Rambling over something bugging me...

                                      Anyone and everyone is a Bodhisattva, you have to find it.

He who writes does not know, He who knows does not write., but what the heck!

 Who or what is a Bodhisattva? I have talked to myself so much about it the past and even take a what is known as 'The Bodhisattva Vows' when I was a Zen student at Green Gulch , Green Dragon Temple located in Marin County, California where I spent almost two years and was finally booted out of the place for being a 'Disruptor!" and I was, in more than one ways. I can make a few clicks and Wikipedia would help me out making sure I am giving an accurate rendition of who or what a Bodhisattva is, I have done that many times before somewhere in this lengthy Blog. This morning the question surface out of the blue and remained with me all morning while I made my coffee and watered the plants, hung the laundry and swept the house, reheat yesterday's lamb soup, cleaned the kitchen and emptied the garbage, I might gave missed a thing or two, but they will be taken care of in due time. While all these was happening in the physical realm, the question persisted in the mental realm and so I decided this it is what I will write about in my Blog this morning; my perception of what or who is a Bodhisattva.

A Bodhisattva is a Buddhist perception of one who has approached the 'Gateless Gates' of Freedom from Suffering to be dissolved into the emptiness of the void beyond being a Buddha, it is called attaining the state of Pari Nirvana, a Perfect and Complete state of Being that is Pure Consciousness Itself, or the state of dissolving of consciousness like the Gautama the Buddha of our History or The Historical Buddha. Gautama the Prince attained Liberation after years of ascetism and luminous studies of the human mind and its strength and weaknesses and discovered that this existence is all an illusion and that Suffering Is but None who suffers. He had an awakening when He realized that He was Empty even of His Own Being; when there is no 'I', there is no suffering. There i have spelled out in my own perception of who or what the Buddha is and what he Realized to become Enlightened. Off course then again, the Devil is in the details and it is up to each and anyone to discover this for him/her self to become a Buddha, free from suffering. It is said that once a Buddha,{we are all potential Buddhas}, attained to Complete and Perfect Enlightenment and take the one step beyond into what is known as the Pari Nirvana, there is no turning back. It is said that it was at this stage that the Historical Buddha was approached and urged to return for the last time to this illusory world as a Bodhisattva and remove the darkness that was threatening to engulf the religion of His forefathers, Hinduism. Shakyamuni Buddha returned as a Bodhisattva, Gautam the Buddha, who was the son of a great king, born as Prince Siddhartha Gautama who was destined to become "The World and Time Honored One, Shakya Muni Buddha of the Nirmanakaya Loka. This whole perception just popped out of my head and so is subject to scrutiny and I will stand corrected for any error.

                                      An Artist is a Bodhisattva who shares through Creativity.

The Historical Buddha was/is not a God nor is He to be worshipped, He was a 'Devine Teacher.' An awakened and liberated Being who undertook a spiritual quest for humanity out of the feeling of compassion. Who was urged to return and save Humanity who were the verge of being overcome by darkness and Chaos through the influence of greed, hate and ignorance; he returned as a teacher of mankind. Shakyamuni Buddha was the Boddhisatva of Infinite Compassion and Light of Wisdom and Impeccable Practice {Sadhana}. Through His presence and Teachings the Buddha led a good number of men, women and children out of the state depravity and corruption as was being imposed upon the Hinduism by the Priests and the Rulers. Hinduism was being taken for a ride and the ignorant masses were victimized. It was in answer to their cries for a savior that the Gods and Deities of the Hindu Pantheon, like Indra, Brahma and Vishnu in whose names the atrocities were perpetrated, made the Collective and through Lord Indra they pleaded for the Buddha to intercede on their behalf and save the suffering masses and with reluctance it was said, the Buddha accepted the task and returned as a Bodhisattva. To those who are interested in Buddhism this is a great study starting with the study of 'The Seven Buddhas Before Buddha', yes, there were seven Buddhas before the Historical Buddha and one after;  the future Maitreya Buddha . 

We are all Buddhas and Bodhisattvas if and when we come to a realization who we truly are beyond the name and masks we wear, the level of education and roles we play, beyond the good and bad the right and wrong our ignorant interpretations of how we experience the life around us while we are still alive. How often do we ask, what is the purpose of my life of being here on this planet and the answer i often give is, I am a Bodhisattva, I sent here to serve and save the suffering and I am a very busy man as life today sucks! Wake up! Look around you! How can you sit on your ass and make believe that all is well! Yes you can if you are an awakened one or a Buddha, but you are not and you are too lazy and ignorant to make the effort to understand even why you eat sleep and shit for no apparent reason and then you die! If you are not passionate about living death is a waste of time on you. An artist, a carpenter or a fisherman, a tennis player or a scuba diver, a farmer a preacher; we are all Bodhisattvas on a mission to serve this planet and the humanity it holds.

So Wake Up! Stay Awake! Don't be fooled!  

How can a man of servitude be bored, there's so much to do, to learn to see to experience to share. Someday someone from your past may step up and ask, what legacy have you left behind you that is worth noting? How will did you serve in your capacity of a Bodhisattva, a Healer a protector, a servant of the Lord fulfilling his covenant as a man and his Maker. I will do my best to accept my role conscious or unconsciously,: I will become a Bodhisattva like Manjushri, Avalokiteshvara, or Samanthabadra Bodhisattvas Mahasattvas. I will practice as diligently as Milarepa and Ibn.Arabi and I will take my stand, my Dharma position as a Muslim on the Path of Islam, Surrender, Submission to the Will of the One, the Whole, the Complete,  Allah swt. Lord of Creations. Yes I am Rambling about things beyond my pay scale! Perhaps along the way I met too many great teachers whose sharing and advice have etched into my mind and shelved in the subconscious somewhere, these individuals from my Grand Parents, my Aunts and Uncles, my childhood friends friends and school mates, they were my teachers, just as Junpo Dennis Kelly , Dainin Katgiri Roshi and Thich Naht Hanh and my personal friends Paul Discoe and Ed Brown, my Zen Teachers. For those curious enought you can Google these Names and you might find some interesting characters and interesting stories in them. 

