21st. June is Yoga Day.-.-Reflections of Sat Guru's talk.at the UN.

Work on your Perception and Intelligence to be successful.

You create what you perceive, create beauty.

Transform you self and you transform the World.

You are half of what you are, the other half is living out there.

Transcending the limitation of your physical nature is Yoga.

Look to how to make a difference than how to make a profit.

if you must use the body parts as a difference, )In gender) at least use the brain.

Authority cannot be the truth, truth can be the authority .

*if you call Yoga an Indian thing, then you can call gravity a European thing.

Penang- Another lost paradise.

Faith and death.

Bottom line is, until I have filtered out al that is irrelevant, all that is not conducive towards getting to know my true, unborn Buddha nature, that which is the ground from which i call myself "I', there will always be doubts as my mind is incapable of recognizing the true from the false, the real from the ephemeral the permanent form the temporary. The mind if fickle in many ways and will fli flop from one stance to another in the blink of an eye, it is like an uncontrollable tool that sometimes works while most of the times will take its own flight of fancies depending upon the external impetus and influences for the mental images is fed through the five senses and it is the heart that filters what is pure and unadulterated thoughts coming from the external stimuli. For this to happen the heart or one might call the soul, will have to be present at all times and for this to happen it has to be in constant state of mindfulness.
It is a sheer waste of one's humanity to exist without at the very least recognized that which is doing the thinking and that which knows that the thoughts are not the the thinker, there is no thinker, only thoughts. When this is not fully recognized then the thinker and the thoughts are mistaken to be one and the same thus we have right and wrong, good and bad as thoughts are manifested in duality of opposites, in comparison as int his compared to that, or what if this and not that and so forth. What separates man from the rest of sentient beings is that man is capable of seeing the realities beyond what is projected into the external, man is endowed with the ability to choose for better or worse if he so chooses to practice his God given right.
Being human also entails all the frailties of being easily influenced by that which appears more pleasurable than that which seem not so. We are easily attracted to the fantasies of life rather than see life through a more deeper vision of what is 'Being human'. Our inescapable weakness is laziness in making the effort of confronting our what indeed is our true nature. We leave it up to the philosophers and soothsayers, the Gurus and the so called enlightened minds while we are too busy seeking fame and fortune to justify our existence. By the time we arrive at the end of our allotted time of our physical existence we find it too late to even dwell on the subject of spirituality, like what happens after death. Then as our body and mind starts to weaken from age, we try to make some sense of why we were alive in the first place and we find ourselves regretting most of what had transpired throughout our wasted life chasing after material gains.
Here, for a true Muslim, it is well laid out for the believer  of who or what he is in this life after years of worshiping the same One True God, reminded himself five times a day or who he is in the eyes of his Maker and professing his gratefulness for his very existence and being led through the straight path and so forth. The devoted Muslim has in essence been preparing himself for the eventual journey towards his Lord in the after life while his mind has been ingrained with his faith in his Maker. death is a welcome to a Muslim for he has spent his lifetime seeking reunion with his Lord with undying faith having observed all precepts laid out for him through the Holy Book and the words of the Prophet (Pbuh). The Quran becomes his spiritual map while the Ways and teachings of the Prophet of Allah becomes his guide posts and manners in which he overcomes all trials and tribulations in this physical realm. 
I am not advocating the fact that Muslims has the realm of the after life cornered, I am just, in my limited view making an observation of how Islam has been in its won systematic ways, paved the path towards facing the eventual moments of death and what to expect next. By imposing strict mandates on the observations of its precepts, Islam has inculcated all the signs and warnings of pitfalls that man will be faced with in this life and the hereafter. With threats and promises, with persuasions and guidance, the religion of Islam has been aligning man towards better ability to cope with the moments of death and what lies beyond the grave with a spiritual blueprint based upon thousands of years of prophetic revelations. For those who have faith in its teachings, Islam has perfected the method of how to face the wayward human mind in the hour of its demise through Faith in Allah All Mighty; The One.

 And he (i.e. man) presents for Us an example (i.e. attempting to establish the finality of death) and forgets his [own] creation. He says, “Who will give life to bones while they are disintegrated?” Say, “He will give them life who produced them the first time; and He is, of all creation, Knowing.” [It is] He who made for you from the green tree, fire, and then from it you ignite. Is not He who created the heavens and the earth Able to create the likes of them? Yes, [it is so]; and He is the Knowing Creator.  (Quran, 36:78-81)
"Life After Death"...World Assembly of Muslim Youth.  
    

