What is the Root of Psychological Disorder?

There will always be doubts in my mind no matter how confident or justified i might feel about how i see life as it is and for so long as i am existing along with all the rest of humanity in the form friends and relatives, society and state, i am bound to rub shoulders and often the wrong ways with one another. my ways are not commonly accepted by the norm as it is a blatant challenge towards no desiring much and not willing to bow to the ways of those who see wealth as the answer to life's day to day existence. I watch the hard working people work even harder to accumulate more each day so that they can do more with what they have and in the process i watch them loose their sense of compassion and understanding towards those who are less fortunate or whose ambitions lies in a different state. Sometimes I feel that the so called financially well to do becomes harden with anger towards those they consider not striving like them to make it big in this material world, they despise those who seem not willing to work like they do. I have lived among these people all over the world and I am still not convinced that theirs is the way to go about making this world a better place for all. I see more self serving self fulfilling and self centered individuals in the so called successful business world than much else to brag about..
Perhaps I am too judgemental and overly sensitive about how others live or choose to be who they are and are they not merely my own self reflection? If i were in their shoes what would i be like? How would i spend mt time and wealth if i were to have chosen to pursue material wealth at whatever cost. i had to opportunity to at a very early age had i wanted to but i opted to see the world instead and thus giving up the opportunity of attaining a good possibility of making it big and becoming a bid spender today. Well as i always say i have a mirror image to look at in the from of my twin brother who by any standards can be considered a very wealthy man who could today sit around and do nothing and still get a monthly income from the government. But for half an hour difference, i could have been him, or could I? What difference does it makes today? I am me, still wondering what or where the hell life has gone to, or am I being left behind by what is called success having missed the boat of opportunity somewhere along the way to where i am at.
This is how my doubtful mind operates i order to not do what it needs to do at present and instead occupies itself with useless thoughts of the past and the unalterable circumstances which in the end would lead on to a sense of depression and giving up in despair; how come?! Why does the mind so in tuned with the negative more so than the positive? Sometimes it seems like it is even anti being happy or satisfied. It is as though an entity living within an entity or the host and sucking up all the positive energy and manifesting the negative into the external world. In the process the mind has become so convincing that the external world reflects what is manifested within and one experiences negativity from every contact with others. The mind is incapable of seeing itself as a negative entity or having negative effects on the world out there, it just seems to want to create as much drama as it possibly can feeding upon the fall outs of every cause and effects of its habitual craving and clinging on to, being judgemental and insensitive towards others often to the point of disgust while itself dwells in self lies and deceit; the mind does not recognize that it is hypocritical.
It is only till the last few weeks that I am able to pray the complete five times a day prayer or 'Solat', and it is with the help of my cousin, Ahmad Kalam. Even then I do miss one or two a day sometimes and when i do i watched how my mind reacts. even when I do pray i find my mind would be at its busiest to distract me from my focus on what i was doing. I often miss this or that totally and had to make up for it. It is a wonder how strong this mind is if it decides to hold you at its mercy, not even the presence of God can deter it from waylaying you from performing your prayer.I can blame it on the devil or shaytan, demons and so forth, but it is my mind, my mind is the devil, the demon, there is no other entity that is exerting any form of corruption upon my self, is there? How miserable and vexation upon vexation arises out of the blue prompted by the slightest noise or the glance of a face or the smell of a bad breath. How does one chop off this incessant intrusion that keeps dissuading one from making the right moves and choices of being consciously aware of what is directly before the eyes to be content with rather than what is conjured by the mind from mere fleeting interface with the externals or from memories of bygone events and episodes. In short how does one truly stay in the present moment focused upon what is at hand and free from the influences of the thinking mind?
Is not the self the beginning of all disorder? J. Krishnamurti often ask in his talks, is the self centered activities that segregates and divides as inclusive or exclusive not the main cause of disorder? And I agrees with him a very long time ago when i first had an encounter with his teachings that it is the self centeredness of the egoic self that is the center of most of what is experienced as negative activities in my life. "The very nature of the self must intrinsically brings disorder, suffering, must human beings live in this state? Is it inevitable?" Krishnamurti asked. Can we make a change from this human conditioning and how? Am i satisfied with how i am living now, are you? if not how do we change? Can we change the nature of our society, our existence without changing our very own nature itself/ A question asked by almost every thinking man and myself included. The psychologists will say we can only modify and accept, learn to live a more quiet and less anxiety ridden life because of our human inherent conditioning, my shrink told me this to the tune of $75 an hour, which was the best according to his sliding scale at the time.
The question arises, am i getting too anchored in the religious practice of Islam as i was in Buddhism at one time in my life? I have for as long as i can remember believe in God or Allah as in my case, although there were times i challenged God in my most darkest moments at the nadir of my life, but i have never doubted my believe if there was God or not and this is not because i fear for the afterlife of being subjected to hell fire or whatever lay in store for me, but to me it is what holds the fabric of life itself, this faith in a Higher Order. that which transcends all thoughts and imaginations I am capable of and yes, i fear this Oder for all the transgressions and doubts that i have towards it at one time or another in my life, but I fear more of not trying to understand this Higher Order and how it governs my existence and that of the Universe itself. If my relationship with myself, my life , my society, is not right, how can I have a relationship with the Immeasurable, the Immense Being called God or whatever Name you choose to call this Being?