Happy 66th. Birthday to you Bahari!

I have survived yet another year and as one of my cousin  likes to point out, this is an added bonus in this day and age. How does it feels to be 66? The Beatles album of Sgt. Pepper's Lonely hearts Club Band has a song called "When I am sixty four" one of my favorites in the album and it still is today as i watch how others see me or accept me for who I am, including my children, family and friends and how i see them. I can safely say that i am an unemployed, single and with an ever decreasing number of friends and relationship and I am loosing my zeal for living opting for the preparation to take that one final step into the beyond. I would not consider myself suicidal anymore as i am somewhat contented in where i am at as how I am and what i feel s my own choice, I make it as it is and not because i have no options. If there is any fear i have of how I would end up is to suffer a prolonged illness that would drag me as well as those around me down the rut before i take my final breath.
As i have always mentioned in the past while posting my blogs, I have lived life as fully as anyone could possibly do given the circumstances and my life style, the choices i made and the routes i had chosen. Regrets, yes i have some, made some errors and paid for my mistakes and successes i those too even if they seem insignificant in terms of wealth and creature comfort. I am still experimenting with my life and more so as i get closer to my final curtain, however i have become less gregarious and more of a recluse simply because it helps for me to take closer look at how far or how near i am at discovering the person that I am and in the same token how wide my consciousness has expanded as a person.
I am less distracted and more focused on what i have set out to achieve and that is in discovering my own presence; in the context of so called, life. 
Like most people i am still questioning my religious commitment and my spiritual development. Again, how far or how near i am to my Lord, my Creator, My Maker and or what it all means in the scheme of life when it comes to the choices one makes when it comes to religions. I am a Muslim, yes, but Am I? I rarely pray five times a day and by right that already has disqualified me as a true Muslim and what Is a True Muslim? I pray to the All Mighty Allah, Lord of the worlds as you might call Him God or by whatever name you choose almost in every breath i take and every time I think of Him and my prayer has always been, Astarg'firullah, simply means forgive me, Ya Allah; I am a sinner, but my faith in my Lord does not diminish by this admission. I am not a Christian only because I believe that Jesus, like Moses and Muhammad, the Prophet of Allah were all chosen men of God to propagate life and humanity and just as Buddha and Lao Tzu, Guru Nanak and the rest of the saints and Rishis were  men of spiritual wisdom to guide us through while we are on this short journey of life. Today men like J.Krishnamurti, and Alan Watts and Ram Dass, Mooji and Sai Baba, Ekhardt Tole, Deepak Chopra and the Dalai Lama among others are our contemporary sages, those evolved like Bodhisatvas to help us find our way.
If there is a sin it would be in not making the effort to learn, to come to an understanding, to cherish the human existence that one is given and make the best of being human benefiting those one comes into contact with even with one line of wisdom or insight that would help to cheer up a person or even a smile that comes direct from the heart that would nullify any negative feeling within the other, it would make one's presence on this earth worthwhile. One can sit and argue about faith and beliefs all your life, but one small act of selfless Love or Compassion towards
another sentient being is worth a lifetime of practice. If there is anything I have learned from listening to Mooji's Satsangs on You Tube is that, " You are not in a state of Transformation, you simply are....you are not your mind or your thinking, neither are you offended by them...you are not a work in progress, stay as awareness, as pure awareness there nothing to give up, nothing to change...the presence can be without the person, but the person cannot be without the presence."
All my years of studying about life, spirituality, and what makes sense and what does not boils down to this moment in time when i realize that i am just another being in who is present and accounted for every now and then. Like most who have evolved in age and  through experiences, I too am slowing down to be more 'here and now' and less scattered all over the board looking for answers. I have almost arrived at writing my own conclusion to this lengthy Blogging: my experiment with life.
It is 4;30 AM and I wish myself a Happy 66th. Birthday and may all Beings in the ten directions and the six realms, past present and future, together celebrate this moment with me.