Homo Proponit,sed Deus Disponit - Man Porposes, God Disposes.

 They say that we create our own destiny and the Good Lord makes it happen or not; Homo Proponit, sed Deus Disponit. Man propose God dispose. We are His creation and He is our Creator. We prostrate and surrender before Him and He blesses us with Grace. "The Lord Is my Shepard and i shall not want." I am but a humble servant making my way towards His Seat of Power on my hands and knees and my palms clasped before me in reverence and subjugation before His Throne. On this Christmas Day I make my pledge to uphold all the commitments I have made contained in this Blog from the beginning till today. I shall perform my duty as a Bodhisattva and do my utmost to enrich and awaken my fellow man form suffering in the best possible that i can, with what possible energy i have left at my age. I shall lead the Path of How to Live through my stories and ideas and dreams, through my Artistic abilities and through my  Zen/Yogic and Subut/Sufi practices as i was taught by my Great teachers Gurus and Roshis, my Mentors and Friends. May Allah s.w.t. Bless them all in life and the Hereafter. As it is today a very Auspicious Day in Mankind's Collective Calendar, I raise my heart and soul before the All Mighty and place them at His feet; I now am fully surrendered, I am no more.

Removing the ego from the life equation is worse than pulling out your teeth. The ego is like the shadow that is with you day in and day out and has a very strong hold on your thoughts and imaginations, your desires and cravings, you are a product of your ego managing your life. The ego is not you. The ego is a byproduct of who you truly are, it is a result of your years of growing up from an infant into an aged old man under the influence of the environment/circumstances and the people around you most of which cannot be helped but does make and impact upon how you grow up and what you become. The egotistical person in the extreme is self serving and self centered making life a matter of survival and living a battle of the fittest. The egoic tendencies of an individual makes him/her very prone to greed, hate and ignorance in dealing with others and Love and Compassion are distant and foreign virtues almost forgotten. In many experiments done it has been observed that the more charitable people are those who do not have much themselves and the rich and well to do hold on tight to their purses. An egoic mind would rather hoard and hide what they have than share it with those who could use whatever they do not have the need for anymore, their garages are always stacked with collectables collecting dust. To the ego minded, enough is never enough and no one should own more than me. This is the world we live in today.

I have just pretty much described my self, my upbringing and my take on life as i was growing up into adulthood. I have described how i was a very angry and vengeful person and had no qualms about hurting anyone especially those who had shown me love and compassion. I was self absorbed and made it an effort to make sure that I become the center of attention by hook or by crook and how many lives have i wasted in the course of my relationships! How many hopes and dreams have I shattered getting to be where I am at; I am incorrigible as one of my close friend accused me of. I could go on lamenting but it is of no good now and a waste of time writing, but i have done enough reflections, soul searching and  have dwelled over the matter deeply over the last decade of my life and find that it is all a challenge in order to uproot my egotistical tendencies once and for all. To attain spiritual maturity ego has no place in one's heart. To remove the ego from my life's equation is easier said than done; it is the Jihad as the Prophet of Allah, {Pbuh}, is said to have said. It is a spiritual battle that must be won if complete Spiritual Awakening is to happen. Are you willing to chop off your arm in order that you may be free from this worldly attachments? Would you be willing to give up the unreal for the real, the impermanent for the eternal and everlasting? 

Regrets will be buried with me when i die and beyond that who knows what retribution lay in store for one whose life had been one long series of errors and miscalculations. Whose actions stemmed out of anger and often despair. All that i have thus far recant, renounced, foreswear put behind me and I have fully surrendered unto the Lord for His evaluation and judgement. In the meantime I am fully committed to seeking forgiveness and undo what i have done in the form of servitude towards the Universe. This will be the end of my looking back and lamenting my past transgressions for 2025 will be a year i look forward towards reclaiming my true being, who I truly am without any regrets or self mortification. At the end of the day, all these too will pass. What is truly left is a legacy of emptiness like bleached bones left in the sand gradually being eroded by the wind until nothing is left but sand. This is impermanence, one of the cause of human suffering and the sooner one awaken to the realization of this illness that shapes our destiny the better prepared we can be in facing life's challenges. Letting go is the antidote to this kind of ailment and it can be achieved over time with resilience and determination.

We can live life with blind faith or we can live life as an experiment making certain that every action, every thoughts and justification are ways and means to understand what is right or wrong, what is temporal and what is eternal, what is truly you and what is mere illusion. The Lord of Creation, The Lord of Mercy and Compassion, will be our guide at every junction and corners of our journey if only we listen and call out to Him for guidance for He is our 'Shadow'; He has walked beside us thought thick and thin and even when we are blind to this Devine attribute that is our birthright and turn our shadow into a negative energy that we recoil in fear because of our ignorance; ignorance is another cause of human suffering. Ignorance is the refusal to learn the truth of the nature of our existence as most of us live merely to survive dominated by greed, hate and ignorance. To counter this habitual tendencies we have to live with Love and Compassion within and without, towards ourselves and towards others. Perhaps we do write our own destiny as we mature and come to a realization of our fate perhaps able to answer the simple questions we have been asking ourselves, who am I, why am I here, what is my role in all these? At the end of the day that which we have held above all else in our heart of hearts is the final destination and goal of our quest. How far or near we are towards a complete realization of our destiny is in His hands.