Making Sense out of Non-sense.-1

How much of truth should be told? In my life there is so much truth held within and so much of negative in nature, truth that are some too painful if not shameful in nature that i even feel too disgusted to tell even if my life depended on it. The truth that matters i find are those that help to promote peace and loving kindness among those of your loved ones and if not Humanity itself. This is the truth that i spire to atone for all my wrong doings and transgressions toward my fellow man and women, those who have had some form of relationship with me in the course of my life till now. So, how much or truth can be shared that would not further hurt others' feelings or betray their trust and confidences in me.
I must admit that I have evolved somewhat to become a writer of sorts through keeping an ongoing Blog like this; I learned thus far so much of who I am and yet i know I have still yet to share the whole truth, nothing but. It is not that I do not believe in Fate or destiny and it is not that I hold no faith in The All Mighty and His Grace and Blessings that i have been showered with in the past and the present as i am sure in the future too; I believe in the fact that I am in this world to share my own life's experiences with whoever out there reading this lengthy blog. I share my life with humanity if not my children and relatives and friends and with that i feel a sense of heavy responsibility to be frank and honest as to what i write. 
In the Buddhist tradition, this is my an effort to fulfill my Bodhisatva Vows, vows that i took while being a Practicing Student at the Green Dragon Zen Center, at Green Gulch Farm in Marin County California. The First Vow is; Beings are numberless, I Vow to awaken with them. Vows are not to be taken lightly especially in Buddhist practice. What does it means to "...awaken with them?" To answer this i had studied the teachings of the World and Time Honored One, I held at Bay my self destructive nature through Right Understanding of the First of the Buddha's Eighth Fold Path; Right Understanding. I must admit I really have no idea as to what and why I am the way I am or why I am trying so hard to justify myself foe my existence, but i know that my ego needs to be reined in from indulging it its self destructive nature and i was Born a Buddhist and raised as one for twelve years of my childhood life. I studied under a few of the most revered monks at the Mahindrama Buddhist temple in Penang. The temple grounds was my playground on weekends in the early early fifties till i was readopted into my immediate family; I was raised as an adopted child by my then, Buddhist uncle.
Truth be told, I used to sit at the feet of elderly Monks from Sri Lanka, among the first few to take charge of the temple from its beginning. My grand father was the Artist who painted most of the murals on the temple walls. My grand Uncle was the original temple grounds keeper and remained so till the day he died.

"Mahindarama consist of two Pali words namely Arahant Mahinda, the name of a famous Missionary Buddhist monk who was also one of King Asoka's sons, assigned by the father himself to introduce the Buddha-dhamma to the Island of Tambapanni ( Modern Sri Lanka ) some 2000 years ago.
The second word, Arama basically means a holy place, a shrine, a temple (Vihara) or a place of refuge. Therefore Mahindarama, is a place where the people of the beautiful Island of Penang (Pearl of the Orient) go for their refuge to the Triple Gems (the Buddha, His teaching - the Dhamma and the Holy Order - the Sangha).."

I was attending the Francis Light Primary School in those days and my along with my twin brother in the earlier years, he left for the East Coast with the rest of my family. Although twins, one was raised a Muslim the other a Buddhist. Our religious path became a source of dissension between us for the rest of our lives...truth be told. I sincerely hope that this will be the last time I ever mention this episode in my life as it is still as painful as it was when shit happened all in the name of what faith i hold in this life or what I should become when I grow up. The rest is his-story!
I have touched the tip of the iceberg as to what belies the Truth of who I am and why i have endeavored to understand who I am and why I am the way I am is ...  making sense out of Non-sense.