The Dream Catcher - Stephan King

Here's Looking at you, Sir!
 About ten more pages to finish reading Stephan King's "The Dream Catcher", it took me almost a week off and on and more so my eyes are not what they used to be.Saw the movie a long time ago but was not fully into it and did not catch the story, but now having read the book I look forward to seeing the movie again. An odd thing happened when I was giving an art class at the Convent Green Lane last Monday, out of the blue one of the more smarter attentive Malay girl came up tome and handed me a 'Dream Catcher.' I asked her do you know what this is? Dream catcher! She shot back. I told her i had just started reading the book and it is sitting in the car.What are the odds? She has her own in the house; it is uplifting to find that reading is still alive.
I enjoyed the story and Stephen King is no doubt a 'Dream Weaver' in my book when it comes to spinning the yarn no author can surpass him as yet especially in his stories depicting the daily lives of your average Joes living in the small abandoned towns scattered all over the United States; I felt like I was given a nostalgic joy ride reminding me of my life and travels through similar small towns more so in the Mid West. But the story itself got my attention because it deals precisely with the workings of the human mind, its thoughts, and emotions and how far reaching it can take you if you learn to develop it. Although it is another fiction it is very well thought short of miraculous in the workings of a creative mind. I can go on and on about the book but it will be boring for those who don't like to read novels. For me it is a matter of keeping tabs on what my mind attracts to itself in the form of readings; what would i read next? Books lately has the uncanny habit of falling into my hands, books that seemed very related to my practice of being in the here and now.
Stephen Edwin King is an American author of contemporary horror, suspense, science fiction and fantasy. His books have sold more than 350 million copies and have been adapted into a number of feature films, television movies and comic books. WikipediaBorn: September 21, 1947 (age 66), Portland, Maine, United States

Spouse: Tabitha King (m. 1971)
Movies and TV shows: Under the Dome, It, The Shining, The Shawshank Redemption, The Mist, Carrie, The Green Mile, Stand by Me, Haven, Misery, The Stand, Storm of the Century, 1408, Rose Red, The Running Man, Stephen King's Desperation, Bag of Bones, Creepshow, Secret Window, Cat's Eye, Thinner, Sleepwalkers, Pet Sematary, Maximum Overdrive, Cujo, Christine, Dreamcatcher, The Dead Zone, Nightmares and Dreamscapes: From the Stories of Stephen King, Kingdom Hospital, The Langoliers, Silver Bullet, The Dark Tower, The Lawnmower Man, Apt Pupil, Dolores Claiborne, The Night Flier, Children of the Corn, Firestarter, Dolan's Cadillac, The Tommyknockers, Needful Things, Graveyard Shift, Hearts in Atlantis, Riding the Bullet, Trucks, The Mangler, Salem's Lot, Sometimes They Come Back, 'Salem's Lot More
Except for Karim, all the other three of my children enjoys reading, Karim will pick it up I am sure once he runs out of movies to watch or left out in th wilds where there is no Computer or videos to entertain him. I do not mind  if that is where he is at right now but I am afraid he will have many a rude awakening when he finds it a little bit too late when shit hits the fence, like his studies. I can only lead the horse to the water, I cannot make him drink.I was fortunate to have had my eldest brother's influences when it comes to reading. he was an English Language teacher in High school and had a great collections of  comic books and novels, Playboy magazines and Erotica's. I read Lady Charley's lover when i was thirteen and My Secret life by ?Miller at about the same time which included the 'Midnight Scholar' or the Prayer Mat of Flesh by LI Yutang. Among other things they helped to improve my English if not my mind. I owe it to my brother 'Spike' for how I have lived my life and the books and novels i had read in the sixties while a atudent at the Sultan Sualaiman Secondary School had fed me with knowledge that i later was able to savour in real life experiences. James Michener
James Albert Michener (/ˈmɪtʃnər/;[1] February 3, 1907 – October 16, 1997) was an American author of more than 40 titles, the majority of which were sweeping family sagas, covering the lives of many generations in particular geographic locales and incorporating historical facts into the stories. Michener was known for the meticulous research behind his work.[2]

Michener's major books include Tales of the South Pacific (for which he won the Pulitzer Prize for Fiction in 1948), Hawaii, The Drifters, Centennial, The Source, The Fires of Spring, Chesapeake, Caribbean, Caravans, Alaska, Texas, and Poland. His nonfiction works include the 1968 Iberia about his travels in Spain and Portugal, his 1992 memoir The World Is My Home, and Sports in America. Return to Paradise combines fictional short stories with Michener's factual descriptions of the Pacific areas where they take place.[2]
 I enjoyed the African continent and its vast expanse in Wilbur Smith's adventurous stories.

Wilbur Addison Smith is a best-selling novelist. His writings include 16th and 17th century tales about the founding of the southern territories of Africa and the subsequent adventures and international intrigues relevant to these settlements. Wikipedia

In the world of espionage and clandestine operations none can match to works of Robert Ludlum and Tom Clancy. Ludlum's Jason Bourne sagas has become an icon of the movie screen for those who enjoy spy thrillers.
Robert Ludlum was an American author of 27 thriller novels. The number of copies of his books in print is estimated between 290 million and 500 million. They have been published in 33 languages and 40 countries. WikipediaBorn: May 25, 1927, New York City, New York, United States

Died: March 12, 2001, Naples, Florida, United States
Movies: The Bourne Identity, The Bourne Legacy, The Bourne Supremacy, The Bourne Ultimatum, Covert One: The Hades Factor, The Osterman Weekend, The Holcroft Covenant, The Apocalypse Watch, The Chancellor Manuscript ..More



    

The Budjet 2014

                                          Here's one looking at you,Sir!
Conserve your energy! my friend Ah Huat the Auto Aircondinationning Master, Do what ever is that needed to be done before your eyes and consider all else as unimportant. Ah Huat looked like he had  an awakening experience when I entere his mechanic shed in Sungai Dua. "Shamsok! Sudah makan ka belum? Jom pi makan dulu, gua lapak, dari pagi talak makan." Hey, buddy, had your dinner yet? Lets go catch a bite to eat. I am very hungry from not having anything to eat since morning."

 I am scared of even looking at the Headlines in the Media today after the Budget 2014 was read before parliament yesterday by the Primeminister Najib Tun Razak. One of my buddies watching remarked in Malay that head to drink gulps of water to cool himself down from all the shit that was pouring out of his mouth! Looking at the reactions from the headlines today from various pros and cons, it looks pretty scary the least to say.
But we are still a very much practicing democratic country better than most in the world, we may not be perfect but was are still practicing within the civil lines of non violence.
It did not matter to me if the PM had gulps of water every five or ten minutes and how nervous he seemed or how red his lips were, I listened with an open mind trying to make sense out of non-sense and it all boils down to money and cents. I am proud to hear that we do have made progresses and build a amicable infrastructure over the years, many who live on the fringes of the jungle along the Ulu Terengganu have come a long from my days spent there in the Sixties. Kuala Berang, Ajil, Jerangau, and all along the Jerangau Road to Kuantan, all these places are now quite lit up at night; progress. People in these areas mostly do not have to depend on wells and stream and rivers for their drinking water and there is a big lake in the back yard, The Tasik Kenyir. So slowly but surely we are crawling towards getting our nation developed to become like Dubai, but for us it will take a very long and tedious time; we are still embroiled on the issue of the use of the word 'Allah" ...Masha'Allah!
That's the way it seems it is going to be for us Malaysians, we will take one step forward and two backwards but sooner we will get there where we will look back and be able to laugh at ourselves like ware doing now while reflecting of how far we have come whiteout totally obliterating what fragile sanity we hold ourselves together; a nation of multi- cultural multilingual, multi- religion co-existing as best we could by the unwritten constitutions of our forefathers; that we either learn to live together by give and take or perish, forever doomed to mediocrity as a nation in the eyes of the world.
As far as the Budget 2014 goes I voted, and it is up to those I voted for to will and deal with it for the benefit of the whole; it is their task now no matter who they are in the Parliament if they are worth their salt. Nothing is carved in  stone yet.
You can only keep on taxing the people for so much and so long, you cannot tax them forever- Robin Hood.
Off course you cannot, must not slaughter any animal within the school yard! It is simply not done by any religion from way back when! There places you simply learn to honor and respect no matter what your creed. Children should not be exposed to the act of slaughtered or butchering an animal as it affects their young minds and no all minds can handle so much blood and guts; clinically speaking No!
What if a Chinese decides to start slaughtering pigs for every religious occasion and they have a great many to qualify, what then? The Lord have mercy on us all if this kind of issues keeps creeping out and freaking us all out. A mistake is made, and it will not be made again it becomes the law if there is none in existence today...schools and institutions are out of limits for animal sacrifices of any kind other than those used in the course of a biology classes. Only fools cannot see this and my father and his did not vote for fools to run this country to the ground.
"Ya-Allah, panjangkanlah umur kami,
Sehatkanlah badan kami,
Terangilah hati kami,
Perbaikanlah amal kami,
Luaskanlah rezaki kami,
Dekatkanlah kami kepada kebaikan,
Dan jauhkanlah kami dari kejahatan,
Tunaikanlah hajat kami,
Baik hajat dalam Agama, Dunia dan Akhirat.
Sesunguhnya Engkau Maha Kuasa atas tiap tiap sesuatu."
                                                    Doa mohon panjangkan umur, Di sehatkan badan dan Di tetapkan Iman.

