My faith in Islam.

Spiritually making what others think or feel I feel like i have been regressing into allowing for compromising myself to please those around me than being true to who I am or have come to know myself to be. All the years of deep research and practices on my own or with the help of my teachers and Gurus seems to mean less and less important although deep in my heart i still experience the transcendence truth that i have reached at some levels whereby I know who or what i truly am and what my spiritual beliefs and understanding are in essence. One of the primary cause of this regression is perhaps this need to please those around me, to make them feel like I belong and that their ways are the right path i should follow which in this case the Islamic faith. Again let me reemphasize here that i have arrived at accepting Islam as my religion or faith and it has been not because i was converted into it or because i have read or listened to anyone's views of it, I am a Muslim by choice arrived at through my journey of self discovery.
Having lived almost half my life in the West as well as in Japan, I have tasted, investigated, researched and analyzed all the other faiths and religious beliefs without fear of being accused as an apostate. On one of my visit home from the US some years ago my twin brother drove me all the way to KL from Kuala Terengganu, a journey that took five to six hours more of less. We hardly spoke a word all the way until we approached the outskirts of KL when he turned around and told me that I could be killed for having practiced Buddhism and the other religious faith as i was a Muslim back then. I did not say much as i knew it would only led to bigger arguments between us. Later at his home in KL he again raised the issue and this time he was even more serious. By then I realized that I will always remain an outcast among my Muslim brothers and sisters and that I have to resolve this one way or another.
To make such a choice of faith is not something that can happen overnight for a man like me who has more than one ax to grind about life as I have known it growing up into adulthood. I blame no one but my own ignorance that I have been led down this path in life, now that i have aged and approaching the pearly gates, I have arrived at my own conclusion somewhat as to what or where my faith lies in and no man can tell me who, how or when to pray without my consent and if I do it is only out of respect for those I love and look up to and for what they believe.
I have always said when asked what my religion is, that I am a Christian if you are, a Buddhist if you are, a Hindu, a Muslim a Jain, a Bahai, if you are; my God has no religion, as the Mahatma said. before anyone point his or her finger at me, i ask that they look very closely at their own finger if it is stainless and pure. The Prophet of Allah had warned that those who point a finger in accusation of fault to be mindful that the other four fingers are pointing right back at them... right or wrong, WallahuAllam, only the Lord knows.