Anger my old friend -revisited.

Anger will tear your spirit down like no other emotion can for when it hits you even if you manage to allow it to settle down and not explode in negative acton, it will still remain with you for a length of time until every trace of its cause and effect is removed from the mind. A few days back i found out that i could not get into my car because someone had kicked the door and the dent has topped me from being able to open it. Ever since I have to squeeze myself sideways in order to enter the driver's seat and worse when getting out, but such I have a good idea of who would have done it because the car was parked and visualize the ev in my parking space and the car parked next to mine seems to have an issue about something that i have no idea about as yet and what is more weird is I have yet to meet the owner of the car or the two motorcycles that is often parked there. So what gives i ask myself, is this another racial crap that I have a Chinese who thinks malays do not deserve to live in the same apartment building as them? Yes one tends to assume the worse  dream of even worse forms of retaliation as only a sick mind can.

Although I am trying to drop the whole matter and make believe it all did not happen, t is futile until I get the door fixed as it is a constant reminder every time I have to use it to get in and out of the car and the ugly dent that is now a pain to look at and the same question that floats in my mind, how or what did i do to cause for such a retribution from someone i have yet to set my eyes upon. Then yesterday I found an expensive pair of sun glasses drop by the owner of my next stall neighbor. my initial reaction was, payback! But I decided to hang the glasses by a rain gear that was hanging by the and walked away. Not worth it, more karma creating stuff, I don't need at this point in my life, let the world win in this cases and so long as i can drive and get to wherever it is that I need to go, I will be happy to put up with the inconvenience. off course God is to be blamed! Ha! ha! who could have allowed for such a transgression to happen but the Lord of Test. Yes the Lord decided to take a poke at me because I was having a few good and am forgetting to be grateful of something like that, or simply that shit happens!

Do and be good, the Buddha is said to have said and that is all you have to do to clean up your past karmic actions. Allowing the world to be as it is, is not a defeatist attitude but a self realization that,one cannot change the world for what it is, but one can change oneself to transcend what is. Easier said than done? Not really, not today at least as there are lessons to be learned everywhere you care to look and if you care to take up a practice and master an art of self discovery and self empowerment, to be able to say, enough is enough i do not need you to aggravate me to feel alive. I will be an unwilling, unattached, witness to all your vexations and nothing more; I have my God you have yours and right and wrong is still a sickness of the mind.

Feliz Navidad! - Selamat Hari Natal!

1. Celebrated Christmas by attending two churches for the Christmas service, the first church was a mistake of venue while the second was the actual venue where my friend LeeKhai had invited me to attend. As my daughter decided to tag along we ended up spending Christmas morning among the predominantly Chinese Christian population at two different churches. Merry Christmas indeed from the Baharis! It is our intention to celebrate life in all its forms and, faith and fancies.  if nothing else it will be a memorable experience for my daughter and I something to reflect upon when it is all over; what did we do on Christmas day of 2018? Cannot remember what names the churches were now, but it does not matter now, just so long as they were celebrating the birth of Jesus- A Very happy Birthday JC!

Some of the most beautiful moments of my life were spent on Christmas Eve in the winter nights of Green Bay, Wisconsin. A Bottle of Red wine and a blazing fireplace while curled up in a bean bag after a hardy dinner of T'Bone steak with sauteed mushrooms and sliced white onions. Baked potatoes and steamed asparagus all collected from the fields around the farm. A gentle jazz of Hubert Laws and Grover Washington Jr. Bob James or John Pierre Rampal. Ahh... those were the Christmas I miss much. I miss the beautiful Christmas mornings at the Green Gulch farm Zen Buddhist community in Sausalito, Marin County, California. After a delicious breakfast of steaming hot Miso soup with fresh loaf of Bread freshly baked from the kitchen by none other than the Master Baker of the Tassajara Bakery of San Francisco, A few of us would take a slow walk down through the fields towards Muir Beach to sit and watch the waves roll in and out over the Pacific Ocean. From behind us, the sun would be rising over the Tamalpais hills bringing the Green Gulch Valley to life. 