Dear Lord,
I ask of You for a long life, a healthy life, an enlightened heart. Guide me in my practices and allow for wealth to come into my possession. Bring me closer to the good and keep me away from wrongdoings. Fulfill my intentions, albeit in Religion, the Worldly or the Hereafter.
You are the Lord of Power!
As my friend Ah Huat said yesterday evening while we were having dinner at a street corner in Gelugor across the road from Minden Heights, we are zero! This is from a young Chinese mechanic who left schooling at the age of thirteen? "Gua ( Hokien for I) rasa macham kosong, tapi
nampak semua. Gua punya bini marah sama anak gua tangok saja tapi tadak cakap apa, tengok saja! Nanti semua sudah habis gua pi buat marah sikit bawa minyak kasi urut sikit semua selesai."
In short he said i felt empty, I felt like just I am there but not involved just watching. I watched my wife scold my daughter and said nothing, just watched and after they have worked it all out i do the patching up. My friend Ah Huat is having a taste of awakening or Satori or Kensho. and i hope it last for a long time if not forever, he is a very good man. He said to me that I am one of the very few people he can talk to in these matters others will say he is nuts.
Kenshō is an initial insight or awakening, not full Buddhahood. It is to be followed by further training to deepen this insight, and learn to express it in daily life.

Wikipedia.

If only more Malaysians can wake up from their sleeping slumber and awaken with intelligence like my friend Ah Huat I am confident we will ride out this coming political storms that is brewing within the borders of our nation.

Acceptance of the Ups and Downs.

All vexations in my life is brought upon me by myself, there is no one responsible for my actions except myself and no man can take responsibility for my travails but me; reminding me who I am this morning as depression threatens to engulf the what can be another beautiful and productive day. Negative energy will creep into your mind if it is allowed to do so with no check and rectifying its course. It will manifest in all shapes and forms and will subtly seep into your every action limiting them with a sense of depression usually in the from of a lack of energy or will power; everything around you appears negative; is it s a very common illness today.
What triggers this feeling can be anything from looking at your messy room when you wake up or seeing others working very hard trying to keep up with the good life. It can be triggered by unfulfilled intetnions of the previous day or an event that has shoved you off from your 'Dharma Position' or your 'comffort zone'. that from which you feel most comfortable to act from. Or thay can be caused by old 'pain bodies' as Eckhart Tolle calls them. Dealing with this state of mind is crucial for me as I move through the day making sure I am aware of it and not let it overcome my judgements in my actions. I try not to avoid it by seeking a s more 'fun type' activity, like the movies, to replace it by but I, from my practice over the years have been accepting these vexations and working with it till I am free from its grip, turning every negative perception into creative and productive act no matter how insignificant or minor an act.
Like polishing the mirror or polisihing a diamond I look for all the sources causing these negative feelings and accept them for what they are acknowledging their presence and if and when possible making amends and reconciliations as quickly as possible. Removing ever speck of dust from the surface of the mirror I reflect all that transpires before me with as little attachment as i can; I practice 'Bare Attention'. I am finding that i can become detached from my environment and events spinning around me with much more impact than I have ever felt; but there are deep rooted Karmas that will always be there to keep me on my toes. These are stains from the past that are too stubborn or too permanent to be easily wiped away without deeper reflections and repentance(taubat) in order for them to be erased permanently, the take allot of digging and flipping for them to become absorbed into the void or emptiness; the compost pile of the subconscious.
No man escapes Karmic consequences for so long as he is attached to the phenomenal world and subjected to its delusional entrapment's, like living in a world of make belief. As what goes around comes around, every action of ours in this phenomenal life will generate a reaction in one form or another if not to us personally to the ones who matter most to us. karmic retribution works it is a part of your genetically make up, an integral part of your DNA; there is no escape. However there are ways to turn these Karmas into Good Karmas by tilling the soil and creating a compost out of every bit of the waste from these karma into a fresh fertilizer for the garden; grist for the mill. One can only do this if one is fully conscious of one's present state of mind as thought arises one by one, it becomes a problem when too many thoughts arise all at the same time, it is overwhelming and one looses sight of reality, one becomes anxious leading on to depression; not in a good mood. if this is allowed to dominate one's being for over a longer period of time than it become chronic and harder to manage. Nipping negativity at the buds is the key towards healing this wearied mind; this is the essence of meditation or Za-Zen.
The act of sitting and watching the mind as thoughts arises and falls away is like polishing the mirror as one reflects what is before one's mental screen, one recognizes the essence and acknowledge its presence while doing away bit by bit the details. Now feeding or dismissing, not trying to control or allowing to be controlled, not passing good or bad judgement, one simply watch with bare attention all that arises and allow for them to dissipate into the void effortlessly. No stains from nor any residue is left behind when they are gone, one is filled with emptiness, or space as some would call it.
It is in this from within this space that there is a possibility of turning away from negative emotions as they arise, this space is like a thermostat for change and often times it can happen from a long deep breath and letting it out slowly like a sigh of acceptance, not to be mistaken for a sigh of giving up in defeat. When one has recognized the cycles of one's day to day emotions through the practice of awareness it gets easier to have a little sway over their outcome, one start to gain some handle on how to manage them accordingly.
"I am the Master of my thoughts and consciousness"; The Raja Yoga. For most of us it has become the opposite, I am subjected to my thoughts and consciousness. It is like smoking, after many years one becomes slave to it, the attachment is so great that one cannot do without it; one is addicted to thinking. The mind becomes cluttered with incessant thinking of the past present and future, of events and experiences, of good and bad of all the details and which often leads to mental overload and confusion, which leads on to guilt and fears, which eventually would end up in instability and insanity. Most of us find escape in sleep from the bombardment of thoughts as our mind cannot tolerate anymore the burden of too much ideas and emotions being downloaded into the brain. For some a good stiff drink or a joint will bring some respite form too

Happy Birthday Little Girl -You are a woman now.

                                                     On the 21st. of Oct. This little girl became a young lady of 21
How time flies and how they grow up before your very eyes. Born in San Francisco at St.Luke's on Mission and Army Street in the Mission District, Marissa Bahari is now 21 years old; I am free, she announced to her peers!! Yes she is and always has been even if she did not know it as from an early age she has her own mind and i allowed for her to be who she is as much as i could. I do not believe in shaping or forcing my ways on to my children even in their education but I always remind them to be mindful especially of the little things in life. To be respectful to those who are their elders and to take pride in who they truly are.



Marissa with Memo Folco's daughter at Golden Gate Park, Children's playground.



Both Karim and Marissa practically grew up in the Golden Gate park as we were living on 2nd Avenue in between Folsom and Balboa, two blocks from the park. The picture is of the kids taking a picture with a couple of elderly tourists who would have adopted them if I had allowed it and take them ho to Armenia or somewhere. 

                                                        

George Berberis Holding Marissa with Sofia his daughter looking on. Below is Mom and dad, visiting George in San Jose, California. George was one of my closest friends and is now some big shot in the Fiberoptics industry last i heard. A great man with a great mind. I was with him when he opened his ice cream parlour the "Go Bananas, located on Geary Blvd, in San Francisco, this was where i met George. I introduced George to his wife Rosemary a Philippine lady. If not for me they would not have met.

I taught an art class at Convent Green Lane, Marissa former secondary school on the came morning and there were about sixty girls in the hall and they all sand happy Birthday to Marissa after the Art teacher Madame Lilian Kam told them that Marissa was a former student there. The sound of sixty odd girls singing on top of their voices was moving for me, it was unfortunate that Marissa was not there to share it.
Later in the evening Marissa, Karim and I went to the China House restaurant where she was working part time and the day earlier her boss had asked for the pastry chef to make her her favorite cake. We were joined by my brother Lee Khai whose office is a walking distance from the China House. it was a cozy time we had eating the cake and chatting over what next.
And this too will pass...

