And this morning seems not like any other morning as i had a harder time slipping into my routine and even got mad at the cat while doing it - so now after taking care as best i could the minor chores, I decided to listen to Hans Zimmer's "Last Samurai" theme full blast with ear phones. A form mental distortion or shift when it all seems overwhelming; a poor substitute for meditation. Oh I know it all sounds like an intellectual crap of saying something like I am fucked and things are not getting any better ...or so it seems. A Message from Green Bay Wisconsin, Jerry Sule wants to know if I am still alive and it helps to open up this can of worms that has been festering in me from different angles and in all forms but could not fine any outlet to regurgitate. And the music roars in my head filling it up with rumblings amidst the melancholic waves of sadness that depicted the end of a culture - The Last Samurai.
I have been giving sometime focusing my mind on the study of Sri Shankcharia's works on "Atma Bodha' or Self Knowledge which I find is like a ray of light upon my groping in the dark all these years trying t make sense out of all the non-sense of my spiritual being. I feel like I have finally found the path towards my final destination of my self-liberation. However it will still be a long course of study and practice in order that I can absorb and assimilate the Advaita Vedanta teachings into my daily routine...and the complete and perfect knowledge will clear the ignorance from my mind and erase the cause of suffering. This has always been my goal from the beginning some decades ago when I first was confronted with the question of my own true nature - Who am I? Ever since I was awakened to this quest to learn the truth about myself I have had to face all kinds of conundrum such as which God should I worship or am I strong enough to take on the austerities and precepts set by some of the teachings, am I worthy of calling myself an awakened soul or an enlightened being while still trapped in this realm of Maya in this physical form while attached still to old habits and mental and spiritual weaknesses? Am I capable of recognizing the truth when it stands in my face before me and what do I expect of this when it happens, or it already happened only I have failed to awakened to it... have you ever listened to the Shakuhachi being played by a master? - it screams from the heart pure and clean, the sound.
The shakuhachi is a traditional Japanese flute generally made of bamboo and consisting of five holes. ... The shakuhachi originally entered Japan from China during China's Tang dynasty of the 6th century as a 6-holed flute. By the 10th century, the instrument had become unique to Japan.
Talk about a change of subject! I felt I was drifting into a topic that I am still grappling with and have no idea of how near or far I am from getting to the heart of the matter; I am still doubtful. I still have reservations about making a solid commitment towards accepting the truth as expounded in the teachings Advaita Vedanta of Sri Shankaracharya on the subject of Atma Bodha or self knowledge. This teachings from the ancient Vedic texts cuts through all that I have come to know about my true nature and laid it bare with a divine twist of the dictum; Tat tvam asi or That I am...something like that; I Am Brahman! It's like declaring I am God or Allah (incarnate) or that my essence is God or that which I truly am is the Divine that has manifested all that is, that was and that will ever be...I am That, I am. What seems blasphemous to most religions especially the monotheistic religions of Abraham and Moses, of Jesus and Mohammad of which I am related to in some way through conversion and later faith. I believe as it is said, this is where I take my leap of faith and make my choice, to be or not to be. Who or what is Atma- Brahman?
They have an immortal essence that lives on, even after death. Now, Brahman can be best described as the cosmic soul. It's the divine Universe, the Ultimate Reality of the cosmos. Brahman is pure Consciousness. ... So when we say, “Atman is Brahman,” we're saying that the individual soul is the same as the universal soul. Wikipedia.
It has taken me almost a lifetime to come to this state of being or consciousness in who I truly am and it really is nothing special even if I truly can assume my image of myself as such a Divine Being, like it is not that I am aiming to rule the world much less the universe and I am still having migraine headaches and angina attacks with now rapidly developing shortness of breath; I am as human as I ever can be even if I assume myself to become the Atma-Brahman is truth. It is like experiencing a Satori, or catching a glimpse of the reality of what lies beyond the veil of of my ignorance. At my age of 72 nothing really can shake the foundation of my existence except perhaps death when it occurs and this is I am preparing for as I wish that Iwill die fully conscious of the experience while is is happening...Insha'Allah, God willing. I love God in whatever form or name He/She is called and it is not out of fear for al the wrongs I have done in my life but simply because, to me there is and has to be higher Being or state of consciousness than my self and i believe that this Being holds the key to answers to all my questions and my doubts. There is no complete answers out there and no matter how much knowledge and experiences I can gather there will never be a complete and profound answer and perhaps there never really is, but the likes of the Buddha, The Christ and many great Saints and Sages have succeeded to crack the impenetrable veil of ignorance to expose what lies beyond and it would be an insult to them for me to accept any less of an answer for myself. I would rather end up in hell for claiming my divinity in nature than for my transgressions while stuck being a slave to my ignorance. If truth be told, I would not choose heaven or hell when I die, but I would rather return to That which is my Original Nature.
"I want to be free to bring my love to everyone. And I think you should feel the same way. I think you should be open to all teachers and all teachings and listen with your heart." ...Ram Dass. #ramdass,#buddha,#Christ, #allah, #atmabrahman, #atmabodha, #advaitavedanta #hanszimmer, #tattvamasi, #satori
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