Today Christmas was spent among a bunch of Christian Chinese folks, it is a little .not so alike, but it was an event nonetheless. A very merry Christmas to all who read this and may the new year brings you loads of Happiness and may you be free from suffering. 

Where is Buddha when you need Him?

The drum roll from Kitaro's, Matsuri, sets my heart in rhythm within and without,  and my body sways to the floating sound of the flute and the acoustics I am drifting into my inner sanctum where only I am allowed to be. It is my retreat from the onslaught of external stimulus and vexations. Thank you Maestro, your music has been my source of inspiration ever since i was introduced to you, Kitaro San! If my memory does not fail me, I think i first listened to Kitaro' Matsuri when i was driving towards Kuala Terengganu in a car driven by my late Brother in law Syed Ahmad and his two sons Syed Faisal and Syed Harman sometime in the 80s, I fell in love with what i heard and has been one of my long time favorite.  I might ever call,it my spiritual picker upper when I am feeling low in form and energy as I am now. Music to me is indeed food for the sol, : I know mine is bathed in the music i choose to listen at the moment in time and space; it is meditative or leads to a meditative state of mind.

Yes I could use just about anything now in order to get my mind to quiet down from so much hankering over nothing and giving me so little space to reflect with clarity at what is truly happening or should happen. I keep losing track of my intentions towards becoming more awakened from this zombie state of being in limbo. I need a Kitaro's, Matsuri or Hans Zimmer's Pandora, to bring my mind back from its wandering. The egotistic mind will never give up from demanding to be heard and reckoned with, it is part and parcel of being human, this is where the laws of cause and effect takes it roots, the ego is an insatiable parasite that feed upon each and every episode, event, experiences mental phenomena and so forth; it is its inherent nature. It is the wise that sees this and learn to navigate through life without letting the ego have the upper hand all the time; silence is the antithesis of the egoic mind. To bring the mind to s silence is the practice of every man looking for liberation from this cyclic existence of life, death and rebirth, I did not make this up, it came from the Buddha.

It's Depression that is killing us. he said to me.

An Imam from the mosque  i usually pray at in Sungai Pinang sat at the table where i was having lunch and in a brief conversation stated that 'murong' or depression in Malay is at a worrisome level in our community.  Coming form a man who does not see me eye to eye to begin with was quite a wake up call, he was serious and concerned and it was written all over his face. What do i say to such a person? Hey open the mosque doors air it out let the community come in and out at any time they like and  provide more positive entertainment for old and young! Stop the heavy of brimstone and hell fire, share more stories that are uplifting and those that inspire and promote good health and spirits. Provide food and refreshments to attract the poor and needy to the mosque yard so that the mosque is always alive! No! Not at our mosque as i see it, it always locked up except when comes the prayer times and as soon as the prayer is over wham! bam! The mosque becomes a tomb again!   

The causes of depression is very easy to discern, what makes a man depressed is primarily because he has no connection to or a good companionship with the community in the form of friends that he can sit and listen or talk to. He is isolated even from God when he runs out of things to ask for or words to praise His Maker and most often getting no response whatsoever. He can only hide behind the belief that it is all a test from the All Mighty of his faith and so forth before his common sense kicks in and say, Bullshit! Depression is an illness that inflicts itself upon those who have run out of ideas and imaginations, those who has very little or no understanding in their inherent nature of being a productive and awakened spirit; depression finds victims in those who have spent their lives entirely self centered and self serving for when there is no more to crave for or to hoard for the self, there is only an sense of dissatisfaction or incomplete, like something is always lacking. Have I earned enough, accumulated enough, accomplished enough, what am I missing? Depression is a by product of loneliness, of the desire for a sense of belonging, of feeling having wasted time in life and not being able to change one's lot. Depression is a self inflicted illness that we all suffer from off and on and it is better to keep it off than on as much as possible. 