Nothing is permanent in this life All is transient...change is inevitable...acceptance of change in whatever form or nature it may be is the healing process of the effects of change...all with Right Understanding. and the bell rings...take a slow deep breath for now and return to the present...Be Here Now! It is all in the little things as well as the larger ones that one learns to make the positive connections by being in the moment at whatever one undertake to do. This is Being in the presence of the Universal Consciousness, the Collective All! This is being in the presence of the Lord...this is my prayer...my way to my Lord. may he forgive me for my transgressions and accept me as I am; I am Thy servant....Ya Allah!
This is my belief, my faith and i hope and pray that all my children will make every effort towards understanding of who they are as far their father is concern...I have seeked my way and found my journey's end in complete faith in Allah's Grace and Mercy. I entered His house through my long journey of searching and trying to make sense out of nonsense in this life has led me to enter Allah's domain through the back door...if you have been following this blog you would have come to some understanding of what i am tryng to share with you now...just in case you wonder.
This journal is not just about me and my follies, my fortunes and misfortunes in life, it is an experiment with faith., 'Tawakal' in Allah, (call Him by what you may).
Now that my youngest child is of age, I have done my part as a father to all my children they are all adults now I can take advice from them. My written English has changed over the years and hopefully towards improvement, but i write for a wider audience to share with, the 39 followers who has followed  my Blog and the others the 86,000 odd page viewers the I have an average of 150 readers daily from mainly in the United States and the rest of them from from scattered countries. It is a good feeling to be able to touch the minds of  others from different walks of life around the globe by telling them you life story and calling it a Ramblings of the Cheeseburger Buddha...This is my Birthday present to All four of you my children.

The Nipple Nebula - There is really no such Constellation just now, out there..

                                           "The Nipple" Nebula located somewhere deep within my Inner Space.
Title; The Nipple Nebula,
Medium; Oil/Acrylic on Plywood
Size; 6'x6'
Presently at the storage room at the Penang State Art Gallery as it was involved in an exhibiton for the Artist Favorite. 2013
Priced at RM6500 plus delivery.

And the Saga of the 'Name' continues to make my country like it is being run by a bunch of wannabe radical Muslims as International Muslim Nations around the world are getting the wind of it. It is a sad place for us to be as a Nation because this country is a multi-religious multi=cultural -multi ethnic and much louder need one scream into the night; be Aware! Be Conscious, be Realistic, be Creative; stop being ignorant, stop being self serving, stop being blind and insensitive towards our fellow man more so if he is of a different creed.

"The Malaysian decision overlooks not merely the theology, but also the etymology of the word. The word 'Allah' is derived from the Arabic 'al-ilah', the God. It has found its way across the world and entered Malay from Arabic," the editorial added. - October 18, 2013.

                                                                                 'The Daily Times', Pakistan.
                                                                                   
Malaysia is blessed with much talked about Ustazs and Ulamaks graduates of the Al-Azhar University in Cairo and many are leaders among the Muslim Malays in their communities and many play strong political roles, what is wrong with this picture? Why Islam being thrown into the negative limelight of the world over issues that has not needed time and deliberation involving the very Capitals of Islam such as the Muftis of the Arab Nations an so forth; those who claims to be the voice conscience for the Lord in this Physical realm. Where there was no issues now it has become like a sore in the eyes of the Muslim World; like we do not already have enough to bear being a Muslim in this day and age. Being a Muslim does not guarantee us any special treatment in the eyes of non Muslims and in most Western Countries it is like being a Jew or worse; look at how you are treated at the Immigration kiosk when you enter a Western country,; it cannot be helped, part of being civilized. The truth is it is not Islam that they are worried about but the man who claims himself a Muslim, what kind of a Muslim is this man? Is he a man of peace, or does he carry his faith like a Christian carrying a cross on his back, or does he purely exist to bring light and wisdom to the world wherever he be. Customs and Immigration Officers can sense this like drug sniffing dogs.
Paper article continued;
"It lamented that the problem with Muslims is that they looked at their religion like it was an "insecure entity" that needed to be protected with special care and attention lest it gets smeared and nullified."     I was converted to Islam at the age of twelve after being raised a Buddhist all my childhood days, I felt Islam caused me more psycho-emotional traumas than most other religions i had encountered throughout my adulthood and ironically for being angry most of the time at the circumstances episodes and dramas that i had gone through I always felt closest to Him in my moments of doubts. I may express 'Oh my God!', but this has no deep impact upon my consciousness than when i express 'Ya, Allah!' For me the word Allah carries it all like I am merely an empty space and He is present in me. No evil I feel can be committed while one is fully absorbed when saying, 'Bismillah, hiRahman, Nir,Rahim." In the Name of the Most Compassionate and most merciful, Allah, on performing any task at hand. Unlocking the car door, inserting the key into the ignition and starting and just before taking off; this is what i understand to be Mindfulness in Action.

"On Monday, The National - a United Arab Emirates daily - called the Malaysian court ruling "wrong", pointing out that the word Allah was never exclusive to Islam but both Christians and Jews used the word to refer to God even before the coming of Islam."

Enough said, "nasi dah menjadi bubor", (the rice has turn to broth), we will just have to ride this one out too with none to blame but our own very ignorance, fear and apathy. Is there a problem here, yes there is and what it is is what we have to learn to understand collectively and if we cannot, the least we can do is not take advantage of the situation or exploit the issue towards one's own self interest, for political purposes or for cultural religious preservation and i say this to all the religions that makes up for this country not just Islam! The Hindus, the Christians, the Buddhists, the Sikhs and the Ibans and the Kadazanas, et. will abide by the same rules when it comes to- Faith. 'Keimanan',
In this days of Information Technology, the Super Corridor...The Internet,...Ttweet and yadda! yada!, we would think that we have arrived at an age whereby nothing cannot be solved without the agreement of the consensus. Knowledge and the dissemination of information, looking for solutions and equitable answers is not a problem anymore, all you have to do is as the world and you will get all the answers, and the arguments and comments that you can make your safe disposition from; use the Internet! Find out what the rest of the Muslim World has to say about the historic blunder you are about to make on their behalf.





                                                                                             

Thank God, Its Friday!

                                               Electro Magnetic Field in my Brain.
Title; Electro- Magnetic Field
Oil and Acrylic on Plywood
Two panels combination.
3'x3'
A Part of my Space Series, (Inner and Outer Space).
Stored at Lee Khai's's office
Ong and Manecksha
200 Victoria Street, 10300, Penang.

Waking up I was innundated with the sound of life from all around me, the Restaurant downstairs, the loud singing in the kitchen areas and the reason why I had to get out of bed, ripping through my senses almost knocking me back to forced sleep, but i had to send my daughter to work, so I braved my self and decided what must be ,must be. One thing leading to the next events I find my way here like a calf seeking its mother's tits, addicted to life. It is indeed a beautiful morning with Dr. Chong, (USM, leading Astronome and Rocket Scientist) entertaining the school kids visiting the Museum to a "Rocket Launching programe" ...Satu!, Louder! Dua! Teeega@! Whoosh! off flies the Coke bottle into the the atmosphere and returning to earth lazily hung to a small parachute and the kids went ballistic! It is Friday morning and the question is do i or do i not go to the Mosque today? If i don't there is the whole day of feeling the guilt and if i do ...will see.

KUALA LUMPUR, Oct 18 — Banning non-Muslims from calling God “Allah” is tantamount to “syirik”, which refers to the sin of practicing idolatry or polytheism and is an unforgivable crime in Islam, respected Islamic scholar and former Perlis Mufti Datuk Dr Asri Zainul Abidin has warned Muslims.
The influential Islamic scholar stressed that Muslims must answer “Allah”, if a non-Muslim were to ask them who his true god is.

“They cannot say, ‘Your god and my god are different. You cannot say the name of my god’,” Asri wrote in a post on his blog yesterday.
“If they say that, then they are committing ‘syirik’,” added the Muslim cleric.