The great Mystery.

After a lapse of a few days I am now back to answer the nagging question about my faith, (in Islam). It happened very early in the morning of the day i wrote my last entry on the subject and it hapened while I was sitting on my bed unable to sleep and deciede to meditate instead. It was a simple matter of truth, nothing big but the answer to my nagging question is that, it isa not aht i have no or lost my faith in the religion or even God, but it is just that i have lost faith in the institution of the religion. The doubts I have been feeling are not from my inner being of a Muslim but my outer being of having complains about the religion itself being manipulated to serve those who consider themselves as Imams, ustaz, gurus and such. I have been making the mistake of letting the external patterns of religious practices influence my true faith in Islam. What I have been doing is making the mistake of taking the container for the content; Islam or the believe in any God or deity in one's life is personal.
I have come a very long way into making the realization of what i believe in and what i accept as my faith has nothing to do with anyone else out there beyond my own consciousness no matter how true or sweet the deals offered may be. Truth for me can never come from without, it cannot be processed or manufactured, thought of or created by anyone, Truth be told is simply Truth as each and every individual perceives it to be. Truth is not something one can read about or come to a conclusion from listening to others. 
"There are two mistakes one can make on the path to Truth, not going all the way and not taking the first step towards it."..The Buddha. The Buddha's entire journey can be sum up as to seek the Truth; about life, death and rebirth and the end of it or the cessation of suffering from it. I am a mortal man struggling my way towards discovering for myself this significant aspect of my existence and i have studied, practiced, prayed and worshiped in order that i may discover what is the truth in all these faiths. I find that there is really nothing to discover more than what one has already found in essence deep within one's heart and have held it to be the truth. As  I grow older and after accumulating so much along the way, I have made almost a complete circle of acknowledging that there is only One and the One is the true Being in existence, I am just speck of entity or atom manifesting the One; call it what you may. When i cease to be in this physical form i return to the One.
"Innalillahi wa'innalillahi Ra'jiun." From Him I originated and to Him do I return. IN Islam refers Him to Allah, the Christians calls Him God, the Scientists perhaps refers to Him as the Unified Whole...The Universe...The native Americans calls Him Waka Tanka or the Great Mystery...what do you see Him as?

"Everything we hear is an opinion not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth..." Marcus Aurellius 

The Perplexing subject of faith.

It is yet another Friday at the front line in the mosque facing the pulpit and receiving the bombardment from the Imam. Everything said from the Imam's mouth felt like a direct affront to my personal being as a non-practicing Muslim, one who does not fulfill the complete requirement at least like praying five times a day and so forth. The main issue talked about was 'Tawakal' or faith as i assume it to be and I am far from not having any doubts in my heart when it comes to having faith especially when i get hit left and right by all kinds of trials and tribulations affecting my mind and spirit. Of late it seems to get worse as i watch around me all the suffering that is manifesting in all kinds of forms and affecting the poor and the down trodden; it seems just not correct and unfair. There must be a caring God somewhere who would not let this planet go to waste as it is headed for.
Yes, i have tried my damnedest to right myself in order that what is around is not futile as it seems to be viewed from a more quieter mind or so they say, but it seems like the more deeply i look within the worse it get without. Detachment from what is the Dharma realm or the realm of the phenomena is something that Buddhism preaches but being detached seems to get more and more of a challenge as one age or so it seems. The question being, what am I leaving behind when it is my time to call it a day? What will the next generation inherit from the likes of my generation? The Imam was adamant on pointing out that most of us are neglecting to perform our obligations and are destined for the realm of hell in the hereafter and especially the younger generation, who have gone lost on their motorcycles riding themselves to death while others were looking forward to Celina Gomez coming to town  and not remembering God.
Tawakkul (Arabic: تَوَكُّل‎‎) in the Arabic language, is the word for the Islamic concept of reliance on God or "trusting in God's plan".^[1] It is seen as "perfect trust in God and reliance on Him alone."^[2] It can also be referred to as God-consciousness.^[2] In fact, the Qur'an speaks of the fact that success is only achieved when trust is in God and the believer is steadfast and obeys God's commands.^[3]
It has been said that there are three ranks of tawakkul: the trust of the believers, the trust of the select, and the trust of the select of the select.^[8]Each of these ranks are achieved through active reformation of the mind and self.^[9] The truth of the believers is simply living one day at a time and not worrying what tomorrow will bring you; simply trusting in what God has planned.^[8] The trust of the select is trusting God with no motives or desires. It is casting aside all wants.^[8] And finally the trust of the select of the select is giving yourself over to God completely so that His desires become yours.^[8] In other words, "trust in God is to be satisfied with and rely on God Most High."^[7] It is said that because God created everything and therefore everything belongs to him, it is selfish to want anything other than what God wants or not want something God gives to you.^{[6] Wikepedia.}

