Rambling on....

One of my intentions in creating this Blog sometime in 2005? was to improve on my writingskills I dare not even say to become a writer and till this day I ams till trying to polish up on my delivery. I wish to, write a fiction one day and have even started on a few occasion somewhere in this Blog but gave up for lack of who knows what, perhaps i lack the skill of J.R.Tolkien, one of my favorite writers. It is not that I lack imaginations but I tend to mix up myself after a while the difference between fiction and reality and never seems to be able to connect the dots to make any progress. It is not like I lack things to write about especially based on my lifelong experience of which I am proud to say I have an ample amount of tales to pick from. I have watched enough movies and mini series to last three incarnations and by right I should be good at weaving a yarn or two by not, but no such luck. So here I am day in day out making this Blog postings of mundane and insignificant episodes of my uneventful daily existence with the hope that something would snap and I can write a novel or two before I kick the bucket.

A pipe dream? Perhaps. Then again did they not say that life itself is a dream that you never wake up from until it becomes a nightmare and leaves you gasping for breath before you realize that you were dreaming. It is tragic for many that they do not realize it even after the nightmare had passed, it all becomes a reality that they identify with as part of their personal existence. The whole of the physical realm is Maya or mind created phenomena and life is Lila or a play of hide and seek whereby the highest consciousness or Divine Consciousness indulge in its own self discovery. I am making an effort to reiterate the teachings of Advaita Vedanta primarily which exerts that we are all Brahman or the Supreme Reality as expounded in the Hindu Vedic Texts. I am not very well versed in the deeper thoughts of this Hindu texts, however i have been listening to many great Hindu Masters expounding these teachings throughout my adult life and am now beginning to feel the impact of its essence into my being. "I am the master of my Thughts an Consciousness ," has been one of my 'Mantras' that i keep repeating to myself ever since i came across the teaching of Swami Vivekanada on Raja Yoga. I had taken a small green hardcover copy of the Swami's teachings with me as my companion reading when I was travelling to Aalaska and the essence of the teachings had stuck with  me till this day.   

In the beginning these professions had become a conflict in my mind as I am a Muslim having been converted to Islam at the age of twelve. I , however persisted in reciting the mantra as a practice when i sit in meditation or before i go to sleep and upon waking up. It slowly became a part of my self affirmation as I grow into matured adulthood and the feeling of guilt that i may be transgressing the teaching of Islam dissipated as I began to understand the significance and power of this affirmation. It has infused into my consciouness the realization that I am not who or what I think I am and  helped to remove the ignorance that I am not much more than just an entity with a consciousness. It has opened my mind to higher and far greater recognition that I am indeed that master of my own destiny, that I am not at the mercy of existence but a captain of my own ship as i sail through this ocean of existence. My thoughts and consciousness are my tools of expression, the manifestation of my essence my primordial being, that which was and is my Buddha Nature as the Buddha expounded in His teachings. 

Throughout my Blog I have time and again mentioned this practice of 'self affirmation as a reminder especially when self doubts and confusion overwhelms me. The practice has helped to remove myself from getting trapped into the feeling of being at the mercy of 'fate', or external circumstances; I am the master and not the slave to my thoughts and emotions. I am the master of my body, speech and mind and these too are my tools and vehicle of my self expression in this life and as such it is my duty to keep them in good working condition throughout my life. Even in my moments of forgetfulness I am still being reminded of my status as I sit and ponder upon these teachings and the strength of their significance would uplift my being from doubts and despair; I am reminded of who or what I truly am, Tat Tvam Asi, I Am that, I Am.