Now I feel a breath of fresh air has been blown into the matter pertaining to the word "Allah" for the Muslim Malays in Malaysia, although late in coming the former Mufti of has thrown down the gauntlets and touched upon the very nerves of Islam; I salute him.
Alhamdullilah! Blessings go Allah for having willed that one man has spoken up for what he truly understands and believe in the Way of Islam, The Way of Muhammad's, Allah, as the Turki Ahmad Hulusi termed it. Allah is All Compassionate, not a man or woman with lots of compassion, but the very Essence of Compassion itself, indiscribable by human forms or standards, He has the abundance Sense of Forgiveness and Love, this is His attribute in human terms and we , who are we to demnd for justice in His name without total commitment towards the integration and not the disintigration of our human race in its spiritual sense; Islam is the Religion of Unity, The last of the Prophets, The Rasul of Allah was sent to reconcile the human race, not just the Arabs through the Complete Acceptance of The One - Allah, Lord of the Worlds; you can definitely call Him God if that is what your religion teaches you or you can call him Allah..The One.
However taking a more sublime view I sense through my physical as well as mental reactions that I am definitely moved by the experience the word is the Universal Sound that vibrates throughout your physical as well as spitiutal foundations if uttered with complete MIndfulness; the Word is (God).
The Hindu Vedic Word is Aum! But in Aum it is Sound nothing but just it. In Allh the word claims itself to Be the One True Being. The sound when uttered while in a state of complete being, can be very potent as it will reach the farthest excesses of the Universe. Likewise the vibrational chords of the sound is transported inwards penetrating every nooks and crannies every cell and every Atom in its path with rejuvenating energy like a car being boosted. The Sound Effect upon our human form has great influences over our mood swings and how we perceive the Universe if not our personal lives. Like our daily ejections of our stool we have become removed from being aware of this our audio sense faculty.
When my daughter came out from the delivery room my late wife and I laid down on bed and I had my infant child on my chest all of us taking a break just after the delivery. I started noticing Marissa's rythm of breathing and i breath in time with hers as she aly rising and falling on my chest. In the beggining her heart was racing so rapidly that I felt scared, then I noticed that her rise and fall of breathing was in time with the Hospital's ventilation system which rins on a themostat,it kicks in every few minutes and run for a few minutes and then dies down for a few mintues; this was the vibration of the Universe for my dughter when she came into this life.
My breathing consciously and with much love and preservation  gradually was able to calm hers and settles to the normal rate as mine was at that moment in time; Pranayama Yoga, Understanding your breath. I realized how dependable the infants first moments of breathing is following the rythm of the thermostatic intervals of the ventillating system, in speed and rise and fall and when she was still in her mother's womb i could follow her breathing throught the sound system they have to listen to the baby's breath out loud, it was then I tthought sounded more like a pack of horses galloping picking up speed and then dlowing off into almost a silence then to rise again, but then I did not make the connection with the regulatory influence of the Hospital cooling system.
I realized too fo sensitivce her skin would be when first coming tinto contact with the outside world and today i marvel at how some people would handle an infant carelssly at birth as the first contact we have would have a tremendous affect  on the baby. even the surface of the wrap-around soft cloth would proof too sensitive and the infants only reaction would be to scream. 
Then the first words that comes to her ears were, La illa ha'Illal lah! whispered in her ears and this is the first vibrationaol imput that is meant to reach the spirit within, Allahu Akhbar! The Lord is Great! There is None, only He is the Lord of Creation. Sound matters in our genetical as well as spiritual and physical well being, our brains are equipped to cope with all manners of sound, at all levels of octaves and deciblesand these soundwaves affects the development of our general well being or adversely could cause us to sickness and lack. I listen to my car engine as i drive ver intimately just like a pilot would do so with the airplane engines as he flies through the night thousands of feet in the skies.
The word Allah to me is the sound that i relate to when I call upom my Lord to be in His presence or when i am trapped in some situation where life and death is involved or when I am simply afraid and at a loss. The very sound I create from within me, AllaaHh!, gives me that sense of being in the presence of my Creator and even death becomes secondary. For if I die with my consciousness is clearly in connection with my Creator then I have not lived in vain, I retrun to the Source that which I identify as Allah!
It is just a word, but it is the Word of words. The most exalted of words man can utter with his last breath and at the moment of death can make the difference between heaven or hell. For those who  have chosen other names such as God, Yehaweh and so forth, only their Gods can tell, Wallahu Alam. (Only Allah knows).
 I went to the Friday Prayer at the Masjid Jamek Sungai Pinang a mosque that i belong to, the mosque where i helped skinned three calves for the Korban two days ago or was it three...God! How time flies!. It was one of the best Friday Prayer i ever had and I told the Imam this when I shook his hand a good sermon ending with a great doa' and the very strong and beautiful sound of hundreds of male voices following the Imam in celebrating the Aidil Ardha or hari Raya Haji. Allahu Akhbar...Allahu Akhbar...Allahu Akhbar...La illa Ha'illal lah ...21 times. I felt present in mind and spirit, I felt the connectedness of one voice  from many almost as though I stood before my Lord with a feeling of acceptance, forgiven but still not completely clean or accepttable by His standards. I have mny rivers yet to cross and more trials and tribulations yet to endure,; I am still in the realm of ignorance, just barely waking up. before my Lord. I do not feel deserved to stand on the frontline where i always pray from the first row but I trust that it is Allah's will that I love to be at the mosque at least an hour earlier just to pray and sit in the quietness and solemnity and sanctuary of the House of The Lord. His Mosque.







 

Zen Scatology - The Way of Shit!

                                                   The Crab Nebula. (3x3' oil on canvass)
There is no such constellations as you see it in the Universe anywhere out there although the image was taken off the Internet from a Space Photo taken by an astrophysicist. By the time i was through with it the original has transformed into my own inner forms of thoughts and silence. Perhaps I have created yet another constellations of stars and planets out there, i have set in motion a strong, passionate and genuine impulse for the Universe to express itself, at least this is what i am being made to understand from having read and studied and meditated upon for years of what i haVE COME TO OR WHAT WILL I COME TO BE WHO I AM! (THE CAPITALS WERE MISTYPED, I WILL LET IT Be).
The painting is presently stored at Ong and Manecksha,
Associates and Solicittors,
200, Victoria Street,
10300 Penang,
Malaysia.
It is part of my "Space, The Tinal Frontier", series.
For any purchase enquiry please contact Mr. Lee Khai.
While checking out the bookshelf at China House Restaurant where Marissa works at on Beach Street and Victoria Street, in Georgetown, a place Marissa waitressed at every time she is on vacation from college, I found another good resourceful reading very tightly connected with my journey, I found a book by Charles T. Tart, Living The Minful Life. (a handbook for living in the present moment).
An insightful foreword by Sogyal Rinpoche, author of , The Tibetan Book of The Living and Dying. I am fortunate to have come into close contacts and benefited in more than ways from having read the works of G.I Gurdjieff and through it D. Oespenski's analytical study of the human consciousness. I studied under Jack Kornfeld and Thich Nacht Hanh, Norman Fischer and  Lou andBlanch Hartman, i was a student with Reb Anderson and I sat with Paul Disco as my main Instructor in my Zen Practice at Green Gulch Farm on Star Route One, Sausalito, Marin County, California; I spent two years of my life and transformed myself from what i was to what I am today.
I was the 'disruptor' to some, I was the incorrigible to others, I was an exotic clown and I was a deadly serious Student of Zen in the lineage of Sunryu Suzuki Roshi; The San Francisco Zen Center. This was a part of my journey through this spiritual life, ( not that i realized it as such most of my younger life.) for there were a whole lot of hedonistic and free for all dramas too that were involved for which I am reaping the karmic consequences and enjoying myself rambling about my past; what good is your past experience if it cannot be shared?  I can safely say that I have more than earned the rights of passage to be able to write as my mind dictates my fingers to write my thoughts out even if it is merely relating  stories form the past,; within theses stories i find wisdom that was hidden from me when I was in the midst of it, I only experienced the pain or pleasure of it but not the essence of every lesson it was meant to expose. I was not not present in the moment but my mind was, with all its preconditioned thought processes my mind became the director, the documentor the analyzer of what transpired and how long it sustained and how it dissipated into the memory files located deep in the recesses of the subconscious; what are the passwords!? One tap on the enter button and I realize I can unleash my mind to throw out all its hidden skeletons and treasures from years of living a life of a rambler, a story teller and entertainer of sorts, if not just to keep a the light of the great masters keep shining as darkness is threatening to engulf humanity from all around in shapes and forms that were once created from innocence and sincere desires and later transformed into warped ideas and weapons of mass destructions.
I believe i can fly, I believe I can fly just like everyone else but most of everyone my mind has attached itself to this phenomenal existence, the realm of forms and space, this physical realm that the Buddha considered to be the most auspicious realm to be if one is in the human form, for it is only in the form as humans can man conscious liberate himself, free from the bonds of ignorance; he can learn to at least die will full consciousness and right understanding of that which is life and death. Having lived life like a rolling stone most of my life and having gathered knowledge and wisdom from the corners of the planet I feel the 'Ke reda'an Allah' or Lord's Grace has been always in me throughout my journey. His Grace has sustained me through the darkest and lightest nights of my life, in fear and in sorrow, in loneliness and despair my thoughts would revert to Him even if often in the form of accusation and anger; the lack of justice, I would wail in the silence of the night, Why!! Why be here in this misery? Who asked to be here?! Did i have any choice in this decision? It started at a very early age ever since I learned what religions was all about as I was raised as a Buddhist and a Muslim both at the same time for 12 years of my life. This was my life growing in Georgetown, Penang where I attended Francis Light Primary School sometime in 1956 a year before the country gained its Independence.
Yes the mind enjoys worm digging and rummaging through old clothes just to savour the smell of bygone days, this too is alright for so long as it does not become a habit for no good reason; turn these thoughts and images from the past into food and fodder for reflections. case studies, dissections and amputations of cancerous tissues to be replaced and rejuvenated by ne w and healthy thoughts and dieas that helps to keep a meaningful existence towards being in Consciousness and Awareness of one's existence; turn the shit into a healthy compost and feed it to a healthy cabbage patch and produce the juiciest cabbage in the whole county, organic. Ironically in this day and age we hardly take a glance at what we dispose off when we sit on the toilet bowl with our magazine in our hand and and a cigarette smoking on the other, we take our crap and as soon as we feel like we had enough we wipe our ass and take a sniff at our fingers before we reach back and punch the flush unit, whoosh! All gone! This is how close we come to knowing what we are made up of. For those who have grown up gotten use to 'Washing your butts after taking a dump, consider yourself fortunate that you at least have good confidence that your butt hole is thoroughly clean when you walk out of the toilet; no left over residues, not physically nor mentally, good spiritually. Study you stool as you pass your motion as often as you can don't wait for the doctors and nurses to do it for you. The shape and color and consistencies of your stool can tell a telltale sign of what the condition of your stomach is like. Compare what you ate last and what came out and you would be surprise at what you might learn. If what is consumed is good, what comes out on the other end will be no less and sometimes even your shit can smell good. If you set off your day with a good smile on your face after taking a crap, you are guaranteed a blessed day. Try this, no one watching, only you and your dump! Take a closer look even if it is just a disgusting glance but try to see what was just ejected from you guts, your waste product, your used and discarded stuff that which you will continually consume and discharge till you die, look at it. I doubt the Buddha taught this but I feel it makes for good meditation practice especially if everthing seems not work for you in your search for a method a system an institution, a monastery, a form of drug, a form of worship, no, nothing seems to be of choice for you; take up the Zen of Scatology... the Way of Shit!