This Law [Dharma] is inexpressible,
It is beyond the realm of terms;
Among all the other living beings
None can apprehend it
Except the bodhisattvas
Who are firm in the power of faith.^{[19]-- Faith in Buddhism -Wikpedia.}

What is faith with wisdom and understanding, it is blind faith and Islam is not a religion of blind faith

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Living in Limbo.

I have been working on an acrylic painting on a three feet by three feet of the Bodhisatva Kuan Yin and i felt great for a while until my son Karim Turned up at the house to tell me that he needed to go the Clinic for having a very high fever. Then my effort at painting started to decline and i lost the touch. After spending at painting all night long i slept in late and woke up to a call from a debt collector threatening me with all the worse case scenarios of a litigation that would end up if found guilty, I might have to pay over 12000 in court fees and such including being black listed and even my two children's future would be in financial jeopardy. 
I made a business loan sometime in 2001-2 of ten thousand RM and had paid back since slightly more than half until my life took a bad turn with the untimely departure of my wife since 2004 when she had to be laid off for her illness and she later passed away in 2008 in Illinois, USA. I had to put my two children all through their high school years and later into the university and college while renting a place to stay and so forth, barely making ends meet. Till this day i hardly have any money to my name as i still am needed by my two children every now and then to help them out until they are totally on their own. I told all this to the Tekun', ( the Governemnt business loan) officer at their office here in Penang and she was nice enough to have me agree to pay one hundred a month to save my skin. 
No, I have not much to share of life that is extra ordinary of late, I only am going through what most of my countrymen are going through with the very bad economic state the country is in. I am being threatened by an agency of a government that owes fifty odd billion RM to foreign debt. 
Most of my friends have expressed the pressure that they are being faced with in their lives trying to run businesses and put their children through school, while the government is screaming that all is well. Malaysia is slowly becoming worse than a third world country sad to say and it is affecting the quality of life among the middle income earners while tossing the poor to the bins. Yes we are not starving or facing death on the streets as yet like in many other nations, but we are definitely on the way if things do not change for the better soon. We are at present as the former Prime Minister Tun Mahathir said sitting on a time bomb and now not only are we sitting on a political time bomb but we are also sitting on an economic melt down.
There will days when the world 'out there' seem more of a threat than usual and everything we see or do seem to be reflective of the negative rather than happening in the positive way as we expected. Old debts do catch up with us one way or another regardless of our financial status and they will always be haunting us till they are paid up in full. I do not have too many debts in my life except that my late wife's income tax status says that she owes the government some 38000RM to date since 2004, the time she was laid off from work as a lecturer at a college in Terengganu. I keep getting these reminders every now and then and am waiting for the income tax office to take my late wife to court or come after me instead. We need pressures in life but sometimes it gets too much when you are dealing with far away strangers and computer printed information. Just have to dance with it and not let it spoil your day even if you are having a bad one already.

Lightness of being.