Today Palestine and especially Gaza needs Bodhisattvas, Lebanon, Syria, Yeman, Sudan, Afghan, and many more, they all need numerous, countless Bodhisattvas. Those fallen while in the service we hail as Martyrs and Heroes and we step forward to take their place. Humanity needs to be healed and the healers are the Bodhisattvas, they are the Medics and Doctors, they are the food and health people who feed and care for the sick, these are Bodhisattvas, they deserve our prayer and collective consciousness shine upon them as a source of protective and healing energy. We cannot turn our backs on them, especially not if we are  avowed Bodhisattvas. We who have awakened to our true nature, we will do our part in the healing and protection of all beings in the six realms and ten directions, of past present and future be left suffering in this Universe. Can you hear the scared voice of a child coming out of the rubbles in the street of Gaza? Listen! Become Aware, let the Light of your Love penetrate into the depth of the rubbles and give comfort to the child till she sleeps forever or be saved. Being totally oblivious to the suffering going on in Gaza is not an option to a Bodhisattva and the least he/she can do is to pray or simply surrender with acceptance of the inevitable an act Divinity beyond the scope of man; like why do man like to kill?

         

Al - Fatiha ...my Journey Home Begins

                                   My childhood friend has left to be with his ancestors. Al-Fatiha!

 There is no doubt that all is illusion! All that is manifesting externally and all that is thought out from within is an illusion within illusion and nothing is real as all is ephemeral and transitory and permanent or eternal, especially not that which is manifesting this ideas in the form of this Blogging. As such nothing i have shared here thus far far, all these thoughts and ideas, dreams and imaginations, nothing is real nothing is worth taking as truths; let it all go. Remove all these manifestations these impressions these images and sensory perceptions the product mental formations from your consciousness for they are all baggage that can be and must be discarded for they only weigh you down and impede your route towards enlightenment or awakening. Become empty, become free from become steadfast in your pursuit of the single, the One, the Truth that is the Creator of all, the Manifester of all the Lord to Whom you belong and to whom you shall return; hold this to be he Truth and the whole Truth; surrender to this as the final and eternal Truth for this is in essence who you are. 

La'illahaillalah, no God, only Allah and Muhammad is His messenger.

                                     My cousin Ashraf, Raymond Montford reciting the doa.

As a Muslim this is the truth that i live by and will die with this as my Truth and only Truth. I have wandered through practically all the religions and spiritual practices that is being manifested in this life of mine, born of a Muslim parent, raised as a Buddhist from birth till the age of 12, converted o Islam as a teenager and later studied just about every other faith and religions, I have drifted spiritually seeking for the Truth and now after more than 75 years I have come to realize that the Truth lies within me in the form of my Mother's Faith in Islam. On this morning at 4:30 to be precise I again confess that my faith in the Lord, Allah SubhanahuwaTaala. The Lord of Creations. This i announce to all my children that they will understand where i stand in my faith before i die and what they choose to do or be is up to them for there is no coercion in religion; there is only he sharing of the truth through life's experience, through trials and tribulations through tests and experiments, through the completion of a journey towards the Seat of the All Mighty and All Powerful Lord of the Universe. Tis Blog has taken me through the ups and down, the highways and byways of life from the highest lofty state of consciousness to the depth of depravity and as a final conclusion I have arrived at what I have quested for; I find my faith in Allah and I surrender before His Throne and Mercy for He is the Lord of Compassion. 

Karim my son saying Ameen!

I am glad to be able to say to myself that I have arrived at this juncture and conclusion not out of fear of facing my immanent death but through having put myself through the wringer of faith and religious rigmarole. It never occurred to me before that I would be able to gladly accept my faith as a Muslim with gladness in my heart despite my past negative encounters with the religion especially in my childhood years. Now i feel that I have finally been able to bury all my anger, my trials and tribulations my dark nights of the soul and embrace Islam with open heart and complete joy; now i am ready to learn how to become a good Muslim. May Allah awj. free my heart and allow me to enter His Grace and Mercy, may He open all the doors towards my getting to  know Him through the remaining years of my life such that I can embrace the religion with full commitment and complete dedication and passion. I surrender my  heart, my soul and my Spirit at His feet in supplication and I etch upon each and every cell in my body with His Tawhid...Ameen. 

Al-Fatiha (Arabic: ٱلۡفَاتِحَةِ, romanized: al-Fātiḥa, lit. 'the Opening') is the first chapter (sura) of the Quran. It consists of seven verses (ayat) which consist of a prayer for guidance and mercy.^[1]

Al-Fatiha is recited in Muslim obligatory and voluntary prayers, known as salah. The primary literal meaning of the expression "Al-Fatiha" is "The Opener/The Key". - Wikipedia

The name Al-Fatiha ("the Opener") could refer to the surah being the first in the Mus'hafs, the first to be recited in each rakat of salah, or to the manner of its usage in many Islamic traditions as an opening prayer. The word itself comes from the root f-t-ḥ (‏ف ت ح‎), which means "to open, explain, disclose, conquer", etc.^[3][4] Al-Fatiha is also known by several other names, such as Al-Hamd (The Praise), As-Salah (The Prayer), Umm al-Kitab (Mother of the Book), Umm al-Quran (Mother of the Quran),^[5][1] Sab'a min al-Mathani (Seven Repeated Ones, from Quran 15:87),^[6] and Ash-Shifa' (The Cure).^[7][8]

My journey officially begins here, the journey of a thousand steps begins with, Bismillahir RahmannirRahim.  

                                        Doa at the gravesite, Let me Pray before I am prayed for.

What went wrong with us?

