I am Who I am...

To align oneself back into the groove of being in the here and now, the state of presence, to be in the full state of consciousness, takes a little doing. The distractions from within and without, from thoughts of what is to become and what was, from noises and conversations around you makes it a challenge to pull back from the external realm as well as the inner and become at one with what is. This is more so if one has allowed for time to gain upon one's practice through neglect and lack of placing oneself in the present moment. There really is no absolute escape from this flip flopping of the mind and the state of being and it takes much greater effort to become centered in the true state of inner being in oneself.
What happens when the mind rules is that one is inundated by excessive thoughts and ideas that are more often than not are of no value to one's well being. More often what one has set to accomplish becomes side tracked and there develops more obstructions and obstacles in one path rather than a smooth flow of one's energy and effort. The mind has the tendency to exaggerate and manipulate events and circumstances beyond what really is. Everything and every episode past ,present or future becomes a cancer case and demands one's immediate attention thus crowding one's judgement and ability to perform accordingly. A whole lot of one's energy is dissipated through too much thoughts and worries over matters that are of no interest or benefit and often toxic and negative in nature, to the present and this seriously sometimes affect any action needed to be taken in the present moment.  
In making this entry for today I am consciously trying to draw in my attention from the conversations floating around me in the office which is mostly about food and illnesses, good food and bad illnesses. So i tune in to You Tube and listen to the theme from "The Last of the Mohicans", loud enough to drown out the talks and the thoughts floating around in my head. The repetitious tune with its almost dramatic drum beats keeps my heart beating to the rhythm and my mind somewhat free from its own wanderings. 
I am at the present more or less preoccupied with my upcoming two man exhibition at the University Gallery which will begin on the 1st. of March. Making it happen is a challenge what with the bickering and animosity going on between the two groups of the Museum Staff to the point of not even acknowledging one another.
This is what i see as management at its worse for an institution such as the University Sains Malaysia. But, it is not my personal problem although it is sad to see my friends of over ten years split into two factions doing the same job.
A few individuals in my life today inspires me to continue on doing what i do and being who I am. One such person is Dr.Chong Hon Yew, President of the Astronomical Society of Penang. Dr. Chong whom i have known for as long as i have been at the MGTF has through his diligence and dedication towards his course of Astronomy is a constant reminder of what it is to be true to one's passion and serve the community with it. Mr. Lee Khai, Chairman of the Penang State  Art Gallery is another such a person who although being a lawyer by profession has been a patron for the Fine Art in Penang for as long as we have been friends. His patience and kindness towards artists regardless of race or religion is source of inspiration for me not to give up my own quests. Then there is my close friend Mr. Huat or Ah Huat as i call him, who is an automobile air conditioning sifu in his own right. We have been friends for over ten years now and knowing him and how he works has provide me with a greater incentive to excel in my own field, whatever it is. last but not least in my good friend, a retired Major who presently spearheads the SRI LOVELY Organic farm in the Kampung of Lintang, in the foothills of Belantik, Sik, in Kedah. Rather be called a Captain, Major Zakaria Amantasha is my Malay Hero. His achievements in life is what success is measured by. 
I am blessed today to have these individuals in my life as beacons and guides whereby I measure my progress. Knowing that these individuals stands behind me as an example I feel humbled to proceed as best i can despite my limited resources. Through my Art and my Blogging I share with the world all that I am for better or worse, for strength or weaknesses, I am who I am.