Like the polarities of each atomic particle oscillating and smashing against one another in space so is our very own  existence from the day we were conceived in the womb upon the collision and integration of two atomic particles causing a fusion that releases a new from and energy into outer space; a new star is born. Throughout our lives we we exist either with an enlightened mind or blindly like a flotsam of wasted energy fulfilling our so called destiny while the the Universe expands and contracts accordingly. It is said in practically in every religious and spiritual belief that, we are the children of Light. We originate from Light and that our source is Light. However most humans have chosen willingly or otherwise to exist in the shadows of darkness or ignorance feeding upon the waste matter that lights generates rather than feed feeding upon light itself. It is a paradox that one cannot exist without the other, however the maintaining of of a good balance if crucial just as the balance that is equated in the atomic particles, both positive and negative are of equal values. 
The Ancients and perhaps modern philosophers and scientists too, would tell us that we exist for a purpose and one may call it a 'Higher Purpose'. What this higher purpose serves is entirely up to our own personal understanding of who or what we truly are in the scheme of things Those of us who are able to slow down our mental fluctuations would be among those that see into this phenomena of Collective consciousness at work while others whose mental state is n constant hectic fluctuations will be veiled from seeing into the nature of our 'Cosmic Existence.;' the reason why we are here to serve a higher consciousness in negative or positive form. 
Hence it is imperative that we generate light, the positive nature of our state of being in order that the Universe may continue on to expand and not the reverse. The Universe is a conscious living and breathing entity in itself as scientists are beginning to accept as they dig deeper into outer as well as inner space and we're all its creatures that is presently breathing in and out its gasses and digesting all its matter in one form or another and defecating it after converting it into other forms and structures are part and parcel to all that is; Creation. The danger man faces today is the fact that he is drifting more and more towards the excessive negative impulses, all for the sake of his personal or tribal survival alone. We have become pretty much a self serving creature, "Got to take care of Number One," 'My way is the only Way," "This land is mine." and all the rest of self serving proclamations the by product of ignorance of who we truly are, that like atoms in space our existence is not permanent. We exist on borrowed time and space and that upon cessation of our allotted time we give up our light within whether it be bright as a shooting star or darkened by the dross of our existing in ignorance having lived our lives as a 'bottom feeder' or at the lowest rank of the food chain, in which case we are returned to be recycled where the light within us is withdrawn through the process of melting away the layers of accumulations we have collected throughout our lives. In the religious sense we have hell fire to do the job of burning away the layers of dark stains we have accumulated throughout our lives in ignorance; most of us. For those who have made the effort to work towards the light of pure understanding, perhaps our lightness of being will raise us to heaven; towards the heavens.









 

The Theory of Light and Darkness.

If there be no Peace within, how can there be peace without? If there be no Compassion within, how can one show genuine compassion without? If there is no Love within, how can Love manifest itself without? This the Ancient as well as the modern day philosophers and wise men have been pondering and the more iit is pndered the closer we get tot he answer that we are all merely mirrors of the Universe mirroring itself or God if one so inclined to look at it with the religious eye, God is looking at His own Creation through the eyes of man. Listening to Hans Zimmer through the ears of man, touching the keyboard through the fingertips of man.
The Universal Principle manifest itself through the actions of Man and after eons of collective thoughts, the mind has crystallized into one epic manifestation of creative energy that  is now generating itself into another force like that of the Sun and it will one day explode or implode depending upon it frequency of vibrations as the positive vs the negative impulses of the human mental tendencies will eventually dominate one over the other. If the positive out weighs the forces of the the dark energy matter, then we may have Super Nova and the opposite will create the Black hole of anti matter. The laws of the Universe culminates upon the Collective Consciousness of the living beings that inhabit its inner dimensions while creating the material of its outer dimension. Scientists as well as Spiritualists from the Ancients to the Modern have been expounding this fact or feeling that we are the co-creators of the Universe we exist in not just us humans but the entire planetary array of sentient beings.
From the call of the bull frogs in the pond outside to the call of the hearts of the saints in their solitary confinements, he creative as well as the destructive forces of nature manifest itself and evolves into forms that eventually becomes one atomic energy oscillating in space among other energized thought formations. Our planet itself is but one such atomic particle in space and time and it can appear and disappear just like any other such atoms and molecules and it all begins deep within our inner subconscious minds where the source of energy lies. that which is the light that ignites to form  
the source of light of being; the Universe. 

I am a Born again Muslim.

The third day today of Eid Mubarak and time to come to a conclusion on the subject of Islam in my life. It has been a long struggle and a love hate relationship that I have had with my Lord, I have cursed and swore at Him in my younger head strong days and athas always been some point even pointed my middle finger up toI can only say thatwards the sky for one reason or another. I given up my religious faith in Him totally while living in the US and later Japan and now have returned to the fold after a whole lot of soul searching. Ironically, although being a sinner most of my life, my love hate relationship with Him has kept me more in touch with him than if I had been a a confirmed Muslim all my life; like a son who deserted his father but had held a remorse in his heart with every challenge thrown at him of the question of Faith.
Today although I may not yet be able to claim absolute right of being a born again Muslim, I strongly feel that for me Allah had always been there in times of my needing Him. On many instances i had been been delivered from harm by 'Forces' unknown and i can only say Alhamdullilah hiRabil Alamin. I had written a few of these instances in my Blog entries in the past and all I can say today is that I never really abandoned my Lord and neither has He abandoned me, we were just temporarily estranged. As i slowly started to rediscover my faith in my Lord I feel like I am walking on a more solid ground in my spiritual practice and i can speak freely from where i stand from this 'Dharma Position'.
Buddhism has been a step ladder for my climbing out of my quagmire of a deluded existence, but the Buddha's way only has led me to back to the doorsteps of Islamic faith and i say again that it is not out of fear of hell or the yearn to be in Heaven but it is my soul's realization in my true 'Buddha's nature': my covenant with The Lord of Creation. May i leave this round of existence as a Muslim in faith.
May all Muslims be awakened to the true teachings of the Prophet of Allah and find Peace and Tranquility within themselves. Happy Eid Mubarak to one and all wherever you may be. May Allah's blessings be upon you.

