote his 'The Power of NOW" and got the travellers and seekers all over the world up in an uproar of something meditating upon especially now that the effects O Ram Dass's ideas have just about washed off from human consciousness just like the Hippie movement itself, Tolle's insightful discoveries is a spiritual gift to humanity; Human Collective Consciousness. Just how to spread the knowledge is our collective effort for those who see 'it' happening. In being and Artist, in being a seamstress, a baker a gardener or a computer programmer, we create, we deliver our expertise whole heartedly with only perfection in mind;: just as we would serve God. Servitude towards my fellow creatures is the most satisfying endeavor I find myself in being; every effort is my prayer to the Lord in the hope that it will ease my doubtful mind.
Being an artist I become more and more aware of how my thinking mind keeps imposing itself into my consciousness with ideas such as how others would admire my ability, or how someday it will be sold at some glamorous auction in Hong Kong and be bought by a tycoon who know shit about art. When this happens I am off the mark, i make errors and what was once a potential winner can become a mess of confused thoughts and feeling trying to express itself while engaged in mental masturbation's. Lately I am beginning to catch myself doing it more easily enough to do some twenty over sketches that would normally toke me forever or never happen as they are tedious some of them. I find sketching without any particular concern for what gives makes the creative process much more fluid and joyful. Just like the Sushi Chef must know his knives so must i understand what charcoal pencil can do when it wants to express itself.