Selamat hari Raya Haji! --Greetings on the Aidl Adha!

                                                       Deep Purple
At the invitation of my brother Lee Khai I joined the Bible Study Fellowship group which was held at the Methodist Church on the corner of Anson and Burmag Road in Gerogetown. There were quite a number of people attending the study group for adult males comprising of mostly Chinese with a handful of Indians and in my beginners group I met two Nigerians and a gentleman from Minyanmar. Initially we were introduced to the fellowship and explained of its basic cause and purpose I was made to understand that the group's intention is to study the Bible and discover its hidden meanings, the group is not affiliated to any particular Christian Church.
My personal involvement  is to take advantage of the offer and make a thorough study of another major religion of the world, Christianity, the religion of Jesus Christ, or as known to the the Muslims as (Nabi IsaAlaii Salam). I have many unanswered questions about the Religion of Christ and like all the other religions in my life Christianity plays a significant role as I was married to ladies of Catholic Faith and two of my children were being raised through the religion of their mothers my late wife who passed away in Illinois, was laid to rest in a Christan cemetery; she is a Muslim by conversion. Here in Malaysia I have numerous Christian friends and the ever rising concern over the clash between Islam and Christianity in this country is becoming a concern as it raise allot of issues borders of suspicions and accusations; there need to be a very deep understanding of the two religions if there is to a be harmonious coexistence between the two.
This morning a glace at my Face Book I found my friend David's comment about the word 'Allah' being claimed as exclusive only to MUslims and not to be used in any religious translations such as the Bible a sore issue that seems both ironic and paradoxical but none the less a sensitive issue for the Muslim Malays in Malaysia.I have not come across any such claims made by any other Muslim countries not even Pakistan or Saudi Arabia, so I am assuming only Muslim Malays are making it their claim and are willing to go all out war if need be as the matter has arrived at the Highest Court of law in the country. it occupies the headlines in our Media and is being made a topic of conversation in coffee shops and the parliament. Most who I talk with has their legitimate reasons albeit the Muslims or Christians and I am at a crossroad as to what the final verdict would be for me personally. It is my concern as a Muslim by conversion and a Buddhist by birth, one who has four children from mothers who ancestry are all Catholics. I have Uncles and Aunties who are Hindus and an adopted family who are Christians by faith. It is to honor them that i choose to dwell on this matter if not as a concerned citizen who fears the prospect any religious conflict that can result from such matteres and in this case a word, a name; why only i can use it and not the rest of you (non-Muslims).
I am positive all parties involved in this issue are religious leaders with high calibre of understanding and taken all and every aspect of the issue before they came to a decision and those who may loose their case will feel the injustice of it all. I have my personal commitment to Allah Subahan HuwaTaala, the One God, Al-Lah, to help for a better understanding of this mater for myself as a believer, as one who have accepted Islam as my faith. my commitment to my faith in Him is to share with my friends whoever or wherever they may be, my personal insight, my feelings; I believer Allah would have written it in His Quran on this matter or the Prophet would specify who can who cannot in His Hadiths or perhaps one of the Kalifah of Islam would have a fatwa- edict in this matter as it is a vital issue that threatens to tear apart two families of the same 'Father'; Malaysia does not deserve such a fate as she has evolved to transcend Ignorance, I wish to believe so. We are a Nation of intelligent men and women who are mostly educated in the West or the Middle East, I hope our great minds will find skillful means to come to an amicable end where both of these 'Religions of the Book' will help to promote healthy, creative and spiritually vibrant a society, Lord knows we need it.
I am convinced that intelligent and unprejudiced minds have debated over the issue from both sides and International Religions Councils have been consulted with regard to this matter of God-Allah, yes No! I see it as a matter of how as to a matter of why to answer to approach this issue,; the whys and wherefores are impediments that will help only to irritate and instigate more confusion, the 'How' is more productive and perhaps even creative, how do we find the Right Means to solve the issue without making it a problem that cannot be revoked once set rolling, there is no turning back, it will only ride on our backs into the future generations like a cancerous sore waiting to happen. For me there is no clear cut solution but it is not impossible to come to a happy agreement somewhere in the middle, we will meet halfway in dealing with this issue and aspire to arrive at a better understanding through getting to know one another's understanding and belief systems, gradually and with tediousness a Muslim will have to understand the religious culture of the Malaysian Non-Muslims; Right Understanding- Unbiased by any ethnic or racial sentiments, least of all not by political ideologies and exploitations. Only a man of God can stand and bear witness without any doubts or prejudices, Tawakal lah kamu atas nama Allah (SWT), Have Complete Faith in your Lord's Grace and Judge ye not...Lest ye be Judged. In whatever name shape and form my mind can conjure up my Lord, he is still One and for so long as i maintain this physical form I am manifesting Shirik; for there is me and there is my Lord.
Allah yang Maha Wujud, God is the only existence, the only Force, the only Sustainer, the only silence within the silence when the hearts stop beathing, InnaLillahi wa' Innalillahi Rajiu'n...From The I come to Thee I return, my Lord...I am no more. my life was lived as an experiment as well as a spiritual journey, a Journey to The Lord of Power, I am on my sacred journey towards Your Throne, just like the Tibetans as they knelt and prostrate their way to the Potalla to pay their tribute to the Budhha, I am approaching You in my own way, sometimes on my hands and knees sometimes while i am lost in some arrogance and forgetfulness, but ever step of the way, as i draw in my breath I cal out Your Name... Hu-Allah! and when I let it out I my mind is fixed on You as my sustain er and that at any moment you have the power to stop me on my tracks, ready or not to stand before You and be accounted for. I believe in the day of reckoning, I may not have nay clue as to how it will work out but from what little I have read and been told, it will not be nice for most of us.
What we have in Malaysia is not so much as a Language issue or the right to or no to use the word,(ALLAH), ours is more of an Ethnic and cultural issue, to put most blatantly i it is a matter of the Muslim Malays against the rest of the country. I cannot help feel like there is a sense of weakness in faith the lack of confidence among my fellow Muslims; that we are incapable of upholding our 'Tawakal' in Allah, there is almost a sense of insecurity in our selves as Muslims. We are not allowing for for nature and collective spirit to take its courses but step in and obliterate every rational possibilities that can be generate from this experience; like how do we educate the masses without investing  our own self serving interests. Can our minds be free from all forms, ideas and beliefs systems, from their demands in influences to come to a decision wholeheartedly for the benefit of mankind and his future. The ripples of any decision made today will ripple throughout the centuries ahead, it is sad and ironic that the word itself has become a problem that will cause the schism between two brotrherly religions of the same root and for it to happen in a country that has accepted religious tolerance as the national institution, the word 'Allah' issue, is about to cause yet another rift between Islam and the rest of the Culture Religious whole of our society.
I spent the early afternoon of the Aidil Adha skinning three calves from the six that was slaughtered at the mosque grounds as the Korban ritual was carried out. God wanted Abraham to sacrifice his frst born to Him by slitting his throat and Abraham complied. I was the 'Test of Tests', in one's faith in God. What are you willing to sacrifice for Me? God replaced Abraham's son, Isaac, (according to the Torah and Bible and Ishmael according to the Muslim tradition, with a mountain goat when Abraham was about to make the cut. This small inconsistency in the Judeo Christian and Muslim traditions raise a question in my mind for a long time...the question, which of his sons did Abraham put on the sacrificial altar? I am positive both Judaism and Christianity will have their true version of the historical event just as the Muslims would; it is written in the Quran, in the Lord's own words. But the fact remains till today that the schism happened to lay asunder two biblical religions that would lead into history so much conflicts and killings all in the name of the One Creator; our version is the legitimate version.
Later on during the times of Jesus and Christianity, the Principle of the Triad was introduced which renders God the father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, the one Principle in three forms. The Quran according to Islam refutes such a principle, '' He is not be begotten nor does He begets...Allah is One." Here again another major schism was being rendered to split the religions of the book setting one against another.
Most of what one reads in th Quran is identical to what one reads in the Bible if not the Torah and Zabur, so much so that the two religions of the descendants of Isaac , Judaism and and Christianity accusses the Quran as being a plagiarism of their ancestral history. Islam is the religion of the Arabs and the Prophet (pbuth) was a descendant of Isahmael, Abraham's elder son whose mother was a slave to Abraham. Isaac was born of Abrham's 'real' wife who remained barren until very late in her life when God granted Abrham's plea for a son to his first wife. Hence the question one ask, who would Abraham choose to kill when a choice he was forced to make? To find the truth one has to read! One has to meditate and contemplate and one has to ask for guidance from the One that has all the answers. Whatever answer that is the product og thoughts and speculations is of no significance, one can only accept in faith as to what the books tells us, for they are the words of God; just as the Quran is.
In Islam there is not compromise when it comes to the words of Allah(SWT) in the Quran, hence if the Quran expounds the fact that the prophet Isa Alaii salam did not die on the Cross then he did not die on the Cross not matter historical fat is presented and no matter many traditions belief it so.
Today as these two religions are at a crossroad threatening to further become a conflict in this country, I feel it is my part to make it clear as to how much or how little i understand of the matter.
It is in my limited understanding that the Arabic word 'Allah' means 'The God. Not just any god of antiquity as was present in the times of the Prophet, pagan gods and idols as worshipped by the Desert People but 'The' God of Abraham, the One. Al-Lah. It is also my understanding that the word 'Tuhan' is commonly used generic for Gods of other faiths; it is not and Arabic word rightfully a Malay word. Simmilalrly the word God I doubt existed when jesus was spreading his religion or anytime during the time of Moses or Abraham, it is I f I am not mistaken a word originated from a European root...Goth.  Aramaic was the language of Jesus hence Christianity, Yaweh, Elohim and Jehovah are the words used to address the Lord among many others in the Hebrew/ Christian traditions... but never the word, God. It is ironic that if seen in reflection the word God becomes the word Dog...hardly a word one might want to equate with the word Allah, at least not to the Muslims way of looking at it.
Thus who is right and who is wrong? Is it a matter of right or wrong? Or is it a matter of making and all out effort to come to a Right Understanding of these issues and make the decisions after all has been thoroughly investigated and reconciled; this to me is what our Lord would demand that we do, to bring His religion together in Unity; the 'Merging of All Differences in Unity."