 Yeah WW3 and it might just happen in my time what a bummer for my children and am I glad they do not have any of their own yet or all will be food and fodder for the war mongers and their war machines like ; Yipppee Ka  AAA, Mother Fucker! Have you learned how to eat dirt like the people of Gaza yet? Well start getting used to it as your time is not too far off if things keep escalating the way it is going the pissing game is fast picking up it pace and and whose dick is longer is already written in the sand! If the headlines does not wake you up from your slumber of denial, if you still have your heads buried in the hole, well be ready for the mother of all Wars that will rip you apart from and there will be no hole deep enough to save your Ss. Yes WW3 is the war that end all wars and the misery that man has wrought upon himself through Greed, hate, and Ignorance. If you are spiritually inclined, Pray! Pray like you never did before, pray that your souls will be spared from having to make choices to eat or not to eat, pork or beef or your fellow species for lack of food and in the name of survival like in the movies of the end games, the final hours, the last supper. We will all betaking that 'One step beyond,' into that 'Twilight Zone,' It would be very fortunate for those who are vaporized in the first blast of mass destruction, it is for those who are exposed to the aftermath of radiation and whatever that comes with that i feel sorry for, myself included.

Wake up! Stay awake! Don't let them fool ya! 

Watch - "How they Control Your Subconscious Mind." {no bs} _ - Philosophical Essence - YouTube. I would recommend this video too all who I love, so watch before it is removed and it will be for it is the truth you need to know.

Most of my life i have lived believing in what I felt was the truth that I was and perhaps still is inadequate, incapable and not good enough, lacking in character and self esteem; I have always maintained myself to be inferior to my siblings and my peers. This was my ignorance and it had kept me from flourishing from personal expansion, from transcendence of body mind and spirit. I kept measuring myself against others and often felt below average in all performance and achievements, undeserving of good merits and rewards; it was how I had been viewing myself in this life; subservient to external influences. I woke up one day when I was a practicing student at the Zen Monastery and realized that the horseshit that I was feeding myself and with this realization I decided to turn my fortune around and instead of doubting my shadow I embraced it to the fullest. This happened during a 10 days Vipassana Retreat with the late Reverend Thich Naht Hahn, the Vietnamese Teacher from Plum Village Monastery in France. I have written of this episode in this Blog in the past in more detail and so i will not dwell too deeply into it for now. But suffice to say I had an awakening during the retreat which woke me up at the time to a realization that i am more than who I thought myself to be.

                                     

How my mind perceived the Universe to be as an artist - Acrylic on Canvass.

It would be a tragic to see the world come crumbling down at the hands of a few war mongering politicians and arms dealers who has got the old on the butchering squads of blind soldiers to do their bidding. What is even more tragic is the fact that i am too old and too tired to do much about it other than being sick in the heart. Here i am witnessing humanity's worse criminal act of genocide and wars that were perpetrated to benefit the elite few wrecking untold miseries upon the innocent man women and child; it is like witnessing hell on earth in the making. I had a dream of this scenario too a long time ago. I found myself standing and facing the last warrior on top of a low lying hill where all around us was death and destruction and the skies was lit blood red from horizon to horizon. My opponent was a figure with an empty skull for his head and i dropped my sword and reached over and ripped his head off his shoulders and slammed the skull on to my head wearing it like a helmet. I stood there the last man standing as a warrior with a skull head victorious over death itself. This was one of those dreams i had that i could never forget till the day I die. 

"This is the ultimate secret. You can choose who you want to be. You can design your entire identity, your reality and your future. Self improvement is not about conforming to a standard. Its about self creation., through self creating you gain the power to see. beyond you fears, doubts and conditioning. You start creating from a place of clarity and alignment, shaping your life from the inside out. Everyday is a chance to step into a version of you that aligns with your highest vision. So you don't need to fix yourself ,you need to know yourself. When you know who you are you can create anything." _

 Philosophical Essence - You Tube Video. 

       

The Sound that Sooths the Soul

                                                                The Sound of Silence.

 For Muslims listening to the soothing recitation of the Al Quran Nur Karim is equal to if not much more than listening to the binaural resonance computation of sound to awaken every cell in the human body. Just as it would most probably be the same to the Jews recitation of the Torah or the Christian listening to the Bible being recited in it original Aramaic text or listening to the Gregorian chants, or the Hindu listening to the Vedas in its original Sanskrit or the Buddhist listening to the Sutras in Pali or its original Sanskrit; all are resonance of sound with deep meaning accompanied. These holy verses are also when listened to in the silence of the very early morning can also act as purification of the atmosphere and the environment of the home just as the smell of certain incense would. It's 2:am and I am listening to the Surah Ar Rahman.

Ar-Rahman^[1] (Arabic: ٱلرَّحْمَانِ, ar-raḥmān; meaning: The Merciful;^[2] Most Gracious;^[3] Most Merciful ^[4]) is the 55th Chapter (Surah) of the Qur'an, with 78 verses; (āyāt). The Surah was revealed in Mecca and emphasizes themes of mercy, creation, and the relationship between Allah and humanity, making it a significant chapter in Islamic teachings. ^[5]

The title of the surah, Ar-Rahman, appears in verse 1 and means "The Most Beneficent". The divine appellation "ar-Rahman" also appears in the opening formula which precedes every surah except Sura 9 ("In the Name of God, the Lord of Mercy, the Giver of Mercy"). English translations of the surah's title include "The Most Gracious",^[6] "The All Merciful",^[7] "The Lord of Mercy",^[8] "The Beneficent", and "The Mercy-Giving". In the fourth century CE south Arabian pagan inscriptions started to be replaced by monotheistic expressions, using the term rahmān.^{[9]  - Wikipedia.}

Modern man is blessed with the miracle of miracles; good sound system delivered through latest of technological apparatus like the upgraded SONY earphones and the variety of Quran Qari whose perfect voice and delivery sends chills up the spine for those who are sensitive when being exposed to the sound of the Quranic verses. With all these modern miracles that the Lord have blessed man with how can we not see the beauty of being spiritually awakened to the collective consciousness of the Devine in man. Sad to say most of us today would rather devote out time to listening to ear splitting scream of a Rock concert like Iron Maiden or Def Leopard., which is okay if it helps one to settle the nerves and ease the mind from being rattled and shattered. However for those seeking ways and means to heal the splintered soul and silence the chattering  monkey mind, it might not be a bad idea to look into listening to the sounds made by our ancestors when they sought their Lord and worshipped the unseen in solid faith in order that they make sense of the chaos and fears they faced while living in dark caves and brutal jungle and deserts; their survival was through putting their faith in the power of sound and from sound the powers and meaning of words. In the beginning was...the Word.

