Last of the Mohicans

Listening to Mooji's Open Satsang in Rishikesh, India, while I start untangle the tangles of my mind as has always been been my ongoing routine daily. My daughter is sewing a dress for her customer, it's a yellow dress and looks pretty already. The Satsang is called "Incubate in the Supreme," I wonder who keeps coming up with these titles for Mooji's Satsang, if it is Mooji himself; they can be catchy. The combination of eastern and Western instrumental music opened the Satsang with a beautiful tune.
Namaste! Mooji!  
First question the relationship between karma, freedom and the self, how do we keep form loosing the freedom gained in the moment. It is a question primarily about karma and the cessation of karma and the state being liberated from this 'hamster wheel' we call life. Time for me to slip away from the satsang before i get sucked into not doing my own thing or end up merely counting someone else's sheep with none to show for myself, for who i truly am; so switch to the theme song for the Last of the Mohicans, my all time background music. "Unto yourself depend O'Ananda, for none can deliver you from Sangsara, but you!" The Buddha uttered this to his cousin just before he left this realm of existence, or so it is said. Yes we need the boat and the paddle to steer across the river but these are just tools and means of getting there, to get there one has to act out of one's own volition, one's own free will. 
The fasting Month of Ramadan is around the corner and as always I have my trepidations about being able to fulfill the whole month of  abstinence from food and various other desires. I have no good excuse for this other than admitting to myself that I have a weak constitution when it comes to spiritual discipline especially when it is mandatory. I find myself balking and regressing  in rebellious if not lackadaisical disregard for being told what to do; or simply put i become weak and lack perseverance. I am far from being proud about this and over the years have been trying to do my best to observe and obey, (just like everyone else). However, what is the use of having spent years of searching and seeking for answers for I truly am if at th end of the day I simply give in to being just like everyone else;a heard of cattle headed for the slaughter house.
Is life. 
Call it pride, call it ego, call it self deception or call it what you may, Having tasted life and as much as it can offer for the past 68 years or so, I have a tough time accepting lock, stock and barrel of what religions and philosophy has to offer, I will accept the truth that has kept me alive ; not the lure of heaven nor the threat of hell, but the simple truth like breathing in and out a breath at a time. I accept the truth that I am the master of my own destiny and I set the course of my existence. I answer to no man nor to any believe or dogma other than what my heart perceives to be the truth. I believe in the simple laws of Karma and karmic consequences, that as I sow, so shall i reap. I believe in the generating of good merits as it will benefit sentient beings as a whole and not just myself. I believe my existence on this planet has got a higher meaning than to just occupy space and time or live out my life in ignominy making no self sacrifice towards the well being of others if not the planet itself. I truly believe in the One Who created me and to whom I shall return when my journey is done; in me is His Presence.