"I respectfully urge you who study the mystery,

光陰莫虚度 do not pass your days and nights in vain."
                                                                            SANDOKAI. - The Merging of Differences in Unity."





       

A trip Around Penang Island with Marissa

My inner Sanctum.
My daughter and i took a drive around the Island yesterday, just to get out of the house and soak in the sunshine, We made a few stops first at the Horse's stable belonging to my friend Muthalif located in the vincinity of the Youth Park here. my daughter made a new friend, an Arabian Stallion by the name of 'Finis'. It was a beautiful process of getting to know one another as i watched my daughter much afraid of the horse and the horse checking her out by sniffing her fingers in the beginning and twenty minutes latter I am trying to drag my daughter away from hugging and kissing the animal.
Our next stop was at the Spice Garden in Batu Beringgi across the street from the sea. It was a good walk through with all kinds of tropical plants and gigantic trees, waterfalls and running brooks that made up the sound of the surrounding. As we alked closer back to the entrance area we could hear the waves rolling on tothe shore giving it a rythm to our senses like the in and out of our breath, the Universal Breath. It was good to be in the prisitne forest like environment and the walk helpedd to bring us closer to our centeredness in nature. The Spice garden would make for a great retreat if you wish to run a meditation workshop.
Further on down the road we stopped by Teluk Bahang and made some enquiries about the nature trails available there but due to time limitations we did not make any trips. I talked to an elderly malay man who was whittling away on a piece of wood to make a knife handle. He told me it was from a kind of local wood called 'Kayu Manis' which is a hard wood and perfect for what he was making. next we stopped at the Teluk Bahang Dam and took some pictures. From there we drove the nex few miles towards Balik Pulau and it was a nice drive as there was hardly any vehicle was on the windy road. My duaghter told me how blessed she felt livng on the island that has so much vegetatin that made it seemed cool in most parts. But the island is trnsforming and in ost case it is not for the better as more and more buildings keep taking up whatever space available to be develoed. Blame it on ecnomics as development in any form spells income for the developpers. Not that we need anymore lodgings but we have to cater to those who can afford and are willing to pay for a piece of the Island calling it their second and third homes; most are foreigners from Singapore and Taiwan, Hong Kong and some European countries. It is a very sad situation for those born and raised here and not having a place of their own with most forced to migrate away to the mainland. The island is being sold a piece a a time and while some laugh their way to the banks others suffer.
Most foreighners I nkow of here have even become more arrogant and possesive than the locals themselves making it their right to spread money and demand respect by hook or by crook Employing locals whose connections and knowledge holds sawy in the community these new breed of 'Robber Barons,' are displacing lives and disrupting the integration of local communities by divisivenss. For so long as there is a rift in society between the different racial groups there is a weakness to be exploited at all levels. Here particularly in Georgetown it is the Chinese who hold sway selling out whatever is saleable, land, homes, businesses, you name it. Today there is emerging a different kind of colonialism, it is called occupation by investment. Money talks and bullshit walks! If you are smart and savay with the politics of the day you may find a niche to make yourself a fortune and live to brag about your successes to your grandchildren; how you sold out what was not rightfully yours to begin with. How you help to create paradise for those who are bored stiff with their own homes back where they came from and how you sold your souls a the expense of those who really and trully were the indegienous of this Island State.
Like a silent Tsunami, ther is very little the poor and displaced Penangites can do about it but just struggle on to survive day in day out hoping to die before it gets too tought too live. Those who have made it and are enjoying their well earned retirement have little to say or simply play ignorance as they dwell happily in their well earned comfort zone waiting for theri departure, but for those whose livlihood is greatly affected by these so called rapid development, it seems their days are numbered. Like the Malay community of fishermen living off the Jelutung Highway, they continue to keep on building out into the sea, living like pariahs in their own state. For months now there is no water supply to these off shore impermanent strutures where those livng here has to haul from nearby residential areas. It is the fate of the Malays to live in the shadow of the other races here and will come a time when they will become if not already, gardeners and drivers to their Chinese Bosses who in turn are drivers and gardeners to the rich foreigners. Ther is not sense of pride anymore especially among those who had all the good intentions of making this Island a home for all its citizens before anyone else, there is only taking care of the business of making money any which way they can. Like a slowly rotting apple this Island of my borth will end up beng a Tourist Paradise but a hell to live in for my fellow Penangites.
I hope and pray that all those who have taken advantage through their wealth to occupy a piece of this island property to reflect upon at what cost to the locals. I would welcome you here but I would rather you not claim what is is not yours by simply being able to dish out your wealth and take what you can; it is like visitng a beautiful garden and wanting to own it too. Please consider what the remifications of your insatiable demands have on the people of this state; there is little or no trickling of wealth as you might think! Yes, the rich get filthier and richer and the poor well...fuckem! If you are men and women of integrity and compassion I say wake up and tell yourself enough in enough, do not get swindled by those who make the promises for your entertainment gauranteed while they find ways and means to fulfill your desires at other's expense. If you come here to do businees be sure to spread the wealth you make and not join the greedy train of making more than you need and going home to your own friends and families to brag about how well you did or how easily the locals were taken for a ride. What goes around will come around as promised.
I am not anti-development but i abhor waste and displacement of the lives of those who have no means to fight for their rights. I feel colonialism is very much alive here and it is ironcally true that this has been recognized as a World Heritage City (Georgetown) but when you there is three times more vehicles than residents there is something definitely wrong no matter how one looks at it. When old colonial era buildings are being renovated and whitwashed, they reminds me of mausoleums reminding me of the colonial power that had syphone this countries' wealth in history. it is not the locals who benefit not evn the common laborer as most of these construction jobs are done by foreigners from poorer countries at a much lower rate of income. The local man has been sidelined while the wealth pours into the hands of the few who are out to make hay while the sun is till shining.
And you wonder why crime and violence is on the rise and why corruption is here to stay, when wealth and welfare of the society is being pandered to the highest bidder.
Our drive around the Island took my daughter and I to my niece's house n Balik Pulau where we hung out with my grand nieces. The house relatively new is buitl out into the ricefield and the single dirt road that connects it to the main road is being threatend to be engulfed by the jungle. Such Is, I rest my case.       