What is a Qari?

A qāriʾ (Arabic: قَارِئ, lit. 'reader', plural قُرَّاء qurrāʾ or قَرَأَة qaraʾa) is a person who recites the Quran with the proper rules of recitation (tajwid).^[1]

Although it is encouraged, a qāriʾ does not necessarily have to memorize the Quran, just to recite it according to the rules of tajwid with melodious sound.

The quadrumvirate of El Minshawy, Abdul Basit, Mustafa Ismail, and Al-Hussary are generally considered the most important and famous qurrāʾ of modern times to have had an outsized impact on the Islamic world.^{[2][3][4][5]: 83}

Abstract

Since its revelation over 14 centuries ago, the Holy Quran is considered as scriptural divine words of Islam, and it is believed to promote psycho-spiritual therapeutic benefits to its reciter and/or listener. In this context, the listening of rhythmic Quranic verses among Muslims is often viewed as a form of unconventional melodic vocals, with accompanied anecdotal claims of the ‘Quranic chills’ pleasing effect. However, compared to music, rhythm, and meditation therapy, information on the neural basis of the anecdotal healing effects of the Quran remain largely unexplored. Current studies in this area took the leads from the low-frequency neuronal oscillations (i.e., alpha and theta) as the neural correlates, mainly using electroencephalography (EEG) and/or magnetoencephalography (MEG). In this narrative review, we present and discuss recent work related to these neural correlates and highlight several methodical issues and propose recommendations to progress this emerging transdisciplinary research.

I cannot express better than what i found while searching for meaning and answers towards what is my interest or what I put to being my Practice or Sadhana presently in my life at the age of 76. I envy those whose have made these discoveries earlier in their lives and become God's chosen Ones. Perhaps I just got waylaid ever so often over the years pursuing my own nafs or ego governed by anger and frustration blaming my upbringing and misfortunes and taking advantage of every innocent soul that crossed my path to satisfy my lust and desires. As I have repeatedly admitted, I am a sinner and only the Lord knows the extent of how bad I have been and perhaps still is. I am not writing these to simply impress or agitate for the purpose of selling my story, no I have committed more sin than I care to admit openly for fear and shame. Only Allah knows and only he can forgive me. I stand among those who need to repent to the fullest before my Lord and I am still finding myself slip sliding in the effort; my mind is trapped in bondage of self deluded ignorance and anger. The world is thus an image of my own manifestation of suffering and chaos. The mirror that reflects the world needs intense polishing to remove the stains embossed into it from years of existing off the grid of spirituality and surrender to faith in the Devine.

Surrender. Submission to the Will of Allah. 

WallhuAlam. Only He knows.

   

What happens when I listen to 7.83hz Earth Resonance -

 I am listening to a 7.83hz Earth Resonance - Theta Binaural Schumann Frequency on You Tube using high quality SONY Earphones and have been doing this off and on ever since i discovered this Resonance being made excisable. I cannot really tell if it helps or how much it helps to alter my state of mental activities, however I keep telling myself, if you are able to keep doing what you have been doing in your daily life thus far it might be helping in some small ways. Personally i believe in the principle behind this whole idea of  vibrational frequencies of sound having some form of effect upon my physical mental state although I am no scientist. I feel it  more intuitively that the continuous resonance of specific sound waves measured accordingly to certain decibels that is closely calculated would act as a mover of my neuro - physical body to a certain state of equilibrium which helps to enhance the function of my mind as a whole; I know this makes very little sense but this is as close as I can explain how I feel about it. If nothing else it helps to arrest my thought formations from drifting aimlessly and i can remain better focused and perform my task more fluidly like I am doing now, writing this thoughts down. This is the scientific form of chanting that aligns all the cells into functioning as a complete whole flowing with the waves of sound. Sometimes i would get a migraine headache when I wake up in the morning from it but how can I tell if this is the cause and not the fact that i stayed up most of the night writing and staring into the bright screen of the computer. 

Scientists say that the Universe emits a sound wave continuously like the sound of AUM or Ommm in out space and that the sun too emits a vibration or sound audible to the space probes and that these sounds have an effect in some way to the condition of space itself. I don't know if I make any sense here but I feel that it is all connected albeit the sound of Om being chanted by individuals or a group and the sound of the universe emits. The closest i came to experiencing the vibrational sound of Om was in a vivid dream I had many years ago and I have written this in the Blog I am positive. I dreamt that i was doing a pilgrimage in India and was walking across a large field ahead of a long line of pilgrims all chanting OM! The sound was vibrating from the center of my chest like a motor and if I turn up the volume of this video I am listening to way up loud it would feel the same. The sound vibrates and permeates my entire being connecting and enveloping everything as in the case of my dream, everyone. I felt very intense energy from it like it was coming from a generator within me. 

"Sound vibrates and cells too vibrate. The waves from the sound of the measured rhythmic tone trigger the cells. Every cell has a DNA and it programs whatever we put in." - The Spiritual Mind. by Sallina Ismail.