PARIS: In a major development that should silence critics of Islam who have been blaming it for terrorism, UNESCO has declared that Islam is the most peaceful religion of the world.

The United Nations body released a statement earlier today that revealed that UNESCO had partnered with International Peace Foundation six months back to study all religions of the world and find out which was most peaceful amongst all.

The certificate and announcement from UNESCO has been welcomed by world leaders and religious leaders across the world. Dalai Lama is reported to have asked other religions to learn from Islam and try to be as nonviolent and compassionate as the religion of peace.

Junta ka Reporter.  

    

Rambbling on about my Faith.

Why the need to have faith in a higher order in my life? I have been asking this of myself for as long as i can remember and most of my life has been spent digging deeper and deeper into the question of Faith so much so that at one time i wrote in one of  my sketch books, " I have faith in so much faith in others that i stop having faith in myself." That was when I started asking me, who am I? What is this that is calling itself 'I'? Through the years of my spiritual journey I have been making relentless effort into getting to know this entity that identifies itself as'I', that from which all my communications stems from. At the risk of repeating like a parrot of what contemporary Gurus such as Mooji or Sad Guru Dev, whose talks has become my regular pursuit, I can safely say that I have come upon my own conclusion as to who or what I am and they merely confirm my realizations although still yet to be perfected; I am far from a fully awakened being and i have my days just like every one else.
Most of my young adult life was spent in feeding my selfish egoistic needs and i  can safely say that i had sometimes gone way over board in letting my self centered ego has its ways especially while living in the United States. My Bohemian life style knew no bounds; i was, as one of my closest friends said, incorrigible. I felt my head spun around when I fell very sick while living in Corte Madeira, Marin County California; I thought I was having a serious heart attack. I have written this somewhere in my Blog entries. It was from this moment on that I became seriously awakened to discover who I am and what my life was all about beyond money, women, booze and drugs. I entered the life of a Zen Buddhist practice at Green Gulch, Green Dragon Zen Center. It was here that I seriously began my spiritual journey to find out more about what life has in store for or closer yet why I was born in the first place.
I took my practice very seriously often having conflicts within for having been converted to Islam in my teen years which by right prohibits me from taking another faith as my spiritual belief. I justified myself from this by accepting the fact God would have wanted me to find out for myself rather than follow blindly what my mother or elder brother had to offer me as who I am; a Muslim. I shelved Islam for a span of time and focused on other religions and philosophies seeking better understanding, intellectually as well as spiritually the truth to this question.
I did not find solace in reading the Qur'an, well its translation as i have no Arabic background. I found the Qur'an to be harsh in propagating punishments more so than about Love and Compassion and the stories in it were mostly about the lives of Prophets who for the most full of flaws in their own lives. This was when i was an angry young man who blamed the religion for my misgivings growing up among my Muslim brothers and sisters; I should have remained a Buddhist instead. The Lord as the saying goes works in mysterious ways, and today I find my way back into the religion of my grandmother through my own volition and understanding and never out of fear of being stoned by the so called believers. I still have my doubts in Muslims however, I am far from convince of their true faith in the teachings as most i experience are more hypocrites than the non-Muslims I have come to know. As far as the Muslims goes Islam has become one of the most corrupted and weak religion that is evident by what is happening to Muslim countries all over the world.
No time in her history has Islam been brought down to its lowest state of affairs and more Muslims suffering at the hands or their own fellow man. Greed, Hate and Ignorance has become prevalent and the teachings of the prophet of Allah has become a mockery. Muslim leaders have become puppets to Western Rule while the Ummah takes pride in empty words recited in flowery  sing song form the Holy Book but the action among most Muslims does not reflect the understanding of the text. Sectarian conflict alone is enough to make Islam a diseased Religion while cultural and tribal ignorance has made a mockery out of the faith. But i have embraced the religion with all determination that it will all one day be brought to fruition when the All Mighty decides to take charge before it all comes to pieces beyond repair. Will there ever be a Muslim leader in the near future bold and wise enough to take the bull by the horns and direct the fate of mankind towards Peace and Harmony? Thus far, not a soul in sight. 
Peace is Islam today is only found in the greeting of one Muslim to another, Asalamuallaikum! Peace be unto you. Muslims should add to this with the saying 'and me'. Muslims today i find are the most uof on-peacefull  people on earth. They assume and believe they are but most are not, most are at war within themselves. They are not at peace within and if one doubt this say something negative about the religion and you will find you have a war on your hand. Muslims have little tolerance when it comes to the religion being criticized or ridiculed, it becomes personal and demands retribution almost instantly and by this act alone most Muslims believe they are fighting for God. Muslims lack the patience and perseverance in the face of confrontation simply because within themselves they lack the true substance of peace. Jesus is said to have said that if they slap you on your right cheek offer them your left, and Jesus was considered a Muslim Prophet in Islam. What does he meant?
When there is peace in every Muslim heart as the Qur'an has instructed Islam will not be a 'Terrorist Religion'. When each and every Muslim understands the nature of 'Patience' in his mind, there will be peace in the Muslim world, if there is Peace within, only then can there be Peace without. This peace within will only come through inner reflections of one self and not from without through fiery sermons from the pulpit in mosques or prating five times a day to fulfill an obligation to God; each and every Muslim has to realize peace within himself. Hence each and every Muslim must look within and come to his or her own conclusion as to who or what he or she is in the eyes of his Maker. He who knows himself, knows his Maker quoted the Prophet or Allah. To call oneself a true Muslim takes more than just being able to perform all the obligations set down by the Book but it is also to come to realize one's true nature that is paramount in Islam. Islam is found within each and every man for Allah resides within not out there somewhere.  
When I sit I am praying with every breath I take in and out the Name of Allah, just as the Hindu call out to Lord Shiva or the Buddhist to Buddha and the Christians to God. This is my expression of faith for my Lord, lest my ego thinks otherwise. 