Join a dance club even if you cannot dance worth a dime or become a traveller and leave your home, get out there and see what the world has to offer, take up fishing or volunteer as a substitute teacher sharing your hard earned expertise while at the same time enjoying a relationship with other,s. In essence, throw open your doors and windows and step outside and invite into your life the world out there and share life for better or worse. You were not created to become a self serving self aggrandizing entity, while at your later wallowing in self pity or feeling not appreciated for what you have achieved all your life. We are being conditioned by society to live in such a way as to go through certain stages like schooling, working and retirement, primarily, after which we are to fill up the empty spaces in between and at the end and so what do we have to do this with is what we create out of the conditioned state or out of the box we have been bred into. What we create for ourselves that has no intention for profit or gain is what will sustain us through our times of need spiritually , psychologically and physically; so take up Yoga!Take up Tai Chi, take up Karate or Kung Fu, take up Art! It is never too late nor too early to do so.

God Is Blue!

Had a long conversation with an Imam from the nearby masjid over lunch yesterday and I was doing the questioning while he was patiently answering me about some basic tenets of Islam. We talked of basic laws governing the afterlife, as to who gets to be in heaven and who does not and the bottomline is that he who submits to the will of Allah by the virtue of his professing the Mushahadah will eventually end up int heaven even if he has transgressed in his lifetime. By acknowledging that there is no God but Allah and that Muhammad is His messenger, one becomes a Muslim and observes the five pillars of islam and refer to the Quran as a guide in daily life, as a revelation or word of God. Islam is a very simple religion which is made to seem as a harsh and demanding one by some who practices extremism. We talked of the performance of the Haj and he was very excited of this for the fact that once a person has completed his/her pilgrimage, the slate to his life is wiped clean; all sins are forgiven. I kidded like that's why there's millions who wants to get there every year, the world is full of sinners.

One of my question s was, how does one knows that God has forgiven or accepted our repentance? he said that when you start feeling you are incontrol and sinning less, like drinking or gambling lesser and lesser and it has not more control over you and you finally kick the habit for good, God has accepted your repentance. Being in relationship with God or being religious is  more of a feeling rather than perception. You feel God's presence when you call on Him, less than what you see happens or does not happen when you call upon Him. Often when you witness an extraordinary sight in nature you feel awed, and your hair stands at the back of your neck and you whisper to yourself, there is a Divine presence here. God is everywhere but most of all is within you; you are the temple of the Living God. 

Why is it so difficult for man to accept the fact that he is in essence of a divine nature, that he is not just an evolved amoeba that has taken a long time to become human. Is it ego? Is it pride? In the Quran it is mentioned that Pride is the origin of evil. Why is it so hard for man to bow before that which has been proven over the ages to be the all Encompassing all Knowing Lord of Creation by almost religions giving It different names according to geographical and cultural and historical heritage if not by the spoken language itself. Perhaps what is hard for us to do is to discard the image of God that our minds has created by virtue of a specific culture or description of a certain scriptures; we have created a humanlike God and thus endowed with human traits; an angry God, a jealous God, a wrathful God, a compassionate God etc. A God we can depend upon to ask anything of and lay the blame on, a God that is fair and negotiable with; a God of reward and punishment.


Now that we have pegged and pigeon holed the The All Mighty Creator, analyzed and dissected every aspect of His condition, what do we do? We run around claiming whose God is, The God, Whose God merits worship and total faith, in simple terms whose God is the right one and we are willing to kill for our stand on our believe in our God. Hallelujah!, God is Great! Is this all there is to it? Are we merely victims of our own delusion as Richard Dawkins claimed. We will have to wait till afterlife to find out, because God is not going to come out of His mountain and give us any clear sign more than he has already been giving  us all through our human history. This Internet for instance is a Miracle of Miracles unless we are too blind to see it as such and take it for granted as just another human collective intelligence putting together yet another tool for our usage in dealing with our daily lives. Perhaps this is the tool that is supposed to reconstruct the Tower of Babel, undo the schism that was wrecked upon humanity for our arrogance in thinking we could outthink God!  