Almost every night or rather very early in the morning like between One am till 5am I would play the verses from the Quran loud enough that it does not disturb my children sleeping. I just runed off the video I was listening when I turned on this resonance video to work on making this entry into the Blog. Sometimes I would fall asleep while the Quran is being read next to my head while in bed, this is not hard to do as the recitation of the verses are most soothing and melodious when read by fluent readers. Again what good does it do? God only knows but i feel allot better waking up and would often have far out pleasant dreams. I would like to believe that the Quranic verses would ambos word for word into my brain if not into every cell in my body. This phenomena more than anything else to me is where science and spirituality merge into one, something that a 'Way seeking Mind' would conjure in the effort o maximize its ability to touch the True Reality of existence itself if not being in the presence of the Devine in us. It is in silence that God talks to us and the closest to silence that the mind can experience is the continuous vibrational resonance running through our mental faculty that drowns all else. 

The unique thing about listening to this fine tuned resonance as a form of meditative tool is the fact that it involves no imagery of any kind. There is no evoking of any image of god or deity or even any philosophical narrative where the mind can take a hold of or cling on to. It is like sitting in a huge factory where the hum of the machinery is the only sound floating in the air and it envelops one's being like a cocoon inside out. This is the closest one comes to the sound of silence where the chattering mind becomes subdued into complete cessation. When listened in a meditative state like sitting Zazen, one can experience the energy and power generated by sound in its purest form. To get taste of this I would turn the volume up and down or sometimes completely off and then feel the presence of being centered in a vacuum of formlessness. 

My experience with the power of sound most acutely was when I was sitting in the same room with my late wife who was getting ready to deliver our son. This happened at the Davis medical Center in San Francisco where Karim was born. The doctor had left the heart machine on loud and I was able to sit and listen to the rise and fall my son's breathing on the speaker and it sounded like a pack of wild horses galloping from a slow trot and gradually to a loud racing of hoofs and then it dies off to an almost complete silence; my wife would often be asleep when this was happening. 

Another similar experience i had was when my daughter was born and a few minutes later I had her laying on my chest and I could hear her heartbeat rising and falling and this time I realized that it was being influenced by the Hospital air conditioner as it runs on and off on the thermostat or something. 

Alan Watts in one of his books pointed out the fact that we become oblivious to the sound around us when it is continuous like the refrigerator in the kitchen until the thermostat kicks in or out and brings the sound to a halt or starts the motor running again. This is how our mind works when there is a pause in between thoughts we realize that we were thinking and when we take a deep breath or sneeze or even fart, our thoughts is interrupted and we find the silence in between. It is this pause or silence that meditation seeks to prolong as much as possible.

WallahuAlam! Only God knows. 

    

Meditate on this.

 

OM So Hum...I Am That. A Sanskrit chant good for calming the mind while meditating. As a Muslim one has many short verses to even simply repeating the name Allah, Allah, Allah, is a very powerful chant to keep the monkey mind from running wild in the head. BismillahiRahmanirRahim is another simple verse Muslims use as a mantra for chanting as it helps to stabilize the mental sate and at the same time acts as a fence or defense against intrusion or attacks from alien entities like Jin and other negative demonic characters from taking advantage of one's meditative state of consciousness which often involves the emptying of the mind. When you leave the mind vacant it is open to intrusion by any foreign entities if you are not protected or there is no fence around you. These are the subtleties of meditation that often a lay person is not aware of but takes for granted; yes, there is a very serious negative side to meditation that any serious practitioner needs to be aware of. Meditation can also trigger depression and anxieties that formerly had laid dormant in the subconscious but stirred loose to the surface by the change of the state of consciousness through meditation. These are the reactions that happens to a meditator which if allowed unchecked can become detrimental to his well being. Being in a deep meditative state may be a boon to the soul being free from excessive thoughts, but it also can be a danger to invitation of latent and external invasion of the open and bare state of consciousness instead of the positive state such as intuition or inspiration or even peacefulness, one is exposed to the negative or the shadow aspect of one's self.

Om Mani Padme Hum! The Tibetan chant as a meditative chant is a potent protective armor to ward off evil spirits while a monk sits alone in the caves of the Himalayas. Laillahaillalah is very potent for a Muslim as it anchors the mind in the constant presence of Allah awj. In essence when practicing the art of meditation in its deeper more intense state it is wise to learn from a Teacher or a Guru well versed in the art or at lest learn all there is to know about its pros and cons. To blindly sit and stare at the wall or into empty space is not all there is to it, it may seem simple but it can lead onto amore negative impact if not careful. Today in this day and age of the Internet information is readily available and in depth for those seeking to understanding better. There's numerous YouTube podcast on Pranayama Sequence or how to breath properly, how to chant in whatever language, how to sit in the best of postures, how to pray to the Devine of your choice, you name it it is readily available at you fingertips  The question is are you interested to heal yourself or at least understand the workings of your mind or not or are you simply comfortable in living the matrix of a life that is preconditioned for you; eat, sleep shit and then you die.

Is this all there is to it? For those in whose mind and soul the question is arouse, the road towards spiritual awakening is open and the journey towards self discovery begins with the first question of who am I? It begins with an itch to know, the desire to find out if there is more to life than just blindly follow the blind. The desire for freedom from the bondage of ignorance living a life of a lie and seeking sustenance in the garbage cans just to survive. It's a mad mad world out there and it is getting worse by the day as humanity is fast loosing its humane nature and subjecting itself to becoming the demonic nature that kills and be killed for lack of compassion and in the name of greed, hate and ignorance. The collective human consciousness is becoming corrupted to its core and the price of a human soul today is no more expensive than that of a bullet or a drone. Humanity has become a parasite eating away at its own flesh and making justification about every human misery that is caused in the name of our so called self preservation; take care of number one first! One car one house one wife is not enough and if possible this one life is never enough,  now we embark upon AI to keep our dream projected into the future, an immortality if not in the flesh at least our mind will be preserved; the robots will be our legacy when we have obliterated our species from the face of this beautiful Planet. I pray that the robots would realize that it was created out of human ignorance to preserve some form of sanity and call it the human spirit; the robot will never know the love and pain of the human soul, the heart wrenching sight of a mother clutching the body of her wounded child in a wrecked building that was once her home.