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My Conclusion of what my Faith is.

On this new day of the Islamic calendar I wish to take the opportunity to give my thanks to the Lord of the Universe for having seen me through yet another year which was filled with many challenges, trials and tribulations. I am grateful for having made it with my health still intact although some parts of me are beginning to function less than they normally would, like my eyes are beginning to be a little bit blurry and my energy overall is somewhat less than it used to be, these are to be expected for a man who is approaching the seventies. At least mentally I am still able to keep up with this Blogging with each Blog entry I  am able to let go of my feelings and make amendments to my errors and misgivings. 
Alhamdullilah Hirabil Alamin! My gratitude to Him, Lord of the Universe! May he continue to lead me along the straight and narrow path towards His Seat or Arash and may He bless me with His Wisdom and Kindness, May He protect me and my family and make of them great Muslims in the eyes of My Lord. I have lived long enough to be said to have been given a bonus of longevity as compared to many of my friends and loved ones and for this I am grateful. I have made many good friends along the way and some are closer to me than my own siblings, and along the way I have also offended some and for these I can only ask for their forgiveness. I will always love Humanity no matter what shape color or form they may come in and honor each and every man his or her being just as i would mine. I will continue on to foster peace and understanding among all my fellow human beings and share my understanding of life through my Blogging.
Through my religious studies of various other faith and spiritual practices I have come to fully accept Islam as my Way of Life and will make every effort to fulfill all its obligations to the best of my ability without any more excuses or justifications. I am fortunate to have been given the chance to practice the faith living among devote Muslims of relatives and friends here in Malaysia. They have been my guides and i have been their reluctant student. All along i have come to realize too that not many have forced me towards doing what i did not want to and as such i now know that it has always been up to me to be or not to be. I have come to embrace Islam like a man who enters the Mosque through the back door. I have yet to go a long way to be able to call myself a good Muslim, but i have arrived at the point of no return whereby there will be no other faith I would adhere to but only the religion of Islam as revealed unto the Prophet of Allah. 
I do not  and will not claim Islam to be the only true religion, better or  worse than any other faith, but to me there no God, Only Allah and that Mohammad is His messenger. The 'Kitab' AlQur'an was first revealed during the Month of Ramadan and it is the last of the of the Holy Books revealed to the last of the Prophets of Allah; it is a conclusive revelation that wraps up the religion of Abraham and his two sons Ismail and Isaac. From Isaac sprung the Judeo-Christian faith while through Ismail religion of Islam. All Jews, Christians and Muslims are brothers in faith and is no doubt in my mind, except those who chose to write their own version of the religions for their own self serving benefit. As for the religions of Hinduism, Buddhism, Taoism and the various other religions in the East, I believe they too are part and parcel of the 'Bigger Picture' of Mankind's Faith and spiritual practices as they precedes the Judeo-Christian -Islamic faith. For those who have the open heart and minds to discover their own true nature all they have to do is 'Read' or 'Iqrar!' as the first word in the Holy Qur'an had declared. There is no wrong or right religion, there is only Right Way to living life for the benefit of the Whole of Mankind. The Unity of Man is the only thing that stands between us and the total Chaos and anarchy facing us in the near future; Islam to me is a religion of Unity.      