"If you ask me what or who God is, I would say God is Blue and plays the bamboo flute." - A Hare Krishna Devotee. 

Tying up loose ends - Is the universe what they say it is?

As scientists gropes around for the answers to the creation of the universe and its inherent nature many are coming to grips with the fact that the universe has a Creator. Although most are still hiding in the corners from making any form of commitment as to the final say whether yea or nay, there are those who are seeing the light as to the possibility that there is some form laws and principles that governs the basic mathematical order of the universal structure from the molecular levels to the cosmic grid and this laws are governed by an intelligence that in the spiritual sense man would call God, Brahman or Allah all meaning the same entity or Being. The Universe is in and of itself is a living entity that breathes and has its own consciousness that is connected to the whole of its being governed by the basic laws of attraction and interdependence as metaphorically described as Indra's Net of pearls in Buddhism.

Indra's net (also called Indra's jewels or Indra's pearls, Sanskrit Indrajāla) is a metaphor used to illustrate the concepts of Śūnyatā (emptiness),^[1] pratītyasamutpāda (dependent origination),^[2] and interpenetration^[3] in Buddhist philosophy..
Wikipedia.

Perhaps when God said "Let there be Light!" The Big Bang happens spontaneously, manifesting a universe of splintered whole, like shattered glass being hit by a thunder bolt. Bits and pieces are thrown far and wide in all directions, large and small in all kinds of shapes and forms, solids and gasses and just pure energy. The concussion perhaps was so immense that it generated a high amount of energy strong enough to convert matter into vapor and vice versa and restructured elements from one into another causing fusion and manifest new elements that fills the whole space continuum as the universe expands outwards for eternity. Like planet, suns and stars, like the galaxies and the dark matter of space itself, we are a part of this ongoing process. We has evolved from the very atoms that was once floating about into who or what we are today as a result of this whole process of Creation - the Big Bang - the Divine Will. As Deepak Chopra said, we are made out of cosmic dust that originated from  the explosion of a super nova or something like that, can't remember his exact words and they made more sense than mine no doubt.

I am no scientist nor am I a highly religious person but I like to know, I like to understand, I like to discover for my own how and what makes it all tick like a clockwork. Having accepted the fact that there is a Creator, a Mastermind, a Planner and call it by whatever name you will  , the next question I, like most others have to ask is what is my purpose and relationship to this 'Creator'? How did I evolve to be able to come to this level of consciousness whereby I am able to ask this primal question, who am I or what am I? Perhaps science will find an unequivocal answer as to what it is all about in some distant future, but till then I will have to keep on asking if not science or religion, philosophy or logic, to come up with an acceptable equation. I realize that to most it seems like a waste of time to even think of there issues, but I feel like I am coming to at the end of the road and it is a loose end I need to tie up with before I exit this life.

And the Truth shall set me free...or not.-like what truth?

   We are a spiritual being having a human experience not the other way round, it is often said by the Gurus and Saints, wise men and spiritual minds. Moksha, Enlightenment, Samadhi is already inherent in all of us; we are here simply to remove all the notions that we are in bondage. We are free and nothing is holding us except for ignorance of this realization  that we are free from any form of bondage other than that which we create for ourselves. I am a consciousness whereby space and time is included within the whole equation of being me, however when I cease to exist, space and time are just illusions of my state of being in this physical realm, for in essence the 'I' itself does not really exist as the teachings of the Buddha had revealed. 