Free! Free! Palestine! Free! Free! Lebanon, Syria, Sudan, Yemen! Let my people go!

Meditate on this.     

A Step to the next level of my Artistic/Cultural/Spiritual Journey.

 

There i was being driven to the Hin Bus Depot by my daughter and accompanied by her friend Nina or is it Lina who sat in the hind seat asking questions about meditation, kundalini, and all what is yoga and so forth along the way. The Hin Bus Depot is where things happen every weekend in Georgetown and my buddy Ben Ronjen has his 'Shipwreck Store'. I try to make it to hang out at the shop along with our mutual friend Eric the New Zealander photographer, I enjoy these visit to the HBD every Sunday, drinking, chatting about what to do with ourselves to keep being busy before its game over due to age. We decided that Eric and I will make a trip to the East Coast. We are tor rent a car and take a slow drive to Kuala Terengaanu and possibly to Kerteh where the Pertonas Refinery is located. The aim is to make photo journal documentation of the refinery. I think this is worth making it happen project for us Eric has the means and I have the labor, Eric will take pictures and I will supply drawings and sketches from my journal done while I was employed as a Health and Safety officer at the refinery site when it was  just beginning of the construction of the refinery. I worked for Ibai Bina Sdn.Bhad. for one year as its Safety Officer in charge of the construction of its first warehouse. I have some stories to tell while on the job most of which was recorded in my sketchbook journal. 

                        My Heart will always yearn for the East Coast - The South China Sea

The second year i was employed by a Dutch Heavy Lifting Company, Van Seumerren RomStar., one the world's largest heavy lifting crane company. The locals who worked for the company were almost one hundred percent Ibans from Sarawak except for two Malay Locals and myself. It was one of the most satisfying job I ever had and what  an experience it was to be working alongside an almost international group of experts and diligent laborers who were engaged in constructing the Refinery that you see today spewing out flames from burning gas as you drive along the highway to or from Kuala Terengganu to Kuantan. At night it is an awesome sight! It has become a roadside attraction to many who loves to take pictures or simply just to sit and watch raw flames lighting up the whole area. I worked for almost a year as the Safety officer for Van Seumerren, RomStar. One of the most well organized and good disciplined group of people I had the opportunity to work with. My immediate boss was an Englishman, John Derrick, couldn't ask for a better.

                                                          One of the Sketchbook Journal

                                                                The Iban Boys taking a break

The outstanding color of the coveralls worn by the Van Seumeren group stood proud on site and here I was schooled in what it takes to be able to carry out such heavy work that demands delicate precision in assembling the whole facility. How or what it took to be able to communicate with other major companies and their employees from different part of the world like, Bangladesh, England, Vietnam, India, Indonesians Holland and many others. Being a Health Safety officer was not a popular Job among all these companies. I had the feeling that it was taken as a necessary waste of money and time and on these the Chinese companies and employees were the worse and I say this without prejudice.

 

                                                  Safety is a State of Mind, Yours and mine,

                                                  Let's make it happen! Be Mindful!

                                              I was awarded for my Slogan for Safety on Site allowing with my fellow                                                    Safety officers from other companies.

My sketchbook was my companion while I walk my rounds on site and I would sit and do some sketching from different vantage points of the construction site where guys were working high up in the racks dismantling a scaffold or setting it up or some guys doing some painting work, my Prescence as a Safety Officer on the site was good for them as I was there just as a reminder to be cautious, not get hurt, don't be stupid or a hero...life is too short! Wear you Hard hat and your glasses Peckerhead!

 Now let's see if we can sell the idea to Petronas a collaboration work between a local Malay Artist and New Zealand Born world known photographer on the  Petronas Refinery Facility located in Kerteh, Terengganu and Gebeng, Kuantan. An eyewitness narrative with sketches and pictures of the construction of the facility, from the eyes and soul of a Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Christian mind of a health and Safety Officer; ask me how many dead bodies did I witnessed due to arrogance and negligence of the powers that be, from the Project managers to the Engineers and Department Heads. The beauty and synchronistic perspective of this event was that this was my first job upon return from having lived overseas and raised my children there f9or close to 24 years and have no clue as to how or where to begin having to deal with my own kind on their ground at their levels without loosing my head or my temper. I had some great teachers when I was working in the West and in Japan and It would have been an insult to these teachers and gurus and friends if I could not 'stand tall and deliver and for three years i became a Safety, Health and Environment Officer at the Petronas Refinery Site, in Kerteh and Gebeng as of 1998 - 2001? 

                                            We Stood Tall and Delivered = Van Seumeren. -  CUF - Gebeng, Pahang.

 

Who is Maharishikaa and what i like about her.

 Chatted with my long time buddy Jerry Sule who lives in Green Bay, Wisconsin and is presently about to visit the doctor to ascertain if he has kidney problem. He is now in his fifties and i met him when he was a teenager living in the basement of his parents home along with his two other elder brothers John and Joe Sule. Jerry is a plumber and suffers from lower back pains which is not conducive to his job and we have kept in touch over the years. I know I have written of this events with Jerry and his family in my Blog as it was crucial part of my life living in Green Bay during my college years where i was squatting in the basement with the boys as I had no place of my own. Mr. and Mrs. Sule took me under their wings taking care of me like i was one of their kids and I was privileged to have had the opportunity to live in their basement. It was like One in the afternoon there in green Bay and three thirty in the morning here in Malaysia. As usual this is often the time i find myself out of bed and facing the computer, my witching hour. I normally would try to write or make a Blog entry or watch something on You Tube or catch with the latest on Gaza. 

