Recognizing the Source.

In the last few days i have pretty much written my heart out about anything and everything that my mind has been hankering about, it is like a belated spring cleaning of my conscious mind as well as insights into what my subconscious has to say about my stand on issues. I am about fully recuperated from my physical ailments and my itches in between my legs has fully healed and cleared. I have been keeping a more or less balanced diet and taking my medications for my high blood pressure on top of practicing my self healing routines, through meditation and auto suggestions, through awareness as well as silent prayers. I'm feeling better now as a whole and am ready to take on the next event that lay ahead of me, whatever that might be. I look forward to engaging myself with a more challenging and creatively rewarding venture.
Spent the afternoon with Lee Khai where we went to his optometrist to take a look at my eyesight, After the look and see i was told that it is useless for me to get a pair of glasses as I have cataracts in them and needs for an operation of sorts. So the next medical odyssey begins, like it would cost in the thousands for an operation in a private hospital a a wait of eternity if one is to go to the General Hospital, it looks like a long wait is the choice or a slow process of blindness before my time. As one gets up there in age one after another one is confronted with ailments, illnesses and all kinds of other wonders of the impermanence of life. All that exist will eventually cease to be and the process began the moment you were born.
But no regrets, however having had such good visions for so many years that has allowed me to draw and paint, to reads hundreds if not thousands of novels and hours of You Tube and Face Book, to have stared at women and to have witnessed amazing sights and scenes all over the world; if I loose my sights now it would be a blessing in disguise. i might create a whole new experience of living in a formless and colorless world and to have greater faith on the sense of hearing touch and taste to live by. One of my discovery about having blurry vision is that I pay allot less attention to my external surroundings. figures and faces does not register much more into my vision and my mind. For one who is trying to detach himself  as much as he can from the external circumstances and environment, loosing the eyesight at least partially would not be such a bad idea.
A few minutes ago  I was informed that the cost towards having an operation for my eyes would be born by my first son   
, the Captain who was informed of my status and decided what he would.do. My daughter is in touch with all three of her brothers keeping them updated on how their dad is doing and what he needs. I must admit I am moved by such care and help from my children and can't help but feel blessed despite my doubts; Such Is. It is yet another prove of my own doubts about myself, my conscious mind assuming and accepting the worse in my life only to realize that I am more than I can imagine and help is always readily available if I can allow for it to happen. 
The most crucial help that I often tend to overlook is that help that is inherent within me, my subconscious mind. This mind within the mind, the subjective mind has always been there throughout my life and  whenever I have exhausted my dual thinking conscious mind my subconscious mind would intervene and provide the solution to my problems especially if it involves the inner workings of the physical body. The subconscious mind is like the archive of all my possibilities and is readily available to serve my conscious demands. It serves subjectively without discrimination of right or wrong, it serves according to the demands of the conscious mind, Hence a positive demand results in positive response, and if it done repetitiously every day before you sleep and when you wake up, something is bound to happen in you life. How dedicated are  we towards becoming an independent entity capable of self sustenance and self healing? Or are we still too busy in our daily quest for fame and fortune or the security of our creature comfort, our secured future.
In healing we need not worry as the medical services today is much up  to date with whatever that is the you have and there is pill or two for every ailment to help you bear the pain. We have become dependent upon the doctors and medical specialists for our well being so much so that healthcare has become one of the most lucrative business in the world next to arms sales and human and drug trafficking.

"I am now writing in my subconscious mind, the idea of God's wealth. God is the source of my supply and all my needs are met   at every moment of time and point in space, God's wealth flows freely, joyously and ceaselessly into my experience and I give thanks for God's riches forever circulating in my experiences." 
Joseph Murphy - Repeated affirmation - meditation - mantra.