I walked into Islam through The Buddha's Teachings.

In this days and age everything is creeping out of the woodwork and all feeding our human minds with never ending mysteries and facts all mixed up till there is not much difference anymore between the two. Conspiracy theories abounds from all sources leading us to believe in the coming of the Anti Christ and the New World Order. How we have been hood winked into believing the Osama Ben Ladin and his Al Qaeda network was responsible for the flattening of the World trade centers and that George Bush was and now Barak Obama is acting under the directions of the Iluminati if not Aliens. We are exposed to demons and possessions and the  most horrifying truth about human trafficking and child prostitution, about the drug cartel and the power that is in the hands of those who would unscrupulously have have human sacrifices  if need be in order to have a good hold on their place of authority and power. Lies, scandals and exploitations, corruptions and is the norm in government agencies everywhere on the planet and it seems like hell and chaos is lurking around the corner and nothing is sacred anymore, not even children's school exams!
So, what gives? What is going on? What's the scam that we are all facing? Why are we bound and determined to self exterminate, have we not enough, what is lacking? It gives one a tremendous migraine whenever one allows for the mind to run free like this with questions like atoms hitting back and forth all over our skull trying to split it. The there are your personal petty issues that seems like a never ending Grimms Fairy tales, or horror about paying the rent and how to get money to get your daughter back home now that she has completed her college and how does one tell the 22 year old that he has to clean his own room or do his own laundry. or how do you try to explain the the son who thinks you are a useless father simply because you cannot solve a problem according to his liking and that you have done the best and you realize your best is never good enough. How do you tell this child of yours that hit happens and sometimes for the best and not all the time for the worse. How do you explain to your son that you really have no clue as to why he is so pissed off at you that he cuts you off totally from even saying hello. Yes and more than this how do you tell yourself that you are not young anymore and the very idea of giving it all up and disappearing into the wild for good is getting to become a thing of the past; there is no escape!
These are only my delusions, my mind going at warp speed  as it is being triggered by lengthy meditation sittings and this is a part of meditation that is often overlooked by practitioners. The fact that there a repercussions as a by product of meditation like a case of withdrawal. The mind resist to the max and will throw in anything and everything into the pot so that you are fully occupied with incessant thinking, sometimes of things that makes no sense head or tails.If you are not fully aware of this you will drift into great depression or even despair and the world is such a terrible place to live and you are a victim of every circumstances and most of all you feel small and insignificant. But you persist, you continue on sitting and face whatever arises and even when you feel the senselessness of it all you still sit, not giving up.and finally when you feel like you can take it no more, that it was all a joke on you, it happens. Out of it all creeps in calmness and peace, and you hardly notice it in the beginning, Then you find yourself drifting in tranquility, your mind has subsided and all that vexations that has been hammering at your brain is gone left only with positive energy, with great words like Peace, Love and Compassion and how you can work things out to the best of your ability and everything is really so simple; poof! migraine gone and you feel light.
My digressions into these mood swings is perhaps because i am practicing alone and without any special guidance or  at the very least someone o talk to to confide with, someone to remind me that I am doing a heavy duty practice and had given up my years of cigarette smoking among other things like my occasional pot smoking and beer drinking and the fact that i have practically be a celibate for the past twenty years of my life. Sometimes it is good to remind oneself of these things just so we can keep things in perspective. If i choose to become a Buddhist i can safely say that i can wear the robes of the mendicant monk and have earned it. As i am a Muslim I maintain a standard practice of taking refuge only in the All Mighty Allah, Lord of the Worlds, Lord of Creation and the rest of it. I am blessed to have been the Buddha's student for i learned  a whole lot about myself from having learn about Buddhism and its Ways. it was the religion i was born and raised with till I was twelve years old before i was converted to Islam and it was the religion of my forefathers before they were converted to Islam. Hence i have no qualms or fears of being dubbed shirik (apostate?) by the Muslims. My Islam comes from my heart through self discovery and not that of being born and raised a Muslim. I walked into Islam through the back door unlike my brothers and sisters. I accepted Islam when I was good and ready, not before and i still am working at becoming a good Muslim.