Rambling into the Past to Understand the Now.



 Welcome to the Landscape of my soul.
Far deep within the heart of hearts sits the Hall of the Devine Light, deeper within is the Devine Spark,  the Source, the Zat, the Essence, that which is the Core of your energy, your wisdom, your humanity, it belongs to the One of all sources, the Lord of Creation; call Him by what name you may, but accept that It is only the One. This I realized this morning after having filled up my gas and adding air to one of my Kancil tyres which is threatening to give up on me. Driving here was in itself an adventure as always but i breathed in and out like i always do and stuck to my most familiar track just to get where i am going with no theatrics involved. My daughter is lying in bed no feeling very well, more like love sick if you ask me, refuses to go to the clinic,not that i blame her as getting there in itself can make you sick. It is what the doctor ordered for her if she notices it, lay back take it easy and be lazy, you have earned it, you need the rest after your last semester. Be at home, be with your dad and your brother, do as thou will.
We are all made up primarily of the four elements of Earth, Wind Water and Fire, any child can tell you that today, this is our physical form and the scientist will take you all the way to the sub -particle energy level to prove that we are all made of the same substance and is all held together by the laws of gravity, not knowing this fact will not qualify you to be among your fellow man who have taken the trouble to. The most basic understanding of our human origin is the first Law of humanity...Know Thyself! This is the fifth element that is the CEO of our individual enterprise; the human form.
With the Right Understanding of who you truly are will stop man from taking life for granted that have led to making the price of a man one bullet each. It does not really matter anymore under what flag or banner we hide, nor does it matter if we can obliterate a village by sending a drone alone, mankind is doom to ignorance unless we become enlightened and spread the light of wisdom throughout no matter how insignificant or minuscule it may be, a positive energy sent out via Devinne wisdom is like and atom sent randomly into outer space to collide with worlds; this is our Consciousness. We have this energy within us we are all a part of the Whole source of this energy; this energy is anti -gravity, anti -matter. It attracts all thoughts and forms to itself creating around it the human form of you and me.
Today no source of knowledge is more potent than the National Geographic and the Discovery Channels,  from the villagers in the Ulu Terengganu areas to the Wall street savants, every man women and child learns through watching these channels, this, the source of our Collective Knowledge No politics, no hidden agendas, no desire to influence or dominate, subjugate or infiltrate, just pure knowledge a documentation of humanity and the relationship we have with the planet.
We have to make all effort towards not serving the symbols but to practice what they secret they try to impart to us. These symbols and Logos are just a part of the tool not the machine itself. Transcending symbols and ideas, forms and mind created belief systems with skillfulness and right understanding is the second Law of Humanity. " If you see the Buddha on the road, Kill Him!" Without attachment to any forms or symbols, any thoughts or philosophy, the mind is clear to become another conduit for the inseminating of knowledge, sharing ideas, sharing intuitions, sharing satori, sharing that space which becomes available when the mind is quiet and as my good friend David Lueck of the San Francisco Zen Center used to say, "Make available that small space within your heart for somelse to seek shelter in; this is Compassion."
The Lord said to Abraham, "Kill me a son!"
Abe said "No"
God said "What?!! Then when you see Me coming you better run!"
Some people say Abraham attempted to slit his first born son Ismael's throat, but some claim he did it to Jacob; I am not sure who Abraham decided to kill then, his son with a slave or his son with his Jewish wife who was barren most of life and had Jacob after Ismael was born; please correct my Biblical understanding  in this story of the 'Sacrifice". Which version of the Three Holy scriptures of the Judeo Christian and Islamic Holy Books do we refer to in this matter? Bear in mind that the tribes of Ismael later become the Arabs and Muslims and that of Isac became the Judeo -Christian tribes. But for the twist of a story religion has become split up and what is worse they end up tearing at each other's throat all in the name of their One true God!
Some say that Jesus died being crucified but the others say No, the Lord save Jesus from being crucified on the cross. The rest are details which anyone interest should look up the Internet. The Koran Vs the Bible on the Crucifixion of Jesus Christ. Don't take any one's words for it but do your own reading and come to you own personal conclusion on what you fell is the truth; there is no truth, there is only that which Is.
In Myanmar and in Southern Thailand on the Malaysian border, the Buddhists and the Muslims are raising the death tolls amongst themselves. Sadly enough the issues are never anything to do with the religions but religions become the issue; it is them against us! Either them or us! It is not a matter of greed anymore nor is it because of Hate, this is Pure Ignorance. This is the network of consciousness, our strong interconnectedness, our collective relationship, our interdependent upon one another for our needs as we live out our personal lifespans. How can we be happy at the expense of one soul left crying out in sorrow and pain in this Universe? How can one even begin to think in this manner if one's life is as valuable as a piece of bullet? How can those who wield the weapons be compassionate in nature when ignorant of the First Commandment: Thou Shalt Not Kill! When you walk, the Buddha said, cast your glances down before you, you might step on and ant crossing your path and cause yourself another lifetime as an ant; new Karmic consequence. The First law Manu, The first Law of Moses and the Ten Commandments...God's first utters to mankind through His physical form. (Sound). This was Yahweh or Jehovah that had laid down these laws and engraved into the stone, this was the voice of Allah as He inducted Moses into the Realm of the Prophets, an ultimate initiation of Man transforming him into the Devine consciousness. Moses came down from Mount Sainai  transformed, physically, mentally and spiritually to the highest degree of any human transformation, he became the Alpha!
Moses as a man was no ordinary man, like the Buddha, he too was raised among the Royal family of the Pharoahs in Egypt, he was instrumental in running the country and a Master Builder and Architect of Ancient Egypt. Moses's bloodline was a descendant of Isaac and this line evolves to become what we have today; Jews and Muslims blowing up each other's homes and families disrupting all the faith that we have in the First Commandment of the Lord's; Thou Shalt Not Kill! Moses was transformed but humanity remained ignorant, the Buddha taught by allegories to tell us why we must not kill simply to emphasize the ramifications of Karmic consequences...do unto others and you can count of the pay back...the law of cause and effect. How do we step out of this being subject to these laws? How do we stop playing the game? How do we not get sucked into the reality of the game, how do we not become ignorant and blind in this life and expect to be lifted to be among the angels in heaven in our after life?  Faith, is that which means simply acceptance, surrendering, not struggling against anymore but flowing along with the Whole, the All...The One. When we have been able to cease from being attached to identifying with the forms, the symbols, we are still dancing in this realm of Maya, filled with illusions, ignorance and sufferings.