  

Pictures of Nature in motion.

My first sunset upon arrival at the farm was awesome,

Sunset has always been my favorite subject to capture.

I try to share the banality of life in my pictures to evoke the feeling of groundedness.

Framing the sunset is a very significant aspect of my picture.

Selamat Hari Raya - Eid Mubarak!

It's Aidil Fitri or as the Malays calls it Hari Raya Puasa, Eid Mubarak in its original language. Naturally i did pretty bad this year too and worse i almost caused a heart attack to my daughter when I did not return after three days of disappearing. Four days ago I decided to take a retreat from the scene that I was in which was becoming more sour by the day. Fasting was not doing it for me and i struggled against every little thing in my life...some calls it pressure. Muslim Malays calls it 'Dugaaan!' Ramadan, or the Testing of the Holy Month of Ramadan. 
I simply admit that i do not have what it takes to call myself a disciplined Muslim man, I am man of weak substance, I am not a man of strong will power and perseverance, I broke my fast for a few days and i lied, and i hide. I feel shame no doubt and one of the reasons I had to retreat was because I had to find my very quiet space and bring myself to take charge of the situations i am in. It is my 'Testing' and it is between The Creator and me. I succumbed to my 'Nafs' or ego or the thought created 'self' and as such committed trangressions towards my Lord. For three nights i remained virgill in the hut alone at the foothills of the village of Lintang where the SRI LOVELY organic Padi farm is located. I wrestled with my mind or call it my demons over the hows and why i think so much, what are thoughts are and how they have influence over me in between short sleep over rough bamboo floor. Whenever i awaken i would 'sit' and contemplate my mind as I had little else to do or occupy myself, while breathing deeply and realigning my achy body and and to ease the pressure at the lower back of my skull. (high blood pressure?) 
After I have found the space of calmness and peace, I talk to the All Mighty begging for his forgiveness and mercy over all my sins big and small, seen and unseen, those that i have committed and those that that i am yet to commit that i am presently committing. I ask Him to forgive both my parents, my wife and the rest of my siblings and family. I ask Him to lead me in the Right Path and make all my wishes be fulfilled without hindrances. I ask Him to protect me against His 'Tests' and against my own nafs.  I call out to Him to forgive me my weaknesses and shortcomings, egoistic tendencies and my ignorance; for He is Oft Forgiving and Most Merciful. Then I would lay down again on the  bamboo floor of the bamboo hut, with ants crawling all over me and inside my cloth and mosquitoes buzzing around my ears i curled up my body and force myself to sleep. I find respite until something else outside would wake me up, like goats running amok all over the nearby huts. Or a motorcycle rode in at the ungodly time of the night. I would sit, and repeat the same process often doing body stretches to work out the aches and pains.
Eventually i ended up staying at the farm till on the morning of the Aidil Fitri itself not realizing it. Two boys came on a motorcycle to inform me that their father had invited me to eat at his house, I asked them," Are you not Fasting?" and one of them said, "Mamu, its Hari Raya today!" I was shocked and immediately got packed up and head for Penang after dropping by for a short visit to the Captain's house, He told me that my daughter has sent out a bulletin for my disappearance it's all over the Internet. Apparently the Captain had not known that i was staying at the farm and when my daughter had called two days earlier he had told her that he had not seen me. So Marissa pressed the panic button and spread the message around among my friends and my sons that i have gone missing. She even text her brother in Dubai and the one in Switzerland. I was not in the right state of mind and being there had helped me to see a little better of where i am at. I should be thankful and blessed of the fact that there are those who genuinely cared for my well being. That I was allowing external events dominate my mind.
As soon as i arrived in Penang we went for a pizza at Gurney Paragon with our friend Raymond. As they shopped at the Daiso, Japanese outlet selling everything at RM5, I realized how I was sitting and staring at a group chickens playing around me in the most remote area of Litang and now three hours later i am staring at Japanese nick-nacks. Such Is! Selamat Hari Raya Puasa, Happy Eid MUbarak!