Transmigration of the soul or better known as incarnation is the belief common to almost all the Hindu, Buddhist, Jain and various other Indo religions. A man or his soul goes through an evolution from one stage to another whether for the better towards the divine or the worse spiraling downwards towards the lower forms of life even to that of worms and microbes. Each according to the karmic consequences that the evolving soul had accrued through its existence. This human form that I am in is considered to be the most auspicious and conducive towards attaining to the highest level of existence in this cycle of life, death and rebirth, for it is only in this form that we are able to become liberated from the state that we are in which ultimately is the state of suffering. It is through being awakened from the sleep of Maya or delusion, that we set ourselves free from the laws of karma and to attain this we are here as we are making every effort towards our own salvation, as is said, there is nothing and no one that can do it for us but ourselves. We can listen and  follow the guides and teachings of all the wise men of old and contemporary alike but the final step is still dependant upon our own self discovery. We can only liberate that we have come to understand as who we truly are; this is the journey of life itself, this is why we are here.

In the Bhagavad Gita it is said that we are governed by three influences, that of goodness, passion and ignorance. Each of these causes us to gravitate or plunge into heaven or hell accordingly. It gets a little complicated after  you go a little deeper into the matter with all religions; the details. based on how heavy your karmic consequences happens to be you might end up in a Buddhist or Hindu hell too.

For those who have been born and raised as Jews. Christians and  Muslims or the Abrahamic faith and religions, the story of life itself is different and can be considered as the reverse of the earlier statement that. we are spiritual beings having a human experience. It is more appropriate perhaps to say that we are human beings having a spiritual experience in this short span of life we have on this Planet. As a Christian, a Muslim or a Jew, we are trying to understand fully our relationship to a Divine Being that had created us and this universe. We are subjected to the laws and doctrines of The Book or the Scriptures and revelations as handed down to us from the day that Man was first conceived. In the Abrahamic religions, man's existence is pretty much spelled out for him and having an unwavering faith in the One God, the Creator of All, is the key to the KIngdom of Heaven and life on this plane is made easier while it last. It is said that the soul before it was released into the physical realm of existence had made a covenant with God, to worship none save the Lord, thy God. In the Holy Quran it is said that God,(Allah) created the Jinn and man for no other reason than to worship Him, failing which there is hell to be reckoned with in the afterlife.

Then there are the non believers, the Atheists and the worshipers of modern science, to whom nothing of these matters at the end off the day as in essence nothing really exist and death is just a dissolution of the physical form after it has lived its time out. There is no heaven or hell, nor an awakening or enlightenment to talk or think of, man lives his life out just like a rat in the lab waiting to be made and experiment of in order to discover what it is all about. Man is nothing more than a bunch of atoms and molecules strung together by the laws of nature and physics, biological as well chemically equated elements found in the universe. Space itself is said to contain the energy that runs the whole structure of the universe including the keeping of man alive. As soon as this energy is no longer present in the human form, life for that form comes to an end and all the elements is returned to the whole or the universe to be recycled?

This in a nutshell is my understanding of who I am in relation to the whole of the universe, humanity and the cosmos alike. None of these concepts are right or wrong to me as they all have parts and parcel of the whole and they are all pigments of my own imagination and understanding. Right and wrong is still a sickness of my own dual thinking mind. Spirituality, religious beliefs. faith and understanding is to me very personal in nature and at the end of the day only I can   come to a complete acceptance of what the truth and reality of the matter is. In the meantime it is my complete responsibility to pursue this life long quest of self enquiry to the end of its course; like holding a burning ball of fire till it becomes ashes in my hands...and the Truth shall me free. 

The Buddha's Big Mouth.

There comes a time in ones life when you have to make a stand and say enough is enough to those who has been trying to bring you down or put you in place where they think you should be. This, 'they' can be close friends and people one has tried to look up to or treat with respect in friendship or as colleagues, even brothers for that matter, perhaps in my case especially elder brothers. I have for most part of my life acted pretty much in a defensive role when it comes to my relationship with others mistaking it often enough as a sign of humility or humbleness or in short as a precaution against  self arrogance, aloofness or a show off. Perhaps i have been over doing it that often enough i found that most of the people i shown this trait to have reacted as though I am afraid, a weakling or a push over. 