Avadhuta Gita
Translated by Hari Prasad Shastri
E-Text Source: Advaita Vedanta Library
Chapter I
1. By the grace of God the Brahmins above all men are inspired with the disposition to non-duality (unity of the Self with God), which relieves them of the great fear.
2. How can I salute the Self, which is indestructible, which is all Bliss, which in Itself and by Itself pervades everything, and which is inseparable from Itself?
3. I alone am, ever free from all taint. The world exists like a mirage within me. To whom shall I bow?
4. Verily the one Self is all, free from differentiation and non-differentiation. Neither can it be said, "It is" nor "It is not." What a great mystery.
5. This is the whole substance of Vedanta; this is the essence of all knowledge, theoretical and intuitional. I am the Atman, by nature impersonal and all-pervasive.
6. That God who is the Self in all, impersonal and changeless, like unto space, by nature purity itself,verily, verily, that I am.
7. I am pure knowledge, imperishable, infinite. I know neither joy nor pain; whom can they touch?
8. The actions of the mind, good and evil, the actions of the body, good and evil, the actions of the voice, good and evil, exist not in me (Atman). I am the nectar which is knowledge absolute; beyond the range of the senses I am.
9. The mind is as space, embracing all. I am beyond mind. In Reality the mind has no independent existence.
10. How can it be said that the Self is manifest? How can it be said that the self is limited? I alone am existence; all this objective world am I. More subtle than space itself am I."

How can there be two? and When I am no more...




  

Meeting great Minds ,

                                                   I was a little monkey wondering what is going on, where would my life lead me and how would it be after all is said and done..
My introduction into the Sufi tradition through my Teacher and Friend the lat Cik Gu Yusif Ali was an eye opener and a corner stone in my life in the spiritual sense. Our long conversations into the early morning hours by the Food Court on Perak Road facing the City Stadium led  me into the deeper realms of the religion of Islam. I was allowed to raise my doubts and shared my inner feelings towards thoughts and ideas about beliefs and faith without being frowned upon eyebrows raised and I found some answers that was acceptable by my limited mind. Cik Gu's daughter Ayu or nani Rohayu works for Bernama is a reporter living in New York at the present moment Through her strong and endeavouring personality she is able to run her own Malaysian Restaurant in Queens New York called Mamak's Place. From the Face Book articles she has been uploading it looks like she is doing very well for herself. She has Cikgu Yusof's passion in life.
I was introduced the great works of the Muslim Sufi Saints like The great Sheikh Kadir Al Jilani whose Sufi experiences were recorded and has become one of the most studied works in the Muslim world; I made him my spiritual guide. His thoughts, his practices, his Way became my focal point at the time and one of his greatest works is called The Secret of Secrets. From these thoughts i became acquainted with the understanding of who I am or more precisely where i have arrive at in my spiritual journey. I became a practicng Muslim day and nights sitting in deep meditation with Zikhrullah or the invocation of the 99 Beautiful Names of Allah (attributes). I had many deep reflections upon my relationship to Allah and I received knowledge from many different sources that I had not realized were out there written by great minds like the Turki teacher Ahmad Hulusi whose thoughts and ideas takes Islam into a whole new realm of understanding at least for me. Hulusi uses the term Muhammad's Allahn not just any Allah as understood by the Muslim masses around the world but specifically Muhammad's Allah; I like the idea.
It is all to be found on the Internet if one is so incline to reach out and expand the knowledge of one's spiritual self in relation to the Whole...the All... the One. The search for a Universal Consciousness begins right where I am at and this is the moment that this Collective Spirit is manifesting itself through my individual mind via my fingertips tapping on to the keyboard; Consciousness expanding collectively. I stop my apologizing for the way I am making these bombastic statements like I know everything, but at the present moment in time I am merely reflecting what transpires through my mind and the wish to share it with my readers. Anything and everything I can mention on the subject has  been and will continue on to be told in one form or another but it is my intention to share my personal journey as I journey towards the 'Lord of Power' as Ibni Arabi or Averroes the Andalusian once wrote. The journey takes a lifetime and layers of veils to be removed before one approaches the citadel of the Lord or the Arsh of Allah. My effort is the the process of shedding my mind generated knowledge through the undertansding of my state or position or station in life, how near or how far I am from my journey's end. In the process thus far too have gone through many forms of metamorphosis, physically, mentally, emotionally and last but not least ,spiritually; I have evolved.
I have learned to get less side tracked by 'rroadside attractions' and getting shoved off the path by the unpredictability of life. Rich poor, starving or gluttoned out, I am learning to not take it too personally with the aid of the matra: and this too will pass...or by the reminder of J.Krishnamurti's secret to life...I do not mind what happens. It is not as simple as it sounds but bit by bit little by little and breath by breath I have learned to assimilate these teachings into my daily practice in life. But as i still am riding the Sunryu Suzuki Roshi's Zen train, I am still searching for 'that buffalo'. I ams till working on the question posted by my Rinzai Zen Roshi Dennis or Junpo Kelly at the Kanzeon ZenYoga center in Corte Madeira, California; What is the Imperturbable Mind!! JUnpo Kelly is the Abbot of the Hollow Bones Zen Center in the United States, a Zen community he had founded. (look him up, what a character!)

Health Update on Junpo
Monday, July 15, 2013

Dear Sangha,
On Friday, July 12th, Roshi had a small stent placed in one of his coronary arteries due to a 75% blockage. The artery is the LAD and is one of the major blood suppliers to the heart muscle. This artery, unfortunately, is also known as “The Widow Maker.” He is doing wonderfully now and although a bit fatigued, feels great.
From the Mondo Zen

I have written about my brief encounter with Dennis Kelly some where earlier in the Blogging and if one is interested to know more of the man just Google Hollow Bones Zen. Dennis opened the world of Zen Buddhism to me by setting in motion events that had significant impacts in my life while living in the San Francisco and Mairn County area of California sometime in 1983. It was his choice of opening a Zendo on the West Coast insatead of the Eastcoast that ook me to California and my whole life was changed I took a leap off the lilly pad into the pond of Zen Buddhism; and I dove to the bottom where it took me to the mountains of the Big Sur, Monterey, California where i did saveral Sesshins or seven days sitting meditation at the Zen Mountain Center later on. Circustances and events in my life has buffetted my from one phase onto the next in my journey most of which I had no control over nor were they preplanned.
My life spent at the San Francisco Zen Center, specifcally at the Green Dragon, or Green Gulch Farm Zen Community was another critical turning point  on my journey of self discovery. Here I met some of the greatest minds each and everyone on their own journeys of healing their own splintered souls. Poets, writers, healers, lawyers and doctors among them those who heeded the call for a retreat from the Rat Race life back then. I feasted upon all the available texts and Buddhist scriptures made available at the Center and sat and discussed before great men like the Revrand Thich Naht Hahn, the small Vietnamese Monk who did the 'Freedom March in Washingto DC alongside Dc. Martin Luther King. Tay as he was fondly called elected me his 'Bell master' during his lectures as punishment for my dispruptive tnedencies like ringing the Big Boncho bell during a Vipassan meditation retreat was in progress inside the Zendo or Meditaiton Hall.
 One of my practice instructor was Edward Espe Brown the Tassajjara Cook Book author and Greens Restaurant Chef in San Francisco. Ed taught a fe of us the song Ruddy Toot Toot to the Moon which I used in my Blogging profile. He did this one evening while we were walking towards the Pelican Inn located at Muir Beach for a few drinks. We were jumoing the fence as the Zen school would call it and it usually happens after a Seshin. Ed Brown settled my predicanment of being a Muslim and bowing to a wooden ideol on the Zendo Altar. During  one of our Mondo Talks or the student teacher one on one hash it out  sessions, he said to me, " It is all illusions, if you think you are bowing to something then you are, if not then there nothing you are bowint to, but to join a club you have to abide by the rules and rituals; the price you pay for knowledge."
Another great mind I encountered whil at the Zen Center was the late Abbot of the Minnesotta Zen center, the late Dainin Katagiri Roshi.
Jikai Dainin Katagiri, aka Hojo-san Katagiri, was a Sōtō Zen roshi and the founding abbot of Minnesota Zen Meditation Center in Minneapolis, Minnesota, where he served from 1972 until his death from cancer in 1990. I had many sittings with the Roshi and on one of our face to face meetings he told me, " You must always remember your original intention, why are you here? And just continue as you are."
I am writing and will continue on writing because I feel blessed to have met and sat with these great men and many more along the road and what they had imparted to me in the forms of advice and lessons, in the forms of chastisements and rebukes, I will always cherish as markers, cornerstones and duide posts on the map of my journey in this life; they too brought me here. I am indebted to these people and events in my life to share what is worth sharing from the expereinces, and in doing so it helps me to continue on researching my life and sieve through the layers of changes that i had gone through to get to where I am on this spiritual journey. It is my hope that if by chance i am able to inspire one or two my children through this dicourse, I have done my share towards the propagtion of knowledge in this age of information in its spiritual form; one man's experiment with faith and religions.