On this morning of Ramadan - First Day of the third quarter.

It is mentioned in the Qur'an that The Lord has closed all the door

to hell and put a restraining order upon all evil beings such as Satan and his cohorts from making any influence in the lives of man during the fasting Month of Ramadan. Hence if one is to commit transgressions or sins, go against the Lord's command, it will not be because one is hearing voices telling one to do so but one is committing such acts by one's own volition. In other words one's 'nafs' or ego as i interpret it to be is fully responsible for making such erroneous decision to disobey God. Thus during this Holy Month of Ramadan, Allah is testing you through your ego, to see if you or your 'lower nature' has control of you life.

The age old question arises, what is ego? or what is nafs?

Nafs (نَفْس) is an Arabic word (cognate of the Hebrew word nefesh נפש) occurring in the Qur'an and means self, psyche^[1] ego or soul. In the Quran, the word is used in both the individualistic (e.g. verse 2:48) and collective sense (verse 4:1), indicating that although humanity is united in possessing the qualities of a "soul/nafs/consciousness" they are individually responsible for exercising the agencies of their "free will" that it provides them.. Wikepedia.

“And the soul and the perfection given to it. Thus was given awareness of its evil and its good. He succeeded who purified it and he failed who corrupted it”
(91:7-10)

“And as for him who fears the status of his Lord and forbids the soul from low desires
Then surely the heaven is the abode.”(79:40, 41)    

“O confident soul!
Return to your Lord pleased (with Him), pleasing (Him).
So enter among my servants
And enter to my heaven.”(89:27, 28)

Exploring Islam - Abdullah Rahim.

Thus from the above quotes of the Holy Qur'an one is to assume that nafs is the negative side of the Soul in man? A bi product that has to be restrained and pacify in order that one can manifest the goodness in the soul. The question is whi is making this assessment? This observation? The good side of the soul or God? Is the soul then a split entity or both potentially good and evil and if so who is policing the choices that is made, to do good or bad in life? Is there then a third entity that is neutral making all the observations and arriving at the choices, good or bad.

I am not challenging the infallibility of the Holy Book or the words of God, but am just wondering at the interpretation or 'Tafsir', seeing if there is more to it than just as it is. I watched a talk given by a member of the senate give a speech to shut up his opponent by stating that one cannot apply 'Logic' when interpreting or discussing the words of God, or something to that effect, I think that is crap. Allah says, "Read!" as the first word in the Qur'an and He did not went on to say Read blindly or with blind 'Faith'. He has given us 'Free will' to think for ourselves and the mind came into being. Is the mind the third entity that is making the observations over matters right or wrong hat is being commuted by the Dual Soul? Or is the 'Mind' or free will is the culprit that is influencing and causing the split in the soul's having to and capacity to choose.

There can never be two souls split or otherwise. The true nature of the human soul can never realized or revealed by man unless it is sanctioned by God; it is one of the secret of secrets that man is incapable of knowing through his thinking mind. The Prophet of Allah was given a brief glimpse of it but was also told not to dwell on the issue, hence the human soul is in Allah's domain and remain so. But eh nafs is something for man to come to terms with if he is to become purified in his words, thoughts and deeds. This is the primary reason why man has to get to know himself first and foremost; Who is he, Who am I? Am I the soul, the alter soul or the ego (nafs). Who do blame for not fasting during this month of Ramadan,or worse committing heinous crimes as is happening now all over the Middle East, during this Holy Month?

The human soul is said to have made a covenant with the Lord before conception into this realm of existent and that was the ultimate profess that there is none but Allah as the Logos or Divine Injunction. With this covenant it is clear that the Human Soul was created pure from all stains or duality just as the first Human Soul was created in the Image of the Lord, Adam (AIS), the first Man. When did nafs crept into his consciousness as an entity; the Story of Genesis or Creation itself might shed some light on this and herein begins man's own interpretation of his 'Being'. When did it all began? 

Is man's consciousness or awareness the third or neutral factor that helps to make all the 'Right Choices' and if so how do we develop this faculty that in essence governs our free will...WallahuAllam...only He knows.