Yesterday evening while attending an art show I found myself actually acting with a more aggressive role without even trying to. Most of the characters that were at the show were people or fellow artists who in the past I had treated as i mentioned earlier with respect if nothing else and now they have practically walked all over me,treating me with disdain.What was uncanny, now that I look back at the scenario, the 'they', were practically all there!  I was surprised at myself and even felt a twinge of guilt as i greeted each one with a deliberate sense of arrogance like saying no I don't really need you or your presence no matter your status or position in life as it is, but I greet you nonetheless simply because I happen to know you in the past. There were two caucasian expats at the show and I knew both of them and in essence had an axe to grind against for one reason or another. One was a Britisher who decided to shake my hand with his left and when he did this something inside me snapped and i almost shouted into his face the f word saying that I wipe my ass with my left hand and why should i take yours! The other  was an Australian if i am not mistaken married to a local Chinese and he has an attitude about him like he runs the town council ever since I have known him, I walked up to him and called him, hey! white man! into his face and it turned red perhaps from the free wine he was sipping too: I felt good and right. 

I had a good rapport with the gallery curator and told him that it was about time I had a show at his gallery and when I would like it to be, which to my surprise he immediately cancelled a name from his calendar which has been fully booked for the next three years to fit me in for a show in August next year. The opening date would be on the eleventh of August, a choice he made not knowing that the twelve would be my 70th, birthday which also happens to fall on the same date as the Eid Mubarak which is the most celebrated day in the Muslim calendar. However thanks to my big mouth now i have to start working on some new paintings for the show in seven months time. It will be a good challenge that will keep me on high alert for the next few months beginning with looking for money to get me my materials. It is begging time! Ask and ye shall be given, knock and it shall be open and  get the Buddha's begging bowl out, Bahari!  

As I have said before....I am that, I am

"In theosophy and anthroposophy, the Akashic records are a compendium of all human events, thoughts, words, emotions, and intent ever to have occurred in the past, present, or future. They are believed by theosophists to be encoded in a non-physical plane of existence known as the etheric plane. Wikipedia.

My Blog is not quite the Akashic record of my life, thoughts and deeds, not quite as elegant and immense, however it is still my effort in trying to keep up to date as to how my mind function and my body behaves in my daily activities in relationship to the rest of the Universe,(out there). This Blog is my way of keeping tabs on the what ifs and how come, the such is and the whatever, as I step one step at a time into the next moment in time and space; it is my record of my journey of self awakening. I am now more than ever am in touch with what I have been seeking as my own 'reality', one that i can say is it for me. I am looking at myself from inside out and from out, within, I feel much closer now to the end of my journey for whatever it is worth; I am coming home. If I were to die tonight, it would be a blessing as I am as happy and contented with who I am as I can possibly be. What happens from now on is just added bonus, to my health and wealth and I am grateful to the source of my being; I am that, I am. The Eternal, the Unborn Buddha Nature, the Supreme Consciousness of the Cosmos , the manifestation of the Divine - Lord of Creation.

“Simplicity, patience, compassion.
These three are your greatest treasures.
Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being.
Patient with both friends and enemies,
you accord with the way things are.
Compassionate toward yourself,
you reconcile all beings in the world.” 
― Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

Lives that are being pushed out to sea.

For more than eleven years I have been hanging out in this area of the local fisherman's jetty. I enjoyed the friendliness and respect shown to me by those who come and go here eking out a living in one form or another, from fishing to drug dealing and gambling, running a restaurant/ coffee shop to selling the local brew called  ketum or biak in Malay. 

The area has been raided by  the narcotics department of the police force on numerous occasions and has become their place of training any new intakes on how to make drug and gambling arrests. As much as there are arrests made there is also rampant police corruption when fines a being pocketed by the law and enforcement officers according to the victims who were arrested.  

The fisherman's jetty is home to predominantly Malay fishermen who had been here for many years making it their get away home to hang out with friends and the freedom from being cooped up in an apartment building. Here they have the chance to let it go and do as they please after getting their jobs done.. The stench of the polluted sea and the garbage strewn all along the shore is the constant sight . 

