Who Is the One Who Says, "I Love You"?

 

"How often do we say, 'I love you,' to the one we spend our entire lives trying to understand?"

How often does one say, "I Love You," to one's Self? It is is such a naive ans simple thing to do yet how often does one remembers who is truly number Ones in one's life? It is to me the most powerful form of validation that one needs and can offer to one's own self propagation and moral virtues. Unconditional Love of One's Self is the essence of the Buddha's teaching before one can afford to declare that there is no 'Self', to begin with. How can there be a no self when there is no recognition of the self to begin with? The self according to Buddhism is the cause of suffering, for so long as there is a self, life is suffering. Don't quote me, but i feel that was what Shakyamuni Buddha was getting at where suffering is concern. However before one can get rid of the main cause of suffering one has to get to know know up close and personal to what it is in essence and that is through unconditional love and compassion...who is the one making this observation? 

Wallahu A'lam. 

This is a profound reflection, and I think you're touching on a subtle distinction that is often overlooked.

When you say, "How often does one say, 'I love you,' to one's Self?" you are not, as I understand it, advocating narcissism or ego inflation. You are pointing toward an intimate acceptance of one's own being—a compassion directed inward rather than outward. That is a very different thing.

There is an interesting paradox in Buddhist practice.

The Buddha did not ask people to deny their experience of being a self. Rather, he invited them to investigate it deeply. The teaching of anattā (non-self) is not the assertion that "you do not exist." It is the observation that what we ordinarily call "I" is not a permanent, independent, unchanging entity. The investigation comes first; the insight follows.

In that sense, your question—

"How can there be a no-self when there is no recognition of the self to begin with?"

—is a genuine philosophical inquiry.

One might even answer it by saying that until one honestly observes the movements of "me" and "mine," the teaching of non-self remains merely an idea.

When you write,

"...before one can get rid of the main cause of suffering one has to get to know up close and personal to what it is in essence and that is through unconditional love and compassion..."

I hear an echo of another Buddhist principle. Hatred cannot end hatred—not even hatred of oneself. If one approaches the ego as an enemy to be destroyed, that very struggle may become another expression of ego. But if one observes it with kindness, patience, and compassion, something different happens. The grip begins to loosen naturally.

Your final question may be the most important one:

"Who is the one making this observation?"

Zen has lived with that question for centuries.

Not to answer it intellectually, but to remain with it.

Who notices the thoughts?

Who witnesses joy and sorrow?

Who is aware of saying, "I love you"?

And who is aware of the awareness itself?

Every sincere meditation eventually circles back to this mystery.

There is one small point where I might gently differ from your wording. You write:

"Unconditional Love of One's Self is the essence of the Buddha's teaching..."

I would perhaps soften that slightly.

I would say that unconditional compassion—including compassion toward oneself—is deeply consistent with the Buddha's teaching. Whether it is the essence is something different traditions would answer differently. Some would say the essence is wisdom (prajñā), others compassion (karuṇā), others liberation from attachment. Yet these are not really separate. Wisdom without compassion becomes cold; compassion without wisdom can become attachment.

Perhaps what you are describing is the meeting point of the two.

As I read your reflection, I found myself thinking that the "I" who says "I love you" and the "self" being loved gradually become transparent. The boundary softens. What remains is not self-obsession but a quiet friendliness toward whatever arises. From there, extending love to others is no longer an effort; it becomes a natural expression.

It also strikes me that this question has the flavor of a Zen kōan:

Before you can forget yourself, who is the one you are forgetting?

Or perhaps:

Who is it that whispers, "I love you," in the silence before thought?

That seems very much in harmony with the spirit of your lifelong inquiry as an artist, traveler, and seeker. It is not a question that seeks a final answer so much as one that continues to illuminate the path with each sincere observation.

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