The Rambling Mind.

A New Day and New beginning, of many new days and beginnings, and where am I  at? What have I learned or who have I become? Am I nearer or further than intentions, my goals, my dreams, how far or how near am I to the realization of my divine consciousness or is there even such a notion anymore? Am I just another lost soul making attempts to reach the other shore but not being able to cut away my anchor, my ties to the one i am on, my attachments, my clinging, my hopes and desires? Yes at this early hour in the morning on this what could be another beautiful Sunday I am sitting here letting out my thoughts as they arise from the depths of my restful mind, a mind that had been stirring pots of spicy curry for the catering business downstairs and the body that had dried up from the sweating as the result. A mind that had performed its 'Fajr solat' or the dawn prayer and felt the nearness to its Maker as not so often felt, a mind that sat on the toilet bowl contemplating the status of where i am at this morning. How do I set set myself free?!
The question behind all these questions is still, 'Who wants to know?' Who is asking? Who is going through this whole experiences at this early hours in the day? Have it all been one long wasteful trip from one state of nothingness to another state of emptiness, one emotion to another , one accomplishment to another without any rhyme or reason but just to fill up empty spaces and time and to live out an allotted period of existence as preordained by the All Mighty, the Cosmic Consciousness Itself as It projects its own will upon this realm of time and space continuum? Or is there some higher order to it all to be fulfilled by this entity that asking these questions ever since it was incepted from beginning- less time  Is the amoeba that first crawled out of the waters of primordial consciousness still in existence after having split itself to become the rest of life itself? Dumb thoughts and a waste of energy in futile pursuit of emptiness in the realm of the void itself one may say. mind juggling, the onset of insanity, a prelude to decadence of mind and consciousness itself. or sheer awakening of what has been dormant for ages, or the death of an ego.
Whatever it may be, this that is calling itself 'I', 'me' and 'mine' is feeling the winds of change, of transmutation, of evolution from one state into the next albeit higher or lower yet to be experienced. Yesterday while attending a wedding which was held in the compounds of a 'Surau' or a small mosque, a funeral service was also held at the 'surau'  and I joined in the Asar or evening prayer and the special prayer for the dead. How blessed the man who died as there were so many who sent him off in the little mosque of which I was told he was the caretaker of the 'Khatib'. Mny who prayed were strangers to the deceased and were there to celebrate a wedding, by Allah's Will, perhaps his wish for a memorable send off was fulfilled. So what is your take on death and the after life? Have you given up on the answers? How fortunate for you perhaps it is the best way to be as is said, ignorance is bliss. You whp believe in the sanctimony of a wedding ceremony but blinded to the sacredness of honoring death and the afterlife.
Ah, but I still have all the time ahead of me for all that as i intend to live a long and healthy life, you say to yourself, what is missing a prayer or two or what difference does it make for so long as i live a good life and hurt no one, by all counts I should be accorded a better chance of prospering in my life after death too; it is the law of humanity, the law of Karma, like do unto others and so forth. "Amal Ma'ruf, nahi mungkar," do good, abstain from evil deeds is all it takes for your ticket to a good afterlife, is it? What has having faith got to do with it? Someone once said that falling asleep is a great act of faith, you don't know if you will wake up. ( I added the later part.) So what happens if you never wake up from your sleep? Will you keep on dreaming and perhaps living in your dream state? A frightening thought but not impossible if you think of it. Your body may be gone, wrapped up and thrown into the ground to be recycled but you are where you are in this or that dream state always reaching but never really getting there, running but never really getting away fast enough and meeting people that you have never met before and being in places that you have never been to before , in short lost in limbo! But you sleep, you yearn for sleep to come and sometimes you take pills to fall asleep; why?
Where am i going with all these? I don't know right now but i will arrive at the conclusion somewhere ahead I am sure, but for now i am letting mind mind ramble on and watch what gives. Faith is not something that you are born with but something fed into you by the conditioning factors like your parents and the environment and so on as you age. Faith is something that you learn to get use to as you fall over one after another failures in life. You develop your faith from watching others living their lives day to day dealing with all kinds of trials and tribulations and making it through to the next day, and you ask, how? Faith in God, in humanity, in Love and in Yourself, you learn to have faith in all of these at one time or another to cope with what life throws at you or you drown just like a stone. Your faith keeps you alive, not your hope but faith, it is much stronger than hope and it is ever in the Now where hope is in the future.Without faith, a man is like a cork floating down the river at the mercy of the currents smashed against the rocks and sunk in the mud, With faith he learns to find his anchor and have control over his movement whether to stay or to go, with the power of faith he can create for himself the choices he wants to happen and not be at the mercy of fate and circumstances for with faith comes determination and perseverance, will and courage, patience and passion.
When life seems meaningless and barren, faith will lead the mind towards a sense of longing for a completion, a meaning and a yearning for the truth. The whole journey of knowing who you truly are is in knowing the truth about your being here in this field of infinite possibilities; this realm of Cosmic Consciousness. Only faith can lead you to such a realization, for faith is the ultimate faculty the you have to pierce through this veils of ignorance that has enshrouded your mind since time beginning. The shroud that hides you from who you truly are; that of a Divine Being, (manifesting in a human form.) Unless your egoic mind is liberated from its sense of arrogance and wonder, faith is all that will deliver you to the other shore and the other; so, abandon all hope!
" Whoever puts his Tawakkul or having unwavering, trust (faith) in Allah SWT (God), He will be sufficient for Him, Whoever puts his trust in Him, He will suffice him." 65: 2-3 Al Qur'an. Tawakkul is your source of Ease and Happiness, in both difficult and happy times...and He will provide you from sources that you could not even imagine. Re; Tawakul - Trust Allah a Powerful Story - Ahmed Jibril on You Tube.
"This place ( this life on this earth) is designed to break your heart. If you look to be happy in this life you are in the wrong place.and that is why the Sahabah (the Companions of the Prophet PBUH), in times of Ease they were more frightened than in times of hardship, because they said; Eas is only followed by Harship. When things are Easy they are always followed by Hard times. " the best act of worship is waiting patiently for a Happy outcome. As long as the Calamity is in this world it is a blessing, because the real calamity is the calamity in the next world."

"Those who believe, and whose hearts finds satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah, For without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction."

Never meant to get carried away this far but such is, when the mind needs to ramble it goes all over in every direction till it gets to where and what was really aching to be heard and in this case it was about having faith?