This is the epitome of the life of the local Malays on the Island of Penang. Being driven out into the sea and deprived of even the meagre sense of freedom from the authorities. Their is a life of adjec displacement and neglect especially by the previous government for which they had staunchly supported to the end. Where would they go after this who knows and who really cares!

I am the Universal Soul.

And so what transmigrate after you die? If you are a believer in Incarnation and trans migration of the soul or life after death, the question is what or which part of you transmigrate or lives on to another dimension of existence whatever that may be. As a Muslim or a Christian i am to believe that i will end up either in heaven or hell. Science has not really come up with any conclusive answer to this riddle as yet except for those who have declared themselves as being atheist and thus when there is no soul to speak of then there is no transmigration of the soul can take place. In essence death means the end of the physical as a whole where nothing is left to be reckoned with. In this case life is meaningless in reality as we come, eat sleep. shit and die with no trace of who we are after we are gone. We will be remembered for a while by those who knew us or for whatever deeds we left behind good or bad for posterity, but after a while we are buried into oblivion. Atoms back to atoms perhaps to be pieced together again into another mass of an entity given the correct set of circumstances like that which  had happened before; if not well...floating around in the void of space is not bad either.

But what happens to consciousness, this that is making all the observations, mental, physical and spiritual, not to mention the psychological, emotional aspects of our human attributes or characteristics. It is rather hard to imagine that all these will simply fold up and disappear as though nothing had really transpired for the past seventy to eighty years. I am no scientist and as a matter of fact detested anything to do with math or science when I was in school, but I have a very imaginative mind that can envision my life and the universe without a single equation in the mathematical sense or scientific formula to have an insight into what makes the world goes round. Being raised and exposed to the ancient texts and religious values of the East and in my adult life being exposed to scientific understandings of the West, I am more than capable of coming to my own terms of   writing my own conclusion as to how and why the universe is created or what my connection to this whole state of existence amounts to. 

I am whole, complete and perfect, strong and powerful, loving and compassionate, harmonious and happy and I can do what I will to do, so help me God. This statement is made as an affirmation to myself, my mind and my soul almost every day of my life, just so i do not forget that i am more than meets the eye even to myself. I can read and listen to all the arguments and discoveries made by religions and the sciences throughout history and accept that all are a part of my wholesomeness, complete and perfect even those thoughts and ideas that are wrong or in errors, these too are a part of who I am; I manifest these for as long as I am living and perhaps when my physical body is dead. In my universe of existence nothing is lost and nothing is gain they merely appear and disappear just like clouds in an empty sky. The basic laws of cause and effect governs all and space and time are but an illusion that my mind has created in order to coexist along with the rest of the whole while I am in this state of consciousness, this realm. this dimension of existence. 

I am the Dancing Nataraja or the Cosmic Dancer, I am the selfless being of the Buddha, I am a conglomerate of atomic particles bunched together due to various laws of physics, biology and chemistry...I am that I am. I possess the Divine Nature, the Highest state of Consciousness, the Dharmakaya Buddha Nature and I am made out of the star dust of the universe, but all in all i realize that I am this entity this soul this infinite being that has existed and will continue to exist eternally along with the rest of the universe and souls like me. Whether an Einstein or a Picasso, Vladimir Horowitz or whether an Attila the Hun or a Stalin, these are all a part and parcel of my own complete whole as manifested from my own conditioning and evolution and is still in progress as more will come to fill up the empty spaces of my consciousness to completion, until I attain self realization or enlightenment; this is who I am. I am the sum total of what the Universe is in all its aspects a complete whole As the Universe is expanding, so is my consciousness; living life itself is just the taking care of the details in this realm of my existence.