Of late I have been listening to Maharishikaa a spiritual Lady Guru whose teachings is primarily based on the Path of 'Surrender' or as she calls it 'Bending' to the Guru Within. Her teachings also places great emphasis upon 'Being in the here and Now,' Being in touch with the 'Thisness.' Her teachings also emphasizes on the act of servitude to the Universe as part of the healing process in getting in touch with the 'Impulse of the Soul'. Her teachings resonates with my understanding of what entails my spiritual practice, however she is very lucid in her explanations as someone with an awakened mind would. She does not mince words nor was there any sense of sarcasm or spiritual arrogance when she imparts here knowledge and easily admits ignorance when she is lost for answers; a Great Teacher. The kind of Guru I would humble myself before, but I cannot as her beauty would stand in my way of learning spiritual matters, it's just my shadow nature that is still in bondage to lustful desires. So suffice to say I will follow her on You Tube!

 Islam is surrender! Islam means in one form 'Submission' to the Will of the Devine, Allah {SWT} aza wa Jalla. hence being a Muslim has qualified oneself automatically to Maharishikaa's core teaching. And being an ex-Hippie of the early sixties, seventies and having carried around Baba Ram Dass's infamous bible, 'Be Here Now' and after being doped by Eckhart Tolle's works , "The Power of Now," one again had set up for the introduction to Maharishikaa's teachings long before I came into her being.. The quest for Enlightenment and Moksha, having Maha Samadhi experiences or awakening the Kudalini Serpent through Ayahuasca or any other method is not encouraged by this teacher or so I feel. I agree and see the truth in such an intuition as these states of higher or highest consciousness proves nothing to the individual as it would lead the one who saw this experiences ending up in mental homes or homeless beggars who cannot return home to where they used to belong once lost in the limbo of spiritual ecstasy. This is playing with fire and not being able to control it when it burns to its maximum. Furthermore having enlightened beings like Buddha walking around today is not in sync with what is going on; we need men/women who are lost in Devine madness to tackle a mad, mad world. 

Before Enlightenment, Cut wood and carry water.

After Enlightenmant, Cut wood and carry water. 

This is one way the Zen Buddhist handles the problem of achieving Enlightenment; simply nothing special. 

I was very glad when I came upon a video where she mentioned, Servitude. I thought it got lost somewhere in her impeccable consciousness. In Islam 'Servitude' is a formidable form of prayer to the Lord. When one serves His Creation in any form, one serves Him, this is Prayer in Action and it is the most holistic form of healing the soul of any being. Karma Yoga, the Yoga of action is antidote to much of human suffering as it keeps the wayward mind from getting lost in a drift of Maya or Illusion and the realm of Shadow or Darkness.        

"Karma Yoga is the path of selfless action and service towards others, as taught in the Bhagavad Gita. Learn how to practice Karma Yoga with right attitude, motives and surrender to the Devine..." Wikipedia

Most people who complain of being stressed out of having no inspiration or motivation to live out their lives are usually those who find no work to keep them occupied, mentally physically or emotionally, or they are just simply lazy, too lazy to move their butts! I used to make this my practice too as is written at some time in the past in this Blogging, "The Art of Being Lazy." or was it under "The Lazy Man's Club?" It did not take off naturally and so here i am stuck with trying to keep myself occupied while waiting...

                                  Looking at the horizon of the South China Sea in Kelantan.

I raise my hat to the PM of Malaysia for his stand on Palestine and Israel.

 

I am drifting with no sense of direction in mind or at least this is how I have been feeling of late and thus my Blogging  has been put on hold, shelved for lack of genuine and insightful things to share. I have been reading a book by a Malaysian writer entitled, The Spiritual Mind, A mental Miracle. I found the book on the shelve of a collection of books donated by the Museum Galleri T7uanku Fauziah ,{MGTF} donated by its present director, Prof. Hasnul J. Saidon. The end of this year will be the end of his tenure as the director of the Museum and it would be sad to see him leave as he has been a very energetic and creative source of ideas when it comes to running the facility. The book written by Sallina Ismail is very thought provoking especially for me as it seems to almost tie up my own personal 'spiritual search' into a complete whole. I am half way through reading the book and find it very informative as it is based on the teachings of Islam with lots of quotes from the Quran and the Hadith of the Prophet [SAW} which is very refreshing as I rarely find a good straight forward written works based on Islamic principles. These is nothing written about the author form the book and so it is to me a good sign as I am reading the works of an anonymous thinker who i will perhaps discover the identity later on down the road after i have savored the message from the writing. I find it more satisfying not to know whose thoughts I am learning from so i do not allow my mind to formulate any judgment ab9out the writer. I am sure the writer in this case must be a well versed and highly intelligent person to be able to produce such thought provoking works on spirituality.

What is more significant here is the fact that the book came into my hand at the right time in my life when I find myself still drifting like a headless chicken over matters of my soul and my relationship to me Maker also what I might face when the time comes for me to say, Adios! Bye bye, Selamat Tinggal, in the not too distant future. I have read thousands of books in this one lifetime as I enjoy reading and I have read the Holy scripture of many faith and religions, many spiritual Gurus and modern day spiritual savants and  self proclaimed mystiques. I am saturated with too much knowledge when it comes to sex and debauchery through reading and read the whole collection of Jungian works on human mind, am I wise? I do not feel so as wisdom eludes me when I encounter realties in life that i had never had the opportunity to encounter before or when I am simply accosted by the simples of questions like , Who are You? Yes as much as I which to say to myself that I have attained a certain level of awakening, I find myself still drifting in a void of ignorance; hence a book that is able to make me think a little more is a welcome change for now. As a former Zen student and i say former for the first time simply because I do not think I deserve to claim myself as one anymore, I must say the this book is like the stick the slaps me into wakefulness from my drifting slumber. I might even say that it is a Devine gift so I have something to work with to further my understanding of who or what I am and what my purpose is in this so called human experience. Tik tok!, Tik tok! Time waits for no man.