This human life is precious as it is through having this form that I can liberate myself from the bonds of ignorance and impermanence consciously, just as I know I am going to die, I know i have to do all I can to transcend death by understanding life. The great teachings of the ancient masters and the scientific discoveries of the modern day combines together to pave the way for me into my self discovery of my own immortality; my eternal Being, my Cosmic Consciousness, my Divine Nature, call it what you may, but rest assured i will not accept being dubbed as an unconscious, soulless dust in the wind lost in the ever expanding universe; I am the soul of the Universe, I am the universal soul. 





   

Atoms to atoms-Dust to dust.

What am I under an electron microscope but tiny atoms bumping around against one another in an empty space; I am nothing. At least this is what science has to say about my physical status in this universe, I exist as I am in this physical form when all the natural elements come together in a cosmic balance and connects into each o, ther to form this material body I call my own body. When God created man out of clay and water and fire and wind all fused together and blown into life by the Divine wind, He created man out of His own image and endowed man with the mind making him capable of thinking, of feeling, of emotions and with the knowledge that man's life is impermanent; man will die one day. Thus man is , the only creature on this Planet who has the knowledge of his impending doom or  to be reborn into immortality after his physical death. Science is still grappling with the question of death and man's ability to think, to feel and so forth. No doubt under the microscope i am nothing but a gathering of atoms, mentally and psychologically, spiritually and in consciousness I am still an enigma. Science will proof what i am not, but what I am is a mystery yet far beyond the reach of scientific conclusion.

Perhaps one day into the future science will declare it has unravelled the mystery of God's finest creation but it will never be the whole mystery as if the whole truth is uncovered man will have ceased to exist only atoms remains, ashes to ashes, atoms to atoms. The question is where does the soul of man fits in this whole theory? I mean there has to be a programer or a n observer to this experiment; where does the 'I' fit into the picture? 

I am manifested Energy.

The Chinese calls it Chi and the Korean and Japanese calls it Ki and Hara the Hindus calls it Prana, in Malay it is known as 'angin' or wind and we call it Energy and it is what makes us who we are for without it we are as dead as a piece of driftwood. We are a bundle or a sack of skin, flesh and bones that allows for energy to flow in and out of ourselves like a hollow reed that allows for the breath of God to flow through us to make music that soothes the world. We are the machines and tools that the Universe employs in order to express itself and manifest its intentions. When fine tuned, we can manifest a whole lot of manifestations albeit good or bad, just an electrical conduit is capable of delivering maximum amount of electricity form one source to another when there is not obstruction along the way. Hence it is in our nature that we strive for an open channel with as little obstruction as we possibly could for energy to be delivered all through our entire physical as well as mental system.

Thus it is up to each and everyone of us to fully comprehend the workings of our body and mind in relation to the whole if not rest of the universe itself. It is imperative that understand our inner workings more acutely in order to become not merely as conduits and channels but also as boosters and impulses to generate greater energy out put of energy for the universe to operate. When all of us are able to become perfect conduits, channels and vassals of energy flow. collectively we can shape the universe according to our collective intentions. We can achieve this through making sure that our consciousness is not affected by any negative obstructions, like negative psychic energies in the form of anger or envy, greed or simply laziness. We owe it to ourselves to make an effort in keeping a well maintained mind and body status that is fluid and flawless, with all the channels open to receive and deliver energies that flows within and without; it is our practice our discipline.

In the practice of Kundalini Yoga, the energy flows through seven nadis or chakras upwards and downwards these are like your valves that helps to regulate your energy levels and intensities, where each level triggers a different frequency of energy the manifests different kinds of manifestations, such as sounds and colors. In the Chinese healing method of acupuncture and acupressure each point is a valve or a circuit relay that can cause a problem if in any way obstructed and thus has to be released through the piercing of the needles or the application of the pressure and sometimes heat as in moxa treatment. In short the flow of energy in our physical system is crucial just as in the external universal system as when energy flow is faulty it can cause harm to the body like a back pain or a stomach ache or a migraine. This is why it is vital that we make it a practice to move our body in exercises such as Yoga, Tai Chi, Chigung and various other methods and techniques to ensure that our energy flow is uninterrupted, fluid and smooth.