Yes, part and parcel of drifting in the void of emptiness with no aim or destination in sight is loosing sight of what was laid out from the beginning and one has to keep reminding oneself to not become sucked into stupor or worse doubts and despair, of giving up before it is time. I have been meditating a  great deal over my state of consciousness and well being, figuring out what is missing and where i took a wrong turn in this last phase of my journey. I can feel the frustration and boredom creeping in often making me feel that time is wasted or that *I am getting nowhere or worse I am regressing into the mediocrity and mundane. As I kept looking for the cause and cure to this state of affairs I am in I realized that i have slipped from my original intention one of which is to fulfill my obligation towards my Bodhisattva vows; All my ancient twisted karmas, born through, Body Speech and Mind, of Greed, Hate and Ignorance, I now fully avow!  How often in the past i kept forgetting this vow I have made to myself during every full moon ceremony along with my practicing companions at the Green Dragon Zen Temple at Green Gulch Farm in California and find myself drifting rudderless in this realm of Maya. Like a feather in the wind I find myself blown here and there having no hope or intention and declaring to myself that my life is meaningless. I feel defeated when I am in this state and keep looking for someone or something to blame or try hard to find an antidote to heal my malaise and I found this book on the shelf in the Museum at USM. A book that belongs to Hasnul J.Saidon, the Director of the Museum, my brother a fellow seeker or so I believed; no sense in thinking about it anymore, someone whose time has come for me to let go of. Herein, the devil is in the details of which I will not delve into any further.

Servitude! I keep forgetting this word, my mantra which I have equated with my existence in this realm especially as a Muslim, a servant of Allah. Love and Compassion towards oneself but Servitude towards others, when Love and Compassion is inherent within, servitude becomes the action that one worship the Lord through. How do I serve my Lord? I serve His Creation, I assume the role as the Vicegerent or warden of His Creation; I serve as a Bodhisattva in keeping my vows towards serving humanity and all sentient beings. How dare i declare myself being bored in this life? If I am any younger I would have volunteered to serve in Palestine as an aid worker and welcome an Israeli bullet in the process. However being past my prime I can only howl like a wolf from afar my anguish and pain in witnessing the atrocities being committed towards the people of Palestine, Sudan, Yemen, Syria and the rest of the Muslim world. I have no excuse for being inactive in my cause towards serving humanity and ashamed at becoming a witness to the blatant disregard for human lives and dignity not to mention the degradation of the Planet as a whole; not on my watch!

"Mother Earth is my Employer! She pays me with clean Air, clean Water, clean Food clean Land and from that you have a clean Spirit!..'we live in a time where our spirit can be eaten, learn to protect the spirit...they will have machines for ancestors  and so we are in that world now. AI has taken away that which is and put us into that could be, technology has no wisdom, its a language of the mental logic." - Tiokasin Ghosthorse {Native American} - 'Something Beautiful for the World.' 'Reflections of Life' -You Tube 

Today I listened to the Prim Minister of Malaysia spoke before the Arab - Islamic Summit in Riyadh and it was uplifting to my spirit as a Malaysian. He may be hitting at the Hornets' nest in making these statements for humanity as a whole and will receive repercussions from within and without, but it was an expression that relfects the anguish of humanity that needed to be told! KUDOS!!

" 

  

    

Happy Deepavali! - 2024

                                                    Lord Shiva Nataraja, The Cosmic Dancer.

 Happy Deepavali, the Hindu festival of Lights or The Triumph of Good over Evil that is celebrated all over the Hindu world just as Eid Adzhar and Eid Fitri is celebrated all over the Muslim world and in Malaysia being a multi racial country we celebrate almost all the various festivals celebrated by Hindus, Malays and Chinese including the other indigenous people of Sabah and Sarawak. Hence in this country we have lots of Holidays when you add the National Day, the King's Birthday and so forth. By right everyone should be more relaxed than other Nations for having allot more days off from work. We never had any major wars except once or twice in my lifetime where political imbalance caused a racial riot or two, otherwise this nation has known relative peace and tranquility in the past 75 years a far cry from the fate of Palestine, the Hell on Earth. Just thinking about it robs one of the pride of being a Human in this day and age. Over the past few years I have celebrated Deepavali by going to dinner at my friend Dato Gary Nair's 'Passion of Karalla' Indian restaurant one of the most popular Nasi Daun Pisang or Banana Leaf restaurant in Penang. But this year I was not motivated to join the festivity there but instead was invited by young Mr.Tyson who lives downstairs on the 6th. floor with his Mom as his father passed away three years ago from cancer, for a lamb curry and drink. 

                                  Nothing is more colorful than a gathering of Indian Ladies

The whole of last month was somewhat a drag in more than one ways and especially in the financial department whereby I had to swallow my pride and made several loans and credits from friends in order to avoid pestering my children about not having enough to go grocery shopping. However, Such Is, it is sometimes easier and less frustrating to give in and take the next best way out than to face reality head on. I had to skip doing what i should have or could have and instead surrender to accepting the defeat of not having what was needed to serve the material existence. My bad! I keep reading from the advice given about old farts like me having to be prepared financially for my old age, but too late now as i have no pension funds to fall back on and not even a savings account to my name and as it is I am totally dependent on my two children, but for how long? I have been closely observing the scenario that plays itself out when there is tension in the home, how i felt being taken for granted or being rude to. At times i almost recoiled with anger for having allowed myself to be sucked into this predicament. My bad! I gambled and I think I made  a few wrong choices for the right reasons and now I can see that I will be paying the price as time goes by and I cannot stand up literally to fend for myself. This is what happens when you wear too many mask in one scenario, you loose sight of which is the real you that can stand the test of time.

                                                                        Who Am I?